I know I'm going to end up old and lonely (726 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.1 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Trishtopher (View user info) at 2004-05-15 22:41:08 EDT
I wonder about you sometimes. What you're doing. Whether you're happy. If you still talk to her.
I wonder how you could have left without even saying goodbye. I know we didn't end on the best of terms, but it seems like the least you could have done was send me an email. How can you tell someone you fell in love with them then turn and walk away without even a cursory glance behind? I know that things would never have worked out. I've come to understand that perhaps I was indeed lucky to be able to experience the intense feelings I had for you. But it doesn't make you being gone any easier. It doesn't make the hole you left in me any easier to fill. Maybe it's because I was so hungry for someone to love. Maybe it's because you were what I always dreamed the man I married would be like.
You asked me once what I wanted from you. I told you I wanted you to be happy. I lied. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to learn more about all the amazing things I saw in you. I wanted to stay up all night and listen to your stories. I wanted to share my life with you. I wanted you to understand what I meant when I said you were like no one I had ever known before. I wanted to wake up every morning and stare at you sleeping. I din't want to feel this way after you left. I didn't want you to leave.
I go through every day trying to forget the way you made me feel. You come into my thoughts sometimes twenty times a day. Every man has to live up to the ideal you created. I fear that none ever will. I fear that I'll spend the rest of my life alone because no one can ever make me feel the way you did. I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in a cold sweat because I've just realized that I'm going to end up old and lonely.
I've been with men, and can't lose myself in passion anymore because I compare the way they touch me with the way you did. His lips aren't as soft as yours. His hands don't seem to know the exact places the way yours did. He doesn't want to spend hours discussing the merits of Nina Simone. You fulfilled me in a sexual way; but more importantly you fulfilled my brain. My eternal quest for knowledge seemed to have been sated. You knew what I wanted. You understood what I felt.
I know you're gone. So I sit, and I cry, and I wonder. I wonder if you'll ever come back. I wonder if I'll get over it if you don't.
User Reviews
Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-16 03:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-05-16 03:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why is everybody writing this depressing crap tonight? Although I guess this isn't crap.
Submitted by Fixer (user info) at 2004-05-16 03:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-05-16 02:39:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, this just summed up the last four months of my life. Except I'm missing a woman. No seriously.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-05-16 02:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You seem like a good person. And I haven't said that to a woman since...I can't remember.
I wish you well.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-16 00:28:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-15 23:42:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus.... I could have written this.
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..As the pretentiousness sets in like so many before her..
Or maybe I just read it wrong.
Submitted by facts (user info) at 2004-05-16 00:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Eh, this love crap gets annoying. Almost as bad as flute boy.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2004-05-15 23:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus.... I could have written this.
I feel it, Trish. I am so sorry. You don't deserve that. Have hope, dear girl. Another will come. One for you who will not leave. Believe it. You have to. I have to. Let's both hope really hard.
Sending you love.
Submitted by conrad (user info) at 2004-05-15 23:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2004-05-15 23:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You will. Trust me.