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What Used to be a Quiet Life IV (565 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 2 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
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Submitted by Walrus_King <jamespeddle.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-24 11:08:34 EST


For Review - http://www.ubersite.com/m/62521

Cain and I sat for a while longer chatting about the general plan. All sorts of ideas had come up including walkie talkies, old battered up cars bought from the scrap yard for £50 (no questions asked) and blowing shit up. He sounded genuinely excited by the whole idea, this itself concerned me.

You see Cain wasn't a big lad, don't get me wrong he's 6 foot but he's thin and wirery, he's a house breaker by nature and by profession and I've never seen him fight. Now I think about it he's a pretty lousy house breaker, either that or he wasn't as cautious because it was my flat. When you become a porter you know that you are going to have to take a dead body down to the morgue at some point or another. The question is are you going to be freaked out by the sight of a dead body? When a new porter starts he will either ask when he's going to move a body or he'll just get on with his job. On the day the new porter is called to move the body he will either be excitable or acceptant. The excitable ones are the nervous ones, I've even known a couple to throw up. Now I work in IT, I just worked in the hospital for a while to make myself some drink money between jobs.

I was still deep in thought, I was asking myself why the hell was I getting involved in all this. She is my ex after all. Would I do this for any woman? I never really though of myself as some great defender of women.

"Do you fancy a game of pool" Cain interrupted my thought process

"Yeah sure" Maybe a game of pool would take the edge off of everything. I looked over at the car parked outside again, still checking that it was okay. I decided that we would only play the one game, the closer you leave it to leaving at 11 from a pub the more chance you have of getting pulled over. As I was under the limit this wasn't too much of a problem. My distinct lack of drivers license however was.

"So Cain, are you sure that your up for this" I asked hoping that he might be deadly silent for a second, contemplating the answer and telling me 'No James but we'll see what we can do' I wanted some reassurance that he wasn't so cock sure of himself and that he might just be the right person for the job, having said that I didn't really have that much of a choice.

"Yeah no problems, he's a big lad and everything and his mates are bigger but I'm sure we'll be okay" Well there was slight doubt in his answer but it was still too positive for me.

All the time we were having this conversation we were starting a game of pool. All of a sudden two rather large blokes came over.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" the larger of the 2 asked.

"Ermm, we're playing a game of pool" Cain was brave enough to answer in a rather sarcastic tone.

"We were next" The other one quickly countered.

"Oh, I do apologise there was no marker on the table so we figured that it was ok to play. We'll just finish this game and then we'll make sure that no one else has the table before you" I tried to explain to them but they didn't want to listen.

"No we'll have this game!" The brute continued, I patted the left hand side of my jacket hoping for some reassurance from my half pool cue which I always keep with me. There was no such luck I hadn't brought it out of the car. I put the pool cue that I was playing with leaning against the table.

"What are you talking about! Firstly we paid for this game, secondly I've already potted 2 of the balls and thirdly we're not bad players the time that we have been talking we could have probably finished this game" I could see this turning into a row very quickly.

"Listen here you little scrote muncher..."

"Hey if we're going to resort to name calling maybe he should call you a fat drunkard that looks like he's just come out of prison for eating his family" I didn't really have enough time to point out to Cain that saying things like that to this huge bloke probably wasn't the best of ideas before he turned and punched Cain straight in the jaw landing him nicely on the floor. The bloke I was arguing with turned to hit me, luckily I ducked. His fists looked the size of my face. I kicked the pool cue I had left leaning up against the pool table with the sole of my foot splintering it where the two parts join together, leaving me with the thick half and a small sharp piece of the thin half. Quickly I spun the pool cue in my hand and whacked the drunken ogre around the head with it. And again, and again until he finally hit the floor. I thought this might serve as a warning to the other bloke.

Cain stood up at this point and dusted himself off, seeing the bloke I was arguing with lying on the floor he ran in to kick him in the face. Once again this wasn't probably the best of moves as he was hit around the back of the head with the thick end of a full length pool cue. As Cain fell into a crumpled mess on the floor the bloke that hit him walked towards me. I see why the henchman is always the silent one. It's so you underestimate him. The mouthy one is always the one that causes the trouble. The bloke who just stands in the corner waiting for the trouble to kick off is the one to watch out for. To top it all off his pool cue had a longer reach than mine. I put my half-pool cue over my face to protect myself from any cue hits and charged him, the pair of us toppled over Cain lying on the floor I then proceeded to repetitively punch lardarse in the face.

Well at least Cain was useful for something. Jane the land-lady came over;

"I think you had better take you next two beers to go" she smiled

"You know Jane, I think you could be right there" I said as I got off the floor, the dazed and confused bodies on the floor were all beginning to move at this point. I went over to Cain and tried to hurry up his rebooting process. When he stirred I walked him outside.

"You know what we were talking about earlier?" I asked

"What you mean this whole Julian thing?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking and I think that I should do it myself" I didn't really want to do it myself but I had just seen Cain get knocked out twice in as many minutes, and that was just a bar room brawl. What if he was caught completely by surprised? What if one of them had a knife or even worse a gun?

"Oh.... okay then" Cain said as I started to walk towards the car.

"James!" He called after me.

"About what happened in there, I'm sorry it won't happen again. I know that you need to get this thing sorted and I know that you're going to need help with it. So I would still like to be there with you? I'll grab my mates as well"

"Come on then, get in the car"

It looked like Cain had been taken down a couple of pegs this could be a good thing really. Besides I did need him there, even if he was a lousy fighter I was never going to be able to do this by myself, I needed his friends help. As I thought about this the two blokes came busting out of the pub doors as they did Cain and I jumped into the car shit-hot-quick. Checking that the car was out of gear I put the keys in the ignition I had my foot down on the floor and I was waiting for the glow-plug light to go out.

"Fucking Diesels!!" The second the light went out I turned the engine over and dumped the clutch sending us wheel spinning away from our would be attackers.

Shit, I never did get them beers form the land-lady.


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User Reviews


Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-03-29 17:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

yep. still good.

Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-25 04:07:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

This story sure as heck isn't slowing down any... keep mailing em to me, and I'll keep reading them.

Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:32:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-24 12:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by snarf (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:20:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Smoothe (user info) at 2005-03-24 11:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

keep it coming



Our lives are in the hands of men no smarter than you or I. Many of
them incompetent boobs. I know this because I've worked alongside
them, gone bowling with them, watched them pass me over for promotions
time and again and I say this stinks.

-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Odyssey