Fwd: Fwd: Fact of the matter (818 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.75 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Oscar <quatatoe_king.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-04-11 22:05:08 EDT
Fact of the matter...
> Some of these have been done here, some of them haven't.
>
> The fact of the matter is, I live to be edumicational, so enjoy!
>
>
>> Submitted by Sphagnum [Authenticated] (View user info) at 2005-04-11 11:42:49
>>
>> Some of these have been done here, some of them haven't.
>>
>> The fact of the matter is, I live to be educational so enjoy!
>>
>> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
>> A gold dubloon can purchase a yak in most asian countries.
>>
>> A cat has 32 muscles in each anus.
>>
>> A crocodile can stick out its tongue, but only at Steve Irving.
>>
>> A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours, just enough time to grow up, go through school,
>> get married, have kids, get diagnosed with prostate cancer, and live to see one
>> of its grandchildren born, then die.
>>
>> A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds, but it remembers the last time you raped it.
>>
>> A "decisecond" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second, Learn the metric system.
>>
>> A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes, most fish don't have eyelids, only
>> nictatating membranes.
>> Counting lawyers in the above category, They can blink with both eyes, but watchout! It means
>> they already have your wallet.
>>
>> A snail can sleep for three years.
>>
>> Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. And he was.
>>
>> Almonds are a member of the possum family.
>>
>> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain, explaining all the bizzare behaviour, like the
>> sticking of the head in sand.
>>
>> Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child
>> reaches 2 to 6 years of age.
>>
>> Butterflies taste with their feet, and see with their ears.
>>
>> Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10. Some humans have also been
>> reported to only make one sound, "uhhnngg."
>>
>> February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full
>> moon, those looking for it, found it however.
>>
>> In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated. Some on the other hand have
>> gone through the entire domestication cycle numerous times, The black man,
>> The Yellow man, The Brown man, ect. Currently the "Working man" is enslaved, as a
>> domesticated animal he is quite good at menial labours.
>>
>> It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Your brain would fly out of your eye
>> sockets if you didn't close them.
>>
>> Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors, and was the first to cut his member trimming his
>> pubes with it.
>>
>> No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or
>> purple. Try rhyming Ethiopan bush speech, "Clickgub-do,
>> dong-clit-clak-phbbbtsdodo-it-ololyoxenfree!"
>>
>> On a American two dollar bill, the flag flying over the White house is Burning, because 1812 was
>> a good year.
>>
>> Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never
>> stop growing, too bad penii don't grow forever.
>>
>> Condoms last longer when refrigerated, just wash and put up in the cooler.
>>
>> The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a
>> chocolate bar melted in his pocket. This researcher patented a process whereby Chocolate would
>> "Melt in the mouth, not in the hand".
>>
>> The sentence: "abcdegklnoprstz" uses all the letters of the latin alphabet.
>>
>> The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
>>
>> There is one way to make change for a dollar, and it involves lapdances.
>>
>> There are more chickens than people in the world, Of those people, many were described as chicken
>> by their close family and relatives.
>>
>> There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
>>
>> Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur, they taste like chicken too.
>>
>> Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. When asked about the experience he
>> replied, "Fucking feminists, they tried to cut off my penis."
>>
>> Women blink nearly twice as much as men, they are surprised when asking their male partners,
>> "Whatcha' thinking about" and get a reply of, "fucking you"
>>
>> Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks;
>> otherwise it will digest itself.
User Reviews
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-04-13 18:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
B@W!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-04-13 12:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I did pay you the courtesy of reading it.
Not one fucking point made me laugh!!!
This had the potential to be quite funny and then you went and fucked it up!
Please don't ever do a parody again... PLEASE!
Submitted by Oscar (user info) at 2005-04-12 16:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish you guys would just read this,
i didnt forward it you morons.
i fixed up the previous "The fact of the matter..." post to make it seem like another forward, but i changed all the insided information.
go read it again
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-04-12 09:06:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You sir, are a fucking idiot.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-04-12 05:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh... Oh jesus... You ACTUALLY posted a forwarded message...
I want to kill you.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-04-12 04:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hardly makes it a kicker of all ass, no?
Unless purile shite kicks all ass in your little world...
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-04-12 02:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
" It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Your brain would fly out of your eye
>> sockets if you didn't close them."
Sorry...I found this amusing.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-12 01:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-12 01:15:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
awful
-=-=-=-=-=--=
hahahahaha. Ironic; this is what the original uber was like.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-04-12 01:15:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
awful
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-04-12 00:41:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:47:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Re: I fucking hate you.
================================================================
Funnier than death.
Submitted by PoTtY (user info) at 2005-04-11 23:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A cat has 32 muscles in each anus.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-11 23:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What's sadder? I read this or someone wrote it?
Submitted by Herman (user info) at 2005-04-11 23:04:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
heres a tip.
take out all the words in this, and replace them with new ones.
thanks mitch for that line of genious.
Submitted by Suriyawong (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:56:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Man I read this since I was high, and I've got to tell you, its a steaming pile of monkey shit.
If you want to make it up to me there are two things you can do.
1. Replace the joint that i smoked.
2. Kill yourself.
Thanks and have a nice day.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:47:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Re: I fucking hate you.
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're not even worth insulting.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:33:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
...then why?
Submitted by euripidestrousers (user info) at 2005-04-11 22:22:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ack, ack, ack! Ghastly non-original content which can be trawled from elsewhere.