Mother fucking fucker fuck!! GAH !)$#&*^!_! (2115 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.62 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Siren© (View user info) at 2005-05-04 02:37:29 EDT
I have to write this, or a guest in my hotel will be murdered by my bare hands. If a man is found dead in room 725 of the Marriott Courtyard in Baltimore Md in the next day, Holly Taylor did it. Know that she first tried to write about the incident to alleviate the anger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1:10am- Siren has to pee. Security guard watches the front desk.
1:14am- Siren returns from urination and phone is ringing. Guard is not allowed to answer phone.
"Front desk, how may I help you?" I ask fake and chipperly.
"I'm trying to get a wakeup call and have been calling for 15 minutes!!!" The prick was obviously upset.
"I'm sorry sir, I-"
"I think you were sound asleep on the job, is what I think!!!"
"No, actually I-"
"I already called your corporate headquarters and told them I couldn't get a God damn answer at your hotel, and will be contacting your supervisor!!!"
"Excuse me?" Severely less chipper. If there's one thing I hate, it's being insulted by our guests over the phone. Walk your erectile disfuncional, L.L. Bean pj wearing ass down here and do it to my face.
"Give me a wakeup at 6:30" he demanded, and hung up.
Check. I put a wakeup for Mr. Jerkoff in the computer for 6:30PM. Hey, he didn't specify morning or evening. Not my problem. And just to make sure I got the time correct, I waited a few minutes for the corporate tight-hole to crawl into his bed, and gave him a call back.
"Yes?" he answered, knowing it was me.
"I just wanted to make sure that you said 6:30 for that wakeup call. I was a little shaken at the time."
"Yes, 6:30," he sounded a bit irritated.
"Alright, thank you and have a pleasant night!" I said over exaggeratedly chipper.
30 seconds later I got a call.
"Front desk, how may I help you?"
"I knew once you woke up from behind the desk, you'd have to call me back."
"You mother f-" click. He hung up on me.
So, now there is nothing left for me to do to him for revenge without being fired or arrested. I'm pushing it as it is. Maybe I brought it on myself. Maybe I was too harsh with him. This is by far not the worst guest I've had, but he has nearly sent me over the Cliffs of Insanity. (Bonus points if you can place the reference). There is nothing I can do. I have to just take it. And here's what I have to say about that.
YOU CUNT OF A MAN. I HOPE I FUCKING MEET YOU ON THE STREET, YOU MIDDLE CLASS, HIGH FALUTIN' RETARD BITCH!!! YOUR SPA TREATED FACE WILL MEET MY RAGE IN THE FORM OF A STEEL TOED WORK BOOT. I HAVE YOUR ADDRESS AND PHONENUMBER, DUMBASS!!! NEXT TIME, THINK ABOUT PISSING OFF A DISGRUNTLED NIGHT SHIFT WORKER. I HOPE YOUR STOCKS PLUMMET INTO HELL SO YOU CAN MEET THEM THERE AND BURN TOGETHER!!! SUCK MY ASSHOLE, YOU WORTHLESS FUCKING PUSSY FUCK! I HOPE WHEN YOU JERK OFF TO THE GAY HOTEL PORN, YOU CUM UP YOUR NOSE AND YOU DROWN, DYING, WITH VISIONS OF ME TORTURING YOUR PRIVATES WITH MICE AND BATTERY ACID.
Since this rant required no thought, here's a picture I drew with MS paint last week when our internet was down. The smiley face hill guy didn't poo, it's supposed to be a toadstool ring.
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-05-09 10:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good rant, for some reason I like hearing your hotel stories.
Submitted by mysterious.adventure (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I had no idea there were this many Uberers in MD. I live up in Hagerstown.
+1 for MD uberers +1 cause customers suck! = +2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-05-09 09:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's people like that who have made me the bitter, bitter woman that I am today.
Looks like you're well on your way.
Submitted by QueenSkye (user info) at 2005-05-05 03:17:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
princess bride, just watched it yesterday
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-05-05 03:05:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post made me want to fight. thanks!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-05 01:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SOooooo, how did this end up?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-05-04 17:19:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You have many options to choose from \/
Submitted by garcon_fou (user info) at 2005-05-04 16:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey- I'm in Baltimore right now! If he keeps being obnoxious, call for uber-backup...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-05-04 16:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2005-05-04 14:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice rant at the end......some folks out there just don't get it......
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-05-04 13:54:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you work at the big one in the Inner Harbor?
You guys almost kicked us out during a freind of mines bachelor party. Luckily one of your assitant managers took pity on the poor guy for geeting married the next day.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-04 13:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pesky jobs.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-05-04 13:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because the picture reminds me of that McDonald's video game I had for NES when I was in kindergarten.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-05-04 13:10:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice rant
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-05-04 12:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Princess Bride... could anyone NOT know that?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-04 12:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This sounds like we could have a "Uber: Firing Number 2", on the schedule.
Submitted by 360_Modena (user info) at 2005-05-04 12:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 DIE bitch
Submitted by lokisince89 (user info) at 2005-05-04 12:31:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you need help with these people, i work in downtown balmer about 6 blocks away.
This city seems to get the cream of the douche visiting.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-05-04 10:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If it makes you feel better, people like that are their own worst enemy. My guess is that he just had his ass fed to him by his boss or a client or someone and since he couldn't do anything about it, he decided to take it out on you because he's a spineless coward and knew that you couldn't retaliate. I'm sure he is living a miserable existence. Think about it this way, he made you miserable and you didn't even see him face to face. Just imagine the river of shit he lives in on a daily basis.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-05-04 10:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-05-04 10:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
princess bride
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-04 09:56:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 07:59:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren, sweetie, let raddy make it all better.
I know how to make a guy beg for death.
-=-=-=-=-==--=-=-=-=-=
Oh god! You know Jewish songs, don't you?!
By the way Siren, you're starting to scare me a tad. Good to see you're not a pushover though and you did the AM/PM switch. Clever girl.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-05-04 09:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-04 09:21:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT sent you over the edge? You must have had a very sheltered life
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2005-05-04 09:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I work in the same industry - I feel your pain.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-05-04 09:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your job is customer service, no?
you're supposed to putup with that kind of stff
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-05-04 09:21:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
THAT sent you over the edge? You must have had a very sheltered life.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-05-04 08:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Such a beautiful mouth to be spewing such profanities.
Mmmmmmmmm.... Yummy
Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-05-04 08:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a jerk.
Reminds me of someone I know.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 07:59:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren, sweetie, let raddy make it all better.
I know how to make a guy beg for death.
Submitted by VodkaFace (user info) at 2005-05-04 07:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cliffs of Insanity = The Princess Bride
Excellent post. I understand how you feel, I encounter so many unbalanced fucks on a daily basis that if there were an unbalanced fuck hunting season, I would run out of ammo before lunch on the first day.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-05-04 07:31:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hopefully this soothing +2 will ease the pain...
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-04 07:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're kidding! No fucking way!
Are you sure he's not doing that kind of thing for kicks?
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-04 07:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't you know this FUCKING BASTARD called down at 6:01 and said, "Thanks for my 6:00 am wakeup call!!!!"
WTF, man?!?!?!?! 6:00????
Christ!!!!
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-05-04 05:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sadly no...until the ski season (which just ended) starts up again, there's no one. No security, no houseperson, nothing. Just me and me alone...babysitting 300+ bus-tour-seniors. It sucks. If this website wasn't here to keep me occupied I think I'd go crazy and run myself over repeatedly with a bell cart in the lobby.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-04 05:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yay!!! Ducky is with me!!! Are you all alone like me? Do you have an annoying security guard that pesters you with personal stories you couldn't care any less about? It's just me and her. That's it.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-05-04 05:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You work night audit at a hotel too???! Awesome. I'm really glad I'm not alone. Check this though. If I want to pee, I have to forward the phone to the cell and take it with me...that sucks. No one will call down for hours, and then...gaaaa. I swear they time it. Like they know or something, and wanted to wait until I'd just begun peeing before asking for an extra fucking pillow.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-05-04 04:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you kill him, you have to eat him.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:48:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn, I thought all that wake-up call stuff was automated these days. Meh, I always travel with an alarm clock anyway.
Bonus points for the Princess Bride reference...
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaw man, that's pretty crappy lass. I wish I knew what to say.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:18:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I call and pretend to be a telemarketer for Pro-long? I won't mention you.
"Someone has recommended you as a customer, Mr. _________. They assumed you have a millimeter peter, since you're a fucking douche bag to everyone you come in contact with. These behaviors have been attributed to (for lack of a better term) men with miniscule meat missiles."
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, forgot to comment on your post. It sucks that people get away with this behaviour and we just have to grin and bear it. I work at an advertising agency and our main client is such a difficult cunt that for once, I'd love to tell them all to fuck themselves hard, and that fucking Rhonda (head of that company), with her stripper boots and clown lipstick, should fucking commit suicide off the Burj for being such an ugly/fat/fucking cunt. But if I did, I'd be fired. Man, work is bullshit.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren, I'm sorry. I was only irate because come 6:30 my colostomy bag is pretty fucking full. Hell, it's your linen - come to think of it some type of catheter arrangement might sort your bladder issues whilst on duty...
... I'm only trying to help.
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Cliffs of Insanity is where we pushed my 11th grade math teacher off of. I always used to say he was standing on the edge and we pushed him a little more each day. The summer after that class he was put in a mental institute and I knew we'd pushed him over the edge. Poor Mr.Clark. I'm sure he's fine now.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:12:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not if you're going to 0 my post there, Herpster. Actually, sure go ahead and call me. I really don't care what happens to this man. If it costs me my job, at least I'll have the freedom to kick his ass on site. It's not like they can fire me again. Yeah, I get away with a lot here though. Mostly I think it's because they can't find anyone else who will do the night shift 6 nights a week. It's good to be Queen.
Submitted by CLAIRE1 (user info) at 2005-05-04 03:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O.K. This is easy.
Just set his wake up call for 6:30... In the evening. And if they bitch at you, just say you even called to reaffirm his request. He misses his flight and hopefully gets fired. You might have to put him up another night but just use a sick day.
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel your pain. Customer service is such bullshit. Here's something I've learned over the years... If you're intelligent and do your shitty job well 98% of the time, that other 2% you can do whatever the fuck you want and get away with it. Throw shit in people's faces, threaten them, whatever, just always make sure your employers only see the hard, quality work you do the majority of the time. That's your out if anyone every complains.
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:55:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So all I have to do, is call the Marriott in Baltimore, and ask for this guys room number, and you'll connect me?
This sounds too good.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice little rant at the bottom there.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that goatse?
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
thorpe- Yeah. What a slow thinking retard. I was even going to put something about that in here, but I forgot. I had it in the first time I wrote it.
That's right. This was the SECOND time I had to write this friggin' post. I lost the first one entirely because of my stupidity. You can imagine how much more pissed I was when that happened. Unfortunately, this one came out much more gentle. The other one rocked. Hard.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:47:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just don't tell anyone and we should be cool.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You give me personal info of your asshole clients, I commit the mail fraud and identity theft, then I'll kick you a percentage.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He rang you back to tell you that he knew you'd have to call back????
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:45:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Believe me, I'd love to do it myself. But, if he's dead some other mysterious way, I won't complain.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:45:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unless you want to form a partership in crime.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then you can do it.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unless you are into the whole crime thing.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-04 02:44:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Email me his info.
I will take care of the rest.