Read this if you think your day sucks (721 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.76 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brian Johns (View user info) at 2004-08-10 12:22:41 EDT
My girlfriend stayed over at my apartment on Sunday night, which she does from time to time. She doesn't leave clothes or a toothbrush at my place, rather brings an overnight bag when she knows she is going to stay or borrows my stuff when the evening is unplanned. We're not quite at the "keep Tampex in my bathroom" stage yet.
Yesterday morning we got up a bit late, so we had to rush a bit to get dressed and get to work. I don't have that big an apartment and the bathroom is especially small and not very forgiving when two people are both trying to get ready at the same time. We were both a little annoyed at each other, as one always would start using the sink right before the other.
Both of us were finally finished getting ready, except for brushing our teeth. I let her have the sink first to rinse her brush, then she left the water running for me. Like always, I leaned over the sink to rinse out my mouth by drinking directly from the tap.
SONOFABITCH! The water was fucking hot!
My girlfriend has this thing about brushing her teeth. She likes the bristles of her brush really soft, so she runs her brush under very hot water before she uses the brush. I guess I never really paid attention to this fact before and was too tired to notice the heat coming off the water when I leaned in. My apartment complex has one hell of a boiler, because the hot water is near the boiling point. You can make tea with it.
I jumped back and screamed like a little girl. The water caught me on the side of my lips and it felt like someone was holding a lighter to them. Not wanting a ugly burn, I fumbled for the taps to make the water cold.
Meanwhile, my girlfriend found this all really funny. She was laughing and giggling despite my obvious pain. To her credit, she did ask me if I was OK, but "are you" and "OK" were separated by about 3 seconds of giggling.
The cold water provided temporary relief, but I could see the side of my mouth getting really red. So I went to the kitchen to get some ice. It still hurt.
"Try some butter" my girlfriend managed to squeak out between laughs. I tried to tell her it wasn't funny, but talking was starting to hurt. I had nothing in the way of polysporin or peroxide or any medication for burns.
So holding a bag of ice to my face, I went to work. After a while, I got used to the stinging, as long as I didn't open my mouth to wide. An hour passed and I actually felt better. Then, tiredness got the better of me and I decided to try drinking some coffee. Bad idea.
The coffee was take out, which I figured would be easy to drink because of the shape of the cup's lid. The burn was on the right side of my mouth, so I parted my lips on the left side and put them over the little hold on the cup lid. But the coffee was way too hot, so I kind of jerked back my hand when it hit my lips.
The result was twofold. First, some of the coffee traveled across my lips to the burnt side. The resulting spasm, combined with the already sudden movement of my hand caused me to spill coffee all over my white shirt.
Sometimes I have spare clothes at the office, but of course not today. So there I am at my desk, covered in coffee and holding my mouth in pain. There's coffee on me, my desk and the floor. With absolutely impeccable timing, a couple of co-workers, Mr. Keen and the Hot Chick, walk by. Mr. Keen looks at me, smiles and says "Hey, did you make some fresh coffee?" They both laugh, but them Hot Chick leans over and with a look of disgust on her face says, "What's that on your mouth?"
By now the burn had gone from red skin to a big white bubble. Not having a mirror at my desk, I could tell. So excused myself and took off to the bathroom. What a site. My shirt had a giant coffee stain, but if anything that was good because it took away from the pus-leaking burn on my mouth. It looked like a combination of a cold sore and really bad chapped lips.
That was it for me. I just went home. Didn't tell anybody, just left. I spent the afternoon watching TV and holding ice to my face. Today I was back, with lots of polysporin and a gauze bandage on the side of my mouth. No one said anything. No jokes, no sympathy, just indifference. I don't even think anyone knew I left yesterday. I suppose that's a good thing. Maybe I'll make a habit of taking off Monday afternoons.
Born loser strikes again.......
User Reviews
Submitted by ParlorTrick (user info) at 2004-08-11 01:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Tampex" <--was that a spelling error or sensitivity to trademark infringement?
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-08-10 18:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:41:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
sue mcdonalds.
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you get a plus two because of that.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-08-10 16:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So far I have enjoyed everything you've written. Cool.
Submitted by wazzawazzayo (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Physically abuse your girlfriend, it'll help you get rid of some of that stress.
Submitted by porkmonger (user info) at 2004-08-10 15:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have a feeling you have many more stories like these...
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-08-10 14:41:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sue mcdonalds.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2004-08-10 13:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've had worse days.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-08-10 13:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sucks. When I had a bad day like that I would just leave school.
Though I can't imagine water from a bathroom sink being hot enough to burn you like that. That's nucking futs.
Submitted by zafiro (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:56:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ouch!
Submitted by vodka7tall (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:56:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You think that sucks, just wait until the burn scars over and then starts cracking.
hehehehe...
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DonkeyOnTheEdge ain't got nothing on you.
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:32:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by plushpeach (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
We're not quite at the "keep Tampex in my bathroom" stage yet.
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What is it about the whole tampon monster that men are afraid of? I don't understand it at all. And oh yeah, I do the same thing with my toothbrush too. I laughed, at your expense, but I still laughed.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha ha, you suck. good stuff.
Submitted by ubersitemakesmypenistemble (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
BOO FEKKING HOO
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-08-10 12:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure if polysporin helps burns, but it will make it shiny and more noticable