I Won! (1084 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.41 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lojope <lojope.at.juno.com> (View user info) at 2005-05-09 09:32:10 EDT
So every year on Mother's Day, my church does this goofy.... "Mommy Superlative" thing... where they give out flowers to like, for example... The mom with the most kids, The grandma with the most grandkids, The oldest mom... etc etc.
It's kinda dorky, but kinda cute, especially when the little old lady with over a hundred grandkids hobbles up to get her flowers grinning bigger than the wing-span of the giant cross on the wall.
Anyway, today, I got flowers for "winning" the Youngest Mother category. Apparently there is no one else under 25 with a kid.
The youngest.
Think about that.
A church, mostly comprised of people who believe that premarital sex is a sin, awarding the youngest mother a present. Granted, I'm 21, some people are married and breeding the holy way by now, but what if there's been an unwed teenage mom of 3 (all from different dads of course) in the crowd? She'd have been the youngest mother, so technically should have "won" the flowers.... but what kind of message does that send?
"Congratulations! You're the sluttiest girl in church today! Way to go!"
Guess it doesn't matter that much, since that title is now mine.
Back off, little teenage whore, the position has been filled! *I'M* the sluttiest girl in MY church - you go find your own house of God to corrupt!
User Reviews
Submitted by Ayato (user info) at 2005-05-19 22:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Virgin Mary had premarital sex.
Had herself a Jesus.
;-)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Darn... I knew there was somthing wrong with my parenting. Poor kid..it's not her fault I'm cool..
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:36:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:37:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Think of it this way; when your little guy is graduating high school, you'll still be in your '30s, and you will be one of the "cool parents".
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On a serious note, all my friends in high school whos parents were in their mid thirties were fucked up.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-05-09 16:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:02:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
In Soviet Ubersite, the peener HAR HAR's YOU!
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hahaha
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-05-09 13:30:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Herb: All born in wedlock?
Homer: Yeah, though the boy was a close call.
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-05-09 13:01:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They should give out one for "Most Convincing Story" to whoever has the kid that least looks like her husband.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-05-09 12:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha yay sluts.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-05-09 11:03:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to go?
Don't worry. Marry wasn't married when she got pregnant either. It's all good with Big Poppa.
Submitted by Mario (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a kid? How about that shit....
<shrug>
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:49:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"wow, you rarely hear the argument FOR teen pregnancy.."
- some sitcom I watched last night
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good for you!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Myself included.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:36:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:37:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Think of it this way; when your little guy is graduating high school, you'll still be in your '30s, and you will be one of the "cool parents".
==============================
On a serious note, all my friends in high school whos parents were in their mid thirties were fucked up.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I want to see a nude of Sarah Silverman.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:30:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shoulda had a picture of sandy from saving silverman. she's hot.
Submitted by ihurtFeellings (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"A church, mostly comprised of people who believe that premarital sex is a sin[...]"
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Weird, never heard of a church with those kind of beliefs... Where would people get that idea?
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In Soviet Ubersite, the peener HAR HAR's YOU!
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I would get something for Mother's Day.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:45:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
something to be proud of..
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA my sister said that her church changed that to the mom with the youngest kid because it was sending a "message" to the young girls in the church that they should go out and have a kid.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:40:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:37:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Think of it this way; when your little guy is graduating high school, you'll still be in your '30s, and you will be one of the "cool parents".
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yeah, you can date his friends.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:38:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well done. (do you congratulate people for being the sluttiest in church?)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:37:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Think of it this way; when your little guy is graduating high school, you'll still be in your '30s, and you will be one of the "cool parents".
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:37:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think that the fact that a church can give an honour of any kind to a young unwed mother is a cause for celebration. Not too long ago you would have been spat on for daring to enter God's house.
Submitted by Bellebrown (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now THAT is funny.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:36:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congratulations
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:32:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That should say "yesterday" not "today"