Uberpoll: Time Capsule (597 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.38 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Oscar <quatatoe_king.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-11-28 14:58:44 EST
Time capsules fucking suck. I remember when I was in grade five we all had to make them, and everyone made them out of some shitty old shoe box, or a coconut shell or something. I fucking hated it, because I am and always have been a bloody genius, so even in grade five I knew that within a few years that shit would decompose and that's hardly the point of a time capsule, right?
Also, even neglecting the biodegradable casing, the contents were nothing but filth. Some letter about who you are, your birth notice in the Buttfuck, Ontario newspaper, and something important to you. Oh, and something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. My teacher was a tree-hugging (not enough emphasis can be put on how literally I mean that) geriatric who I was scared of, so I only did this project to make sure she didn't torture me with vegisexual dominatrix sequences.
Anyway, I've though long and hard, almost five minutes, about what I would put in my wicked-awesome time capsule, and what the capsule itself would look like.
APPEARANCE:
- large (60x30x30cm)brushed titanium steel box with slightly rounded edges. engraved on the top would be the date in English, Arabic, Chinese, Russian, Roman numerals, and Spanish.
- double layered like a Thermos for no apparent reason
- inside would be a velvet bottom, with indents shaped for the items that would be inside. black velvet. there would be multiple layers.
- big red button on the outside to open it. the opening mechanism operated using electromagnets, so the top will hover above the bottom until you move it
CONTENTS:
- 20mL of my isolated DNA in a vacuum packed Pyrex container
- a copy of the Merck manual and Gray's anatomy on a MiniDisc
- a small sample of each naturally occurring element, with a corresponding MiniDisc containing information about each element
- statistics of every country in existence (GDP/cap., population, growth rate, language, you know the drill)
- a MiniDisc player so that we don't look like assholes
- photographs of the following things: Amazon rainforest, Tokyo, the Philippines farmland, the Arabian desert, the Norwegian fjords, and Fetish.
So, what would YOU put in a time capsule? Other than a roflcopter, lollerskates, or a roflamethrower, that is. And I hardly think a p33n3r is an acceptable gift to future generations.
User Reviews
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-12-11 09:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yawn. Someone pass me the funnies.
Submitted by Grim_Hippie (user info) at 2004-11-28 22:52:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Roflcopter.
Submitted by CoachMagirk27 (user info) at 2004-11-28 22:38:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a -2?
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2004-11-28 18:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"And I hardly think a p33n3r is an acceptable gift to future generations."
Spoilsport.
Submitted by RouteTwo (user info) at 2004-11-28 18:10:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for:
"...so I only did this project to make sure she didn't torture me with vegisexual dominatrix sequences"
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-11-28 17:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, if you sucked any harder you'd inhale your mom's dick.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2004-11-28 17:16:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A Nintendo Gamecube, with portable screen ánd some Power supplies. Included with the Cube would be Ikaruga. I would've put my astronomical score in there, and whoever manages to play it will be stupefied at my obvious intellect and dexterity. Top that.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2004-11-28 16:28:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll include this -2.
Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-11-28 15:57:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i think a peener is nice gift, though so are your ideas. and why pyrex, will the vial be smashed about? that seemed like overkill to make you sound smart. anyway good post
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2004-11-28 15:41:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Let's see:
1. A copy of Super Troopers.
2. The brilliant people who thought of this -----> http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/nm/20041124/od_nm/odd_raffle_dc
3. A BRI Bathroom Reader. They make me giggle.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2004-11-28 15:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice concept
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2004-11-28 15:19:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail115.html
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2004-11-28 15:19:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the last paragraph.