My Plan for the Day…..or….Filthy, Have Some of My Pounds (2800 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.81 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Holly Golitely <hollywon1.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-06-04 18:31:36 EDT
I decided that I'm going to be a dollar bill today.
A dollar isn't much, but it's better than nothing. I want to be Filthy's* dollar; So much potential her dollar has. She sees me as some beans and a slice of bread, but I see myself as an investment. I could be a lottery ticket. Do they have lottery tickets in England? Do people in England hold all hope for their happiness in the form of a piece of paper with random numbers printed on it?
Well, shit. I guess I'm too stupid to be a dollar bill seeing as how I was my ignorance in that last paragraph failed to remember that Filthy didn't ever have a dollar, but instead a pound. And God knows....I'd wish not to be any more pounds than I already am.
Fine then, I shall be a feather. Not just a regular feather, but a pen sort of feather; like the one used to sign the Declaration of Independence. Can you imagine if some other sorts of creatures used our dead skin cells, or hair that falls out in the shower, to relay a message? That'd be weird........and gross.
So, forget that idea. Maybe, being a cowbell is more suitable for my mood today. Why do/did cows ever have bells? Cows don't really run off, do they? They can't be so hard to find that they need a God damned bell. Boy, that sure would piss me off, were I a cow, (which, today, I am not). Not only would my meals consist of nothing but fucking grass, but I had tubes put in my ears when I was small, and the sound of bells sort of makes the insides of my right ear jiggle. I hate that almost as much as I hate eating outdoor carpet.
Damnit. Pretending just isn't as fun as it used to be.
*Filthy, I think you need to create a PayPal account and maybe a sex video. I went to Dangerfield's, (a comedy club if you're not familiar with Rodney), in NYC once with three friends. We each owed a $12 cover and had two beers a piece. My tab was $150 for two hours of fun. Seeing as how you've provided me at least that much entertainment, I think I owe you some money. Fair's fair.
I leave you with an excellent picture of yours truly. Wouldn't it be swell if life were as pixilated and dim as we'd like it to be?
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-12-31 13:17:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Program_Geek (user info) at 2005-06-18 12:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck you.
acting like you want -2's so you can get a higher score?
Another fucking pity post.
I want everyone to fucking give this bitch what she deserves.
-2
She'll be happy. She said it'
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-06-15 17:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet post
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-06-15 00:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
would have been a +2 if you had smiled
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2005-06-12 09:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-06-06 18:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the eyebrows need a little more work for the Audrey look, but otherwise, you're quite beautiful...
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-06-06 01:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice post and I see that you're still hot. Are you still malicious too? >:-)
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-06-05 11:54:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(I wonder if Filthy would accept)
(Monopoly money, or seks???)
O
o
.
.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-05 11:24:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A Filthy Assistant in need is a Filthy Assistant indeed. Sent a lil sumthin sumthin.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-05 09:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, have a million billion dollars.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-06-05 02:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What you should all be worried about is that I actually already have a paypal account specifically so random internet strangers can donate their wife's life savings to the worthy cause of keeping me in beer.
filthyassistantinneed.at.gmail.com
I figure hocking out my nipples for uber's entertainment is worthy of a dollar, even though it's all academic because paypal will swallow it in fees.
Send money, and I'll promise not to breed.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:22:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like you hate most people. Nice.
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hahaha.....I look like I have mean fish mouth
Regardless, you owe $1
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:22:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look like you hate most people. Nice.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-05 00:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok ok, you'll get 20 bucks from me.
BUT THAT'S IT
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Please be prepared to contribute to the Filthy Fund.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-06-04 23:05:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-06-04 22:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
If you smiled, or if you had lethal breasts, you'd look strikingly like Elizabeth Hurley, the chick who played Vanessa Kensington in the first Austin Powers.
I'm really not kidding, it's freaking me out.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 22:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-04 22:16:00 (#)
Ranking: 1
You silly slut.
http://www.hollygolightly.com/
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You silly ol' fool!
http://www.silvioberlusconi.com/Pictures/ber-pinocchio-%2Bd.n.style.jpg
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-04 22:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You silly slut.
http://www.hollygolightly.com/
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-06-04 21:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:02:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Cam.
Breakfast is one of my guilty pleasures movies. Audrey was lovely, wasn't she? I was thinking, your hair resembles hers. You out to have your photo taken in a little black dress, pearl necklace, and a long cigarette holder.
Then post it.
That would be fun.
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I'll supply the pearl necklace.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-04 21:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
create an account? are we talking about different filthy's?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-04 20:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck my ass and call me Susie, I forgot to rate. So sorry.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-06-04 20:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:25:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:14:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
One time I was desk for an entire day. JOHN RITTERS DESK. That's pretty badass. This reminds me of one of my posts, don't you live in Ohio somewhere? Let's make some babies.
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Actually, I live south of the border (KY). You, Hadley, and I are supposed to go to a Red's game sometime. I guess you weren't informed.
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I must have caught him at a bad time....
So I need like, phone numbers or something from you people. Drop a brotha an email. onecheapgeek.at.gmail.com
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 20:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-04 20:38:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't read this, but i would like to pound filthy. with my penis.
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Yes, pounding. It is a new noun. We are all to pound her at least once a day.
Filthy, get your bitch ass up and create an account before people start talking.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-06-04 20:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't read this, but i would like to pound filthy. with my penis.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:14:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
One time I was desk for an entire day. JOHN RITTERS DESK. That's pretty badass. This reminds me of one of my posts, don't you live in Ohio somewhere? Let's make some babies.
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Actually, I live south of the border (KY). You, Hadley, and I are supposed to go to a Red's game sometime. I guess you weren't informed.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, we shall ban together and save Filthy. The membership fee is $10, then $10 per month. If you are FOREIGN.......I DON'T KNOW.
Submitted by Slypher (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hawt.
SAVE FILTHY!
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One time I was desk for an entire day. JOHN RITTERS DESK. That's pretty badass. This reminds me of one of my posts, don't you live in Ohio somewhere? Let's make some babies.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:06:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:02:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Cam.
Breakfast is one of my guilty pleasures movies. Audrey was lovely, wasn't she? I was thinking, your hair resembles hers. You out to have your photo taken in a little black dress, pearl necklace, and a long cigarette holder.
Then post it.
That would be fun.
--------------
That's why I cut myself some bangs (which, by the way, I recommend!). Unfortunately, trying to create my own picture in her image would be similar to Shlongy posing as Fabio. ha!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-06-04 19:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Cam.
Breakfast is one of my guilty pleasures movies. Audrey was lovely, wasn't she? I was thinking, your hair resembles hers. You out to have your photo taken in a little black dress, pearl necklace, and a long cigarette holder.
Then post it.
That would be fun.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:46:49 (#)
Ranking: 1
You look familiar in a very slutty kind of way.
Two questions...
1) Do you like the musician Holly Golightly, and..
b) Did we do it once in the parking lot, outside of a bar, leaning over my old Porsche?
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You disgust me in a very disgusting sort of way. :)
No....I think that Audrey Hepburn is one of the most beautiful woman to ever have lived and, while she WAS a call girl in Breakfast at Tiffany's, there were multiple, (and in my opinion fascinating), dimensions to her character.
I'm not comparing myself to her; only paying a terrible homage.
So, no. I own a Mercedes, not a Porsche.
Submitted by swamp_donkey (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would like to look into your eyes as we thrust our loins together.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You look familiar in a very slutty kind of way.
Two questions...
1) Do you like the musician Holly Golightly, and..
b) Did we do it once in the parking lot, outside of a bar, leaning over my old Porsche?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:38:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm too drunk to understnad this post- comedy sex videos dollar bills? I'm sure it is brilliant +2.
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Psht..Cindy... You and Filthy are tied for first on my list of favorite Uber girls. So, you create a paypal account, and I'll give you a 15 cents (just incase you drink more than I do) for every sip'o'spirit you take!
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I'm not drinking anymore- I just has aload of red wine. *no more drunk reviews*
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:33:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm too drunk to understnad this post- comedy sex videos dollar bills? I'm sure it is brilliant +2.
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Psht..Cindy... You and Filthy are tied for first on my list of favorite Uber girls. So, you create a paypal account, and I'll give you a 15 cents (just incase you drink more than I do) for every sip'o'spirit you take!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:33:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm too drunk to understnad this post- comedy sex videos dollar bills? I'm sure it is brilliant +2.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-06-04 18:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoops......
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67544