how I got my nickname (1058 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.57 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Peckerhead (View user info) at 2005-06-15 21:53:13 EDT
I know this was a bandwagon awhile back but I had this idea for a possible post long before the bandwagon. Can I prove it? No. On with the story...
Peckerhead is in fact my nickname here at Uber but initially it was given to me by a classmate named Bruce in the 8th grade.
Lakeview Junior High was an excellent school with a stellar group of teachers. One of these teachers was named Hector Scapello. Hector was my math and phys ed (gym) teacher. I was quite good in math and science. I was pretty good in most other subjects too and usually brought home good report cards. I liked and participated in sports and was good enough to make most of the teams I tried out for. Forgive me for blowing my own horn a little but it has to do with the story as you will soon see.
Lakeview school had a good number of students like me. The term used back then was "all around" student. There were also students who did their best and got reasonable grades. This middle group of students was made up of young people who were either not driven or did not have a natural gift or inclination towards academics. They did what they had to do to pass but that was about it. Some of these students were artists, musicians, athletes; Some had busy schedules after school and some had demands at home.
These were average students who were generally good people at heart but either couldn't or wouldn't put in outstanding efforts just for the sake of high marks, recognition by teachers etc. Some of these people were very adept socially and I became good friends with them outside of school. In future years, I would come to learn that an *education* consisted of much more than obtaining high marks. Extending that a little, I would say that each and every student I ever came in contact with taught me something; sometimes school related but more often about real life.
There was a third group. I understand that labelling young people as 'problem' students or trouble makers is generally not done anymore. I do not know the politically correct term for the type of student I am trying to describe. They may not have been called troubled but in fact that is exactly what they were: Trouble.
Enter Bruce Howitt. Look up "trouble" in the dictionary and you will find a pic of Bruce, smiling proudly beside the definition. Bruce and a number of others like him were the ones constantly getting into trouble. There were fights, disputes, childish pranks and ongoing reckless, sometimes deviant behavior. Drugs were not prevalent but alcohol was certainly around. I don't know that alcohol was the root cause but these kids were either directly involved with booze or the parents (one or both) were generally heavy drinkers.
I don't have a clear first impression of Bruce which surprises me. Maybe I got to know him gradually. In any case, once you knew Bruce Howitt you could never ever forget him. Bruce was not a big guy. He was quite short with red hair, freckles and an ear to ear grin despite at least two missing teeth. What can I say -- the guy just looked funny! I understood that it was not nice or correct to make fun of guys like Bruce but I absolutely could not help it; not at first anyway.
I don't think Bruce knew or cared whether people were laughing *with* or AT him. Bruce would have made an excellent clown. Hell, for all I know, maybe that is exactly what he does these days. I have a sad feeling that he just might be in jail somewhere although I sincerely hope not. So what was so wrong with playing the fool and making people laugh? Nothing providing it only happened on occasion. The problem was that Bruce just didn't know when to quit. Also, some of Bruce's jokes or tricks could get pretty mean. A few kids got hurt. I'm talking borderline sociopath here.
One day, Hector pulled me aside and asked if we could have a little talk. Hector explained that he and other teachers were having a difficult time with Bruce (surprise surprise). I listened attentively, nodded and smiled while Hector continued. The basic idea and request was that I try and spend a little time with Bruce in hopes that some of my good habits might rub off and have a positive effect.
I wasn't exactly a brown-noser but this was clearly an opportunity to score some points with Hector along with other staff members. I was young, naive and had a huge ego. Hector's approach was positive and polite and it would have been hard to say no to him.
The problem was that no one considered the possibility of a backfire. Sure, Bruce would be exposed to more appropriate behavior, better study habits, a good work ethic and possible friendship. On the surface it seemed like a great idea with little or no downside.
Newton's Third Law states: "For each and every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."
How does this apply? While Bruce was being exposed to good and proper behavior and changing ever so slightly in a positive manner, I on the other hand was turning into an asshole! A real peckerhead if you will. Hell, it got to the point where Bruce would refer to me by aforementioned nickname. e.g.
"Hey Peckerhead... how's it going!"
"Now Peckerhead, that wasn't very nice. You're getting as bad as me." (and I was)
"Peckerhead, did your mom make my sammich like I axsked?"
Well there you have it. That first day I came upon Ubersite and started considering nicknames -- it was too easy. Here is a website promoting free thinking and free expression of thoughts and opinions; a website which allows and often encourages assholes and idiots to do their own thing.
Oh there are a few genuine authors here and there -- and some damned fine story telling to be sure. It's actually good that venues like Ubersite exist. After all, would you really want someone like me walking around in your neighborhood? I think not.
I don't have a photo of Bruce and don't really need one. My lasting image of Bruce is him dancing wildly in the gymnasium, running ten steps to flick up a girls skirt, escaping through the crowd only to emerge on stage with the band -- playing air guitar to the Kinks song - Lola.
"Girls will be boys and boys will be girls... It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola"... and Bruce ... and all the members of Ubersite ... and peckerheads like me!
User Reviews
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2005-12-06 21:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Girls will be boys and boys will be girls... It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola"
You have mail.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-23 01:45:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks C1ndy and kimmy. I'm glad you got something out of this story. Sorry for not coming up with a few really good examples or episodes re Bruce. I thought that some solid memories would come back while writing the story but I guess not. Thanks again :-)
Submitted by kimmy02721 (user info) at 2005-06-17 11:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Considering your user name I was hoping for an x-rated or maybe even R rated story, this was kinda slow paced and lacked details but it was pretty good. well thought out and well written.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-16 12:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
cute
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-16 12:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
quack: You're absolutely right. This post is relatively boring. I went out on a limb in a recent post and nearly got castrated. This post was designed to be "safe". Thank you for the "well written" comment.
DeathJester: Grade 8 was a loooooong time ago for me. I don't remember the specific shenanigans so much as Bruce himself. Think of Steve Martin or any other good stand-up comedian. Sometimes it's tough to re-tell a joke by these guys/gals because a lot of it is the delivery, facial expressions, quirks, idiosyncrasies etc.
Think of the last really good party you were at. Someone there was "the life of the party". He/she said and did things that the others were afraid to do. He was probably funny from the word go. He told dirty jokes and got away with it -- because he could. He was high energy, witty, zany, outrageous and wild! That was Bruce. If I think of specific instances - besides him playing the fool at school dances (absolutely true)- then I'll come back and relate them.
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-06-16 07:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well written.
boring.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-06-16 06:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tell us about Bruce's shenanigans.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shitfuck, Thanks man. I am positive that you and Bruce would have got along. He was one of the funniest guys I ever met; spontaneous, witty and devoid of human inhibitions. He rocked.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2005-06-16 01:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Girlwithaclue - or should I say Whoweannie: Thanks for getting this off to a good start. I enjoyed your story on how your nick came about. My older brother, much like Bruce in many ways, used to refer to (sloe) gin as "panty remover" so be careful with that.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-06-16 00:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bang chicks ruthlessly in the ass.
And I drive a Porsche.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-06-15 22:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My nickname is whoweannie. My good friend Sherri christened me with that at the first Sky Show (fireworks and music) when I was 14. We were all hammered drinking sloe-gin and oj and she lost her bag of chips under her ass.
Now mind you that was a mighty big ass at that. Anyway, she asked me to get the chips for her and I pulled them out from under her with the greatest of efforts and she said "why you are a regular whoweannie". From that day forward I get mail at my house addressed to Whoweannie xxxxxxx.
My kids think it is hilarious!!
I use it as my email and my screenname.