Getting to know President Bush (1016 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by professor fuckface (View user info) at 2005-01-13 11:08:50 EST
How well do you know your President? Here is the alphabet of little or unknown facts about the president in residence:
a) George W once drove drunk and caused a collision with another vehicle. Driver of the other vehicle later died in the intensive care section of the children's unit at a nearby hospital - his Fisher Price tricycle was a complete write-off.
b) George W cried at the end of 'Big Fish'.
c) George W once led fifteen hundred Nazi storm troopers into the Riechstag and demanded justice.
d) George W stole the Lindbergh baby and dropped it while climbing out of the Lindbergh residence. When he saw a fence post had caved through its unformed skull he quickly set it on fire, threw it in his car, set his car on fire then juggernauted the car into a gas station with a brick on the pedal, killing 2 and injuring 7.
e) George W once told a cab driver to keep the change when he hadn't even handed over enough money for the fare.
f) George W once dropped his dog on its spine.
g) George W knows all the words and dance moves to both Saturday Night Fever and Grease.
h) George W only changed his viewpoint on abortions after his wife and both daughters had all gone and had hysterectomies.
i) George W pronounces nuclear as neucular and cellular as ceullear.
j) After watching the movie 'Richie Rich' eighteen times George W gave into temptation and had a McDonalds installed in the White house. To date the white house is the only McDonalds in the world where you can buy a McNugget Burger.
k) George W signs autographs and documents with an X
l) George W achieved an above average score on an IQ test by checking A for all the questions on the answer sheet.
m) George W doesn't need the UN's approval to do anything, because they are quote unquote: all a bunch of spics, niggers, gooks, knife-noses, communists and most of them don't even speaking properly.
n) George W thinks chickens are baby turkeys, and cats are female dogs.
o) George W wrote, directed and starred in a Broadway musical during the early 70's called the ballad of the late, great unicorn.
p) George W can't get out of bed in the morning without two or three belts of whiskey, which he keeps on his bedside table.
q) George W and Jimmy Swaggart would both kill a homosexual if one ever looked at either of them in a romantic manner.
r) George W's scrotum is seamless.
s) George W had a sandpit put in the backyard of the white house, then he cried when stray cats pissed and has sex in it. They also ruined his sand castle, which was a model of the white house. In the model he had even made a sand sandpit, and in that sandpit he had careful crafted a model sandpit, and so forth until the smallest sandpit was only one grain of sand.
t) If you re-arrange the letters of George Bush you get bugger hose, the act of sodomizing a piece of garden hose.
u) George W sends letters and packages to people without postage stamps. He writes their name on the return address, so the mail is "returned" to them.
v) George W invented the Miracle Blade III and sold the patent for the presidency.
w) If you look very closely, you will notice George W. makes up three of the four men depicted in the statues and photo of Iwo Jima.
x) George W thinks the Vietcong was North Vietnam's version of King Kong, but either way, he knows Donkey Kong is superior to them all.
z) George W never buys return tickets when he goes overseas on holiday. He knows if he hangs around in a foreign country long enough he'll be deported for free.
User Reviews
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-01-27 23:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, I can say the alphamambet now.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-01-27 23:08:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-14 21:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
u) George W sends letters and packages to people without postage stamps. He writes their name on the return address, so the mail is "returned" to them.
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Anybody else want to try this?
Submitted by MaximusPadus (user info) at 2005-01-13 22:29:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by wasabi (user info) at 2005-01-13 20:20:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Donkey Kong DOES own the other Kongs.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-13 20:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...............
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-01-13 17:25:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...............
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-01-13 17:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Riechstag was an atrocity. I have newfound faith in our incumbent.
Submitted by bossk (user info) at 2005-01-13 17:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
made me laugh for sure.
Submitted by Flak (user info) at 2005-01-13 16:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This would be better if you were funny.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-01-13 13:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
s = Infinite regression? Hmmm, maybe not.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-01-13 13:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot "y," but this post didn't need it.
Gold.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-01-13 12:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
E, J, S, U, Z
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought I was going to give this a -2 when I read the first part of the first one, but I decided to keep on reading. This was classic. +2
Submitted by xenon (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wow
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heinrich Buschler.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:40:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
n, r, and x.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:35:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything anti-Bush get's a +2 in my book.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:34:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
blah blah blah leave the country.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yea probably aliens or chinese people
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:29:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You SURE all of these are true?
As an aside, I figured a loser-retard like you would be a big fan of a loser-retard like GW. Imagine my surprise to find out differently.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:25:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gosh. I didn't know half of that stuff.
The man is like an onion. There are just so many LAYERS to him.
I'm speechless.
Submitted by boomslang (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:24:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
the thought someone sculpting all those sandpits is just too funny
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:20:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
s) George W had a sandpit put in the backyard of the white house, then he cried when stray cats pissed and has sex in it. They also ruined his sand castle, which was a model of the white house. In the model he had even made a sand sandpit, and in that sandpit he had careful crafted a model sandpit, and so forth until the smallest sandpit was only one grain of sand. """
OMG LOL!
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Molest-a-rific!
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
political and/or bush related posts = auto -2
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This well most probably get a bad rating, but I thought it was funny.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:18:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rearrange "Spiro Agnew" and you get "grow a penis."
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-01-13 11:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoops!