Take a step back, kid, you're scuffin' up my fresh gear. (943 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 5 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (View user info) at 2005-01-18 11:38:08 EST
I: http://www.ubersite.com/m/46492
II: http://www.ubersite.com/m/56659
III:
I woke up the next morning to the sound of my English bulldog, Frog, running into the door. Most dogs figured out a "scratch at the door for service" technique, but Frog preferred the "BLONG! What's all this now? A door? Brilliant!" style. Like Paul said, I got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head, and make a big glass of Strawberry Quik.
My pride was still a little injured from the previous night. I mean, sure my pride has had more concussions than Eric Lindros, but I had to get back on the horse. It was time to give up the bawlin' and get to some BALLIN'.
First I had to get my wingman, the guy I knew who knew the most about basketball, Isao. See, he was Japanese, but he had a distinct advantage in hoops. He was an assistant to the lead designer in Jordan vs. Bird 1 on 1. He was actually responsible for half the work on the Kiss the Rim dunk. I hoped his pager still worked, so I sent him my code for "Let's get x-treme!," which was "5318008." (Hint: turn this upside-down and read it! High five!).
I sauntered onto the court around noon, just as things were pickin' up. There were a few people in line to get into the game before, so I went through my 7-point groin stretching system. Then I moved onto my gear checklist:
Headband with "The Flash" wings: Check.
Larry Bird Indiana State Jersey: Check.
3 red wristbands, right arm: Check.
4 red wristbands, left arm: Check.
Bill Lambier autographed face mask: Check.
1st Generation Reebok pumps: Check. 3 pumps each. No. 4 pumps today.
The H is O.
"This must be Riverdance, because I KNOW you ain't steppin' like that!" I yelled at the guy shooting.
I was up next.
I took a big gulp of red flavored Gatorade.
"Here comes the freight train, baby! Wooooo woooooooooooo!" I pulled the whistle. "Woo woooooooooooooo!"
I felt a tap on my shoulder, which was probably Wesley Snipes trying to cut in line or something.
"Mister, if you want to play, you need to put your quarters in."
"OHHHH...little froggie wants to jump in my face?" Chump!
I went home with my head held high, and about 6 Jolly Ranchers.
User Reviews
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-03-25 15:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BOOYA!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-19 15:55:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bill Lambier autographed face mask: Check
bonus points for that.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-01-18 13:18:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Zandy1123 (user info) at 2005-01-18 12:11:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for 5318008
and the Riverdance insult
Submitted by theshrew (user info) at 2005-01-18 11:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahahah class, FROM DOWN TOWN!