Green = Go (856 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.02 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by runninginplace (View user info) at 2004-06-15 12:21:00 EDT
Don't you just hate those idiot drivers that sit there and ignore the green light? GREEN= GO you idiot. Move your ass.
The other day I was sitting at a stop light waiting for the little green turn arrow to light up so I can continue on my merry little way home from work. I could tell there was going to be trouble just looking at the two idiots in the car in front of me. Were they looking forward and eagerly anticipating the green arrow? Were they prepared to get as many of the cars in the left turn lane through the light as possible? No! They weren't paying attention at all, just sitting there blathering on to each other waving their arms about without a care in the world.
So of course when the green arrow finally came on after the usual 15 minute wait, they refused to budge. Now you must understand this isn't some nice long light you can just easily meander through. No, sir. This light lasts all of one second long. You basically need to floor it just to get through the damn thing.
Back to the story. They didn't move at all. They didn't look forward. They just kept talking. Bastards. So I gave them a nice little honk on the horn. Nothing rude, just a quick little, "Move your bloomin arses!" I figured this would get 'em going - end of story. Right? Certainly not.
Now I am getting mad because the light is about to turn yellow and I didn't want to be stuck there for another 15 minutes. Therefore, I held down the horn to get their fucking attention. The stupid SOB's kept gesticulating and yapping at each other to spite me. Fuckers. Then all of a sudden, as the light turned yellow, they gunned it and left me at the light. Wtf!?
Well screw this I thought to myself. I hit the gas and flew through the now red light and proceeded to chase them down so I could tell them "thank you" with in the American way. As I got parallel with them I gave them the finger and yelled, "Screw you asshole."
I went ahead and passed them because like typical fuckers they were going at least 10 mph below the posted speed limit. As I pulled in front of them I looked back in my mirror to make sure they weren't going to chase me down and shoot me only to see them driving along calmly as if nothing had happened. Then I noticed that they were still gesticulating, or as it dawned on my moments later, using sign language. That's right I flipped off some deaf ladies because they couldn't hear me honking at them. What an asshole.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sade (user info) at 2004-10-22 15:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love road rage, and way to go terrorizing those deaf old ladies. That's what it's all about.
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-22 14:56:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your the bomb
really
i mean it
Submitted by blingshizzle (user info) at 2004-10-20 18:10:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty funny
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-20 17:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ahhhhh, i feel a little better now
Submitted by big_wigger (user info) at 2004-10-20 17:56:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-06-15 19:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They're still cunts, and deserved everything they got and more. After all, to do otherwise would have been positive discrimination, and you know how they hate that!
Submitted by Oleannder (user info) at 2004-06-15 17:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm all for giving the deaf credit for many accomplishments but I relly do not think that the hearing inpaired are permitted to drive. At least not in good old sane Canada.
I was deaf for close to a year in my childhood due to some fun complications with my ears. It was not fun. I still would have never EVER attempted to drive. For that you get -1 on the +2 I was going to give you.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:32:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I feel your pain!!!
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
They should still be paying attention.
Submitted by samson (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck them, if they were deaf that's even more reason they should have been paying attention. No sympathy for the handicapped!
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jokes about deaf people are almost as funny as jokes about retards. Hell if they'd have been blind too you could have had yourself a good Helen Keller joke, but odds are they wouldn't be driving then.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2004-06-15 15:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I wonder if their car has a radio.
Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-06-15 13:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A couple things:
1.) Flash your brights.
2.) Do they really let deaf people drive? I think this situation proved the danger of letting them drive. I mean, they can't hear the horn. What if they start to run someone off the road, but don't notice it? How is someone going to tell them they are in error? Secondly, everyone talks about how cellphones are a lethal distraction because it takes your eyes off the road if you are dialing. How about ASL conversations? Waving your hands all over the place and having to look over constantly.
I remember a story of a blind lady who tried to sue the hospital she was working at because they didn't hire her for position of heart surgeon. She said she was unfairly discriminated against. What the heck? I know I'd request specificially that I *not* have her as an attending surgeon. I don't want someone who has to feel their way around my aorta and associated capillaries and vessels to find out what to cut and what to leave. It's hard enough for someone who can see to do it.
Man. I'm scared. Deaf people driving.
Stay orange.
--JW
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2004-06-15 13:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't see that coming. Nice.
Submitted by dohnuts (user info) at 2004-06-15 13:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Comment, No
Submitted by j00 (user info) at 2004-06-15 12:55:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2004-06-15 12:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-06-15 12:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment