Valentine's Day means different things to everyone (522 hits)
Category: Romanceno reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by El_Wizardo (View user info) at 2005-02-14 19:00:18 EST
It was only me and him. It had been that way for a while, but it wasn't something that you could really get used to. It was something that touched our lives everyday. It touched us in the little ways, the things we ate, the places we went, the conversations we had. It had been four years ago.
Four long, tired years.
He was truly the only reason that I am still alive. I broke down after it happened. Don't ask me what happened for three months. Luckily, he was old enough to be able to be looked after by others. The only thing that would keep me from ending it was him. His smile, his laugh. It brought my back from the brink of sanity. He was the only thing since her that I loved more then my life.
My life was a burden and he was my blessing. So I kept on living out of habit.
Valentine's day means everything to everyone. For some it's a day of love, where magic and mystery comes together for a sample of ecstasy. For some, it's the bitter sting of rejection. For others, it is a day created by marketing and served to us in a neat little package.
For me, it was a funeral.
Not the kind of funeral that you have to get dressed up for because so and so's cousin died. It wasn't a funeral that you went to the graveyard for, saying how you missed them with a little sad look and moved on. This was the kind of funeral that stops your heart and punches you in the gut. It's the kind of funeral that makes the world cease spinning for just a second, enough to lift you up and slam you to the ground with bone-crunching force.
This was the Valentine's day that I would tell him the truth.
"Why isn't mommy here anymore daddy?"
What could I say? He had never asked before. He had no reason. He had scores of aunts and uncles who spoiled him mercilessly. He had been too young to remember that Valentine's day. He was too old now to hide it.
"Mommy's in heaven... She went there when you were very little."
He didn't say anything. He got up and walked to his room. I didn't expect that. I expected tears, I expected questions. But the silent acceptance startled me. I still didn't accept it sometimes. I half expected her to walk through the door with a dozen roses and an apology for missing the last four years of her life.
I decided to see if he was ok. I didn't know what I could do, I was a wreck most of the time anyway. I did my best to hide it, but I think he knew. He was a great kid, as smart as his mom had been. If I could track down the drunk, I would extract four years of his life from him.
His door was cracked open a little bit, so I peeked inside.
He was standing on his tippy-toes, pinning something above his bed. I walked in quietly and saw that he had created something so heart-stoppingly beautiful and sincere that all the works of art that had ever been created, from Leonardo, Van Gogh and on down the line were put to shame...
In large black lettering on red construction paper, surrounded by drawn angels sat these words:
"I Love you Mommy Happy Valentine's day
-Love,
Spencer."
All I could do was hold him while I cried for the first time since that Valentine's day four years ago. He had helped me come back from the brink again. Valentine's day means a lot to different people. For me and him, it's a celebration of someone's life.
I love you Falon.
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