It's really not ok to love your boss. (2144 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.28 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lojope <lojope.at.juno.com> (View user info) at 2005-09-29 10:08:40 EDT
Seriously, it's not.
It's funny, when you find yourself in the middle of one of those situations that everyone knows is a bad idea, you always seem to convince yourself that this time it's different. That somehow you are exempt from social boundries. That the rules just don't apply here.
It's not. You're not. They do.
I work for a man who is the embodiment of everything I love, and want to be. He's passionate, committed to everything he believes, and has the integrity and willpower of a titanium cage. He's also intelligent and funny. On top of that, he is the most attractive man I have ever seen.
I know, I know, I can hear you thinking.... love is blind, there's no way he's that perfect, I am seeing what I want to see... etc etc etc.... No. He has flaws, I know what they are and I admit they are there. But his flaws are not the point.
Well, except one of them.
He's my boss. It's a big uh-oh.
As my crush was developing I had myself convinced that it wouldn't matter. That I could separate the two. That I could have a work relationship with him, and one outside of work and the two would not overlap.
So I subtly pursued him outside of work, and we got really close. We are really close. We spend most weekends together, go camping, go hiking, go to dinner. He knows I am crazy about him, and he feels the same way, though we have never actually crossed the line yet. Never kissed, never slept together (except the few times we actually SLEPT together on the couch or in the car on long trips).
We came close once, stumbled drunkenly towards his tent on a camping trip and moved in for our first kiss when at the last minute he stopped and said he couldn't because of work. I told him I understood, and we stayed apart yet again.
Even after the conversation the next morning about how we can't cross that line, we just grew closer. I am in love with him, and when he looks at me I can tell he feels it too.
But there is nothing we can do. He's my boss, and I am committed to the work we do, as is he. Niether of us are willing to jeapordize the office, or the campaign. Niether of us want anything to change at work. But both of us want something to change outside of work.
Can't have one without the other. If we got together, things in the office WOULD change, and if they changed for the worse, it would most likely be impossible to go back to the way things were.
But things are already changing. The pressure is building, I feel it everyday when I walk in. I fear the damage may be done already, and we've never even kissed. There may not bee anyway for this to end well.
It's just not ok to love your boss.
User Reviews
Submitted by spyder882001 (user info) at 2007-05-09 09:09:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
one solution get another raise, become a partner and then he is not your boss he is your partner.
-1 for not thinking of it yourself
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2007-05-09 08:53:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
so... he's a victim of manrape?
Yeah i can see how sleeping with the manager of a mcdonald's could be awkward
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-12 13:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thou art fucked.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2005-12-12 13:36:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's times like this you just need to fuck him by the water cooler.
Submitted by Ayato (user info) at 2005-12-12 13:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Once a line is laid, the tension will only grow; and it'd be something adventurous.
One question though; isn't Peter gay?
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2005-10-08 21:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't shit where you eat.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-10-08 20:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WAZZZZZZZUP?????
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-10-01 17:54:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I completely disagree. I think if you're both mature enough, you can handle it. Some people aren't, though. That being said, I don't know what you do...if you were a porn star and he was your director, for example, that might cause some problems.
I dated a girl who worked for me, once. She broke up with me, in a manner that pissed me off a fair bit. Our work relationship didn't change. No one ever realized we had even started dating, let alone stopped.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-09-29 21:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a slight crush on my boss. It sucks.
Submitted by Grandchawhee (user info) at 2005-09-29 21:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lojope, great honesty, although you must learn that all men, except your wonderful, caring brothers and father, are scummy assholes.
Those who lightly toss around the rape references are assholes. Lucky I don't know you personally.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-09-29 17:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It really is ok to love your boss
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-09-29 17:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:33:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, I totally understand what you're saying, and if this was a normal job I would agree with you. But this is more than a job for me. It is THE job. It's what I have committed my life to. I've poured everything I have into it
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Professional whiner? Hey, at least I didnt' say rapist....
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-09-29 17:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well said
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-09-29 16:12:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
maybe, but i bet it's ok to get raped by him
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-09-29 16:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yikes. Good luck.
Submitted by userpete86 (user info) at 2005-09-29 16:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2005-09-29 15:54:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
get a new job.... bam! problem solved. Then you can fuck like bunnies.
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If this is fiction, I'll give you a +2.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-09-29 16:02:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Young teacher the subject
of schoolgirl fantasy
she wants him so badly
knows what she wants to be
inside her there's longing
this girl's an open page
book marking she's so close now
this girl is half his age
Don't stand to close to me
Her friends are so jealous
you know how bad girls get
sometimes it's not so easy
to be the teacher's pet
temptation, frustration
so bad it makes him cry
wet bus stop, whe's waiting
his car is warm and dry
Don't stand so close to me
Loose talk in the classroom
to hurt they try and try
strong words in the staffroom
the accusations fly
it's no use
he sees her
he starts to shake he starts to cough
just like the old man in
that famous book by nabakov
Don't stand so close to me
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2005-09-29 15:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
get a new job.... bam! problem solved. Then you can fuck like bunnies.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-09-29 15:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perception is reality...surely someone else has noticed how "friendly" the two of you have become.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-09-29 15:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You might as well do it (or rather, he should) because even if you don't you're going to get blamed for it anyway. I speak from experience.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32934
And I can also tell you from experience, if you get caught, he will likely get to keep his job. For whatever reason it always seems to be the chick who gets canned.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-09-29 15:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get a new job
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-29 13:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry, Logalog was a wicked bad ninja wizard and was the hero for several generations.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-29 13:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-09-29 12:43:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never seen things like this turn out well.
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Admittedly there is the awkwardness that will follow when either Logalog or the object of her desire inevitably fuck up the relationship but I don't think that'll be a problem. Men who work for non-profit organisations are notoriously emotionally vulnerable and he will no doubt flee the company once the relationship comes to it's train-wreck conclusion.
Men are like pens, you use them up and then you chuck 'em away. Right Logalog?
p.s. I can never quite remember the name Lojopoe's correct spelling so I will forever refer to you as that cute vole from that french dude's books.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-09-29 12:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never seen things like this turn out well.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-29 12:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it was anything less than that, I'd quit immediately, I love him that much.
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*steeples hands*
Here's the thing. You are working for a non-profit organisation that has no-where for you to transfer to, correct? If that is not the case then all you need to do is ask the bloke to find you another line manager. Easy. If I am correct then you should be with the man and you forfeit any promotion and any non-blanket pay increases/benefits that would otherwise come your way. Your employers will only be irked if they see signs of a conflict of interest in action. I know this from hands on experience.
Only the most draconion of organisations (such as the military) would take exception to a line manager finding love with his subordinates if they followed the above principle.
Of course, whilst you're with him your career is on hold but that is worth it for love.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's just not ok to love your boss....
...unless you're in a porn movie.
*Boom chicka-chicka wakka wakka waaaooooow*
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's just not ok to love your boss....
...unless you're in a porn movie.
*Boom chicka-chicka wakka wakka waaaooooow*
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice to see you're alive. Miss talking to you.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, I totally understand what you're saying, and if this was a normal job I would agree with you. But this is more than a job for me. It is THE job. It's what I have committed my life to. I've poured everything I have into it, it's a cause that I am completely personally invested in. It is my life's work, my opus, all that stuff. If it was anything less than that, I'd quit immediately, I love him that much.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:30:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Find an other job. Your references will be GLOWING.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:28:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are overvaluing sex. It's just sex. You apparently already have feelings for each other, and hang out in intimate one on one settings -- I'd venture to say that's far more meaningful than sex. Just fuck and get it over with.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I must have missed some of those posts or somthing....I thought you and JohnGalt...never mind, I must be an idiot or somthing.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:40:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
fuck it, just quit. the both of you. fall in love, and enjoy scrubbing tables at denny's for the rest of your life.
ITS WORTH IT.
---------------------------------------------
Maybe they already work at Dennys. He's the assistant-sub-vice-president of menu wiping, and she's working her way up to be a lettuce washer.
Glory days.....
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most of the senior staff already know something is there, and don't mind, but they'd probably care if they found out we'd acted on it.
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If you want my honest opinion (and I'm gonna go right ahead and assume you do) then I reckon you're looking for reasons to push this guy away.
Fuck it I'm gonna come right out and say it. I fucking hate it when I see shit like this. Do you know how rare it is for some of us to find somebody like that? How lonely life gets waiting for someone decent to love? Fuck you with your "should I choose love or my job, because the two things have vaugly equal balance in my Friends-esque life". If you can't make this simple decision then you aren't good enough for him.
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-09-29 11:09:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate china
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And for the person who wanted to know more or whatever it was you said, here's the other stuff I've posted about him/us:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60220
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67364
http://www.ubersite.com/m/73627
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:47:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I work in a small, tight-knit office, where most of us are friends and see each other socially, the strange hours and the perpetual overtime that working for a not-for-profit organization has makes it so we hang out together, or don't hang out at all because no one that has to work at 9am is ready to head out to the bar at 1am on a weeknight.
Point is, he and I hanging out on weekends is pretty well-known, but not out of the ordinary, we all hang out with work people.
Most of the senior staff already know something is there, and don't mind, but they'd probably care if they found out we'd acted on it.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ms. lewinski?
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
fuck it, just quit. the both of you. fall in love, and enjoy scrubbing tables at denny's for the rest of your life.
ITS WORTH IT.
Submitted by NOWorNEVER (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well, i just finished reading this... http://www.ubersite.com/m/76093, so i'm going to say do whatever you can to make it work... that probably involves a job search though. the only question is if you guys already have the emotional thing, and are hanging out on weekends, do people at work suspect something is up? if so, percieved favoritism etc are already going to be an issue.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry about it. The wind and rain today are going to completely destroy the ENTIRE CITY. Then you won't have a job, so you can sleep with whomever you want. Outside. In the cold. With all the little school kids watching, because they closed the schools over a god damn thunderstorm.
Note to peoples not from the north: Don't listen to them when they laugh at you for living in a place where they shut down everything over a few inches of snow. Central New York has closed multiple school districts today because...it's RAINING AND WINDY!!! Oh no! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Bunch of freakin pansies...
----
Apologies for the digression, but I think I've pretty much said all there is to say about this situation. I still say the same thing. He'll decide to give it a shot eventually. How that will effect work, who knows? But at this point it's worth the risk to find out. Worst case scenario is that things at work are bit uncomfortable until you aren't working in roles that keep you from seeing each other. It's not like it's going to get to the point where either of you can't work there anymore, and eventually you'll both end up in positions where it would be OK to date because he won't be your boss.
Anyway, I think you should find a better way to be an activist anyway. If it was me, I'd go for one where you don't have to stand out in the cold all night and where you have hours that don't suck.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You run the risk of having someone see the relationship - regardless of how benign it may be right now - as a real ethical danger zone, particularly if you receive any sort of promotion, pay raise, or any sort of additional benefit/responsibility. As your boss, obviously, he'd have some say in any of that, and even if it was based entirely on merit and nothing else, if you've got people at work who know that you two spend weekends together and hang out a lot, then you've possibly got people who may see that as an unfair advantage on your end.
Could you switch departments, so he's not your boss? Short of leaving the company, that's about the only way to satisfy your professional and personal desires.
That's what my ex-wife did when she realized she'd rather fuck her boss than stay married to me. Trust me, that move helps avoid all sorts of ethical workplace issues.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:19:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=niether
And there wasn't enough of a solid plot here to bring me to climax. Explain more about this! How long's it been going on for? Do co-workers notice? Would you consider leaving your job for this?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you're spending weekends with him, then your work colleagues will already know.
Now bump uglies with him and be done with it!
And don't forget to post pics of your sweaty, lust filled session.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think I'm with Zak on this one.
Good to see you back though.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Show up to work topless. Ask for a raise. If he denies, claim sexual harrassment.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
vapid
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:14:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJJOJOJOJOJOJOJOJJOJOJOJO
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just fuck him you homo.
Seriously though, do it. We don't get many chances at being happy and you should grab everyone you get. You can take that as official HR advice.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess I'm safe then, because my boss is a faggot douchebag from hell.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck that shit.
You just do what you got to do.
there are no rules to passion, there are no consequences just excuses.
(goes for a cup of tea.)
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-09-29 10:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lojope lojope lojope