There's a lesson to be learned from all this (469 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -0.25 on 6 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bill (View user info) at 2004-05-19 15:37:39 EDT
...don't get drunk and shoot at the Apache gunships.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,120373,00.html
Here's what I think happened...
Slurring drunkenly, Zafir says, "Ammar, you know what would be crazy?" Even on the edge of the crowd, Ammar struggles to hear his friend over the happy reception guests.
Ammar's head swivels loosely towards Zafir and closes one eye as if looking through a telescope. "What?" he manages to ask. It's three a.m. and they've been drinking since the afternoon.
Zafir sets his beer down and grabs his AK-47. "Let's shoot at those American helicopters!" He is momentarily thrown off-balance due to the combination of picking up the weapon and speaking at the same time.
Ammar grabs his friend's shoulder to steady him. "Are you sure? They shoot back you know." Ammar looks around the sky warily, as if the mere mention of a helicopter would bring 30-mm shells raining down on them.
His gun at the ready position, Zafir declares, "Let's just do it... how will they know where it is coming from?" Ammar's brow furrows for a few moments as he stares at Zafir. Slowly swaying in the wind, Ammar looks like he is trying to decide how many heads Zafir has.
In the time-honored tradition of doing incredibly stupid things while you're drunk, Ammar agrees. "What the hell," Ammar slurs, flailing his arms up in the air. "Lemme get my gun!" Ammar stumbles off into the darkness, using a table to bounce him back onto the right trajectory when he goes dangerously off-course.
Zafir feels energized by this new adventure. "Everybody! Let's shoot into the skies! Let's give those Americans something to dance to!" A chorus of drunken half-yells, half-groans rises from the crowd, signifying an assent that one can hear only from drunken partiers.
About a half-dozen men in various stages of intoxication point their guns in the approximate direction of "up". As Ammar returns with his badly-maintained weapon, the party guests begin to shoot randomly in the air. "Yeaaaah! This is great!" Ammar yells so loud his voice cracks. One guest is knocked over by his gun's kickback, unable to win the struggle to remain standing.
The bullets fly into the air in all directions, muzzle flashes lighting up the night sky. Nearby, two war-weary Apache helicopters and their crews are returning from a patrol. A bullet hits the side of one of the choppers and the crews immediately pick up the gunfire on the advanced avionics routed through their helmet-mounted displays.
The entire wedding party (those not passed out, at least) is either firing a weapon or dancing and yelling. Some are doing all three. Unfortunately for them, they are now mostly firing in the direction of the fast-approaching Apache gunships. Zafir has managed to remain standing after a fashion. His AK-induced ecstasy ends suddenly when the last bullet exits the barrel. He looks at his raised weapon in confusion, trying to figure out why the noise has stopped. He just so happens to be looking in the general direction of the Apache helicopters, but he does not see them. What he does see is the flash of a Hellfire missile igniting its rocket engine. As it tears away from the wing-mounted launcher on the gunship, Zafir lowers his weapon and squints into the darkness. He says to himself, "Wow, I'm seeing things. I've think had too much to..."
User Reviews
Submitted by DMWJorge (user info) at 2004-05-19 20:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe the US should learn something about their culture and traditions.
You all need to be less ethnocentric.
Submitted by Helpertin <me.at.fakeemails.com> at 2004-05-19 17:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
the real war is coming soon...
I also have no sympathy for them. Dumb ass bitches shouldn't be firing off weapons in a war zone.... what happens when you shoot a gun in a war zone? Someones gonna shoot back with a more powerful weapon.
Submitted by jme7551 <JME7551.at.HOTMAIL.COM> at 2004-05-19 16:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who fucking cares if we have won the hearts and minds of them we already removed
that pussy piece of shit saddam hussein from their country , we have attempted to
set up a decent government for them and when american contractors go over to
help them rebuild their cities, they cut their fucking heads off. so excuse me
if i have no sympathy. maybe they should be smart enough not to shoot into the sky
when there are military planes present that just seems like common sense to me.
and if i were in charge they wouldn't be allowed to marry or reproduce more plane
hijacking, bombing, american hating, cave dwellers.
Submitted by Staccers (user info) at 2004-05-19 16:39:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll always +2 something that involves the death/torture/sadistic malreatment of the a-rabs.
NUKE THE FUCKERS
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2004-05-19 16:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Or it could have been that durring the wedding celebration, the people fired guns up in the air as they have done at weddings and celebrations in that country for countless fucking years.
we obviously dont understand that society and have yet to win the 'hearts and minds' of these people.
what a mess.
Submitted by MuMeson (user info) at 2004-05-19 16:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think there is a lot to be learned from the arabs tradition of prodidgous gunfire at celebrations. Its better than a boring party