Average Rating of All Posts : -0.05 (NSFW) (662 hits)
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Submitted by Andrew Montanaro <beefstick86.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-08 17:33:15 EST
It's interesting isn't it? You may be asking yourself, "What the hell is this freak talking about?" That's alright; you're probably not the only one.
Let me explain.
I think that this figure is actually misleading. It takes the overall rating of each post and adds them together and divides them by the number of posts. Now, you might be asking, "Isn't that the definition of an average?"
Well, you are right. However, what about the posts that receive 1 review against the one which receives 50 reviews? Shouldn't the one with 50 be weighted more than the one with a 1? That way, you'd be getting a true rating of the writer, by counting each individual rating, not just that of the post.
Anyway, that wasn't my original reason for logging onto the wonder that is Ubersite.
I actually wanted to write a well thought out argument for or against something. It's hard to write an argument about something when there isn't really anything that attracts your attention. So I looked on the news websites and all that fun stuff, and still nothing casts a line and hooks me like a starving carp.
Instead, I was just going to attach a picture of a hot naked chick, that would easily bring my rating up from a -0.05 to a perfect 0 or better, but that's weak.
So anyway, I'm going to write you a story. If you don't want to read it, then there is a naked chick on the bottom to look at. Enjoy.
Here goes:
"Cleansing Flint, MI, One Nigger at a Time"
Brian was mostly Italian and Sicilian in his heritage, but his grandfather was a direct descendant of English royalty, specifically of the Trowbridge family, who had a small castle and town called Trowbridge, England. To date, nothing remains of the castle, but the town flourishes as a producer of textiles.
If his friends knew anything about the history of European monarchies, they would know that his nervous breakdowns and depression are just the byproduct of the rampant incest among the noble families.
Brian grew up in a small suburb of Cleveland, OH, and was always intelligent and successful. When he graduated from high school, he enrolled in a small private university, Kettering University, which was formerly known as GMI, and was one of the best engineering schools in the country. The only downside was that it was located in Flint, MI, and in a really, really bad neighborhood.
Luckily, during his first term at the college, nothing bad happened to him, other than some incidents at a party, where some locals caused some problems, nothing major. Even though he was relatively safe on campus, he always carried his 3 inch knife with him, just in case.
Following his first term, he immediately got a co-op job at Moen, Incorporated, in North Olmsted, OH. It was really good for him, it was only 8 minutes away from his parent's house in Brooklyn, and he saved quite a bit of money by staying with them. He was, like always, successful at his job.
Christmas and New Years rolled around, and that meant that it was time for him to go back to the hell that was Flint. He made sure that his knife was nice and sharp, just in case.
The beginning of the term was relatively uneventful. He gained quite a footing in many of his clubs that he joined, and was promoted to Program Director of the college's radio station. He also began his participation in 2 community concert bands. He kept his job at the library, and began his training as a Resident Assistant for the residence hall.
It was stressful for him to manage his time, and he was always busy. Stress was usually easily managed for him, as it was temporary most of the time, and it usually subsided after about a week. However, if something major were to happen to him at the peak of his stress, he would boil over; go through a nervous breakdown, as was his wont.
It just so worked out that he had two tests coming up, and it was more stressful than usual. His girlfriend then started to give him more stress, causing him to completely lose his mind for one night. He had no idea how he was going to manage all this, and needed to get out.
He grabbed his Walkman, popped in some heavy metal, and went for a walk. It wasn't enough for him just to go for a walk though. He needed something more. So he hopped in his car and drove around, listening to the same CD on full blast. After driving around for a good hour and a half, he ended up at Meijer, a supermarket similar to Wal-Mart or Kmart.
He continued to walk around the store, over and over, pushing his nearly empty cart along in front of him. After being hit on by a cute local girl, he walked away, knowing that if he were to flirt back, it would just cause more problems with his girlfriend, something that he didn't need. Instead, he went and looked at the knives and sharpening stones, realizing that his knife was beginning to dull. After he decided that he really didn't need to worry about it, as he was probably safe, he proceeded to the check out, mostly cooled down, and ready to manage his life again.
After paying the cashier the $18 and some odd change, he put his cart back in the corral at the entrance to save the 15 year old boys the trouble. He grabbed his two bags and walked out the front door.
Unknown to him, he was followed out by a young black male, who looked rather suspicious. Upon reaching his car, which was not too far away (it was late at night and there weren't many customers), the character following Brian grabbed him from behind, put a knife to his throat, and demanded his car keys. Brian was surprised and alarmed. Nothing like this should have happened to him, he was just minding his own business.
As Brian's car still had the Ohio tags on the bumper, he figured it would be easier for the police to catch the thief, and planned on handing over the keys. As he reached into his pocket with the keys into it, he felt his knife. Instinct took over; he quickly opened the blade, pulled the knife out, and stabbed the attacker once in the thigh, right up to the handle. The thief fell to the ground screaming, and Brian ran back into the store.
After calling 911, the police came with an ambulance, took the suspect into custody and delivered him to a hospital to get his wound cleaned up so he could be nice and pretty for the large inmate named Bubba who was sure to rape this young, fresh meat.
The police asked Brian to come down to the station and fill out a report, and told him it would only take 15 minutes. It actually took him a good hour and a half. He was slightly pissed about that, but it was worth it. One nigger off the streets was worth that much time.
Brian went back to the residence hall; popped open a can of Pepsi, sat on his futon, and turned on the TV. He then began to think about how easy it was to get the scum put into jail. He started going to Meijer every night, and to this day, has put 6 niggers behind bars, and claimed over $3000 in reward for catching these criminals. What a job... He dropped out of college and began to work as bait for the police station fulltime.
He frequently took days off however, to masturbate to this picture:
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User Reviews
Submitted by beefstick86 (user info) at 2005-02-08 17:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
To see the picture, go here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59057
Submitted by beefstick86 (user info) at 2005-02-08 17:33:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
shit. the picture didnt work. damnit.