GrUberfest 2005: Sweet Tooth (813 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.64 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Professional Peon <prof_peon.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-10-21 18:50:52 EDT
Hunter sat down in her seat with the other children and opened up her books to the appropriate chapter. She switched between doodling on the front of her notebook and staring out the window. Slowly the other children filed in and took their seats. Lisa, Hunter's best friend took her usual seat beside her. Mrs. Levitz came in a few moments later and asked for the class to settle down. The girls noticed she looked slightly upset, almost shaken.
"Alright class, please pack up your books we have a special assembly to attend this morning. Hunter and Lisa looked to each other, both were slightly confused. "Any idea what this is about?" Hunter whispered. Lisa glanced over at her and shook her head.
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The Auditorim
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"Good morning students" principal Richards bellowed out into the audience. "Thank you all for your patience, we have a special announcement today. From this day forward we will not be allowing students to leave the property to go home for lunch." Groans erupted from the older children in the back of the auditorium.
Principal Richards raised his hand as he nodded. "I understand this is an inconvienience for you older students, but it is a precaution that we must take. I don't know if any of you have seen the news lately, but children have been dissapearing so" he showed a letter to the audience. "Your teachers will be providing you with paperwork that you must take home and have signed by your parents so they understand the importance of this decision. These slips must be signed and returned tomorrow. NO exceptions." More groans and chatter echoed from the back.
"Also" he motioned for the NTA's to come on stage. "These are our non-teaching assistants. Some of you may be familiar with them, others may not. Until this issue has been resolved they will be standing at all schoolyard entrances during breaks to ensure compliance. No student will be allowed off of the property without a note and a guardian coming into the office to sign you out. No student may leave the property unattended during school hours. Also, kindergarden through third grade will be required to stay in the half of the yard closest to the school. NTA's will also be posted at the halfway point of the recess yard. Please... and this especially applies to our older students. Please do not be afraid to report any suspicious activities, and we will need your help to keep an eye on the younger children."
Boos, hissing, and profanity rained down on the principal.
"The OTHER alternative of course, is that we no longer allow for ANY outside activities until these persons have been apprehended. Your teachers will answer any questions you may have. Thank you all for your time and please, please look out for one another."
All the children headed on back to their respective classes. "What do you think that was all about?" Hunter asked a group of her friends as the meandered down the hall. Everyone shared their oppinions as to what was the matter, but being that they were only in fourth grade, most didn't give it a second thought.
After lunch the children all gathered in the school yard for recess. The NTA's stood guard like stonefaced sentrymen. The corralled the younger ones as the principal had promised and it was interferring with the fourth graders tradional game of 'suey'. Ricki caught Hunter's rebound and she took a mean fastball high on her back between her shoulders. She decided to sit out for a while.
Hunter couldn't shake the nervous feeling inside. She chalked it off to worrying about her little sister and her whereabouts. She scanned the play area and found her sister and her classmates playing a game of hopscotch nearby. Then something caught her eye, a cute little girl in a fluffy pink coat. She wore a matching cap with a fuzzy ball on the top that bounced around the crown of her head as she skipped around the schoolyard. Hunter was distracted momentarily by the cries of the next player out. It appeared Ricki got his just deserts. Lisa beaned him in the forehead. Hunter tried not to laugh at him as he hobbled over cluching the forming lump. "Aww poor baby, let me kiss it and make it better." Ricki scoweled at her taunting.
"Hurts don't it?" She smiled sheepishly and turned her attention back to the little girl in the furry pink coat. She had lost track of her, but noticed something strange at the end of the yard. The whole in the fence was not currently being monitored, the NTA was no where to be found. Then she noticed a van parked right at the entrance. The van stuck out fairly well since parking along the school property was not allowed. Hunter though the van was a dark green, creepy and dirty. The vehicles style reminded her of the old scooby-doo van, the Mystery Machine.
Hunter then spotted the little girl again. She had crossed over the halfway point of the yard and was skipping right towards the opening in the fence. Hunter started to hyperventalate, and cried out to Lisa. With all the commotion the children were causing no one could hear her. Hunter took off as fast as she could screaming at the top of her lungs. Her heart felt as though it would leap from her chest when the van's side door opened. Hunter ran full speed as she repeated in her head "don't talk to strangers, don't talk to strangers."
A scruffy man appeared from the opening. He had dark hair, and hadn't shaved in a few days. He was wearing dark clothes and large sunglasses. He waved hello to the little girl and offered her a bright red lollipop with his outstretched hand.
Hunter screamed at the top of her lungs for someone to help, but she couldn't get the attention of any of the adults. The whole thing felt very surrealistic when the nightmare became reality. The little girl reached up to accept the gift when the man lunged fourth and scooped her up. The little girl fought the man with hits and feverish kicks. She clawed at his face and at some point during the struggle she lost her fuzzy hat. She clawed him in the face a few times, but he would not let her go. She wrapped her little fingers onto something hanging around his neck. The man motioned for another dark shadowy figure inside the van to grab the girl. The men had the upper hand and the van's door slammed shut as it tore off down the street.
Hunter came to an exhausted halt at the end of the yard and doubled over to catch her breath. She watched the van speed away down the street and wished she could've seen the license plate. She scooped up the girls hat and stared at it for a few moments before noticing something on the ground not to far from where the hat had laid. It looked like a necklace made of stone, but once she picked it up she realized it was made of teeth. Hunter fought down the urge to retch as her friends caught up to her. Lisa panted "what.........what happened?"
Hunter looked at her with a long face and swollen eyes. She held up the necklace so her friends could all see.
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Later
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"Good evening and thank you for joining us on Fox 29 News tonight" the anchorman said as he forced a smile. "First in the news this evening, the body of missing Allison Smith was found in the Fairmount Park section of Philadelphia this evening. Alisha was last seen at her school in the Frankford section of the City three days ago. Police have no leads at this time but are asking that anyone who may have seen Alisha these past few days contact them at" *click*
Harry shook his head as he forced his ashen cigarette into the tray. "Goddammit" he mumbled to himself as he stared down at the map spread out in front of him on his decrepit coffee table. The map had several tiny red and blue flags stuck through it to identify the last known location of each of the girls. It had been two months since the first dissapearance at the beginning of the school year, and they were no closer to solving the case. With no leads, witnesses or identifiable motive police were at a loss, and detective Harry Jacobs was at the end of his rope.
He spread out the five manilla files out beside him, he opened each and placed the recent photos provided by their parents next to the corresponding flag. Two flags were blue, and symolized the girls bodies that had been found, the red flags were for those still missing. He plucked the red marker that represented Allison and disheartingly tossed it to the floor. He replaced it with a blue flag and began to intensely rub his temples.
"Meow"
"Hey there Lulu, come here honey." As much as Harry hated cats, he always felt that Lulu was special. She was very attentive when he spoke and appeared to be trying to help. Harry always consulted Lulu when a case stumped him enough to bring his work home.
Lulu hopped up on the coffee table and began to bat at the flags with her paw. "Well darlin', what do you make of this?"
"Meow"
"You're right, I should be getting to bed, but I would really like to figure out what the connection is. Something, anything. He stared at the pictures as he spoke to Lulu. "Well, they are all caucasian females, brunette, all relatively the same age and in middle school.... They are also all in public school, but it all seems so random. That's what scares me."
"Meow" Lulu purred as she rubbed up against his torso.
"Alright girl. You win. Off too bed with us."
The clock read 4 am when his cell phone came to life. A groggy Harry rolled over and cleared his throat. "A-Hello?"
"Harry, it's Frank. Sorry to wake you man."
"It's fine, whatcha got?"
"Heard from the coroner, we found a connection. At least it appears that way. But you know beggers can't be choosers and all. It's all we got to go on right now."
"Spit it out man."
"All the girls have had front teeth pulled out."
"What?"
"Yeah, Allison's father noticed her two front teeth were missing when he went and identified her body."
"Well, teeth do fall out you know."
"Yeah, but not your adult teeth at her age. She had already had them when her class picture was taken last year."
"Why would he do that?" Harry asked groggily.
"Don't ask me man, there are some sick fucks in this world."
Frank then read off the detailed account of the coroners report while a movie of what may have happened played in Harry's mind like a movie.
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Allison felt herself being tied up by her hands and legs. The lollipop man told her to be a good girl, a quiet girl. The ropes were tied too tightly and a burning sensation washed over her ankles and wrists. She struggled for a moment before he began speaking.
"Shh, now be a good girl and we won't have any problems okay."
The little girl nodded and then flinched as he began running his hand along her upper thigh. "It's just me dear." His tone was very calming, he didn't want to rattle her. He gently removed the makeshift blindfold and gag. Her eyes were bloodshot from hours of crying. The little girls eyes darted around the room searching for a way out or a savior. The room was dark, dull and musty. There was a horrible smell that the girl did not recognise. The room was clear of all furniture except the lavish bed she was currently tied too. She noticed a picture on the far wall. A little girl about her age, smiling and happy. The photo was slightly faded, it appeared to be a few years old. "Who are you? I want my mommy!" she cried as she began to ball her eyes out.
"It's okay Angela, daddy's here."
"My name is Allison."
"Hush Angie, daddy's gonna make it all better. Now be a good girl and open your mouth." Sara did as instructed and the man began to inspect her teeth. "Your teeth look just fabulous, at least if they don't fit I can start on a new necklace. You may be the final piece of my beautiful puzzle." In a split second he was ripping her teeth out of her face with a pair of rusty pliers. Allison let out a blood curdling scream as her teeth broke free from the strain. The man got mad and asked her repeatedly to be quiet. She kept screaming. He took a pillow and placed it over her face until she laid still.
The man walked over the the bathroom and opened the door. Inside was a rotting corpse. The figure appeared that it may, at one time resembled the little girl who now lay lifeless on the bed.
"Now you'll be perfect again Angela."
The man lifted the corpses upper lip and smiled proudly to himself that he had finally found the perfect fit.
User Reviews
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2005-10-22 12:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're moving on!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77548
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2005-10-22 09:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made my naughty bits all tingly like.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-10-22 01:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is really a 1.5 but I'm going to round up because of the creepiness of the tale
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-10-22 01:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That last section...man. Good times.
I'd liked to have seen all the sections fit together more. Maybe some foreshadowing early on by having the papers run stories about 'the Sweet Tooth killer' or something, making the build toward the final scene a little more epic. And yet, the anonymity makes it all a little more real.
Either way, you had me till the picture.
Looks like my ex wife in the mornings.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-10-21 23:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Grotesque.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-10-21 22:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it. Nice job.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 22:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, the "angela, allison, sara" business was a bit of a fuckaroo, but we've all been there.
where it really confused me was the middle. the news story said allison had been found...then spoke of alisha. Then when the cops discuss the coroner's findings, they call her allison again. Was that supposed to be alisha the whole time? or allison? Inquiring minds want to know.
also, the time periods were a little confusing. If hunter found the teeth in the first part, wouldn't the police know about it in the second? plus, why did it take three sets of parents before someone noticed that their kid's teeth had been extracted (two blue flags before alisha/allison was found)? They really should start paying attention to their other kids or child protection is going to have a word with them.
lastly...the picture made me ralph.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-10-21 22:00:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry to dissapoint once again Caes. I notice the more I read it, the more I wanted to forfeit because I couldn't get this outta my head.
*sigh*
Put it this way..... the fiction doesn't begin until her hat fell off.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-10-21 21:51:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 21:27:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
My name is Allison."
"Hush Angie, daddy's gonna make it all better. Now be a good girl and open your mouth." Sara did as instructed and the man began to inspect her teeth.
**********************
Wait, who's Sara?
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FUCK A DUCK I THOUGHT I FIXED THAT. I hate Wordpad. Originally I was going to do two separate girls, then I realized all my reviews would say WTF I'M NOT READIN ALL THAT. So I made it one character, and somewhere along the lines of my 4000 cut and paste attempts I left one out.
*sigh*
It's times like these I wish I could find the $80 MS WORD program I bought.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 21:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My name is Allison."
"Hush Angie, daddy's gonna make it all better. Now be a good girl and open your mouth." Sara did as instructed and the man began to inspect her teeth.
**********************
Wait, who's Sara?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-21 21:27:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Burns: Good Lord, Smithers! You look atrocious. I thought I told you to
take a vacation.
Homer the Smithers
*********************
Not bad. Creepy little twist for the bad guy. I wonder if the part with the detective was really necessary...
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2005-10-21 19:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ugh.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-10-21 19:25:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You rock!
Submitted by Inmate867428 (user info) at 2005-10-21 19:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well written.