Ubersite is Hazardous to Your Health (708 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.65 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Andrew Montanaro <beefstick86.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-10 02:05:34 EST
Yes, I know, the title is a bit hit-whorish, but seriously, it is.
And you dare question my knowledge on the subject?
Well, here is my proof:
Here I am, at 1:40 in the morning, on my computer, watching shitty ass television as I try to come up with a basis for my argument. Isn't it quite obvious though? ITS 1:40 FRICKIN AM!
Sleep deprivation is a serious health problem. If it weren't for Ubersite calling my name, I would be peacefully resting in bed dreaming about sexy brunnettes naked. Ubersite will be my downfall in life. I know this to be true, and yet I cannot help it.
Even knowing that I have to be up around 7 to eat breakfast, shower, and study my ass off for my 3 midterms this week before I go to lab. Instead of being here, writing you a post on how my health has deteriorated because of Ubersite, I could even be reading the continuous string of citations that is "The Health of Nations" for Sociology class. I could possibly be writing my lab report that is due at 8am. I could even go so far as to say I might be studying my multivariate calculus. But no, I would rather sit here and write to you, because I am addicted.
Even if I didn't study instead of being on Uber, at least I'd be resting getting ready to study tomorrow, when I'll really be taking naps now.
I am addicted. I have a problem. I am admitting this. This is the first step to recovery. Then again, do I really want to recover...
Considering that I'm paying nearly $30,000 right now to attend a prestigious private university, I should be saying, "Yes, yes I do." Instead, I'll settle with my 85 cumulative GPA. You may be thinking, "An 85? And you're complaining about your grades falling? I'd have killed for an 85 average in college!" Well... You see... Most students here get at least a 90. So that means that I'm below average when it comes to academics.
AND I'M BLAMING THIS ON YOU!!! YES, ALL YOU WONDERFUL ARTISTS, AUTHORS, AND HITWHORES THAT ABSORB OH SO MUCH OF MY PRECIOUS TIME!!!
But that's okay. I even find myself using some of the writing here as arguments when it comes to my humanities and sociology classes. We'll start discussing the deterioration of American society as a whole. And all that I'll talk about is how the white trash pop singer Britney Spears walks out onto her deck stark naked with the freshly fucked look on her face. Then when people look at me... PWNED!!! Warcraft is a great game...
Not to mention everytime there is a nipple slip or upskirt view of some chick, I whisper to my friends, "That's an NSFW, no doubt." They just look at me...
In conclusion, I would just like to thank you for destroying what little sanity I originally had...
User Reviews
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-10 11:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
perfect no longer HAAAHA
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-10 10:15:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a dream about Uber last night.
Actually, it was more like a nightmare.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-02-10 09:53:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty good at unplugging... unless I've recently posted something. Then it's like meth.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-10 09:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just to fuck with your "average", ya tool.
Submitted by drfeggphd (user info) at 2005-02-10 08:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-10 08:27:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If it wasn't for my license being suspended, I'd probably only be on at work.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-10 08:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i also called my mom one time and when she answered the phone all i said was "what the hell man, if they are comin at you, means they want somethin....."
then i hung up.
my family hates me.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-10 08:25:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
after this post alone: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57943
nobody should question the effect it has on me.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-10 08:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I use "-2 DIE" in conversation frequently. Also, I have the "shiny stoat" from Dervel's post http://www.ubersite.com/m/51668 as my desktop background at work. I spend way too much time on here.
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-02-10 07:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All too true
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2005-02-10 07:22:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-10 04:42:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
I find myself screaming "MINUS TWO, DIE, FUCKER" out of my car window at errant drivers.
On a regular basis.
..........................................
I have used ATTN GHEY MENZ in a text message to one of my friends and used ROFLcopter in a conversation once. It didn't go down very well.
They all think I'm weird anyway for being hooked to an internet site. I have managed to get the word 'Asshat' into semi-frequent usage though and every time I visit my parents in Liverpool I imagine everyone looks like Apollo. I try to listen out for cries of '<ejaculates>' but it never happens.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-10 07:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yup
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-02-10 06:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-10 05:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-02-10 02:08:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I spend too much time on Uber and I'm getting out of college in three years with an A average.
No excuses, bitches.
===============================
Yeah, but you're 34 years old.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-10 04:42:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I find myself screaming "MINUS TWO, DIE, FUCKER" out of my car window at errant drivers.
On a regular basis.
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-02-10 04:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I believe it's dangerous. Sometimes I sit in front of the computer and fall into a trance, and I can't hear or feel anything, except for the tingling sensation of my tissues being ionized, and all the stored heavy metals seeping into my bloodstream.
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-10 02:44:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, I started smoking crack when I was 8 and I never looked back.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-02-10 02:24:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just wait until you are telling funny stories with someone then you tell them a story that happened to your "friend" when it was really Tom or JMG or Comicbookguy; when you use Uberwords in everyday conversation; when you find yourself in a situation that could go wrong when you think "if I do this, it would make a great post"; and you know you're fucked when you start dreaming about Uber. http://www.ubersite.com/m/57603
Run, run far the fuck away.
Banga
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-10 02:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
User id: 4891
Registered on or around: 2004-01-13 16:48:18
# Messages posted: 40
# Reviews written: 110
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 417
# Hits: 13404
Average rating of all messages: -0.02
You think you're addicted???
Submitted by Patheticus (user info) at 2005-02-10 02:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I get more done when I read Uber. Fuck you.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-02-10 02:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I spend too much time on Uber and I'm getting out of college in three years with an A average.
No excuses, bitches.