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Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Networking: I have lost all faith in humanity. (427349 hits)

Category: Humor -> Dirty Humor

Rating: 1.59 on 687 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by Tom (View user info) at 2004-04-05 04:09:33 EDT

I think just about anyone who meets me and talks to me for long enough comes to terms with the fact that I am a very sick, twisted person. Also factor in a few mountain dews, a Peer-to-Peer connection, and boredom and you get what might be the funniest combination imaginable.

I had been downloading music yesterday evening. Led Zeppelin, REO Speedwagon, Flock of Seagulls, things like that. Then I realized that it'd be a funny joke to play on people if I were to change "Keep on Rolling" to "Hot Lesbian Sex". I watched as within minutes this file got 50 downloads. I was astounded.

Then the Tom got an idea.
An awful idea.
The Tom got a wonderful awful idea.

What if, perhaps, I was to change some of these names to sick pornography titles? I wonder if I'd get any bites?

And this is where the fun begins.

The first title I put up was "Naked boys dancing and eating cake." I sat in anticipation, waiting for my first download. Success, the first download came. Then the second. Then the third. This baby was steamrolling down the information super highway like a trucker with a hardon that has 2 miles left to the next truck stop. Before I knew it, I was getting twenty downloads. Then thirty. Then fifty. Can you imagine that in the end, rather than getting dancing boys naked and indulging themselves with sweets and frolicking in a dewy meadow, one-hundred thirty two people got a disappointing video of Led Zeppelin performing "Dazed and Confused" in front of a live audience? At this point, I had no choice but to continue.

The second title I put up was "My Ex-Girlfriend mowing the lawn naked." I thought that this was too far out to get any downloads. Alas, I was wrong. It got a download. Then two. Then thirty. In the end, seventy-eight sweaty, drooling fucks wanted to see my ex girlfriend mow the lawn stark naked. She's not even that hot. Rather then get their lawn-mowing beauty, they got the song "Ozone baby."

For the third title, I decided to transform "White Wedding" into the more intriguing "Elephant cock horse." I wish I could say I was kidding when this thing was downloaded one hundred eighty seven times. I guess there is something about horses and elephants showing their cocks that bring out the best in people. I nearly died of laughter at this point. "How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!" For sanctity's sake, we're going to leave this as a mystery. I hope I turned some people on to Billy Idol, hopefully distracting them long enough to forget that masturbating to horse and elephant genitalia are not really something their mothers would be proud of.

I couldn't stop myself from doing another. "Grandma Bingo Sex." Short and sweet. I couldn't stop myself from amusing.........myself..... "Grandma Bingo Sex." Surely not a common scenario, and surely not a scenario that would arouse many a twisted psyche. Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche. One hundred twenty two. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO PEOPLE would like to see grandma getting bent over the bingo table, game card in hand, getting donkey punched by a 90 year old addle brained porn star. I rubbed my eyes just to double check. My eyes had to be lying to my brain. My penis had shriveled to the size of a 2 day old Wendys chicken nugget.

They asked for Grandma.

They got Joan Jett.

At this point I had to start taking puffs of my albuteral inhaler to keep from suffocating myself with laughter. "Girl on girl toe insertion (LEGAL)" was my next proud creation. Everyone likes 38 Special, so everyone won't feel like such dumb-asses after downloading this footy piece of shit. Never underestimate the inertia traveling behind a toe inserting itself into a rectum, friends. It's like a fucking semi hurling down Interstate 40 in the noonday sun. One hundred twelve people wanted to jerk to this. God have mercy on us.

At this point, for some odd reason, the user name "Enraged Baboon" popped into my head. "Enraged Baboon fucking a nipple factory." No way in hell would this get many downloads. Who could possibly type in any or all of those keywords? I guess people like seeing sweaty red-ass baboons, nostrils flaring, banging their chests like Marky Mark in the movie "Fear", having sex WITH each other in a factory that produces baby-bottle nipples. Imagine what those children would look like. One hundred seventy two people typed those magic words into Limewire, and got a hot steaming pile of monkey love. Well, it was Pink Floyd, but a man can dream, cant he?

This could all seem very disturbing. My final experiment, however, made me dizzy as my precious sack retreated into my pelvis. ...THREE PEOPLE...three disgusting, drooling, perverted, fucked up people, wielding a box of Puffs Plus and a tube of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, bright eyed and bushy tailed, wanted to see "An emu taking a vicious dump." How does one take a VICIOUS dump and how does an EMU take one, for that matter?

Ladies and gentlemen: this is why I have lost every last ounce of faith in humanity.

If I may quote Method:
"You're going to make a lot of sick people very unhappy."

porno.JPG (15 kB)

User Reviews

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-02 07:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-06-01 18:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I lol'd. Literally. Odd fat people staring at me now. Back to work. 30 minutes to go.

Submitted by PurplePunk (user info) at 2009-05-19 02:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It happens a lot on limewire ... its not just porn but its with the songs too :|
Guess now i know abt the pleasure one lets by doing so lol.

Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2009-02-24 09:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

This is on digg.

Submitted by crimebusterofthesea (user info) at 2009-01-26 09:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm doing that.

I wonder how many people here replied with 'Hey, I wanted to see an emu taking a vicious dump!!', or something along those lines.

Submitted by tHEbiGNOthINg (user info) at 2009-01-10 16:48:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

God, that was hilarious!!!!!!!! i do feel bad for the people who watched those, somewhere deep down in a small desolate corner of my body. But the rest is trying to get enough oxygen to my lungs, which are seconds away from bursting from laughfter. goodness, people are sick and demented!

oh and.....This is kinda offhandish, but Led Zepplin is awesome

Submitted by nargles (user info) at 2008-10-09 17:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

that's fucking brilliant

Submitted by English_Master (user info) at 2008-07-27 22:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hilarious.

I'd suggest more titles, but I should reserve them for my own experimentation. :)

Submitted by Majik_Marker (user info) at 2008-05-18 08:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fucking genius. Loved the idea. Maybe I might repeat your experiment and post my results...

Submitted by Naery (user info) at 2008-05-18 07:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

man... it's been a long time since I read this one last. still made me chuckle a bit...

Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2007-12-25 14:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

speechless

Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2007-12-14 12:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

http://sims-perry.livejournal.com/

Someone's plagiarizing us.You're at the top. I'm at the bottom.

Submitted by Infidel (user info) at 2007-12-10 17:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

now you see, if i where looking around on lime wire and i saw the emu name, id probly download it out of pure and udder morbid curiosity.

Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2007-11-29 09:48:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Mrs.Somebody (user info) at 2007-10-10 01:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I love it. Where can you go from here? Well, instead of "German P.M. Violates Cocker Spaniel" being something actually worth listening to like all the classic rock legends, people could be downloading Celine Dion. I once convinced the stoners in the apartment across the way from mine (all dudes) as they were on the way to Blockbuster to rent The Wizard of Oz to play simultaneously with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon- that only posers think it is the Wizard of Oz that syncs with the album, cool people *in the know* know the true secret that it is The Sound of Music that syncs perfectly. They were young and dumb and they rented The Sound of Music.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-09-09 05:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Do not!

Submitted by Rejection (user info) at 2007-07-31 00:06:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-05-09 23:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

It's been three years now. I still rock.

---

It's been three years now. You're still living in your parents' basement eating pizza, playing World of Warcraft, and reading Ubersite all day.

Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-06-18 18:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

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Submitted by therealgeddylee (user info) at 2007-06-18 16:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fucking brilliant man.. brilliant. I do <3 emus though..

Submitted by viciouscorndog (user info) at 2007-06-09 17:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funny as hell

Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-05-22 10:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

thanks for the joan jett...

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2007-05-09 23:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

It's been three years now. I still rock.

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-25 22:00:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by Charlilot (user info) at 2007-04-10 02:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

did you post this on bash.org? I just saw it on the top 200 quotes

Submitted by DancingOtter (user info) at 2007-03-28 13:17:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Lol, nice one =D

Submitted by aldenso (user info) at 2007-03-28 08:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

simply fucking amazing.

Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-15 12:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Yeah, that shit is funny....I'm sure you disappointed a lot of sick fucks.

Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-03-15 11:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was one of the first uber posts I ever read. One of the best too.

Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-03-09 00:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I thought I had rated this, but there you go! Brains of fucking a lamp post somewhere

Submitted by damunzy (user info) at 2007-03-07 19:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I am going to take up this crusade! I am not going to stop a small files either. No, I am going to make it 700 MB (can fit on a CD) "Boys Getting Hammered" (AKA, "10 minutes of a multi-colored wall in HD").
Ah, I feel pure.

Submitted by Jaurenlo (user info) at 2007-02-26 13:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Hilarious...

Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-02-04 10:22:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

ha ha ha ha ...

oh I love it!!!

Oh yes I do

Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-02-03 18:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://bash.org/?572066

Submitted by detimus (user info) at 2007-01-31 13:01:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I can't believe how many people viewed this shit

Submitted by Bananana (user info) at 2007-01-25 17:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

As the +2 says, this was indeed a "kicker of all ass"! Especially the emu line.

Submitted by Doogsterville (user info) at 2007-01-22 09:52:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

That was you!?

You sick twisted bastard. Thanks for the zep video though...

Submitted by DiamondEyes228 (user info) at 2006-12-20 00:05:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

hillarious. there's some fucked up people out there.

Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-15 16:02:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

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Submitted by LongestPants (user info) at 2006-11-27 22:15:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

-2 for Limewire.

+2 for cake.

+2 for nipples.

Submitted by Jim_Lokus (user info) at 2006-11-23 17:26:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Gold........'nuff said.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2006-11-18 00:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Looking back I can't help but wonder what an emu taking a vicious dump would be like. Huh.

Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-11-06 12:12:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

hey man id type that in

Submitted by rennfahrer (user info) at 2006-11-03 11:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I dont' know what to say.

Submitted by DonSturgeon2003 (user info) at 2006-11-02 02:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Truly funny

http://donsturgeon.tripod.com

Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2006-10-29 16:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I laughed, I cried, I spooged.

Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2006-10-05 04:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Brilliant, I'm going to try it now

Submitted by dephtones (user info) at 2006-09-15 13:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

One of the funniest things I've read, honestly.

Submitted by WingedFoote (user info) at 2006-09-04 18:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

how have I never seen this before? oh, that's right. I'm just a n00b... :(

Submitted by test (user info) at 2006-08-23 10:16:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by mentalfuzz (user info) at 2006-08-15 17:23:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

this was so cool-i have to do this some time

Submitted by Defect (user info) at 2006-08-14 15:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'd download an emu taking a dump. Especially a viscous one.....err....vicious...whatevr...

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2006-08-12 19:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

yup. thats some funny shit up there.

Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-12 18:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Still great everytime i read it

Submitted by Gargamel (user info) at 2006-08-11 17:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funniest thing I've read in quite a while. +2

Oh and by the way, "Enraged Baboons" would be a good name for a band.

Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-09 14:24:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

awesomo

Submitted by anass (user info) at 2006-07-21 08:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I would love to fuck a nipple factory... or rate +2.

Submitted by DirtyDoubleEntendre (user info) at 2006-06-09 01:04:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I printed this and read it to all my friends.

Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-02 10:05:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nominated for best ever:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/88684

Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2006-05-28 09:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by DirtyDoubleEntendre (user info) at 2006-05-24 01:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ah crap, I'm not done laughing yet!

Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-27 12:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.helpwinthisbet.com

Submitted by Stellar5446 (user info) at 2006-04-24 16:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm don't know if it explains away the magic, but I believe the reason for all the hits is that when people are looking for say Pink Floyd, they get the identity of that video stored in each shared copy regardless of the name. Example: I look for Capote and find a list of titles with the word "Capote", but other people have the exact same file without the keyword in it; the integrity of the file remains the same, because while you have "Emu Cock Legal Wonderbread" or whatever, the exact file on another computer is called "Pink Floyd- The Wall (live)" and you share in on the upload. If I'm wrong, I'd like to know.

-------

Well, even if they typed in 'Pink Floyd- The Wall', then there would be a list of names of files and among them you would see "Emu Cock Legal Wonderbread", and people would have to click on that one.

Submitted by TimTheBard (user info) at 2006-04-19 16:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nice

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-11 02:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-03-22 13:37:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Bow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.

dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwm neo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8q jh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaoj tp0om8qaoq5ja q lnhgowsandlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmne o;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8 qpw9ju8 n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7 uieswajnhgaqoh wg5ru9psy ,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo; hwmneo;p j5w93ng[qpg eu8qpw9ju8n9o hv79opu iesgnjh5ro 7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru9 psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qa oq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg5 ru9psyu, tsjpi5re xswa u8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrg o;hwmneo; pj5w 93ng[qpgeu 8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5r q7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru 9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8 ioswa0[uo ju5 qaojt p0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjp i5re xswau8io swa0[uoju5qao jtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo ;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq 7uieswajnhgaqo hwg5ru9psyu,tsjpi5 rex wau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dvsfahbtrd'lkgbvewsam0ofiimfdohmgods
sdtrpijotgk8esw08gjpj85ew8pg8j5eimg4w9pvmwo9pmg9opwe8j8tiwvj9 8pwjtg9p8jt9p;gwi9evs9j8vw0ojgf0ubj98hbg tjnyhet
jaez ju
dtk
ryjre5jnutfjnuyhgfjnrtnertybvyertbv
ewgt
e3wh46tyhdhye
onusdgnifventro9ugerunoigenuignw4ouneoijh guvifn muigonv4rikjhngnwe jkfhxnjikgnfv iodsuhnvujwnl uifhetr
09vnjgi4opwjkmev9fomrfe jngiuoimgrimiofkm0iowremoifj8f irounrfhpn 98h e9pfhw7p9frfe
fniu34` 8 fh97f8h987jn5iuhf bruyhg089hwuei ojg8vwsnoijvhtis lj8g90h4nwerwjh8g97iewausjhgr7tuinhwjtg08higt
gieuyfbiwgerop v jhiutvgj98uigntve908ghybvkotrkg9uin g tmrfjhiutgfe908 9hygbthfekdfjuiyghvfd8 9g7uiygfnujtg8vrfwgehjfojkgtr
t5gbrkjkigtjkhigtruijkiwr,f.oir90ouikgdef swouie is oui4w3 qirjkeki8gt9uo4ir8tiuyr gf-08hybvd0uygh3roe vf9i87uigref
fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfijBow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.

dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwm neo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8q jh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaoj tp0om8qaoq5ja q lnhgowsandlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmne o;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8 qpw9ju8 n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7 uieswajnhgaqoh wg5ru9psy ,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo; hwmneo;p j5w93ng[qpg eu8qpw9ju8n9o hv79opu iesgnjh5ro 7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru9 psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qa oq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg5 ru9psyu, tsjpi5re xswa u8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrg o;hwmneo; pj5w 93ng[qpgeu 8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5r q7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru 9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8 ioswa0[uo ju5 qaojt p0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjp i5re xswau8io swa0[uoju5qao jtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo ;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq 7uieswajnhgaqo hwg5ru9psyu,tsjpi5 rex wau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dvsfahbtrd'lkgbvewsam0ofiimfdohmgods
sdtrpijotgk8esw08gjpj85ew8pg8j5eimg4w9pvmwo9pmg9opwe8j8tiwvj9 8pwjtg9p8jt9p;gwi9evs9j8vw0ojgf0ubj98hbg tjnyhet
jaez ju
dtk
ryjre5jnutfjnuyhgfjnrtnertybvyertbv
ewgt
e3wh46tyhdhye
onusdgnifventro9ugerunoigenuignw4ouneoijh guvifn muigonv4rikjhngnwe jkfhxnjikgnfv iodsuhnvujwnl uifhetr
09vnjgi4opwjkmev9fomrfe jngiuoimgrimiofkm0iowremoifj8f irounrfhpn 98h e9pfhw7p9frfe
fniu34` 8 fh97f8h987jn5iuhf bruyhg089hwuei ojg8vwsnoijvhtis lj8g90h4nwerwjh8g97iewausjhgr7tuinhwjtg08higt
gieuyfbiwgerop v jhiutvgj98uigntve908ghybvkotrkg9uin g tmrfjhiutgfe908 9hygbthfekdfjuiyghvfd8 9g7uiygfnujtg8vrfwgehjfojkgtr
t5gbrkjkigtjkhigtruijkiwr,f.oir90ouikgdef swouie is oui4w3 qirjkeki8gt9uo4ir8tiuyr gf-08hybvd0uygh3roe vf9i87uigref
fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfijBow down before me, your new lord and ruler, and serenade me with a beautiful flowing chorus of insults and -2's.

dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwm neo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8q jh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaoj tp0om8qaoq5ja q lnhgowsandlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmne o;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8 qpw9ju8 n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7 uieswajnhgaqoh wg5ru9psy ,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo; hwmneo;p j5w93ng[qpg eu8qpw9ju8n9o hv79opu iesgnjh5ro 7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru9 psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qa oq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg5 ru9psyu, tsjpi5re xswa u8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrg o;hwmneo; pj5w 93ng[qpgeu 8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5r q7uieswajnhgaqohwg5ru 9psyu,tsjpi5rexswau8 ioswa0[uo ju5 qaojt p0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsn gr;osmtrgo;hwmneo;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq7uieswajnhgaqohwg 5ru9psyu,tsjp i5re xswau8io swa0[uoju5qao jtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dlfnsngr;osmtrgo;hwmneo ;pj5w93ng[qpgeu8qpw9ju8n9oihv79opuiesgnjh5roq 7uieswajnhgaqo hwg5ru9psyu,tsjpi5 rex wau8ioswa0[uoju5qaojtp0om8qaoq5jaqlnhgowsan
dvsfahbtrd'lkgbvewsam0ofiimfdohmgods
sdtrpijotgk8esw08gjpj85ew8pg8j5eimg4w9pvmwo9pmg9opwe8j8tiwvj9 8pwjtg9p8jt9p;gwi9evs9j8vw0ojgf0ubj98hbg tjnyhet
jaez ju
dtk
ryjre5jnutfjnuyhgfjnrtnertybvyertbv
ewgt
e3wh46tyhdhye
onusdgnifventro9ugerunoigenuignw4ouneoijh guvifn muigonv4rikjhngnwe jkfhxnjikgnfv iodsuhnvujwnl uifhetr
09vnjgi4opwjkmev9fomrfe jngiuoimgrimiofkm0iowremoifj8f irounrfhpn 98h e9pfhw7p9frfe
fniu34` 8 fh97f8h987jn5iuhf bruyhg089hwuei ojg8vwsnoijvhtis lj8g90h4nwerwjh8g97iewausjhgr7tuinhwjtg08higt
gieuyfbiwgerop v jhiutvgj98uigntve908ghybvkotrkg9uin g tmrfjhiutgfe908 9hygbthfekdfjuiyghvfd8 9g7uiygfnujtg8vrfwgehjfojkgtr
t5gbrkjkigtjkhigtruijkiwr,f.oir90ouikgdef swouie is oui4w3 qirjkeki8gt9uo4ir8tiuyr gf-08hybvd0uygh3roe vf9i87uigref
fgrv8gunjltbgruijnokgthb yfioygfij

Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:42:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I can't believe I only just got round to reading that (I think).

Outstanding.

Submitted by bordello (user info) at 2006-02-26 04:34:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I'm don't know if it explains away the magic, but I believe the reason for all the hits is that when people are looking for say Pink Floyd, they get the identity of that video stored in each shared copy regardless of the name. Example: I look for Capote and find a list of titles with the word "Capote", but other people have the exact same file without the keyword in it; the integrity of the file remains the same, because while you have "Emu Cock Legal Wonderbread" or whatever, the exact file on another computer is called "Pink Floyd- The Wall (live)" and you share in on the upload. If I'm wrong, I'd like to know.

Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-02-24 22:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

299959 hits....

Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2006-02-22 16:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

You are truly a sick and twisted genius. Truly chuckalacious.

Submitted by Doberish (user info) at 2006-02-20 23:04:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

You suck.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/84167

Submitted by nunyabiznaz (user info) at 2006-01-16 00:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

nicely done dog

Submitted by nunyabiznaz (user info) at 2006-01-15 13:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Captain_Zombie (user info) at 2006-01-14 10:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Fucking awesome man. I salute you.

Submitted by Ditka (user info) at 2006-01-07 18:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

a true post if ever there was one

Submitted by concerthead (user info) at 2005-12-09 22:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Way to amuse yourself dude

Submitted by plastiq (user info) at 2005-12-07 19:19:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Hahaha

Submitted by boy (user info) at 2005-12-04 02:55:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

led zepplin sucks. i hope i get a reaction so some reads my posts now.

Submitted by Dr.Gonzo (user info) at 2005-12-02 20:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 as this is the post that introduced me to ubersite!

Submitted by Kidmc (user info) at 2005-11-28 06:24:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

Fcking brilliant! there are sum sick fcks out there

Submitted by fusion88 (user info) at 2005-11-14 03:20:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

hahah the pic of them videos is funny fuck its so true sick bastards

Submitted by yuvalset (user info) at 2005-11-10 05:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

very good. But, you wouldn't want people to start thinking about the emu's vicious dump, now would you? so give it a bad rating and say it's good, is my way of doing things.

Submitted by MrHappyPants (user info) at 2005-11-09 14:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/78654

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-11-04 16:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

In case anyone's wondering, the popularity of this post and several others later on in the year is essentially the reason we don't have the most recently viewed list anymore. It killed the servers.

/historylesson

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-10-30 16:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.bash.org/?572066

bahahahahahahaha

Submitted by tamcginn (user info) at 2005-10-03 07:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

If it's possible to piss your pants and spit coffee out of your nose at the same time...I think I did it while I was reading this! It was the the comment about the emu that did finally me in!!

Submitted by moopadoopdoop (user info) at 2005-09-28 15:38:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD NOT LIKE THOSE OTHER LOLs

Submitted by shark25 (user info) at 2005-09-08 14:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

What the Link Whore?

http://www.ubersite.com/m/74769

Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2005-08-25 16:48:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I didn't download any of those to jerk to them.

Just like you didn't download the REO Speedwagon video to jerk to.

Or did you?

Submitted by studentworker (user info) at 2005-08-25 09:07:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by jet_stream_nz (user info) at 2005-08-20 14:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I may have tried to Download one or more of these files ... However I am not prepared to says which ones ...

LOL

Submitted by Kindred (user info) at 2005-08-03 02:08:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You always crack me up

http://www.ubersite.com/m/72348

Classic!

Submitted by Leopold525 (user info) at 2005-07-28 16:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Truly amusing way to kill some extra time

Submitted by krissi (user info) at 2005-07-28 16:13:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HAHAHA!

Submitted by Gendo (user info) at 2005-07-28 15:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

[garbage deleted by bart]

Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-07-26 00:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/70277

Submitted by TheJollyMisanthrope (user info) at 2005-07-15 13:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Old men jerking it with DW-40 on their grandbabies

Submitted by mush (user info) at 2005-07-09 12:24:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-06-30 02:48:32 (#)
Ranking: -1

Dude...most of the file sharing programs out there won't show your title...they'll just compare your file size (down to the byte) and other various characteristics to other files being shared, and match it up that way...in short, I'm guessing very few people were actually trying to download your twisted titles...most were looking for the actual file you were offering, but your title wasn't shown...

---------

You're an idiot.

Submitted by spamtrap50 (user info) at 2005-06-30 02:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Dude...most of the file sharing programs out there won't show your title...they'll just compare your file size (down to the byte) and other various characteristics to other files being shared, and match it up that way...in short, I'm guessing very few people were actually trying to download your twisted titles...most were looking for the actual file you were offering, but your title wasn't shown...

Submitted by Stellar5446 (user info) at 2005-06-30 02:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HELL YES! YES! AND HELL! YES!

Submitted by crazybutsolazy (user info) at 2005-06-27 22:15:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

OMG I sent this to every single person I have EVER known. Best thing I think i have ever read! props to u!!

Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Know what? I have lime wire...

I think I should try some experiment like this.....

Submitted by Pr0j3ct (user info) at 2005-06-27 13:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I've been reading Ubersite for so long...but I could never login correctly at work (government bullshit), so I could never verify my Email address. Finally I did it at home and now I am here to do what I've wanted to do for sooooo long...
PLUS
FUCKING
TWO!

Submitted by icanusebigwords2 (user info) at 2005-06-16 18:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I have sent this to all my friends. YOU ARE MY HERO!

Submitted by NumLock (user info) at 2005-06-14 13:35:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by soapXdestruction (user info) at 2005-06-14 09:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hilarious. now i want to try it. hm.......

Submitted by WhatDoesThisButtonDo (user info) at 2005-06-14 06:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by NiNiCraft (user info) at 2005-06-11 21:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by Katelyn (user info) at 2005-06-02 03:56:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by picow (user info) at 2005-06-01 21:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hahaha priceless.

Submitted by goose (user info) at 2005-05-17 14:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-05-15 06:50:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This amazing piece of work should be #1 again.

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Because you reviewing it will get it 20000 hits.

Submitted by Skippy (user info) at 2005-05-06 03:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

lets get it back to no1!

Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2005-05-06 02:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by baking_Lady (user info) at 2005-04-23 04:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2005-04-05 01:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom I'm concerned about your weight problem.

Tom The Uber: I got accosted by a large african american tow truck man today.
Uberstrip: did you bang her?
Tom The Uber: man
Tom The Uber: MAN
Tom The Uber: male
Uberstrip: yes, did you?
Tom The Uber: No
Uberstrip: me neither
Tom The Uber: Somewhere between "Hi, it's in the garage, hold on, I'll open the garage door so you can get it" he came to the conclusion that I was acting like a jackass and had a bad attitude
Uberstrip: I woulda puched the fuck out
Tom The Uber: I have quite a number of black friends, and they always tell me that about one in five will randomly pull the racist card.
Uberstrip: hilariuos
Tom The Uber: he ended up calling my mother and telling her that I had a bad attitude
Tom The Uber: so she yelled at me
Tom The Uber: and I pretty much told her to go fuck herself
Tom The Uber: because she doesn't like me
Uberstrip: so kill her
Tom The Uber: Trust me, it's tempting.
Uberstrip: does she hate you because you're so fat?
Tom The Uber: She acts like the point of all evil is because I was born.
Tom The Uber: She actually complains that I'm too thin.
Uberstrip: I think you should kill her
Uberstrip: use a stolen gun
Uberstrip: no one will care
Tom The Uber: I think I'd rather let her live.
Tom The Uber: She's got herself convinced that her life sucks. It'd be funny if it was funny.
Uberstrip: two to the back of the neck
Uberstrip: bang bang
Uberstrip: slump
Uberstrip: no more problem
Tom The Uber: yeah except I don't want to be an orphan just yet

Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

But what the fuck were you doing listening to Flock of Seagulls?

Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:45:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

C'mon. You people are just attracted to the word "cum", apparently.

Not that it wasn't a great post.

Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:42:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/29438

Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-31 03:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I prefer this one.

Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-31 02:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Lost the spot on MVM...

C'mon people. 500 more hits. This was better than "if I cum now".

Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-03-30 16:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Man i always see these weird videos on limewire. It was U!

http://www.FreePSPs.com/?r=16768803

Submitted by Thirty_Four_Eggs (user info) at 2005-03-17 22:56:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/62179

Submitted by Thirty_Four_Eggs (user info) at 2005-03-14 21:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Reviewer 1000 wins a prize.

Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-03-13 17:55:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/58223

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____88____888____88_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
8888_____8__88_______________8888
8888______888_________________888
8888________88_________________88
8888__________88_______________88
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8888_____________88___________888
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88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____88____888____88_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
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8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
8888_____8__88_______________8888
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8888________88_________________88
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88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
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88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
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8888________88_________________88
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8888_____________88___________888
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8888_______________8_________8888
88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____88____888____88_____8888
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8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
8888_____8__88_______________8888
8888______888_________________888
8888________88_________________88
8888__________88_______________88
8888____________88_____________88
8888_____________88___________888
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8888_______________8_________8888
88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____88____888____88_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
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8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8______8______8_____8888
8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
8888_____8__88_______________8888
8888______888_________________888
8888________88_________________88
8888__________88_______________88
8888____________88_____________88
8888_____________88___________888
8888______________8___________888
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8888_______________8_________8888
88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

Yeah great post....

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-03-10 19:25:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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8888_____8___88_____________88888
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8888_____________88___________888
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8888_______________8_________8888
88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
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88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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8888_____8___88_____________88888
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8888______888_________________888
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88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
8888_____8__88_______________8888
8888______888_________________888
8888________88_________________88
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8888_____________88___________888
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88888_______________________88888
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888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____88____888____88_____8888
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8888_____8____8888888888888888888
8888_____8___88_____________88888
8888_____8__88_______________8888
8888______888_________________888
8888________88_________________88
8888__________88_______________88
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8888_____________88___________888
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8888_______________8_________8888
88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

somebody say steak?

Submitted by PokerIsMyLife (user info) at 2005-03-10 04:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't know if anyone's mentioned this before, but it's very hard to fool a lot of P2P servers into thinking a music file (.midi/.mp3/etc.) is a movie file.

But I'm not about to discard the possibility these people actually wanted sound files of elephants mating or naked dancing boys eating pie.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:19:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

I'm a jealous asshole so here's a -2.

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:09:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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888888888888888888888888888888888

888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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888888888888888888888888888888888
88888___88888888888888888___88888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
8888_____888888888888888_____8888
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88888_______________________88888
888888_____________________888888
888888888888888888888888888888888

Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy fuck! 230603 hits!

Is that some kind of record or something?

Submitted by Supercords (user info) at 2005-03-08 15:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2005-03-07 18:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/61388

Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2005-03-02 21:26:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I guess I'll give this a +2. I never did before.

Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-02-28 01:14:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/60787

Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-26 04:19:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

More hits than a crack addict in an abandoned police station

Submitted by icarus9mm (user info) at 2005-02-20 02:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

people still rate this?

jesus.

go here: http://spacefed.com/gc/?in=198146

Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-02-19 05:41:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2005-02-18 09:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

TOM

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-02-15 20:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Go to hell.

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-02-12 17:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I thought of this idea first. Give me money. Give me hits.

-2

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I want my royalty checks.

Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-02-08 21:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Rating: 1.62 on 666 reviews

ITS TEH FUCKIN ANTICHRIST!

Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-02-08 18:10:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

britney spears topless!!!12!!#eleven http://www.ubersite.com/m/59041

Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-02-06 03:45:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

One a scale of 1 to REALLY odd....

where does this fit?

http://www.ubersite.com/m/58758

Submitted by parkinsons (user info) at 2005-01-31 23:34:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

fucking hilarious
just fucking hilarious

Submitted by CommieHeart81 (user info) at 2005-01-28 09:47:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

this shit is hilarious, and i commend you, tom, on showing me just how little of my time it is worth to even bother trying to find a reason why not to give up on people. i think i fell a little in love after i read this story. awesome.
oh, and already does not have two 'l's when it is one word. when you want to use two 'l's it's like this: um, it looks like we're all ready to go. one 'l': it's already time to leave. i truly hate when people try to act so smart when they don't have a clue.
but tom, i love you.

Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-28 01:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 because it's not down yet even though it's after 1:30

Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-01-28 01:29:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

-2 because uber is shutting down. Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-27 05:24:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2

Allready has two ll's rad fuckwit. learn to spell, before you cast dispersions upon others!

Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-01-27 04:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Ban this idiot already
l
l
l
l
l
l
l
\/

Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-01-27 04:43:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

what the hell man if they are comin at ya,means they want somthin,more better you look after them and care for them,than they get on the stret uh?

Submitted by Wanker (user info) at 2005-01-25 15:05:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-01-24 16:39:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

It's schlongy!!...http://www.ubersite.com/m/57566

Submitted by briancte (user info) at 2005-01-23 18:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

this thing has been on most viewed way to long!

link whore http://clicktoexit.net

Submitted by Silja (user info) at 2005-01-23 17:53:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I realized I've never rated this either.... Classic :)

Submitted by mazman23 (user info) at 2005-01-17 11:22:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I have seen the light and the light is Vermin

http://www.ubersite.com/m/56905

Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-01-10 15:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

The next post is funny,
Not just for the writing;
It's full of Blink fans who
Should be hit by lightning.

Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2005-01-05 06:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I also have never +2'd this, but it deserves it.

Submitted by skrew_ball (user info) at 2005-01-05 06:26:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Maybe my favorite post of all time. Never +2ed before, but here it is. Yes, truly, the kicker of all ass.

Submitted by Rutabaga (user info) at 2004-12-27 09:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by bob (user info) at 2004-12-25 01:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2004-12-22 20:28:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-12-16 23:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Haha, I made some of those songs. Check them out here, http://www.ubersite.com/m/53924

Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2004-12-14 23:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Reference :http://www.ajc.com/hp/content/auto/epaper/editions/today/metro_14ebb80c008cc156005e.html

Some people are using "Naked Boys Singing" to try to get The Armory's liquor license revoked because it's a gay bar.

Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2004-12-12 00:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Every time I bass a bingo hall or a VFW or something, I see the words "Grandma Bingo Sex" on the board...

My friends think I'm nuts...

Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2004-12-11 23:46:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 because I started laughing about the Emu comment in my car the other day. I was just driving along and thought about it. I laughed for about half an hour.

I just can't believe that this has so many hits. Unfuckingbelievable.

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-12-05 19:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

this is almost as funny as this:

http://www.ubersite.com/m/53179

and this:

http://www.ubersite.com/m/53250

but good try.

Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-12-05 19:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Look at the number of hits on this!

Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-12-05 19:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No matter how much I read this it makes me laugh...

Submitted by Quasiplasmohedron (user info) at 2004-12-04 18:10:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Apparently I never rated this.

Submitted by Wuzi (user info) at 2004-11-29 01:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

fucking hilarious man

Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2004-11-28 00:47:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I gotta +2 this again

Submitted by briancte (user info) at 2004-11-27 23:25:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.HotTeenSlutsFucking.com

Submitted by briancte (user info) at 2004-11-26 21:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

know what's evan better http://www.ubersite.com/m/52748

Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2004-11-26 09:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Brilliant

Submitted by Hugeos (user info) at 2004-11-24 11:02:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Jesus, how many times has that point been made? WE KNOW AND WE DON'T CARE.

Submitted by Aquarius2nv (user info) at 2004-11-18 17:04:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

You do know that even though the name changes the file is still associated with the original file on network you are dwnloading from right. havent you ever noticed that when you expand the file name that sometimes there are files with different names but are the same file... same size... same bitrate... but still the same file. not to mention that the keywords that associate with that file is still there. so if that file you call "whatever" still has "sex, oral, facial," in the keywords people are going to just click it without even looking at the file name. especially when they have a fast connection. cuz usually i just click on the first 10 things to pop up and sort them later.

Submitted by barryap (user info) at 2004-11-18 15:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Dick_Donkeysaber (user info) at 2004-11-18 00:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Brokenwing (user info) at 2004-11-15 22:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

es rock
I downloaded the emu taking viscious dump some time ago

Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2004-11-13 15:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

200k...woo!

Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2004-11-12 18:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Well, congrats on 200k.

Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2004-11-12 14:50:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

"An emu taking a vicious dump."

I'd watch that.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-11-12 11:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

I ejaculate with glee!

Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2004-11-11 15:50:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

I have never reviewed and therefore feel obligated. I laugh every time that I read this and am presently on the hunt for various animals taking vicious dumps. So far, my collection of footage includes, but is not limited to, ring-tailed lemurs, duck-billed platypi, Thompson's gazelle, and various protozoa (using a microscope, naturally).

Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-11-10 11:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy shit... almost 200K hits...

Tom has found the holy grail of Uber.

Submitted by degree451 (user info) at 2004-11-10 11:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

The kicker of all ass, indeed. I laugh every time I read it.

Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-11-09 23:14:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/38535

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-11-08 23:45:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.freephotoiPods.com/?r=11667665

Submitted by anonymous <anonymous> at 2004-11-08 22:29:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

WOW! I actually laughed out loud when i read that. But on a serious note, while many may have been people, it could have been a crapload of leechers set to automatically download anything with one of the keywords. maybe the emu one was downloaded by all the leechers auto-looking for emulators, atc.

Submitted by THE brendan at 2004-11-05 00:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I MUST SEE YOU GRANDMA!
ps. i was "the" brendan way before you were born

and i own an emu farm... got some good shit on security cams... heh

Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2004-11-04 21:52:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

Mr friend said he saw "Emu taking vicious dump" on worldsex.com

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2004-11-03 22:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

This is perhaps one of the greatest posts on ubersite. You have to wonder though if anyone currently registered on ubersite can make a post that can surpass this.

Submitted by D.O.A (user info) at 2004-11-03 20:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

registered just to review this.

good shit.

Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2004-11-02 02:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

Seriously, if this doesnt get B@W...

Submitted by Fish3000 (user info) at 2004-11-02 02:11:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/50338

Submitted by briancte (user info) at 2004-11-01 20:39:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2

win will this madnes end ¿ ive seen this post her for evar !

Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-10-28 15:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Just poop

Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2004-10-28 14:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/49941

Submitted by bdakotac (user info) at 2004-10-27 00:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dude, that is the funniest shit I have read in a long time!

I am going to try that! I can come up with a few!

Submitted by FuckTheArmy (user info) at 2004-10-26 08:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dude. Sick. But seriously, you said you were a twisted fuck. I should have been better prepared. Love it. Just as long as you don't enforce it on other people, you're welcome to join the revolution when it happens.
Foxtrot Tango Alpha. My ass is mine.

Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2004-10-25 20:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

+2 for being hilarious
-2 for having shitty taste in music.

Submitted by Pringles4eva (user info) at 2004-10-25 02:42:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/45753

Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2004-10-24 18:56:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Can't believe people are using this page as one big portal to hitwhore their own posts.

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-10-24 18:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/49541 - something about Baseball.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-24 13:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

195605 hits
600 reviews

That means only 0.00306740625239641113468469619897242% of people viewing this actually bother to rate it.

That's got to be some sort of record?

Submitted by ForeSkin (user info) at 2004-10-24 02:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/49454 << Naked boys dancing naked, eating POOP

Submitted by Fish3000 (user info) at 2004-10-23 20:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Awesome. I don't think anyone'd jack off to an emu shitting, maybe they were high and thought it'd be funny.

Submitted by skoobiesnaks (user info) at 2004-10-23 15:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/49437

Submitted by Icyshelf <icyshelf.at.netscape.net> at 2004-10-21 19:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

...Dude.

Submitted by CornerNoob <tribesquirrel@yahoo.> at 2004-10-20 14:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

That is not what I call exploiting. But I give you credit for changing file names. I did that shit to viruses all the time. shitball eater.

Submitted by Kold (user info) at 2004-10-19 09:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

lol. WTF P2P proggy were you using. Man I gotta try this.

female_goat_lactating_on_catholic_school_boy
6_inch_asian_penis (A ripley's exclusive)
giant_squid_masterbating_in_public

lol. too funny

Submitted by original_cola (user info) at 2004-10-15 20:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

link whore and a +2

www.aolsux.us

Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2004-10-15 03:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Classic example of a hitwhore:

http://www.ubersite.com/m/48413

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-14 23:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Infuriated Cockmongrel

Submitted by frood (user info) at 2004-10-12 23:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The party room in hell will be a lot of fun.

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-10-12 12:56:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

this post needs some heat

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-10-12 12:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

G-Prime is mah baby daddy.

Submitted by original_cola (user info) at 2004-10-11 20:50:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

how has then been here for so many months? sweet!

Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2004-10-09 17:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/31030

great hit whore example

Submitted by Prez (user info) at 2004-10-09 16:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was the first post I ever read here on Uber. It opened the floodgate. I am addicted.

Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2004-10-08 12:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You have great taste in music.

Submitted by Stauquin (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:53:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by letpandasdie (user info) at 2004-10-07 13:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Thats fucking fantastic. Serves the sick one armed stay-at-home wankers right.

You sir, are a genius. fancy a laugh? look at http://www.letpandasdie.com

Submitted by JonnyBoy (user info) at 2004-10-07 00:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Don't ban me Bart....

I love you.... (Ha, it always works with my parents!)

Submitted by untito (user info) at 2004-10-06 16:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Great.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-10-05 06:05:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

This post is awful.

Submitted by Xile (user info) at 2004-10-03 18:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

You don't even have to try.... I once had a "anything with lots of random characters at the beginning is INCOMPLETE eg - j342hjkjhkjhdfjkh328798ooifaxxxporno.avi".txt and not only did I get people messaging me asking as to why some files werent working I also got a few "YOUR PORN DOESNT WORK DUDE!!!1!11111!!1!!11!!1!"

Submitted by aim = pollard2k4 <pollard2k4.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-02 01:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

LMFAO X 10

omfg dude, there are some fucking sick people in the world. man thats a great idea, fuckin funny as hell.

it aint often i read something on the net that makes me laugh :)

Submitted by nelohalo <firewallmonster.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-10-01 17:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

someone give this man a medal

Submitted by stabitha (user info) at 2004-09-28 00:46:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"An emu taking a vicious dump" that is about the funniest thing I have ever read.

Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2004-09-27 22:42:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I never rated this

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-09-23 16:16:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

if you like this post, you'll love http://www.ubersite.com/m/45753

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-23 09:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/45881

Submitted by Spider-Man (user info) at 2004-09-20 15:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Very funny

Submitted by Spider-Man (user info) at 2004-09-20 15:25:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funny

Submitted by none here <none.at.here.com> at 2004-09-20 04:00:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Disturbing...... but FUNNY!!!!

Submitted by Untitled_User (user info) at 2004-09-18 13:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

this Krautski fucker needs his ass kicked.
nice article man. i get tired of people renaming shit, especially games. how is it even humorous? seriously. your case was different. THAT is funny. STOP RENAMING GAMES FUCKERS

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2004-09-14 08:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Gram_Cracker (user info) at 2004-09-13 23:42:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i think kicker of all ass basically sums it up

Submitted by Dino (user info) at 2004-09-13 21:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Jennifer (user info) at 2004-09-10 15:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

"Girl on girl toe insertion (LEGAL)" Legal... haha.

"How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!"

Submitted by danielh <daniel.at.writerspacemail.com> at 2004-09-09 02:45:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

This was "funny sick" but I saw way funnier-sicker stuff on the internet back in early '90s. Keep posting! You're way funny. Just look out over the edge, not in your rearview. -d

Submitted by Bluenote_betty <kansas_girljb.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-09-08 17:00:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

this was posted months ago. RERUN!! RERUN!!

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-09-07 21:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The best post on Ubersite!

http://www.ubersite.com/m/44216 <--------free porn

Submitted by MacDaddySurge (user info) at 2004-09-07 20:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

i would have thought of something better like, "Bart Cilfone Playing Pocket Pool With a Potato"

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-09-07 18:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/44257

Or

http://www.ubersite.com/m/44257

Either way, people are going to prefer this than some porno that isn't even there.

Submitted by smokingman (user info) at 2004-09-06 06:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by NETHOS (user info) at 2004-09-05 11:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/u/NETHOS

FREE PORN FOR ALL!

Submitted by Murren <jomur777.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-09-01 18:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

bout the funniest thing ive read for awhile.....definately +2

Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-09-01 17:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2004-08-17 21:03:02 (#)
Ranking: 2

Muy Bueno!

--------------------------------------

holy shit.

BAHAAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!

Submitted by will72 (user info) at 2004-09-01 17:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I was one of those 3 people!!! jk!!!!one!!!!!One!!!!!

Submitted by YellowDragon (user info) at 2004-09-01 16:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Well, Tom, it certainly is refreshing to see you at the top of the pile. Not that I ever thought you wouldn't get there, but Ryan Donovan's "The Grinch" movie review was getting stale sitting there on top.

I love you, you weird homeschooled little fuck.

YD

Submitted by IconOfBlasphemy (user info) at 2004-09-01 00:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nicely done, especially liked the term "donkey punched"

Submitted by NETHOS (user info) at 2004-08-30 17:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

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Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2004-08-30 14:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

CHING CHANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG!

Submitted by pilot_light (user info) at 2004-08-29 17:43:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Sir, you are a twisted genius, I salute you!!

Submitted by Takkun <greatfonzo.at.walla.com> at 2004-08-29 13:04:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

...........
I bow before you.

Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2004-08-28 10:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

absolutely hilarious. i love it. Hey.. who were the other two sickos?

Submitted by Fanatiqual (user info) at 2004-08-26 15:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

that was hillarious

Submitted by Id (user info) at 2004-08-26 11:54:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was the funniest, most disturbing thing ever. Congratulations!

Submitted by Jigga_poo (user info) at 2004-08-26 05:03:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

u fuckin suck dick assholee

Submitted by The_Other_Tom (user info) at 2004-08-25 23:57:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I rolled on the floor. I mean I rolled on the floor, laughing, crying, and came very close to soiling myself. Bravo!

Submitted by The_Walrus (user info) at 2004-08-25 23:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Haha, a just experiment

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-25 22:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Sorry to post a link on here, but I'd just like to point out the disturbing trend of Tom impersonators: http://www.ubersite.com/m/42913

Submitted by daleywaters (user info) at 2004-08-25 07:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I've just sacrificed 4 chickens to the gods who protect you. Beautiful.

Submitted by HarryFeltersnatch (user info) at 2004-08-19 02:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

>The first title I put up was "Naked boys dancing and eating cake."

And 36 bloody megs no less.
Damn you Tom, I was on dial-up. =(

Submitted by FetusesAreDelicious (user info) at 2004-08-19 01:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

NIpple... factory? Can you buy 'em in bulk? I've always wanted to purchase a gross of nipples.

Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2004-08-18 17:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.ubersite.com/m/31438

Submitted by Guerrilla (user info) at 2004-08-18 02:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's one thing to read a funny post. But when some of the comments are a just as funny. Makes me wish there was a +5 for a rating to give.

Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2004-08-17 21:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The best part was "the Tom."

FunnyAsCancer approves of the Tom.

Submitted by RandomJose (user info) at 2004-08-17 21:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Muy Bueno!

Submitted by sjmanikt (user info) at 2004-08-17 14:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I love it.

And...I have pics of an emu taking a vicious dump. Pay me and I'll share them.

Submitted by static_cling (user info) at 2004-08-16 15:45:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by imalozer (user info) at 2004-08-15 13:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by veins_of_glass (user info) at 2004-08-15 08:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fucking awesome.

Submitted by Wish_I_Were (user info) at 2004-08-14 06:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy fuck me up the ass and call me Shirley, but this made me giggle.

A lot.

Submitted by Malificent (user info) at 2004-08-13 05:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

People have started advertising their shit on this post. Shame on you!

Submitted by OhgrNaut (user info) at 2004-08-13 03:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I haven't cryed that hard in a long time. (Laughing cry.) That's as good as Conan's "If They Mated" bit.

Submitted by ubertits (user info) at 2004-08-12 23:32:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Naked boys eating cake?
Who are you? A fat scout master dishing out finger buns and saveloys?
Poofter.

Submitted by dobrovolets (user info) at 2004-08-12 16:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

So that explains it...

Submitted by ValakasDemon (user info) at 2004-08-09 15:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

As funny as this was, I kinda wonder WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??!!?!? Seriously, who the fuck looks up "An emu taking a vicious dump" or any of those other things?? What is wrong with our world that anyone would want to see someones grandma bent over a bingo table getting banged? Good post though, besides the disturbing amount of people downloading that crap.

Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2004-08-07 08:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I was just reading this again and realized.. I never commented.

Here we are almost 5 months later and I'm just getting around to it.

I have nothing to say about the post, mind you. Everyone already knows it's awesome.

Submitted by EvrenWasHere (user info) at 2004-08-04 03:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I don care who ye are, dats funny righ ther.

!
!
!
v

Submitted by ImRickJamesBitch (user info) at 2004-08-04 03:35:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

"Oral Medication"

A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when she's touched there.

So they go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."

The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Anything is worth a try, the husband thinks so he finally agrees and goes into his wife's room.

After a few minutes the woman's monitor shows a flatline...no pulse...no heart rate. The nurses run into the room.

The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants, says "I think she choked."

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-03 17:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://skip.to/madskills

meh yay uber cataclysmic goblet plinthe goo

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-08-01 16:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/default.aspx?referer=7584498
Free flat screen monitor or TV! Just sign up for eBay on the requirements page, place a bid (doesn't even have to be a winning bid), and get 8 friends to do the same! Don't forget to verify your email on the 'My Account' page.

FREE SHIT WOO

Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-08-01 02:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2, for obvious reasons....

It strikes me as funny that this one post alone would be enough for you to be the 15th most viewed author...but I guess you will have to settle with fourth

I wish I was you

Submitted by butterball (user info) at 2004-08-01 02:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2, for obvious reasons....

It strikes me as funny that this one post alone would be enough for you to be the 15th most viewed author...but I guess you will have to settle with fourth

Submitted by TeenageDirtBag (user info) at 2004-07-31 13:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

naked boys dancing around eating cake. were did u get that from?

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-07-28 16:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The way that some of these P2P systems operate, if a file is renamed, but still has the same contents, if someone searches for the original file, your computer will show up as a source, and people will download from you.

So: If you get (music) and rename it to (porn) then people looking for either (music) or (porn) will have a chance to try and download it from your computer.

(So I expect that you'd get quite a lot of 'false positives' from that)

(Also, some people will download files that look (um...) wrongly named - just to see what they are and fix the name!)

(then there's automatic downloaders (auto search, keyword match, enqueue for download))

Submitted by Chad <AiyoNAiwa.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-28 15:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I guess this is not the spot where I say i was one of the 3 people right?
Just kidding. Actually, your best bet when doing that kind of experiment is to NOT put any common sexually related words in it all. Some people are speed-downloading so they don't really know what they are downloading, they just know it has certain words in it. Sex, breast, nipple, and a lot of the worse ones get the most hits. I've done it. 3 people is nothing compaired to "anal dwelling items"
That's something to loose faith in humanity for.
-Chad

Submitted by mike <mikef188.at.aol.com> at 2004-07-28 04:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

funnier in other direction
label something that gets retahded amounts of downloads.
say, "hot girl fucking hot girl"
or "hot lesbians" or something.
but make it <i> actually </i> be grandma on grandma on grandpa's donkey action.

Submitted by glitter_junkie (user info) at 2004-07-27 09:11:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is easily as good as any of the instalments of the J-Date series.

Nice work.

Submitted by Jerems (user info) at 2004-07-27 00:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

holy crap i gotta try that.

Submitted by VaginaRavager (user info) at 2004-07-26 18:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by winowarrior (user info) at 2004-07-26 18:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Very amusing game. Funny piece, but don't lose faith in humanity....Wait, what am I saying? Continute, I'm sorry, had a momentary lapse of reasoning.

Submitted by Punk-not-dead (user info) at 2004-07-22 09:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

priceless

Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2004-07-21 00:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

whats wrong with wanting to see an emu take a dump?

Submitted by busy (user info) at 2004-07-20 02:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I must admit, Enraged Baboon fucking a nipple factory would be very enticing for me, simply because I would be overtaken with curiousity about what a nipple factory is, and what motions a baboon goes through to fuck one.

Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2004-07-15 18:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

When I first downloaded "emu taking a dump" and was immediately disappointed, I never knew I would later find out that the author was you.

Submitted by aguynamedgoo (user info) at 2004-07-15 06:10:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I lost my faith in humanity when I realized there was Final Fantasy pregnant bondage child porn, but this further affirmed it. It's making me tempted to haul out my weird-ass Japanese music videos and try this little experiment on my own....

Submitted by Stormlord (user info) at 2004-07-15 05:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I wonder what these people look like o_O

Submitted by munado at 2004-07-14 00:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

haha, very funny!
especially when i realize it tells more about you than anything...
hehe the price of writing! have a blessed day

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-07-12 16:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Last bit of spam, but it is kind of related.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/38223

Submitted by Gnome (user info) at 2004-07-12 14:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

-

Submitted by Jackgar_Prime (user info) at 2004-07-12 12:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was so wrong that I nearly had convulsions reading this. That's right...this article almost gave me a seizure....but it was worth it, indeed.

ANd I lost all my faith in us long,long ago. Though I guess I didn't have nearly as good a reason to as this.

Submitted by CaptainObvious (user info) at 2004-07-12 00:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Missed this one while I was playing in the sandbox. Way to go, Tom- Uber's golden boy!

Submitted by great_pen155 (user info) at 2004-07-11 05:44:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

''EPIC!''
Uber Today

Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2004-07-10 22:57:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

One of the top five best posts ever!

Submitted by mentisent8 <chikushou08.at.adelphia.net> at 2004-07-09 19:59:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Right on, fo'shizzle. *cough*

Submitted by LadyDi at 2004-07-09 09:46:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The best entry I've read here!!! CONGRATS!!

Submitted by SirLaitier (user info) at 2004-07-09 08:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I like this because I think that downloading bogus files has happened to everyone...finally someone took it a step further...

Submitted by Chief_Rugger (user info) at 2004-07-08 18:27:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Shut the fuck up JC, people will be indivduals, no matter how much you want a subserviant race of Yesmen for jesus.

Submitted by wezman2k <wezman2k.at.charter.net> at 2004-07-07 16:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

LOLOL OL OL O LOL ROFL FMASODMA LOMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@#$!@$#!%@#$@#$@!!!11!!1

SOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY!!!!!!!!@@$#@#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHA

eh........?

Submitted by JeremiahC (user info) at 2004-07-07 12:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You see where we are going? If people are interested in this filth now, imagine what will happen in a few years! http://www.ubersite.com/m/37725 This is the only way to stop the downslide!

Submitted by koreanboi2030 <koreanboi3.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-04 20:36:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I NO DANC NAKID WIH CAK! YU SILLY IT LIK EHHH USA OXPRESSION UEHH SITING ON SCISSORRSIES?

Submitted by Cjad_teh_Nord (user info) at 2004-07-04 00:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wow! This is probably as good as that prank on the Conneticut (I believe) Local News 14 channel when they put fake business names up on the "Closed" ticker!

"l3a7 5p34k Linguistic Services"

+2, for showing up an immeasurable amount of the populace as disgusting.

Submitted by Jarvis <jar2.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-03 03:59:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

That was shite, really funny guys, not!

Submitted by dolfin (user info) at 2004-07-03 01:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Thats awesome.. I know on LimeWire if you watch the incoming searches, some people do search for crazy shit... hi-frigging-larious

Submitted by Mick (user info) at 2004-07-03 00:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

the only people who didn't find this funny are the people who downloaded that stuff

Submitted by Tom <tombarnes3.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-02 11:15:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I laughed for all of no time whatsoever, you really are fucked up kid you know that. Load os bollocks, complete and utter waste of time.

Submitted by lou xxx <kinkyKITTEN.at.aol.com> at 2004-07-01 09:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

oh my god. me an my mate couldnt
stop laughing after we read this.
YOU FUKIN RULE!!!!
LOTS A LUV LOUISE N KELLY XXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Submitted by geofroley (user info) at 2004-07-01 08:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

An emu taking a vicious dump . . . Fucking priceless.

Submitted by Slovin (user info) at 2004-07-01 01:08:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WHAT, JUST BECAUSE I'M BLACK?!

You fucker. Don't act like I didn't get that donut. When I get my sweater back I'm gunna trounce all over your face with it.

Submitted by Fish3000 (user info) at 2004-06-29 22:44:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Wow. That's......awesome.

Submitted by TripWire (user info) at 2004-06-29 22:31:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

many minutes spent laughing after reading this post. this is great. +2 for being so creative.

Submitted by Fluffhead (user info) at 2004-06-29 00:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

just cause

Submitted by Derick <dprime.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-29 00:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That was funny shit. My second favorite to "Always tip the Dunkin Donuts guy". hmm, im going to try this.

Submitted by Tom at 2004-06-28 21:01:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Well me, you did a good job.

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-06-28 02:27:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:13:07 (#)
Ranking: 2

be careful. don't want to end up on 'the list'
-------------------------

The first comment ever on this post. How ironic.

Submitted by DINOV8R (user info) at 2004-06-26 15:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Excellent...

Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2004-06-26 01:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom, this is possibly the funniest thing ever. Great idea, wish I had thought of it. I can laugh so casually because I lost faith in humanity at around 6:20pm Dec. 31st, 2001.

Submitted by AhPook (user info) at 2004-06-25 07:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Whoa breaking news there are perverts on the internet.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-06-24 23:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i would like to shake your hand for making all of us relize how fucked up our world is. now i will go cry in my room. and then maybe eat something, annd then go download some crazy shit off of a p2p network. all of us half sane ppl salute you.

Submitted by SR <sean.at.wanderingcaribou.com> at 2004-06-23 14:41:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

well done, now only if I knew how to download...

Submitted by StratRat9 at 2004-06-23 00:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HAHAHAH this is freaking HILARIOUS!

Submitted by Dr_Zaius <bob.at.bob.com> at 2004-06-21 17:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LMAO

Class :)

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-21 16:19:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

If you downloaded "Hot Lesbian Sex" and it turned out to be "Keep on Rolling" what would you do? You would either change it to its propper name again and keep it or delete it because it is not, in fact, hot lesbian sex.

Submitted by Pepe <a@b> at 2004-06-20 19:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Well well.

Its funny to change the name of a reo speedwagon clip to emu takin a dump, but whats terrible is people renaming 'hot anal gay sex' to 'kill bill vol2 dvdrip'. Bring death penalty back for those people!! (oh in america you still have it. APPLY IT!!!)

Submitted by Tom at 2004-06-20 15:30:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

So out of all those downloads that you got not one person might be sharing any of those? Pictures can be edited, youcould have dildo'd around with the words.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-20 14:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I must also note how difficult it is to make something up when you also have a photograph of it.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-06-20 14:15:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I wrote this post nearly three months ago. You think I'm still sharing this stuff? Mhm.

Submitted by Tom <Koopaking03.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-20 14:09:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Nice bullshit post. I tried to look up that shit, nothing showed up. I hope you get cancer.

Submitted by Skullcrusher (user info) at 2004-06-19 19:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I can't stand when monkey fucks change the file names but this was pretty hilarious.

Submitted by Cyber at 2004-06-19 13:04:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Hmm, its ok, but hardly original and ground breaking. twats like that have been re naming their file names to sponge files off other legit sharers for years now. Ok, so its funny to look at it from a different perspective but the guy was most likely being parasitic and finding a way to get his smut for free

Definitely wouldnt have me in stitches and having asthma attacks, but there again, im not american ;o)

Submitted by CobraCommander (user info) at 2004-06-16 18:46:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Amazing

Submitted by broz2004 (user info) at 2004-06-15 11:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

you know you've got a winner when coworkers will casually stroll by the office door and try to peer at what you're cracking up about... excellent.

Submitted by Fishtits at 2004-06-15 10:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom, I really don't know if you're a wanker or not, but a huge +2 for making people like tom-cancer (fat dude with small penis) angry. Stir the pot.

Submitted by MisterD (user info) at 2004-06-15 03:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

class

pure class

Submitted by DlESEL (user info) at 2004-06-15 01:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You stupid little fucking nerd

Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-06-13 17:19:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-06-06 19:47:16 (#)
Ranking: 0

i read this way at the bottom

Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-04-05 08:57:14 (#)
Ranking: 2

In the words of Alex from Hackers 2: Takedown:

"Oh shit, that is awesome... that is awesome"

------------------

was that a sequel to Hackers, the movie with Angelina Jolie. I loved that movie, and need anybody who knows anything about this to help me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was NOT a sequel to Hackers. It was a movie that (rather one-sidedly) told the story of Kevin Mitnick. It hasn't been released in the US, and probably never will be because the story is STILL controversial.

Submitted by ohyes (user info) at 2004-06-13 17:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Fluffhead (user info) at 2004-06-13 17:02:16 (#)
Ranking: -2

Tom is gay

//////////////////////////

hahah

Submitted by Fluffhead (user info) at 2004-06-13 17:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Tom is gay

Submitted by Plus_Two_Woo (user info) at 2004-06-13 12:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

PLUS TWO WOO!

Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2004-06-13 05:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wow; this was a big laugh.

Submitted by alveenie (user info) at 2004-06-10 21:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

jeanious

Submitted by rayford (user info) at 2004-06-07 08:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by A-Daamage (user info) at 2004-06-07 06:41:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 just because you've become a whipping-boy as of late for your picture series. Too many people here take things FAR too seriously. It's a fucking website, people.

Submitted by Allan <allanbutton.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-06-07 04:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Thats why all my downloads where screwed up! jerk ass!

Submitted by MCB <MCb.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-06-07 00:23:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2004-06-06 22:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I haven't laughed that hard since Maddox's children's artwork piece.

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-06-06 19:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Can't this die already?

Submitted by gain (user info) at 2004-06-06 19:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i read this way at the bottom

Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-04-05 08:57:14 (#)
Ranking: 2

In the words of Alex from Hackers 2: Takedown:

"Oh shit, that is awesome... that is awesome"

------------------

was that a sequel to Hackers, the movie with Angelina Jolie. I loved that movie, and need anybody who knows anything about this to help me.

Submitted by A-Rob (user info) at 2004-06-06 19:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Very Good Piece-
Very Enjoyable read-

Submitted by Jill (user info) at 2004-06-06 19:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funny stuff Tom.

Submitted by Fr057m0urn3 (user info) at 2004-06-06 11:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

of course.

Submitted by PornKing <Cock.at.munchers.com> at 2004-06-06 05:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I think that this thread is v funny, but not just because those people are sad enough to download those files but you are sad enough to spend loads of time trying to see who would download them! Get a life u LAMO

Submitted by Sicgrrl (user info) at 2004-06-05 11:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

my middle names thomas - i fucking hate my middle name.

Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-06-05 04:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Nobody loves Badman.

Nobody.

Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2004-06-04 19:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Very, very funny. A sad reality, too.

Submitted by UsernameRequired (user info) at 2004-06-04 18:21:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funniest. Post. Ever.

Submitted by badman <brummie92.at.lycos.co.uk> at 2004-06-04 17:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

That was so fucking shit it was unbelivable, sorry to sound like simon cowell but my gosh it sounded like a fat mans sweaty crack about to shit himself it was that dirty and pervey. These ppl who think it a was good are fucking dumber than u.k viewers voting a fat cunt as a pop idol dont you agree . I think that you should really get a day job and stop perving over an ugly bitch geting grass stuck up her crack naked you are just a nobend who needs to get a day job and stop downloading a lot of dirty old women making money in the toilets at bingo you fuckin prick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2004-06-03 17:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

My god that was funny!

Submitted by Aaron at 2004-06-02 19:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't know where I got this from but I have a link to it on my website. Whenever I need something to laugh at, I read this. You are definately a sick-minded person. That's another reason I don't download off P2P networks. 95% of the songs I have seen are junk. Most turn out to be false songs or other things such as this. Congrats on almost 150,000 hits.

Submitted by katie <katiedragonlady.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-05-30 16:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

oh, god! people are strange! LMAO!

Submitted by lei (user info) at 2004-05-29 18:41:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dude, i'll try it myself - that'll put my Kazaa rating into outer space!

Submitted by frolveda <frolveda.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-05-28 15:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Have you got a "Rummy porking an Emu"?

Submitted by Johan <johan snabel-a yamborii punkt> at 2004-05-28 06:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Goddamn! Don't EVER write anything like that again! My back's hurting like hell and my jaws are some how jammed because of you! This gold nugget should come with a warning sign! GREAT!!! =)

Submitted by Jays567 (user info) at 2004-05-27 15:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is probably the funniest thing on Uber.

Submitted by bobby <notgivinit.at.fugettaboutit.com> at 2004-05-27 00:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hilarious

Submitted by tom-aneurysm (user info) at 2004-05-26 20:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

The guy's just a hit-whore. BFD.

Submitted by nestorm4 (user info) at 2004-05-26 17:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

You son of a bitch! you're the kind or person I hate the most in this world, don't you have anything else better to do. I try to download my porn and bam! because of a mother fucker like you what do i get? Barney the stupid dancing dinasour. How would you like me to share the video of when you fucked your mom and name it "fat ass cow lady fucked by son"

Submitted by Stina <clcampion.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-05-26 09:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

This post made me laugh. Not, like, outrageously, but I was B@W and hey, it did exactly what it said on the tin. Now, I read a lot of the posts on ubersite through B@W, and I often read all of the rating comments as well and what I don't get (maybe it's because I'm English?) is the need some people have to tear others down in balls of flame. It was an entertaining post, so why do a few people have to resort to personal abuse, vicious slanging and language which quite frankly any self-respecting sailor would be ashamed of to make the point that it wasn't as good a post as the last one? Unnecessary? I think so.

Submitted by disgruntled (user info) at 2004-05-25 01:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Possible motivations in those sex crazed jerked minds:

1) Hot Lesbian Sex: Obvious. Hell even I'd download it.
2) Naked boys dancing and eating cake: Cake tastes good. So does whipped cream (on women, though). Either that, or people just wanted some cheap dance lessons.
3) My Ex-Girlfriend mowing the lawn naked: One of those giant novelty comb things. I mean really, how often do you get to see this?
4) Elephant cock horse: Sadistic people wanted to see the horse get crushed by the elephant's weight, ripped by the elephant's girth, or simply see the horse taking a shower--jiz shower (Maybe they were trying to learn how to bathe their ponies).
5) Grandma Bingo Sex: Ever heard of grandpa on viagra?
6) Girl on girl toe insertion (LEGAL): Medical students were training to see how to safely remove a foot from a person's ass while giving them an orgasm.
7) Enraged Baboon fucking a nipple factory: Monkies are cool. If Bart Simpson's motivation of going to Brazil could be to watch monkies, then why can't we download a video? We're mere mortals, afterall.

Nice prank, dude!

Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2004-05-25 01:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

not funny...

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-24 20:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

136023

I think the hits are beginning to slow.

Submitted by tom-aneurysm (user info) at 2004-05-24 10:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Yeah - in response to you tattling to your mummy on tom-cancer; Is this because you fight like a 3 year old quadriplegic comatose girl, while your mother is built (and looks) like a marine?

You PUSSY!

I say: Yay - Go tom-cancer!

Submitted by NAKEDMAMMAL (user info) at 2004-05-24 00:10:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I dont really see what the big deal is. I happen to be a huge fan of enraged baboon porn and the fact that you would decieve me like that is just morally wrong.

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-05-23 18:54:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Networking: I have lost all faith in humanity. (135200 hits)
Is that number right?

Submitted by tom-cancer (user info) at 2004-05-23 18:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Aneurysm, we could team up, one stabbing instrument each (one for each of toms eyeballs)

DP - cunt AND arse

sounds good t' me

Submitted by tom-aneurysm (user info) at 2004-05-23 18:00:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

tom - can I stab you in the face, film it and name it "penetrated CUNT" and share that? Go on...CAN I? CAN I? CAN I?!!!

Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-05-23 17:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Yeah Tom! You is the sucks!

http://www.ubersite.com/m/33918

N tom-cacner is abslutly rite, tom is stoopd an he shud lik, jus go away even thou he used limwyur an not kazaaaaaaaa.

you is teh stoopid, tom!""£&(!"¬¬¬¬````¬!"!"£!"oneoneonetwo

Submitted by tom-cancer (user info) at 2004-05-23 17:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

tom (cunt)
Go on; tell that slut whore of a mother of yours.
I'm sure she will just tell you to:
a) Fuck right off (a reaction I assume is automatic to you, when you dismally attempt to interact with any other member of the human race)
b) Play with piss soaked, meths drinking tramps or someone else who will actually even pretend to care, you sniveling worthless shit.
c) Overdose on sulphuric acid, then drown in concrete.

Of course she will be thinking "Bejayzus! Lord why did you have to have your sick little joke with me by making me spawn such an utter cretin? WHY O WHY didn't I shove a Coat hanger up my slimy fetid vag when that little cuntscum was conceived"

OK here's sick twisted humour fo yer -
Tom (the one who is as funny as diarrhea) getting dry grudge fucked and spit roast by a group of EXTREMELY well hung hairy fat black men, all of whom are pumped to the tits with Viagra.
Not forgetting foreplay with broken LARGE glass bottles, while having your fingers individually "massaged" by a substantial lump hammer.
Followed by having your penis slit in two with a dull rusty Stanley knife, then dressed with a generous splash of vinegar.

HA HA HA! Now that IS funny

...O by the way...you still haven't died yet, you sniveling little oik - If you would be so kind as to arrange that sooner (now) rather than later. Then I shall be most pleased, unless of course you are being kind enough to consider the SLOW grueling option, in which case - YAY twat! Even better, just remember to make sure its PAINFUL

Submitted by me <hjdhjdty.at.srtyhjr.com> at 2004-05-23 12:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

not that funny

Submitted by DoctorMonoculous (user info) at 2004-05-22 17:01:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dr. Monoculous approves of Tom.

Submitted by DumbMonkey at 2004-05-22 16:58:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That is absolute class. Funny as fuck.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-22 14:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Owie. You hurt my feelings. I'm telling my mommy on you.

Submitted by tom-cancer (user info) at 2004-05-22 12:08:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

That kind of "prank" is not even sick and twisted (dont get me wrong i love sick twisted humour) you are simply juvenille and banal.

Just die...
PLEASE!!

Submitted by tom-cancer (user info) at 2004-05-22 12:00:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

tom
You utter sad cunt. You really are a waste of skin,
I sincerely hope you SUFFER in a train crash (not die, just end up a complete vegetable) then contract a slow spreading painful cancer.

So you are the most viewed. Well whoop de fucking doo u worthless tosser - that wouldn't make much difference if my hope became reality and your next of kin had to make a choice of turning off your life support machine, or continue spoon feeding you retard slop for the rest of your sad twat existence.

In response to all your "fans" who say I'm just mardy because I didn't get emu shit or whatever - wrong ITS JUST NOT FUNNY OR CLEVER!

Its thanks to that sort of "funny"(childish) shit why I, along with many other DL freaks have uninstalled Kazaa and moved on too another fileshare program, where the MUSIC (note - not porn) is consistently and accurately titled.

The only thing electrical that you should be allowed near is a pylon with a noose hanging from it.
Fuck off and stick your tongue in the power supply and stop wasting people's HD space and DL time by polluting P2P software with mistitled files.

Wishing you a HORRIBLE, SLOW and PAINFULL death you pathetic UNfunny fucking prick.

Submitted by schulte123 (user info) at 2004-05-22 02:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

It is funny

Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-05-21 17:15:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I agree with Will. He doesn't even IM me anymore to tell me about the stupid shit his neighbors are doing, or how Bush pisses him off. I miss the old Tom. The one I used to have to ignore, not vice versa.

Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-05-21 15:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

The second this post went to number 1. Tom went from zero to asshole in about 7 seconds.

fame ruined the boy.

This is still a good post.

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-21 00:41:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

133383

Submitted by Hugeos (user info) at 2004-05-20 07:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by repsik (user info) at 2004-05-19 21:35:26 (#)
Ranking: -1

Im sorry to have to give you a negative score, but most P2P apps will go by the ID3 tag, not filename. Unless you changed the ID3, they'd still be getting the song when they searched for it.

------------------------------------------------

Yawn.

Tom, how many people have made this incredibly tedious point so far? 10? 20?

We don't care about the P2P, ID3, AW9 or BYOB. It's a funny post.

Submitted by repsik (user info) at 2004-05-19 21:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Im sorry to have to give you a negative score, but most P2P apps will go by the ID3 tag, not filename. Unless you changed the ID3, they'd still be getting the song when they searched for it.

Submitted by indigogecko (user info) at 2004-05-19 06:50:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

fantastic! *evil grin* must give it a go myself some time...

Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2004-05-18 11:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

emu taking a viscious dump... hahaha priceless...
i admit that is something i would download to see..
i mean what the fuck does an emu LOOK like taking a vicious dump???

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-05-17 17:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

One of these days, my Ubernamespoof will loiter among the greats.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/33305

Or...not.

Submitted by Webspam (user info) at 2004-05-17 13:11:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

haha sweet,

http://www.spacerace.tk

Submitted by Mighty Zorban <zorban.at.diatec.co.uk> at 2004-05-17 12:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

ah, totally hilarious. laughed hysterically by myself. now THAT doesn't ever happen when i'm straight. thank you.

Submitted by phlange <thufir.at.myrealbox.com> at 2004-05-17 10:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

you like kickass music man.

Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2004-05-17 10:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:10:10 (#)
Ranking: 2

Who types "exploiting peer to peer networking" into Google?

This doesn't have so many hits because he's a hitwhore. It has so many hits because it's been linked to hundreds of sites including B.at.W.com and collegehumor.com.
-------------------------

Sorry I wasn't trying to make tom sound like he was a hit whore. You ahve a fair point on the who types eploiting peer to peer networking. (actually I probably would)

It's a fantastic post and just shows you what one 15 year old can do when he's bored.

Submitted by Fabretti (user info) at 2004-05-16 10:56:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Very funny *commendable*

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-16 04:17:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

tom sucks my left nut

Submitted by Socially_Distorted (user info) at 2004-05-16 04:04:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

there are so many different versions of this...

i cant believe i havnt rated this yet...

Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-05-16 03:52:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/33190

WOWOWOWOWOWOOWO!!!!!!!11

Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-05-16 01:53:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

999,999,99-

ERROR, NUMBER OVERLOAD.

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-16 01:45:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

187,404,212.545

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-14 17:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

127643

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-14 16:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

127567

Submitted by Uncle (user info) at 2004-05-14 15:50:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is funny.

Submitted by Lucky (user info) at 2004-05-14 13:25:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

What are you talking about "who would type exploiting peer to peer into google?" That's how I first heard of this post!!

J/K :)

Submitted by Hugeos (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:13:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

and, to be fair, because it's so fucking funny...

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-05-14 12:10:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Who types "exploiting peer to peer networking" into Google?

This doesn't have so many hits because he's a hitwhore. It has so many hits because it's been linked to hundreds of sites including B.at.W.com and collegehumor.com.

Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2004-05-14 11:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=exploiting+peer+to+peer+networking&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&safe=off this is unbelivable how many references to this post there are.

This is why so many people have come./ nice one Tom

you managed to pick a title that loads of people would type into google on an everyday basis.

Something like peer to peer networking or exploiting peer to peer networking.

Anyway made me piss myself laughing

Submitted by 8-Ball <will.at.clickass.net> at 2004-05-14 11:20:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I just pissed myself. That is the funniest thing I have read in a long, long time.

Submitted by vulnus at 2004-05-14 09:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I'm just pissed off that I didn't get to see the Emu!

You ruined my night!!!

Submitted by apsmif101 (user info) at 2004-05-14 03:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

w00t!

B3ta linkage!

" >> P2P porn spoof <<
We're a big fan of downloading naughty things
at B3ta towers. But this chappy who's been
sticking up Billy Idol songs as "Elephant cock
horse" has been making us giggle.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/29438 "

Submitted by necrofeelya (user info) at 2004-05-14 01:21:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Sorry had to rate this again, and hitwore!

www.geocities.com/legoman_bob

Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-05-13 20:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

12

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-13 20:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Because everyone's doing it:

126219

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-13 16:51:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

125801

Submitted by ANdy <ss.at.ddsk.xom> at 2004-05-13 16:26:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-13 15:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

125673

Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-05-13 13:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Another 100,000 hits and youll knock Razor down a peg.

Its amazing. One post is all it took to bring you up to not only having the most viewed post in Uber History, but kicked you so far up the MVA food chain that its sickening.

Ill laugh till I pee myself if you end up as #1 MVA cause of this post. That means this post kicks ass over every other post ever.

Submitted by Screwyouall (user info) at 2004-05-13 12:20:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

congrats. I never thought that there would ever be a post on this site that could ever top 'if i cum now...', and by like 32000 too. thats one hell of a sick, yet hilarious post

Submitted by <toke81.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-05-13 11:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

shut the fuck up about hash and all that. so what if he may be lying. no one really cares...its an amusing story nonetheless and definitely well deserved of the number 1 post. it was one of maybe three posts on this whole damn site that actually made me laugh out loud.

Submitted by g3r+45 at 2004-05-12 06:21:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Heh.. maybe you changed name but file hash was still the same,
so somebody who was downloading right "Led zepelin blbabla bla.mp3"
also used this file as source because same hash .. so name
wasn't so significant and hits are hash hits

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-12 05:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/32797

Submitted by wantonmonkeyfucker <3xs.at.verizonmail.com> at 2004-05-11 23:31:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Man, you are the devil. Hehe

Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2004-05-11 21:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

122525

Submitted by Mr Steely <mrsteely.at.mrsteely.gotaweb(no s> at 2004-05-11 19:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I read and I cried! in fact there are still tears in my eyes.

you are a genius

Submitted by Arla (user info) at 2004-05-11 13:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!"

That is a funny little story.
Now THAT is where the viruses should be.

Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2004-05-11 10:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

a post that knowone can deny not having seen or loving....

Submitted by Mogadore <seattle.at.wcoil.com> at 2004-05-11 09:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Funny. Very, very funny! I've used Kazaa and thought I was downloading a Steven King book and got a porn video. Happens to the best of us. Still, very funny!!

Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2004-05-10 18:26:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fucking weirdos searching the internet for fucking weird-ass phrases.

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-10 16:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

119355

Submitted by Nvtro (user info) at 2004-05-10 16:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-05-10 14:15:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

118975

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-10 14:02:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

118759

Submitted by spacemonkey (user info) at 2004-05-10 11:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

118279 hits with 354 (including this one) reviews.
The emu is everywhere now.
Pure madness.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-08 17:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

111869

Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2004-05-08 14:36:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I hate to pop your bubble, and I'm not reading all those replies, so I don't know if anyone pointed this out yet...

The files are ID'd by a checksum process that analyzes the content, not the file name. If someone searched for "Joan Jett" and started downloading it, it would get your Grandma file too.

If you created an entirely new video file and named it one of those things, I think your results would be different.

-Bus

Submitted by moo <libroreader.at.aol.com> at 2004-05-08 01:52:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

God, Tom, that was freaking great. 'Grandma Bingo Sex' oh, and "Enraged baboon'....can't remember the res but hilarious, man. i was afraid i was gonna wake my dad up i was lauging so loud.

Submitted by HTPapaJ (user info) at 2004-05-07 14:00:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-05-07 11:52:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Wow, this has made the B3ta newsletter.

http://www.b3ta.com
http://www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue134/ (near the middle)

This will generate some hit.

Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-05-07 09:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Jesus christ Bart please lock this thread out and delete it forever.

Its starting to give me a complex.

That and the fact that sometimes I cant get on Uber and blame it completely and totally on this post and this post alone.

Submitted by hidden102 (user info) at 2004-05-07 08:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

There is a guy who has gone a step better than this idea, he took it a step further with mail-ordering!!! http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?id=32322

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-05-07 02:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

this post ALONE would get him in the top ~15 on the MVA.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-06 20:47:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

This one post has more hits than 8267 other users total hits.

Submitted by kidsensation (user info) at 2004-05-06 18:53:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Tom belongs to this group of winners:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/31711

Submitted by Mushroom <thmushroom.at.mindspirng.com> at 2004-05-06 16:17:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

OMG... Those people live on WinMX! Thanks for the laugh, nearly wet myself (and no, didn't get it on film... though Depeche Mode's "People Are People" is what you will get if you download something fitting that description).

Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-05-06 15:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

damn, 100k.

Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-05-06 08:58:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Bart should make this top out at 99999. Just to piss Tom off and keep him from getting the famed 100000 hits, which noone has ever accomplished.

Fucking rat bastard. You also keep stealing the bandwith for this entire place. STOP IT!

Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2004-05-06 07:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is good. But it's hardly surprising people downloaded them. I would bet that most aren't even perverts - it's just down to curiosity. It's like some posts on Uber. You suspect that they're going to be utter shit but you just have to know what they're about.

Submitted by magical_invisible_torso_man (user info) at 2004-05-06 06:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i d/l an emu taking a vicious dump the other day, ALL I GOT WAS A FUCKING MUSIC VIDEO AND IT"S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT, I HOPE YOU DIE,
DIE
DIE
DIE

oh, just kidding, +2

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-06 05:16:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

As soon as it hits the top, all the retards come out to dispute your methods or intentions instead of taking the post for what it is: humor.

LIEK OMG TEH HASH SEARCH!!!!!!!!!!!213!!!ARBITRARYNUMBER!!!dos! BTW UR SO MEAN TO CHANEG THEE NAMES

U GET A MInuS @

Submitted by cunthead (user info) at 2004-05-06 04:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

nice one fuckface thats really clever and quite funny

Submitted by LexLutherin (user info) at 2004-05-05 21:41:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hilarious! Jesus man, the number of hits your getting is RIDICULUS!

Submitted by justtobeajerk (user info) at 2004-05-05 18:40:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

and how does this have ANYTHING to do with exploiting p2p networks? and actually, i think you're full of shit.

kthxbye.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-05 18:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

holy. mother. of. god... this post just keeps on going... this is gonna be damn near impossible to beat when, if ever, it tops out. Tom, muh boy, you have created a monster.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-05 18:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

97322

Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-05-05 15:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Yeah, I'm seriously blaming this post. Of course not.

But since it was in the news again today, I think it's interesting timing.

Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-05-05 15:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I hope you aren't seriously blaming legislations that's almost a year old on Tom's 1 month old post.

Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-05-05 14:27:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

See what you've done you cumslut:

Protecting Children from Peer-to-Peer Pornography Act: (this is real, by the way)

(a) ACTS PROHIBITED- It is unlawful for any person to distribute peer-to-peer file trading software, or to authorize or cause peer-to-peer file trading software to be distributed by another person, in interstate commerce in a manner that violates the regulations prescribed under subsection (b)(2).

Submitted by JD Jarvis at 2004-05-05 12:13:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Everyone that is angry about post this seems pissed because they didn't get their daily dose of porno. This post is actualy good beginning research for a book. Possiible titles "Why Pandering Works", "How to Get Rich" (although, I think Donald Trump has this one already) or how about "Why No One Ever went Broke Selling Crap to Pinheads".

Good work, Tom...now cut it out!

Submitted by Don't mess with me <nobody.at.nowhere.com> at 2004-05-05 03:58:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Were you born stupid or did your mum hit you over the head with a lump of 4 x 2?

The file name is not the only thing that is searched on, you can look for similar files by using a Hash search.

There's 5 minutes of my life I won't get back. You are truly a useless dick with more bandwidth then brains.

Submitted by kgbpasha (user info) at 2004-05-05 03:57:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I think my sense of humor has changed. I've been away from Uber
for over a month now...maybe the aliens finally decided to do something
with the implant because I just wasn't feeling it.

Well, I'll try back in another month.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-05 03:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

http://www.ubersite.com/m/30650

Submitted by Chuck (user info) at 2004-05-05 00:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Alright, I know what some of you are thinking, "Chuck you ALWAYS give Tom a +2, wtf?" Well to tell you the truth I want to see this post as most viewed and most heated. so I'm doing what I can to help.

Submitted by beano <wankstain.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-05-04 23:51:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Another one of those dòûchebags who labels Stevie Nicks songs as "Paris Hilton video" or "hot lesbian action." Just what the world needs.

Submitted by Tom <user info> at 2004-05-04 21:12:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.ubersite.com/m/31900

I love this stuff

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-04 21:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i do

Submitted by AUSTRALIAN GUY <MAN.at.WORK.AU> at 2004-05-04 21:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Do you come from a LAND DOWN UNDER?

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-04 21:08:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

hjg

Submitted by bkfountain (user info) at 2004-05-04 20:52:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

yeah that was funny, even though totally wrong. P2P's dont search for names..they still know what the file really is.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-04 20:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

92620

Submitted by theMINI at 2004-05-04 19:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 awsome.

Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-05-04 17:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Has this thing got an auto refresher or something?

Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2004-05-04 16:59:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Good lord!

http://www.zen33652.zen.co.uk/

I mean come ON! As if THAT wasn't going to happen.

Submitted by muladhara <merid114.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-05-04 15:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i'm a grad student in sociology, and you just did more and better research in one night than i have done in three years. very, very, very nice.

Submitted by modusjoe (user info) at 2004-05-04 14:53:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wait a second... now I do.

Submitted by modusjoe (user info) at 2004-05-04 14:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Awesome, awesome, awesome. Tom, I salute you.

Submitted by Tumbleweed at 2004-05-04 11:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I think that some of the commenters grousing so much are the some of those that got suckered into downloading the files. <g>

Hilarious idea. Sounds like there are a bunch of frustrated, twisted, horny folks out there PO'd at you. 'Course, "naked ex mowing the lawn" could be interesting ...

Submitted by Arch_Stanton (user info) at 2004-05-04 10:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-05-04 10:46:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I think that the statement that you've lost all faith in humanity, is ironic since you are the provider of this shit! If it weren't for prople like you, the shit wouldn't be out there! I realise you didn't actually have anything pornographic to show but seriously there is a demand for fucked up shit, yes, but do we have to cater ot it? What if it just weren't accesible? Would the perverts just forget about it and become interested in something else? Who knows. It is a sick world out there and rather than being disappointed in the fact that we are destroying our planet, children are starving and working for slavery, we treat each other like shit on a daily basis and the fact that people just don't have faith...let's see hoew many fucked up perverts are out there looking for porn! Good one, nice show!

Submitted by 52kgs (user info) at 2004-05-04 05:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

How bored are you???? You seem to beat George Bush.....

Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-05-04 04:13:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

geez, MVP in one day? Cruel.com has more swing then I thought

Submitted by Dan at 2004-05-04 02:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

Well, who´s the sick fuck? You came up with the titles, didn´t you?

Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2004-05-04 01:31:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wow, this passed "If I cum now..." Congrats.

Submitted by tshia (user info) at 2004-05-04 00:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Most viewed message, you made it

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-04 00:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Congrats

Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-05-04 00:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

100,000 by cinco de mayo.

and a -2 cause it doesn't matter anymore.

again, i called this shit. go me.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-03 23:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

congo rats, my boy, congo rats. you've blown by the cum and are keeping on getting more of those things in which you do. piechart anyone?

Submitted by anon <foo.at.bar.com> at 2004-05-03 23:00:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1

And people wonder why it's so freakin' tough to find anything worthwhile on the net anymore... and getting people with "disposable levels of bandwidth" to bite on your joke. Imagine your shock (?) were the situation reversed, and instead of you getting your pirate sounds or videos, you get someone else's idea of a sick joke. Congratulations on being a bored retard helping to spread the disease of stupidity around the world.

Submitted by SixThousand (user info) at 2004-05-03 22:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy fucking shit that was fast.

Submitted by MaryG <maryg.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-05-03 22:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was a very interesting site because you've uncovered man's insatiable curiosity for the freakish and absurb. Your titles draw people in. Congrats. Great Post.

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-03 22:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wow, this has achieved Most Viewed in under a month. That has to be a fucking record.

Submitted by Chuck (user info) at 2004-05-03 22:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hell yea Tom!

Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-03 22:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is now the most viewed message.

Congratulations, bastard!

Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-03 22:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

if this brings in a massive wave of stupidity like gellieman did, except a million times worse, i might start looking for a new ubersite. either that or wait it out

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-03 21:44:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

less than 100 views till most viewed....

Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-05-03 20:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Seriously, the rate this is going (and it going to get bigger as more and more websites link to this)..

This will be Most viewed in about 2-3 hours.
Tom will number 4 on the MVA list by the end of Wednesday.
This post will have 100,000 hits by the end of Sunday (not joking)
Tom will be #2 MVA by mid May.
Tom will be #1 MVA 2 weeks after that.

And I reckon this post alone has already brought in a few hundred new users, user #10000 by end of May?

Still a brilliant post (+2), but has it also opened up a few doorways which really shouldn't have been opened (-1)?

Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2004-05-03 20:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Jesus F Christ, who's refreshing this??

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-03 20:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Trust me, you don't want to be me for a day. You'll get scared.

Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-05-03 20:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom, can I be you for a day?

Submitted by Gent (user info) at 2004-05-03 17:00:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I didn't love this.

Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-05-03 14:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

There ya go Tommy. I submitted ya as Cruel Site of the Day

now you got cruel.com busting your hits up too

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2004-05-03 11:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

jesus christ. this monstrosity has more responses than most posts have total hits.

though this is pretty funny.

Submitted by CoBoDo <3339.at.grennaskolan.se> at 2004-05-03 07:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hahahahahahaaa!!!

Wow, people are dumb...

Submitted by ** at 2004-05-02 13:05:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wut's wrong with whacking it to an emu taking a vicious dump?

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-02 13:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

79413

I can't wait until it's forwarded to me.

Submitted by cwl989 (user info) at 2004-05-02 12:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Yeah, I probably would have downloaded all of them.

Except for the vicious dump one. And the grandma one. And the horse cock one.

Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-05-01 18:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

when ypu're on Letterman, i'll watch.

Submitted by monkeycrap <k52g5.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-05-01 14:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

funny and well written for sure... but I have to say that there is a problem with your theory. I doubt people downloaded "Emu taking a vicious crap" or "Elephant cock horse" to jack off... at least some (if not all) probably downloaded it because it popped up and it sounded funny or something. I doubt anyone has the capacity to jack off to an emu taking a crap. but whatever, its still some pretty funny shit.

Submitted by Nayra (user info) at 2004-05-01 14:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by coley (user info) at 2004-05-01 13:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Alright, I think I forgot to rate this when I originally read it, but a +2 it gets.
Funny idea, good writing.

The other thing I wonder is how many hits are from us Uberfolk coming back to keep posting how many hits you are getting? It's kinda funny.

Submitted by natedog at 2004-05-01 12:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

truely funny. many props

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-01 12:03:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Yeah Yes, I already got it in a forward.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-05-01 11:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm waiting for the day that I get this in a Email.... it should happen soon, at this rate, and I'm gonna reply back and be all like, "OMFG!11! LIEK I KNO TWHE GUY TAHTW ROTE THAT LIEK OMGLOL!1!uno!11!

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-01 03:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

2500 in six hours. he's slowing down.. but its nighttime.

speaking of which, i'm going to bed.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-05-01 03:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

74512

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-05-01 03:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I'm not going to become bart.

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-05-01 02:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom, when you become Bart, please don't ban me.

Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-05-01 01:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

no no, he just gets his powers, its like megaman, he can only take powers, so once tom gets to the top, bart loses his superpoweres and goes back to being a regular guy, now if we only knew what powers bart has.

Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-04-30 23:59:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

So wait, when Tom takes the #1 spot on the MVA, does he become Bart?

Submitted by Melany (user info) at 2004-04-30 23:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Haha, I don't blame you!

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-30 23:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

We all know who Maddox is.

Submitted by kineticKith <kinetickith.at.aol.com> at 2004-04-30 23:30:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

You guys think this guy gets alot of hits you should check out http://maddox.xmission.com/. This guy named Maddox gets at least 150 hits every minute every day (over 50 million all together. This site is has over 300 articles about Maddox's opinions on everything, and as far as im concerned it is pure genius. I'm not sure if he has been mentioned yet on this board but if he has he is worth another.

Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-04-30 23:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i thought nothing was ever going to top donovans dr. seuss post then jonukah comes and blows us away and you one up him. or at least soon you will one up him.

Submitted by lilbill87 (user info) at 2004-04-30 23:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hilarious! +2 for you!

Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-04-30 22:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You're gonna have as many hits as that wedding dress guy on eBay soon.

Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-04-30 21:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

what the hell? This is a well-written post, but i can think of at least five others that deserve the hits. Tom just got really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really lucky

Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2004-04-30 21:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

tom gets more hits than rockstars get poon.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-30 21:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

500 hits in an hour.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-30 21:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

72013

Submitted by Calin <mastermushroom.at.digitalcave.org> at 2004-04-30 19:31:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That HAS to be the funniest thing i've ever read!!! Not to play off on you, or to be a copy-catter. but i have to try that with some of my own titles...

Theres some sick fucks out there all right

Submitted by Trout (user info) at 2004-04-30 19:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy shit Tom.
Over 71000 hits, was it not only about half that on Monday?

I give you another week until you usurp bart as most viewed author.

Submitted by JinkyWilliams (user info) at 2004-04-30 19:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

My my my. Have post, will travel. Just a cursory glance of the internet through the eyes of Google pops up these varied results:

http://www.stargeek.com/item/46845.html

http://con.ca/news/816 [I think "Leandro" gravely underestimates the imagination of people searching on P2P networks]

http://www.libertyforum.org/showflat.php?Number=1430662 [It has its own thread on here!]

http://www.absforums.com/index.php?showtopic=19239 [Albino Black Sheep! You've hit the big time, now!]

http://www.decafbad.com/blog/geek/The_Whuffie_Web_II [under "Related Links"]

http://www.hategun.com/blog/blog.html [under "People are sheep. Perverted sheep."]

Tom, you should be proud. You have more hits in one post than 99.97% of the people on Ubersite (given a 7500 count, which is obselete by now) have total, and will likely ever have.

Stay orange.
--JW

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-30 19:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Damnit! When i last posted like ten mins ago, this was at 66000 or so. now its 71014

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-30 19:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dear sweet Jebus.

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-30 18:55:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hey tom you are quoted in a totaly different forum i'm on. you are famous.

Submitted by Celti <celti.at.mailinator.com> at 2004-04-30 13:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Kicker of all ass, indeed.

Original, funny, and sadly true. Of course, being inhuman, I've not had any faith in humanity from the first blow.

Submitted by Rogerbaby <rogerdeepfreeze.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-04-30 13:40:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Man...I LOVE Emo Phillips!!! I really wanted to see him take a dump, too. I'll GET you for this, Tom...paybacks are a bitch! **Arrggghhh!!*

:D~

Submitted by OB1Kenobi <OB1.at.email.com> at 2004-04-30 12:37:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I was royally pissed off when I tried to open the bingo-banging grandma you jerk!!!

Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-30 11:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i called it:

Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-09 21:26:05 (#)
Ranking: 2

it was really good and funny and original. + fucking 2.

This will be atop the most viewed messages one day...real soon. amazing rating too.

TOM rules.

Will

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-30 03:55:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Ashlee has a certain affection for me.

So does bob.

What?

Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-30 03:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

ok. won't rip into you, I just have a certain affection for Tommy-boy.

Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-30 03:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I apologize. I won't care if this makes most viewed and it probably will. I would have cared if it were Tom himself whoring out his own post. I realize that it is not his doing and I apologize.

Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-30 03:37:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That comment was a bit out of line. I wasn't jealous when I made it, rather I assumed something that wasn't true.

Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2004-04-30 03:20:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

walmart, don't be a jealous little bitch. Also, just FYI, people like you who get pissed that this is getting hits, and come here to complain, drive the hitcount up further. Another stint on the Most Heated list is going to make this the most viewed post of all time in another week, and your bitching is only going to help put it there.

Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-30 02:19:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Stop linking this post.

Yes, it is you doing it.

Submitted by Bargled at 2004-04-30 02:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Uh, it just got like 15,000 hits in a day...

who's linking it?

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-04-30 01:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You will have the number 1 spot.

Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-04-30 00:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Yeah....uh. I guess I was just keeping this crown here warm for you. Can I keep for just one more month? Pleeeeeeaaaaaaasssssseeeee? I'll be your bestest friend!

Pride is an ugly, ugly sin.

Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2004-04-29 23:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-29 22:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You guys better not fight on this thread.

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-29 22:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

haha, I dunno if they're "plans" persay, but he sure wants us all in LV.

He's all into it.

I hope it works out, it would be so awesome.

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-29 22:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hamilton, there's these things that people get once they reach a certain age... they're called jobs. You don't know shit, and until your balls drop you can stay at the fucking kids' table.

Submitted by hamilton (user info) at 2004-04-29 22:13:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-29 22:06:16 (#)
Ranking: 2

#3 since I left home today. Wow

-----------------------------------------------

you leave your house?

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-29 22:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

#3 since I left home today. Wow.

Submitted by pimpnasty <asdfasdf.at.aol.com> at 2004-04-29 20:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

your article reminded me of a good prank that I did a while ago.

go to a website like http://www.research.att.com/projects/tts/demo.html and type in "Im looking at Gay porn."

Then, save the audio file, rename it something perverted, such as "Alaskan Bison Triple Penetration, XXX", open the media player with that file ready to be played, and set options to repeat forever. Next, turn the speakers all the way up, and try to hide them (behind the computer is perfect).

Now youre set, just sit somewhere close and wait.

I found it hilarious how many times people would walk up, take a look to the left, right, click it, and then freak out.

Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-04-29 20:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Christ... #4 in 24 days...

What a hit whore.

Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2004-04-29 19:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wait...nevermind. I actually went down and read through the reviews and noticed that it's linked to on several sites. Ok then, way to go Tom. You're the man.

**thumbs up**

Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2004-04-29 19:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funny as hell but some asshole keeps hitting this and a few other submissions and it's REALLY slowing down the site. (note: Keep hitting my articles. ha ha ) No, seriousy, stop that crap.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-29 18:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom... you have changed the internet... how does that feel?

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-29 18:48:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Wait...what plans?

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-29 18:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HOLY SHIT DAMN tom, congrats on college humor.

You rule just that much.

I can feel the smart/awesome rub off on me just from talking to you.

Now if only bob's fervent plans to get us all at LV uber con would work...

Submitted by MisterSauce <j0biatchboi.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-29 15:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You own. Plain and simple, noone (even those looking for just 'fucking' or 'girl on girl') should think to double click on those file names. No way, no how. I'm sorry, but if I'm download a ton of porn all at once, and I see 'Gay men fucking llamas with fists', I am NOT going to double click!

And in the ill chance that I do... I'm heading to the "downloads" section, cancelling, clearing, and making DAMNED sure that doesn't reach my computer.

Submitted by King of Fools <dkngoffools.at.excite.com> at 2004-04-29 14:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was great. LMAO.

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-29 14:11:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Who's refreshing this? Why don't they ever do that crap to my posts??

Submitted by neto <netobgn.at.bol.com.br> at 2004-04-29 13:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment

Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-04-29 07:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Damn you, Tom!

You knocked my Cows post down a notch on the all-time most viewed list. But I don't mind so much, because this is worthy material.

Congratulations (and have another +2)!

Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2004-04-29 04:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Finally read it, Tom, and it is a masterpiece.

Submitted by Kichigai (user info) at 2004-04-29 04:21:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Joey-Samsa <shogunmonkey.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-29 02:17:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

niiiice

Submitted by jimbo (user info) at 2004-04-28 15:25:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hilarious.

Submitted by ha <usux.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-28 13:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Funny shit. I hate to spoil you fun but only one key word has to be typed in to bring anything up on a search. Someone could have been looking for baboon wildlife and would have come across that. So stop trying to be funny fuck head.

Submitted by Olego (user info) at 2004-04-28 06:21:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm certain that KaZaA and ed2k/eMule compare hashes of the files, instead of looking at the filename. Furthermore, KaZaA looks at the AVI headers/ID3 tags. What you should do is create a video of your original content (point your webcam to a piece of paper that says you are a sick bastard" for 3 minutes) and then share it.

Submitted by nimby (user info) at 2004-04-27 11:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fucking awesome

Submitted by NavyJester (user info) at 2004-04-26 19:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is fantastic, Tom! A great piece.
I can't believe how fast this shot up onto the 'most read' section...wow!

Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-04-26 10:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

http://www.teoti.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2785

Someone posted it as their own, unless of course the person at that place is you.

Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2004-04-25 16:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HO HO, HAHA, HEE HEE

Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2004-04-23 02:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

How the bajillakers did I miss this piece of gold?

I actually RoFL!!!!1!!1!!-ed.

Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-23 02:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

It really is amazing what can happen to a post now. Everyone used to think that it stopped at Boredatwork.com but not anymore. This post is living proof.

Well done Tom.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-22 11:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-04-21 20:19:58 (#)
Ranking: 2

actually Tom you're being linked to on other sites, so its not just BAW pulling it in

Yeah, I know.

Submitted by Doogus (user info) at 2004-04-22 08:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by dakingisdead (user info) at 2004-04-22 04:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Now this HAS TO knock off the most viewed spot.

I laughed, I cried, I almost shat myself.................

Submitted by cshape (user info) at 2004-04-22 00:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

lololololololololololol.
lol.

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-04-21 23:00:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

#8. It's fucking climbing the charts fast.

Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-04-21 22:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2004-04-21 22:29:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You really want to lose your faith? fire up kazaa and search for *.eml
Korth

Submitted by ExplodingGopher (user info) at 2004-04-21 22:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funniest fucking thing I've read to date on this website.

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-21 22:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

#200

Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-04-21 20:19:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

actually Tom you're being linked to on other sites, so its not just BAW pulling it in

you might just end up getting this in an e-mail someday with someone else claiming the credit (me!!!!)

Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-21 19:04:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I read this probably every other day, and still laugh my balls off.

Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-21 18:08:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-04-21 16:01:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

About your little blurb down there Tom, I really don't think it has to do entirely with sex. If I was searching for...whatever...and I came across a title like "Emu dump" or whatever, you and I all know that I would download it. Not for the sexual act involved, but just to see what the fuck an emu dump looked like.

Curiousity killed the cat...and got Tom on the MVM list. Congrats.

Submitted by safesun11 (user info) at 2004-04-21 15:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

how fucked up we are

Submitted by kreplech <kreplech.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-04-21 11:44:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

best post ever

Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-21 04:05:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I am kind of surprised at the attention this post is getting as well Tom. I mean, it is definitely a great post and all, but I think people especially like it because it seems like something a lot of people could imagine themselves doing for kicks.

Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-04-20 21:27:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You "worded it just right"??? Are you kidding? That has to be a major understatement. The very words "Emu Taking a Viscious Dump" are like the 5 Commandments. Right, so that didn't make too much sense, but you know what I'm getting at.

This post had just the right amount of randomness mixed with a good scoop of everydayness and a generous heap of humor- baked at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

Either that or you're right and people are just sex fiends.

The joys of the internet....

Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-04-20 17:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I didn't even notice.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-20 17:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Bob,

When I wrote this, I thought it would get its usual 250 views and just be pushed off the front page. As you can see, I was very incorrect. Why exactly people love it so much is less mystery and speculation than you think. Or, let me put it to you this way.

You and I obviously know that there is a huge calling for sex among our population, and people will go far to get to it. Like you said about the man in the library, they will do anything, no matter how kinky, to get to it.

If they take a particular interest in naked boys dancing around, they'll double click it. Perhaps it would have been more soundly done if I had just gotten the sound of a voice laughing and called them the kinky titles, only for them to download a laughing voice.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, people will go far to get their porn fix. I mean, one hundred some people probably have some sick and twisted idea of what a turn-on is, and I worded it just right, I guess.

I think one of the main factors to the popularity here is the fact that it's new. When Pokemon came out, people loved it because it was new. It was entertaining. Most of all it was addicting. Let me ask you, have you personally seen a lot of this done, or thought to do it yourself? Maybe, but probably not. This is a new phenomenon to a lot of readers, and judging by the fact that I punched these titles into a limewire search and got a whole lot of people sharing it, they tried it for themselves because it's new.

This is just my general assessmant. I was told by a friend of mine that he was in a random chatroom and there was a discussion going on about this post. I have been linked by other people to this very post, obviously the other person not knowing that it's what I wrote. When this sort of thing starts happening, I think you just won.

But this is just my take on it.

Submitted by bob <bob.at.drumhawaii.org> at 2004-04-20 15:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Misrepresentation on the net is MORE of a problem than
people who like to read about "Emus Taking a Vicious Dump".
Actually, your titles were so CREATIVE, that is half the
reason you got so many hits. Sure, there are a lot of sick
people out there. But then again, you are sick to perpetrate
fraud. It is like the undercover cops who pretend to be
underage girls to lure pedophiles. THEY are SICK, pretending
to be a little girl. Still, I think your point is well-taken,
it is amazing what people are interested in. I watched a guy
at a public library once who kept looking at pictures of
girls smoking. It turns out that is a hot topic on porn sites,
for some reason, some guys get a kick out of seeing girls
smoke?

I dislike the OPPOSITE types of thing than what you did. I hate
it when I download Led Zepplin and some porn master has actually
put in some smut, with links to his porn site, etc. At least yours
was done in jest, and was sure to only catch sick fucks... so I
forgive you for being deceiving.

Still, I think the net is better if people call "Hot Emu Sex" what it is,
and people call "Rock 'n Roll" what it is.

Cheers,
Bob

Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2004-04-20 15:32:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Is mountain dew the teenage equivalent of beer? Just drink lighter fluid and be a real man like Withnail. :o)

Submitted by Gray <prophet.at.killioughta.com> at 2004-04-20 15:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-20 14:07:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

A new golden one has risen, aye! W00t... where are ma pants?

Submitted by bob <ilikeboys.at.boys.net> at 2004-04-20 14:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

exceptional

Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-04-20 11:38:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm so proud of this little post. It must make at least #5.

P.S. I just got Limewire. I love it!

Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2004-04-20 11:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I can't believe I haven't rated this.. I've read it five times... god, I suck.

Submitted by funkmeister (user info) at 2004-04-20 02:35:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Waaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaahaaaaaa! Ooooooooh! Myyyy Gawd! Wooooohooooo! I have to go crap now.

Submitted by headlight (user info) at 2004-04-20 02:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++2

Next time try "Skunk masturbation_elevator shaft" I got 50 for that one.

Submitted by JBOMB (user info) at 2004-04-19 22:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Why so many hits?

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-19 21:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i dont get it

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-19 20:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

*Tears of Joy*

I'm so happy I never have to see that Gellieman thing on there again! Sorry russizm. I like your other stuff!

Submitted by Zephyrdragon13 (user info) at 2004-04-19 20:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You, my friend, are a genius. This is the kind of thing ive been trying to get people to realize for a long time.

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-04-19 20:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hey, this is #10. It will be #1 within a month. Awesome.

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-19 20:17:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It seems I picked a convenient time to propose.

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-04-19 20:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Gellieman is overtaken!!

Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2004-04-19 18:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy shit

Submitted by beefstick86 (user info) at 2004-04-19 10:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I think you started a new revolution. My brother tried to download some porno movie with a grandpa and his 19 yr old step daughter and got a snippet of a kiss concert. or something crazy like that.

Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2004-04-19 10:38:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Ive had some vicious dumps in my time Ill tell you what!

Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-19 10:22:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

BY WEEKS END THIS WILL BE THE #7 mOST VIEWED EVER.

CONGRATS

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-19 03:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

This must be serious. I still don't have any faith in humanity.

God have mercy on my soul.

Submitted by Fat Bastard at 2004-04-18 23:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Hey everyone my butt reeks of shit! I just thought maybe you would like to know.

Submitted by queencarlotta (user info) at 2004-04-18 23:05:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I can't stop laughing! I may wet myself! I just did! hahahahahaha

Submitted by Mike <whatumean.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-18 21:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That was one of the funniest things I have ever read. Out standing job.

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-18 20:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

(32287 hits)

Submitted by Jon <jon.at.thejadedgamer.net> at 2004-04-18 16:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Funniest thing I've read in a while. Good show. :D

Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-04-18 15:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Jesus dude, this will be #1 eventually. Great post.

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-18 13:33:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

OMAGOD baby you are going to be on the most viewed posts soon!

Submitted by D3T at 2004-04-18 12:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Funny :P

Tho I guarantee most of these "hits" on your "Pr0n" were from hash-key searches. Filename is irellevant: size and hash are what matters. Thats still funny shit tho ;)

Now. If only this was from like a DCC server. That would be fucked up ;D

Submitted by BowDown2Me (user info) at 2004-04-18 12:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

It's not always that bad. I downloaded D12's "My Band" video which turned out to be Paris Hilton's sex video, whole 27 minutes of it...

Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-04-18 11:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Pressing the 'I'm feeling Lucky' button in Google with "lost faith in humanity" (no quotes) will also bring this post up.

Way to bring in the depressed people...

Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-04-18 11:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-17 22:33:48 (#)
Ranking: 2

This is getting there, Tom. Almost usurping Gellieman! I hate that fucking post!

Hey! Fuck You!

GO EAGLES

Submitted by just me at 2004-04-18 07:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Did you ever think that some of the hits arent from people looking porn?
If I'm not mistaken ed2k programs dont pay attention to the name of the file but other things like size of the file.

Submitted by Ben at 2004-04-18 02:26:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The article was hilarious. The guy who commented you should have disguised porn as children's videos, he needs to be locked up

Submitted by PizzaEagle (user info) at 2004-04-17 22:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy shit. funny stuff

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-17 22:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is getting there, Tom. Almost usurping Gellieman! I hate that fucking post!

Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2004-04-17 22:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Best I have read all day!!!

I was in hysterics.... not because of the post, silly. I waited so long to download the Grandma porn, and I was disappointed beyond belief.

Submitted by Bebop at 2004-04-17 20:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

WOOOOW Human beings are frickin retarded...I hate people with a passion now. There is no saving the human race. Everyone run for the hills. The sad thing is, I'll bet that half of the people that posted here downloaded these videos. =\

Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2004-04-17 18:18:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I thought I already reviewed this...hmmph.

Submitted by Great_Teacher_Largo (user info) at 2004-04-16 23:26:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That my friend was absolutely hilarious. Long live the vicious dumping Emu!

Submitted by Idoru (user info) at 2004-04-16 23:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That's the funniest damn thing I've read in a long time. However I do have to say I've lost a lot of faith in humanity as well.

Submitted by shadylady (user info) at 2004-04-16 22:44:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by opposable_thumb (user info) at 2004-04-16 18:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by BIGGY (user info) at 2004-04-16 17:33:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Simple...yet hysterical.

Submitted by ugaly (user info) at 2004-04-16 14:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That was priceless. You know you are going to get google hits from this because you mentioned hot lesbian sex

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-04-16 01:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

My name is Bargled, and I approve this post.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-15 17:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

#15 now... holy fuckbeans.

Submitted by Get lost <kill.the.r.at.s.com> at 2004-04-15 16:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

lmao this is hilarious shit.

Submitted by Trevor <bacon5000k.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-15 16:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by vildy (user info) at 2004-04-15 10:11:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

How come when I google "ubersite" and click "I'm feeling lucky" (to go straight to the uber homepage) I end up here?

It seems that this strange concoction of techie buzzwards mixed in with a dash of sick porn phrases is a hit magnet.

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-04-14 16:39:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

13k more hits until it knocks that goddamn Gellieman (hey look, another google result so you'll get more hits! yay!) off the most viewed list.

Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-04-13 22:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

good god this this is a beast of a hit machine. lordamercy!

watch as tom climbs the mva. go tom go.

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-13 18:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

holy buttered shit... Tom is number 16 on the MVA... I knew him when he was just a little guy... makes me so proud... youth of a generation...

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

As of now, 200 hits left until you take over #25 most viewed. Right on!

Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2004-04-13 15:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I nearly pissed and my pants and almost got fired all at the same time.

This is a well deserved BoredAtWork post.

Submitted by Mr_Insanity (user info) at 2004-04-13 13:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Absolutely no fucking comment. Hooray for the internet!

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-13 03:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

He was put on another site too. Also I'm sure lots of people are linking through AIM or whatever else.

Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-13 03:36:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Where are all of these hits coming from? It isn't BAW.

Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2004-04-13 01:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I couldn't stop myself from doing another. "Grandma Bingo Sex." Short and sweet. I couldn't stop myself from amusing.........myself..... "Grandma Bingo Sex." Surely not a common scenario, and surely not a scenario that would arouse many a twisted psyche. Apparently I know nothing about the human psyche. One hundred twenty two. ONE HUNDRED TWENTY TWO PEOPLE would like to see grandma getting bent over the bingo table, game card in hand, getting donkey punched by a 90 year old addle brained porn star. I rubbed my eyes just to double check. My eyes had to be lying to my brain. My penis had shriveled to the size of a 2 day old Wendys chicken nugget.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So You're the bastard... I almost came with anticipation. I love Grandma Bingo sex.

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-13 00:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

He's just a hiiiiitt machine

Doo doo doo doo

Something something something...

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2004-04-13 00:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You are hilarious.

Submitted by FrancescBlandino (user info) at 2004-04-12 22:18:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Mirabella <nospam.at.nospam.com> at 2004-04-12 20:00:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Marry me.

Submitted by will not say at 2004-04-12 02:54:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Dude you sick bastard this is hella funny next up try kiddie porn and put a recording of the FBI warning them that they are fucked beyond belief or this http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy/

you made my day and i forgot to do my homework

so thanks again

Submitted by enraged_baboon (user info) at 2004-04-12 02:50:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

enraged baboon fucking a nipple factory 4 life

Submitted by Jaineix (user info) at 2004-04-11 21:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is simply amazing...

Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2004-04-11 20:00:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

KICKER OF ALL ASS +2

Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-11 18:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't believed I've rated this yet. Congrats on BAW... and that other site that you're getting most of your hits off of.

Alot better than my BAW post. http://www.ubersite.com/m/28050

Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2004-04-11 18:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-04-11 12:38:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Enraged Baboon fucking a nipple factory.

Can you just see the prospective downloaders?

Dude man, this ape must want to hump a building! Huhuhuhuh! Download it man!

Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2004-04-11 12:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom... ohhhh... Tom...

hah, your brain works a little different than the rest.

Submitted by socialdropout (user info) at 2004-04-11 06:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

My partner is in a bad mood and suddenly we have led zeppezin on our file.
i think there is a point i should be getting, but i cant... seem... to... put my finger on... it...

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-04-11 06:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

We need to knock the Gellieman thing off of Most Viewed.

Submitted by intellismartness (user info) at 2004-04-11 06:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I don't think I can say anything that hasn't already been said

How the hell did I miss this?

Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-04-11 00:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

My. God.

Submitted by colombianswims <lpdapope.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-10 22:33:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This.. is.. the.. greatest.. thing.. i've.. ever.. read.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-10 20:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Well Monkey, I, for one, did not click the link. Chances are I've seen it already and was disgusted.

Submitted by MonkeyLove at 2004-04-10 19:46:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Well, here is a picture of a killer whale with an erection (NSFW)

http://hinterlands.cc/index.php?showtopic=66

How many of you said what the hell and had a look?

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-10 18:19:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

keep going should hit 12,000 by nightfall

Submitted by lush (user info) at 2004-04-10 16:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hey, I usually don't like toe insertion but I thought I would try it one night! No need to get angry about it!

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-10 16:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is fucking horrible. Why would you post this shit, you queer?

Submitted by seanfogy (user info) at 2004-04-10 16:02:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

this sucks

just kidding. this sucks ass

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-10 15:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

why is this always taking up at least 5 of the recently viewed titles?
someone racking up thier hits?

Submitted by Aaron Baczkowski <abaczko.at.tulane.edu> at 2004-04-10 15:20:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Yeah,
This really sucks, adding fucked up names to music and ahving people donwload it isn't that funny. Now, if you diguised the hard core porn named here under childrens video titles, and then had people download them, THAT'd be glorious.

Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2004-04-10 14:33:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by BonesForBucks (user info) at 2004-04-10 13:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I loved this. I've read it at least 7 times and always forget to review. Beautiful.

Submitted by DraconianKing (user info) at 2004-04-10 03:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

*laughs*

*yawns*

*laughs some more*

Submitted by jonukah (user info) at 2004-04-10 03:39:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wonder bar.

Humans are silly creatures.

Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2004-04-10 02:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Awesome.

Submitted by Cassiopeia (user info) at 2004-04-09 21:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I dont think I have ever laughed so loud at something before! Pure genious Tom!

Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2004-04-09 21:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

it was really good and funny and original. + fucking 2.

This will be atop the most viewed messages one day...real soon. amazing rating too.

TOM rules.

Will

Submitted by defender0417 (user info) at 2004-04-09 16:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+2 because now loki won't infect the world.

Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-04-09 15:08:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by alchemist (user info) at 2004-04-09 11:11:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

So you're the ass who I downloaded that stuff from.

Submitted by Sacrew (user info) at 2004-04-09 04:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"EMU TAKING A VICIOUS DUMP"........

Holy shit, I believe I'm having a seizure.

You made my day, and today I broke my leg so that's saying something.

This is exponentially badass.

Submitted by erinly <erinlythomson.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-04-08 21:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-08 16:44:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This post is about to have as many hits as all 20something of mine. Good job Tom!

Submitted by r053ii (user info) at 2004-04-08 14:56:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy shit.. My plant manager walked by as I was reading this and thought I was having an asthma attack.. thanks for getting me a half day off on Medical man.... :)

Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2004-04-08 10:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"Canibis" is not the same as "albutrin". That might explain a lot.

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-08 10:00:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

oh and midget too :-)

the typo queen

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-08 09:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

you forgot to add miget porn
people love that
people like say....Herpes for example
Hes often watching some when i message him

Submitted by Sian_Silverhair (user info) at 2004-04-08 09:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"I guess there is something about horses and elephants showing their cocks that bring out the best in people."

Didn't you know people only use P2P programs for furry porn?

Submitted by Deisangua (user info) at 2004-04-08 07:58:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No comment needed.

Submitted by Lucifer_Industries (user info) at 2004-04-08 07:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom I'm still laughing. Holy shit is this funny.

Malone
Lucifer Industries LLC
http://www.luciferindustries.com

Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2004-04-08 05:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

ummm....up the meds
very funny tho

Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2004-04-08 05:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Can I claim expenses from you for a new keyboard.

I just spat coffee over this one.

True Genius.

I salute you Sir.

+2

Submitted by stanblack at 2004-04-07 23:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Hey man...i didnt read your whole article but...can i get that video of "girl on girl toe insertion"?

Submitted by Anonymous at 2004-04-07 23:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That was friggin' hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing ;)

Submitted by spacemonkey (user info) at 2004-04-07 21:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

funny as hell

Submitted by Kryian at 2004-04-07 19:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I wanted to throw up just reading the titles. I guess that means you got your point across.

Submitted by Caldur (user info) at 2004-04-07 18:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Heh.

Submitted by BiffLR <bifflr.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-04-07 17:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You and I think very much alike! How frightening is that?
Peace,
Biff

Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2004-04-07 16:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LOL

Submitted by digsy (user info) at 2004-04-07 15:18:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

If I search for elephant cock do I get Led Zeppelin?

Submitted by quack (user info) at 2004-04-07 14:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

nice tom. nothing to say. just nice.

congrats.

Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2004-04-07 11:02:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom's the man!

W00T!

Submitted by russizm (user info) at 2004-04-07 07:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

hip hip!

hooray!

hip hip!

hooray!

hip hip!

hooray!

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-07 07:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Mr. BAW

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-07 07:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is some of the shittiest writing I have ever seen, Tom. Its just not fun, its not funny.

Submitted by drstrangedhruv (user info) at 2004-04-07 06:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hahahaha

Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2004-04-07 02:58:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

TOm,

Probably the best thing you have ever written bro

and Method's comment at the end was perfect

-Turtle

Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2004-04-07 02:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

sweet

Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2004-04-07 02:34:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i hate you, Tom. i just wanted to see two girls lick each other, but instead you tricked me into watching two Japanese girls share a turd between their mouths, and drink each other's vomit. (although i admit that the "puke cam" was a nice touch.)

Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-04-07 02:33:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

It's about time. Nice work with the quick response time, Bart.

Submitted by bart (user info) at 2004-04-07 02:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by spreek at 2004-04-07 02:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

great post!
and its nice to see another 15 year old with good taste in music

Submitted by Floyd_the_Barber (user info) at 2004-04-06 23:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i wish i was this funny

Submitted by Chuck (user info) at 2004-04-06 17:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by 49 (user info) at 2004-04-06 14:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

+4 for being funny as hell.
-2 for not being able to rate over +2.
You had me laughing all the way through. :D

Submitted by necrofeelya (user info) at 2004-04-06 14:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

B@W!

Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2004-04-06 11:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Pete <me.at.mail.com> at 2004-04-06 08:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I laughed my ass off!

Submitted by poisonyourkids (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

good idea

Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2004-04-06 00:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That was fucking funny.

Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2004-04-05 23:54:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is way beyond funny.

The only potential flaw to your experiment, would be the multiple user downloading that morpheus, winMX, and kazaa use. When someone downloads, the system searches for the same file across it's server, but doesn't pay attention to the name. You get the same file from multiple users.

Honest to god, that's how I ended up with "Blonde fucked by snake and gorilla".

Submitted by BleedTheSky (user info) at 2004-04-05 23:14:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment

Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2004-04-05 22:46:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wait... YOU'RE the son of a bitch who posted all those fake files I tried to download yesterday..? Your ass is GRASS!

Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2004-04-05 22:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This is very good tom, you sick bastard. A+

I wouldnt change anything and I could see this in the limelight oh, i dont know, on some cool site where they link good posts. what is that place called?

Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2004-04-05 21:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

fucking... hell yeah... LEIK OMG!!1!WTF!!1!

Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2004-04-05 19:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

uh... no comment

Submitted by SpikeGoddess (user info) at 2004-04-05 19:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom, this is pure genius. You are a very scary fifteen-year-old gentleman.

Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2004-04-05 17:12:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm sitting in a coffee shop reading Uber and I laughed so hard I had tears. This lady at the next table just asked me if I was OK, and if there was anything wrong.

Bastard.

Submitted by jcricket (user info) at 2004-04-05 16:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

that was fucking awesome.
there are too many lines to quote.

need... to breathe...

Submitted by Zod (user info) at 2004-04-05 16:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm sorry, but this was fucking hilarious. Holy shit...

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-05 15:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Some 15 year old minds just shouldn't be stimulated.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-05 15:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Go ahead. Spam me with a -2 or 300. It won't matter. Your ratings now don't count toward anything. Knock yourself out, pal. You'll just be helping me.

Submitted by T.chow (user info) at 2004-04-05 15:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

awesome

Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Poor Emu...

Submitted by FleetEnemaBadass (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I enjoy exploiting Ubersite.

Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:53:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Tom's toe penetrates all anus

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

http://www.geocities.com/insanethemindrulz/EMU.GIF

Had the link wrong. There.

Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:48:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

So...how do you know that "three disgusting, drooling, perverted, fucked up people, wielding a box of Puffs Plus and a tube of Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion, bright eyed and bushy tailed, wanted to see 'An emu taking a vicious dump'"? Maybe they are doing a study on Emu defecation for a biology class or something. Who is the real sicko here Tom? You came up with the titles.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

www.geocities.com/insanethemindrulz/EMU.gif

The official vicious emu dump buddy icon!

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:37:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Again.

Submitted by loki (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That settles it, I'm having my tubes tied.

Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-04-05 14:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

that was fucking classic

Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"How can nearly two hundred people want to see naked animals? They're ALWAYS naked!"

Ahahahaha This was AWESOME, Tom!

Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2004-04-05 12:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

your mind is money tom.

Submitted by acrog (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:43:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

that was damn funny

Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:33:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

-2 for people like you giving me entire techno albums instead of hard to find episodes of Inu Yasha.

Nevertheless, + a billion because this was funny as hell.

Submitted by ohlookasquirrel (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:02:00 (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm leaving ubersite if this doesn't make BAW.
---
Me too. Oh wait, that won't work.
I'm staying if this doesn't make bored at work.

Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was fucking hilarious, Tom. And 38 Special sucks.

Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2004-04-05 11:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I'm leaving ubersite if this doesn't make BAW.

Submitted by iamhewhoisnot (user info) at 2004-04-05 10:28:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

baw

Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2004-04-05 09:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

hey, I resent assholes like you wasting my bandwidth. What I dislike most intensly is assmunchkins like you who fake "real" movies in order to inflate their share size. Why would anyone rename a binary dump to a hard to find avi/mpg ? I'm not talking about "horse cock nasties" or "backdors bangalore" - those are classics - but I was trying to dl marx brothers the other day & some turd burgling rump ranger had the nuts to share "the Mummy" as "Duck Soup". besides, those boys weren't dancing at all.

Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2004-04-05 08:57:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

In the words of Alex from Hackers 2: Takedown:

"Oh shit, that is awesome... that is awesome"

Submitted by seansdementia (user info) at 2004-04-05 07:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

wow thats awesome. Time for me to try this game

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-05 07:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Oh boy, His_Honor_Impartial likes it! How exciting.

http://www.ubersite.com/m/29429

Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2004-04-05 06:59:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Hmmmmm.... this gives me an idea..........

Submitted by His_Honor_Impartial (user info) at 2004-04-05 06:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This was hysterical. I was actually rolling around. I woke up my roommate. "What's so fucking funny?" he asked. I replied, "You wanna see 'Naked boys dancing and eating cake?'"
Those titles were just hilarious. I don't think this could possibly be any better.

Submitted by They call me the Fireman <firefighter_bolivas.at.yahoo.com> at 2004-04-05 06:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That has to be one of the funniest things I have read in a long time!!!!

Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

do you know how hard shitting emu footage is to come by these days? some people.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

(You and I both know I'm kidding)

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

And that is why I love Hadooken. Hes just evil.

Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Hadooken is just mad because he wanted to see a vicious shitting emu but got Led Zeppelin instead. It's understandable.

Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

i hate when i try to download something and some shitgoose does that.

Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Absolutly brilliant. You know how long i waited for my Grandma bingo sex video! And look what i got! DAMN YOU!

Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Fucking hilarious.

Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:28:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Great, now that word's out, no one's gonna DL my video of me limboing and eating pie.

Submitted by pgaur (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This reminds me of something I did in the dorms freshman year. All the computers in all of the dorms were networked, and at the University of Washington we had a search engine that would let you search everyone's files and download them quickly and easily. One day out of boredom me and a couple buddies made some videos of us doing some random shit (throwing balls at each other, uppercutting each other into oblivion, etc.) and shared them on the network with porn names like "JENNA JAMESON MONSTER SHOT XXX BIG COCK." Three days later, a guy who lived down the hall from me came into my room and complained that he had been looking for porn... and instead he had found me.

Good times.

Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:25:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

you GENIUS!

i would gladly have your children

Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Holy fucking shit!! This had me laughing for quite some time.

Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

HAHA. Very good.

Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:21:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That is scary..... very scary....

Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:18:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

So that was YOU that changed those file names? You bastard, I was ready to wank to some elephant cock when all I got was REO Speedwagon live on stage.

I wanked to them anyway.

Submitted by Lyric (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I thought this made me speechless.

Then I realized that odd gasping sound was me wheezing for breath because I was laughing so hard.

"An emu taking a vicious dump"?!??!?!?!

HAHAHA!

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

If this doesnt go on BAW, I'll shit myself. This is the funniest thing I have ever read.

Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2004-04-05 04:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

be careful. don't want to end up on 'the list'