The Best Thingh You Will Ever Read (1026 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <DISTURBEDNAKEDCHILD.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-24 10:12:49 EDT
i have come up with a new movie concept.
Canine O Sapien
My movie will star Hugh Grant as a timid yet charmingly humorous bachelor and Julia Roberts as the anorexic redhead who is strikingly grotesque and redheaded.
scene 1
Hugh Grant is violently fornicating with his best friend Gordon. Gordon is a white and brown jack russel terrier with deep brown eyes and a mischevious grin. dogs grin.
They are in the middle of the road acting out their wild lust for all to witness and just as Gordon reaches a howling climax he hears the sound of screeching redheaded vehicles.
Julia Roberts cadilac eldorado collides with the two lovers at cataclysmic speeds resulting in the fatal cock smearing of Gordon. (The dog)
Luckilly for Hugh Grant, Gordons enormous animal penis absorbed the impact of the mighty cadilac and formed a doggy genitalia cacoon around Hugh's frail english body.
Julia Roberts leaps out of her car wearing nothing except a pair of gumboots and a love heart shaved into her chest hair, she sees the smeared corpse of poor old Gordon and hastilly gathers up his severed genital remnats.
Hugh - free from the overwhelming weight of Gordons member - picks himself off the ground and says "hello - im a charming shy english bachelor"
Julia is instantly seduced by Hughs boyish grin and offers to lure him back to her sinister riverside bungalo.
"thank god you stopped julia roberts - it appears that my genitals became entertwined with Gordons innards as his tiny body was pulverised by your vehicle - it would seem that i need a band aid." (cue boyish grin)
Scene 2 - back at the bungalo
"heres a band aid - your penis sure looks bloody... are you sure your alright?"
Hugh gratefully accepts the band aid and grins (boyishly) before proceeding to extract fragments of poor Gordons vertebrae from his swollen member. It is hard for him to find the wounds beneath gordons twisted carcass so he feels it wise to attempt to remove the slimy remnants.
Julia Roberts watches Hugh attempt to relieve himself from this comical predicament and begins to sweat as she thinks of the enormous severed dogs member she stealthed within her left gumboot.
Just as Hughs genitals are in mid-plaster Julias gumboot splits at the seem from the sheer weight of Gordons disembodied blood sausage and the enormous dogs cock hits the ground with a mighty thud...
(awkward silence)
Scene 3 - the betrayal
Julia leaps into action and immediately begins to bludgeon Hugh to death with the mangled appendage - Hugh desperately tries to fight back but is overwhelmed as Julias red pubic hair entwines around his body and begins constricting the life out of him like some giant, red, monsterous python.
Blood soakes Hughs face and hair as the penis continues to beat him beyond recognition - the last thing he sees before he grins his last boyish grin is the wind whistling through Julias chest hair love heart and he thinks to himself "i have the widest acting range possible - today the world looses the man with the widest acting range".
Julia is sitting upon Hughs lifeless form and gasping in exhaustion - she leans back and lowers the Hugh-soaked appendage to the floor with a twinkle of lust in her eye...
Scene 4 - Julia and the dead dog penis
The penis - now stiffening up from the rigor-mortis - stands without aid as Julia slams her enormous red pubis over it. The severed dogs penis is exquisite inside her decrepit red vagina as the hair and bone fragments from Hughs skull still plaster it and act as organic love beads.
Little does she know, she is going to become inpregnated by Gordons doggy penis as it still contains all sorts of doggy sperm.
The doggy sperm navigates its way to her unsuspecting ovum and proceeds to impregnate her with unusual doglike hybrids.
What science thought was impossible has now become a reality...
Scene 5 - 9 months later
As Julias haggard red lips part a canine squeal echoes within the hospital. The first hybrid has been spawned.
"show me my baby" she cries as she is restrained upon her birthing bed... her enormous swollen belly contains more hybrids and they squirm frantically within her heaving gut.
As she looks into her first-borns deep brown doggy eyes she notices his doggy snout and lengthened tail bone wagging excitedly and flailing after birth slime and mucous upon her swollen teets.
She considers how lucky she is to have concieved such an attractive family. A single tear rolls down her weathered cheek.
The final 3 dog hybrids are expelled and her litter is complete - the bloody innards trail from her genitals as the docter slices the first fur covered umbilicle cord.
Scene 6 - happy family
The hybrids look like people but also a bit like dogs at the same time.
THE END
coming soon to a theatre near you!
User Reviews
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-09-16 12:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you crack my shit up.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-04-25 10:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:38:35 (#)
Ranking: -1
I hated this, but it did involve the violent death of Hugh Grant, so no -2 for you.
Submitted by Evil_Morg (user info) at 2005-04-24 12:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its been done
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-04-24 11:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RIIIIIIIIGHT.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed and laughed and laughed. (cute boyish grin)
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I hated this, but it did involve the violent death of Hugh Grant, so no -2 for you.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gross.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:32:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Would have been much funnier without all the genitalia.
(I never thought I'd be able to say that to anything).
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:21:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant would read this.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-24 10:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well it did