A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. (992 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Merlina (View user info) at 2009-10-29 20:16:45 EDT
Five o'clock shadow...
That's what they call the new girl at work. I mean..what? And there was me think thinking that the girls at work are the bitches..oh no. This is the guys.
I am an Assurance Manager on building sites - basically wherever my company takes me. At the moment, I am on the East London Line and although I am a senior manager - it is my job to trawl the stations that are being remodernised to ensure that all is working to the scope for the client..... legally conforming etc.
Whilst at said building sites, I have got used to the male banter, And yes, it is a predominantly male environment although you get the (very odd) female engineer or scaffolder.
On a side note - a scaffolder we have , called Rose is a sexy bitch and all the guys say about her behind her back is "don't go near her - she's used to holding a pole this thick all day you'd only disappoint her...."
Anyway, back to 'five o'clock shadow', The poor lass with that nickname has a teeny tiny tashe, that I hadn't even noticed. Yet that is her name to the boys. Another one is Keely 'one eye' Jones. She is a (damn sexy) site secretary at one of the stations who unfortunately has one eye that looks at you and one that looks somewhere else. A body to die for they all agree but yet.... that's what they call her.
I had to delve further....
"So what do you call Toni", I queried...
"Unibrow", they stated unanimously.
......"oh...well what about Karen the admin girl?"
"Big Karen" one said. They all laughed. (she's not big. She has an adorable Jamaican arse but...)
At this stage they proceeded to talk about how much their wives were crap and the girlfriends and women they were shagging were getting too possessive....and a little of me died somewhere.
Why aren't these men having great sex with their wives?
Why bother being married?
I went to the bar after work tonight..in fact its...11.54pm and my man is asleep (I'm on leave tomorrow)... and I couldn't help but ask the question...
WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS CALL ME?
They laughed. They in fact pulled out a piece of paper and joked that there was a list..
Bastards.
Evening carried on..blah blah..
Eventually one of my (male) friends offered me a lift home and we took off. I asked him again - he's my bud and wouldn't lie to me....
"Steve hon, seriously...what do they call me... is it flat arse? Or Worzel hair... or... WORSE?
He grinned and said.
"In all seriousness hon......they don't. Not you. They do all the girls but not you. I think they're a little scared of you because you're senior management and you could fire their ass..."
"Oh..."
I'm home now. And I don't believe him.
WHAT THE FECK DO THEY CALL ME?
And why are men so bitchy?
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-11-09 20:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I never knew how much I'd miss the dudes from the auto shop until I started in an office full of women. Hell, Pete's greasy handed games of grab-ass are still superior to our ovary intensive team building activities.
I miss Mark. Mark stabbed a guy. He'd punch you for a tire ticket, but deep down he was a teddy bear.
Submitted by paxilliona (user info) at 2009-11-06 20:58:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-11-05 17:16:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fire them all.
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2009-11-03 13:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"don't go near her - she's used to holding a pole this thick all day you'd only disappoint her...."
-tee hee
Submitted by Pothead (user info) at 2009-11-03 04:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2009-11-02 22:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-11-01 16:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-10-31 12:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-30 23:41:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i am a paragon of kindness, so i'm unsure what you are referencing. but rest you've forever wounded me.
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suuuure I have. I would buy that if I thought A: you were easily wounded, or B: you would think that "wounding" was my intent.
paragon of kindness eh? Part of the reason I still log on here is to watch you brutalize the masses, you know.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-31 00:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
remove two bottles of cabernet and insert word 'assured'
send two nudes and call me in the morning
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-30 23:41:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are things you are probably better off not knowing.
Like the reasons Scourgey Poo likes to be a cock and ride pepople's ass so much :)
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i am a paragon of kindness, so i'm unsure what you are referencing. but rest you've forever wounded me.
Submitted by paxilliona (user info) at 2009-10-30 22:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's simple: men are terrible people. End of story.
&&
then go eat pussy.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There are things you are probably better off not knowing.
Like the reasons Scourgey Poo likes to be a cock and ride pepople's ass so much :)
Submitted by netimportant (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's simple: men are terrible people. End of story.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-10-30 17:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
of course they're afraid of you, you're Irish - YOUR FENIAN TREACHERY KNOWS NO BOUNDS
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-10-30 16:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And no, they do call you something he was just too polite to say! :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-10-30 15:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why aren't these men having great sex with their wives?
Why bother being married?
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I dunno merlina this just doesn't jive with me.
Marriage has it's ups and downs, sometimes the physical side suffers too, if temporarily.
Besides most of these guys will be exaggerating, it's a male bonding thing to complain about your other half.
Submitted by malefic (user info) at 2009-10-30 15:46:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
they call you LUCY. say it out loud.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-30 14:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i do not understand your seemingly incomplete and poorly constructed sentence, pennsylvania slim. please re-submit for my consideration immediately.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 13:52:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-30 13:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that title could be some sort of life philosophy. its just that being a cock is also v. satisfying.
----------------
funny how cocks usually end up getting fucked wh?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2009-10-30 13:46:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
they probably call you sugar nipples.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-30 13:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that title could be some sort of life philosophy. its just that being a cock is also v. satisfying.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-10-30 13:32:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I, for one, would call you Lovely.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2009-10-30 11:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
unprofessional conduct for so-called senior management.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-10-30 09:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I work construction as an engineer, and there are very, very few women that I run into during the day on a site. The few that I do see are the kind that the average guy is afraid of.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:52:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An arse full of penis? Dunno. Anyway Mr Man (is that better), will catch you later, I have an 8 page report to finish before I sleep, enough time wasting. Have a happy halloween, post pics!!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:41:07 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:35:25 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sgts name is Roth?
=======================
Last name.
----------
I would fucking well hope so.
=============
HAH not fitting for a first name eh? TuTs remember I come from a country where people have named their first born "lexus"
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I know a dumb cunt (who isn't me) who has kids called Montana, Indiana and Dakota. Retarded idiot.
That is like me calling my daughters Adelaide, Sydney and Darwin. No, no it is like me calling my kids Northern Territory, Canberra and Queensland. Anyway doodly bum......
================
what is a "doodly bum"?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:41:07 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:35:25 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sgts name is Roth?
=======================
Last name.
----------
I would fucking well hope so.
=============
HAH not fitting for a first name eh? TuTs remember I come from a country where people have named their first born "lexus"
----------
I know a dumb cunt (who isn't me) who has kids called Montana, Indiana and Dakota. Retarded idiot.
That is like me calling my daughters Adelaide, Sydney and Darwin. No, no it is like me calling my kids Northern Territory, Canberra and Queensland. Anyway doodly bum......
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey you aren't related to David lee Roth?
=====================
no, no I am not, at least I dont think so.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:35:25 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sgts name is Roth?
=======================
Last name.
----------
I would fucking well hope so.
=============
HAH not fitting for a first name eh? TuTs remember I come from a country where people have named their first born "lexus"
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey you aren't related to David lee Roth?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 20:35:25 WST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sgts name is Roth?
=======================
Last name.
----------
I would fucking well hope so.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:35:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sgts name is Roth?
=======================
Last name.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sgts name is Roth?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:25:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do they call you "merlina?"
---
haha no, but by god I'm going to train them to say it!
"Goddamn it, you fucked up my wages! you're such a Merlina!'
=============
as a younger man I made it my business to get as completely fucked up as I could all the time. From what I hear it was legendary...anyways in my hometown some people lovingly refer to being completely wasted as being "Rothed"
and I love it.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:19:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could go on a wild list making session of things to call you but I'd start with "Bush." I don't know why but I have a sneaking suspicion that you are rocking a porno bush on your pubis mondus that reaches around to your balloon knot.
If not, lie to me and say you do :)
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do they call you "merlina?"
---
haha no, but by god I'm going to train them to say it!
"Goddamn it, you fucked up my wages! you're such a Merlina!'
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
do they call you "merlina?"
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-10-30 08:01:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's best not to ask what you're known as. I do payroll for 135 people. I'm known as 'The Bitch'. I kinda wish that I had never found that out.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-30 07:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-30 06:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We had a girl at the place I used to work at who we called henny penny, because every day to her there was some drama and it was like the sky was falling. It isn't very mean though.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-10-30 06:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, that was a bit anti climatic. Good post and all but I was expecting more with that title.
Still a plus 2 because I can't break a streak.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-10-30 06:44:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't read it. Plus 2 for the title alone.
Now I'll go read it.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-10-30 06:29:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They definitely have a name for you.
But don't worry, these people are working class, therefore don't count as humans, legally.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-10-30 05:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
we are only bitchy towards ugly girls or girls who wont suck our cock
Submitted by ridiculous (user info) at 2009-10-30 02:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
having been raised by a single mother I guess I am a little soft next to the boys but let one of even look at me funny and I will beat him to something resembling a tenderized cube steak. anyhow; I have always considered it a little fucked up that a woman cannot be on site without getting a nickname but again I am sure that is just my mothers influence. I won't go into some of the names I have heard because I don't like to use them but there is one... "Scary" I will leave it to you to guess why we call her that but suffice to say it is deserved and she does scare the crap out of us... and not in anything resembling a good way.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-10-29 22:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your posts make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
As for what they'd call you...I got nothin'. I'm pretty useless in the "wit" department.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a cousin...a really sweet boy who was raised by a flock of strong women - physically he is a very tough looking person, but he is incredibly sensitive. He decided to take up a trade and now that he's in the workforce, his, like you said predominantly male, co-workers are making him want out so badly he can taste it.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2009-10-29 21:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's funny, I happened upon the list they spoke of. You're right, a lot of it is pretty bad:
"Cuntilda", "Beefpanties", "Krang", and "Fuckcavern" are just a few......