The Mall (554 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.42 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dino Lamino <minimumdino.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-07-06 15:33:04 EDT
Why do people shop at the mall when it is sunny out? And gorgeous? And Cape Cod?
I don't get it... maybe its so noticeable because of the sheer size of the crowds congesting the hallways as I try to get from one side of the mall to the other, just for a taste of some Dunkin... I have an excuse, I get paid because I do just enough to keep from getting fired from my decent paying job. But it is at the mall... this small city within a city. So I have to make do and shuffle up and down these tiles and get attacked by the piercing screams of the asian ladies trying to hustle their orange chicken.
Sometimes its OK, like watching the slutty chicks walk back and forth through the glass, making bets with my coworkers as to whether or not she's old enough to buy a pack of smokes. You have your color coded gangstas, the meanest mofos before the Sagamore bridge. The goths will make you weep as their clothing tells a story of abuse, hate, and bad music... I feel somewhat responsible for their generous application of mascara. I guess they need more YMCA's around here... or better music selection at FYE.
Then there are individual characters who make their daily appearances. There's Sweater Man, the perpetually sweater-bearing self head shaver who makes funny shapes and mohawks with his scraggly hair. He never speaks a word, but marches up and down the halls like a true diplomat of all that is sweater. I have seen him several times in his gear at local clubs, and he always dances by himself. Black Man with a Suit is always sitting on one of the benches, always wearing the same suit, sometimes with a large wool trenchcoat. He also never speaks a word to anyone, but walks around with obviously nowhere else to go.
OK, this will run on so I will stop for now... But basically, I shop for what I need. I can't sit in the mall with my girlfriend, I have crazy ADD... but I mean, just walk around? For hours? GO TO THE BEACH! ENJOY YOUR LIFE UNDER THE SUN, NOT FLOURESCENT LIGHTS!!
(P.s. can you tell I am at work bored?)
User Reviews
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-01-12 07:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Spamming people's posts is ghey.
How ironic that I'm spamming yours!
Submitted by Azk (user info) at 2006-01-11 16:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Reminded me of my trip to america :)
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:48:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
LAZER BEAM
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-01-11 15:13:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hear someone has a sandy vagina in these parts.
Is it you? Are they your parts?
Submitted by checkyourmail (user info) at 2005-07-06 18:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One glance at that and I new not to read it.
Go drown in a bottle of urine.
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-07-06 17:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-06 16:10:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-06 15:26:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-06 13:58:23 (#)
Ranking: -1
Bleach your anus.
LET'S MAKE A CHOO CHOO!
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-07-06 16:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Somehow, very much like Mallrats..except that it kinda of stops short of any real humor or interest..
work on detailing more
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-06 16:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
0 = worth reading.
Most sarcastic rating I ever gave ANYONE.
Submitted by jimthefiend (user info) at 2005-07-06 16:25:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Blogging for dummies.
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-06 16:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and become EXTINCT
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-06 16:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey Dino, stick to be a dinosaur
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2005-07-06 16:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-07-06 15:26:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-07-06 13:58:23 (#)
Ranking: -1
Bleach your anus.
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Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-07-06 15:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
for real, yo
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-07-06 15:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
get a job
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2005-07-06 15:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Difficult to read, not too easy on the eyes. Oh and it sucked too.
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2005-07-06 15:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Malls are great!
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2005-07-06 15:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Large Block of Text.