im gointo waste your anus with a brick (1178 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.28 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <DISTURBEDNAKEDCHILD.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2004-05-18 22:20:39 EDT
I saw an episode of Americas Funniest Home Videos quite recently. The final 3 clips included a girl screaming because there was a kitten in her christmas parcel, some person getting injured and a baby falling over. Maybe. The girl won 10 000 dollars. After i saw her and her family recieve the 10 000 dollars i walked into my kitchen, turned on my toaster and put my penis in it. I cant believe that that retarded little shit won 10 000 dollars for screaming like a bitch on heat at christmas. "AAAAHHHHHH, A KITTEN!!!!! OHMYGOD!!!AHHHHHH!" - que 10 000 dollars - que me blowing my fucking brains out all over the TV screen. I could produce better shit using only my penis tip to operate the camera. I also saw an equally worthy winner a few months back - it was some poor bastard being given a rigged lotto ticket by his family on his birthday. The guy was hugging and screaming for five minutes while his bitch family stood back and laughed at him, "Haha dad - its not a real ticket!" HAHA? HOLYSHIT GUYS, THAT SURE WAS A COOL PRANK. I swear if i had a wife and kids that done that to me on MY Birthday i would make them eat my shit for a month. I'd have them chained up in my dungeon for a month living on nothing but my own excrement. I swear - if theres anything that i hate more than Americas Funniest Home Videos , or 'AFV' as its so cleverly named these days - its the retarded wankers in the audience. I have a brick for every single anus that has ever been in contact with those seats. Every single anus. And its not one of those pussy weatherd bricks with rounded edges either. It's a nice fresh red bastard with sharp edges and cheese grater sides so when all those gammy shits in the audience realize that their rectums have been reduced to a pitiful mass of dangling meat shreds they'll be like: "shit - my anus sure got annihilated. Well i guess i deserve it for supporting Americas Funniest Home Videos". I sure hope everyone that has enjoyed AFV ever, dosnt particularly value pooing - because it sure will hurt trying to poo out of a ragged, severed colon.
User Reviews
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-09-16 12:08:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
best first post evar.
evar.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-09-16 11:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
unreadable
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-09-15 22:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
greatness is inherint...ah...inherant...inhereee..fuck it, this was good.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahaha
Oh jesus.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-08-17 19:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a goddamn fuckin awesome post, mate.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-17 19:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
xcellent
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-05-25 14:43:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a funny guy, but I'd recommend paragraphs. This was straining on the eyes. Funny though.
Submitted by Lucky (user info) at 2004-05-19 10:01:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was funny.
Submitted by Spankyfuck (user info) at 2004-05-19 04:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dwr_budr has managed to disappear up his/her own backside, you pathetic individual give the article the credit it's due.
Submitted by Spankyfuck (user info) at 2004-05-19 04:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah mate, quality
Submitted by Zeccs (user info) at 2004-05-19 03:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's a nice fresh red bastard with sharp edges and cheese grater sides"
Oh god i laughed at that line.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-05-19 03:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm the most anal retentive bitch I know when it comes to little things like spelling and grammar and punctuation. You get this 2 just for making me laugh until I inhaled coffee and nearly choked to death.
Yay for you.
Submitted by vex (user info) at 2004-05-19 02:55:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anyone who despises Funniest Home Videos is OK in my book.
Submitted by dwr_budr (user info) at 2004-05-18 23:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was "gointo" give you a -2 for that horrible title, but there was a small shred of comedy in that post so I'll give you a nothing instead.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-05-18 23:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just squeaked by with a +2, my angry friend.
Submitted by RedcorvetteL88 (user info) at 2004-05-18 23:15:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hmmmmm...
Submitted by CunningVision (user info) at 2004-05-18 23:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Try paragraphs next time. Otherwise, I laughed bunches.
Submitted by Nee (user info) at 2004-05-18 22:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesum
Submitted by lilbill87 (user info) at 2004-05-18 22:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-05-18 22:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had no idea what the hell you were thinking with the title.. but I agree with what you wrote.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2004-05-18 22:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"After i saw her and her family recieve the 10 000 dollars i walked into my kitchen, turned on my toaster and put my penis in it." <- saved you.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-18 22:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the hell?
Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-05-18 22:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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