I Killed a Man (696 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sword (View user info) at 2005-10-21 00:57:10 EDT
I killed a man the other day.
I left him, his body, lying on the sidewalk. He was a coworker of mine. I killed him with my bare hands.
Mike, from outside my cubicle "Hey, wanna go get something to eat?"
Me "Sure, where were you thinking of?"
Mike "I don't have too much time, maybe that hot dog guy down street, it's pretty good"
Me "Alright, one sec"
Mike can't breathe any more. I crushed his throat. There were tears in his eyes as he struggled for breath. Now his eyes are empty. Eyes, windows to the soul.
Mike, on the sidewalk "Hey, you know Melinda?"
I nod
Mike "She kept walking by my cubicle today, like 10 times, I think maybe she changed her mind about me"
Mike is 45 years old, has a rather large paunch and is awkward around women. He asked Melinda out once. Melinda is 20. Melinda did not change her mind about him.
Me "I'm not so sure she has Mike"
Mike, with a grunting laugh "Maybe she doesn't have to. You know, I don't really consider it rape, more like surprise sex"
Mike's jovial tone suggests he is kidding. My right fist hitting him in the face suggests I don't find it very funny. Mike is taken by surprise and staggers back. I hit him in the throat. He gasps for air like a fish drowning on air. I knee him in the groin. I slam my fore arm into his face. He staggers to the ground. I kick him once in the knee, one in the groin, once in the ribs and twice in the head. Blood is pooling about his head and shoulders now. I kneel down next to him and wrap my fingers around his throat. If he was unconscious before he isn't now. He starts to writhe and squirm on the ground. Soon he stops. I hold on for a little while longer.
Maybe I didn't kill Mike. But if I didn't then who is wrong? Me or him?
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-10-21 16:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
decent, although you make yourself out to be a little too tough..
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-10-21 13:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
so you're that pimply, 4'6" knight in shinning armor i saw the other day?
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-10-21 08:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Needlessly difficult to read.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-10-21 08:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I killed a man with a trident!
Submitted by missflibble (user info) at 2005-10-21 06:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality
Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go, Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me
Mama, just killed a man, Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooh, Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time
Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooh, I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very fright'ning me
(Galileo.) Galileo. (Galileo.) Galileo, Galileo figaro
Magnifico. I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go
Bismillah! No, we will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let him go!) Bismillah! We will not let you go
(Let me go.) Will not let you go
(Let me go.) Will not let you go. (Let me go.) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(Oh mama mia, mama mia.) Mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
Nothing really matters, Anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters to me
Any way the wind blows
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-10-21 03:06:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:07:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
Because an old geezer wants to pork a young girl, you kill him? Blow me.
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What if it was an old laydeee wanting to pork a young boy? Now I'd say that that needs to happen more often.
Now if this had been a post about a sixteen year old being beaten and raped by a 40 year old woman then this would have been ace.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-10-21 02:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rape is sweet. Well written. Oh snap! Cowabunga dudes!
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-10-21 02:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Weak.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2005-10-21 02:30:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You don't fine rape funny? auto -2
Submitted by sword (user info) at 2005-10-21 02:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes bubba that was the point of the story, good work
Submitted by Phate (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh
Submitted by safeway_security (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:18:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77407
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:07:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Because an old geezer wants to pork a young girl, you kill him? Blow me.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-10-21 01:00:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment