Fight Space (564 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 2 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ENV3NOM (View user info) at 2009-10-23 17:20:24 EDT
From the individuals that brought you Fight Club and Office space comes the fantastic new dramedy, Fight Space!
This colorful cast of characters brings you such memorable lines as:
"Fight Club was the beginning, now it's moved out of the basement. Things were getting too crowded down in storage B."
...and
"Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met"
"I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man."
...and
"I am Milton's Swingline stapler."
"I am Brian's 37 pieces of flare."
...and
"The first rule of Mondays is you do not tell someone they have case of the Mondays."
....and
"Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements."
"Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else."
...and
"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."
...and
"Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news: I no longer have any fear of death. But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end, and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants, and amyl nitrite..."
"Back up in your ass with the resurrection."
...and
"Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo. Didn't you get the memo?"
...and
"I wasn't really dying. I wasn't host to cancer or parasites. I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around."
"You know what I'd do if I had testicular cancer? Two chicks at the same time. And I bet if I was one of those little kids at the Make a Wish Foundation I could pull that off."
...and
"Home was a condo on the fifteenth floor of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. The walls were solid concrete. A foot of concrete is important when your next-door neighbor lets their hearing aid go and have to watch game-shows at full volume. Or when a volcanic blast of debris that used to be your furniture and personal effects blows out of your floor-to-ceiling windows and sails flaming into the night. I suppose these things happen."
"Perhaps I can help. I'm doing the drywall up at the new McDonald's."
...and
"We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep."
"I would relax... I would sit on my ass all day... I would do nothing."
...and
"I'll take the blood parasites. But I'm gonna take the organic brain dementia, okay?"
"Or maybe something to nibble on? Some Pizza Shooters, Shrimp Poppers, or Extreme Fajitas?"
And did we mention it's a musical? With such classic ballads as "Why Do They Call it a Paper Jam When There Is No Paper Jam?" and "Lumberg's Children May Have Hooves But That's Still Better Than Having Bitch Tits."
Come one, come all to this amazing extravaganza, arriving soon at a theater near you!
Must be Hawaiian shirt day...
User Reviews
Submitted by LoooseSprocket (user info) at 2009-10-29 13:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-10-27 17:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
win.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-10-26 12:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
um....yeah...I'm gonna need you to re-post this..on Saturday......
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-26 09:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could fuck Edward Norton, he is so much hotter than brad pitt.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-10-26 09:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Watch out for your cornhole, bud."
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-10-25 07:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think rogers and hammerstein should have done something along these lines.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-10-24 14:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-10-23 21:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-10-23 19:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hitler loves me
this i know
for the nazis
tell me so
red or yellow
black or white
makes no difference
they're gassed at night
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-10-23 17:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL. Springtime for Hitler.
Germany was having trouble
What a sad, sad story
Needed a new leader to restore
Its former glory
Where, oh, where was he?
Where could that man be?
We looked around and then we found
The man for you and me
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
And now it's...
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay!
We're marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Rhineland's a fine land once more!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Watch out, Europe
We're going on tour!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany...
CHORUS:
Look, it's springtime
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
Winter for Poland and France
CHORUS AND STORMTROOPER:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany!
CHORUS:
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
Springtime! Springtime!
STORMTROOPER:
Come on, Germans
Go into your dance!
STORMTROOPER "ROLF":
I was born in Dusseldorf und that is why they call me Rolf.
STORMTROOPER "MEL":
Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party!
ULLA:
The Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer is coming, the Fuhrer is coming!
STORMTROOPER #1:
Heil Hitler!
STORMTROOPER #2:
Heil Hitler!
LEAD TENOR STORMTROOPER:
Heil Hitler!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
ALL:
Heil Hitler!
ROGER:
Heil myself
Heil to me
I'm the kraut
Who's out to change our history
Heil myself
Raise your hand
There's no greater
Dictator in the land!
Everything I do, I do for you!
CHORUS:
Yes, you do!
ROGER:
If you're looking for a war, here's World War Two!
Heil myself
Raise your beer
CHORUS:
Jawohl!
ROGER:
Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi stand and cheer
CHORUS:
Hooray!
Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi...
ROGER:
Heil myself!
CHORUS:
Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi...
ROGER:
Heil myself!
CHORUS:
Ev'ry hotsy-totsy Nazi...
ROGER:
...stand and cheer!
THE HEIL-LOs:
The Fuhrer is causing a furor!
He's got those Russians on the run
You gotta love that wacky hun!
The Fuhrer is causing a furor
They can't say "no" to his demands
They're freaking out in foreign lands
He's got the whole world in his hands
The Fuhrer is causing a furor!
ROGER:
I was just a paper hanger
No one more obscurer
Got a phone call from the Reichstag
Told me I was Fuhrer
Germany was blue
What, oh, what to do?
Hitched up my pants
And conquered France
Now Deutschland's smiling through!
But it wasn't always so easy...
It was 1932. Hindenburg was working the Big Room and I...
I was playing the lounge. And then I got my big break.
Somebody burned down the Reichstag. And, would you believe it?
They made me Chancellor. Chancellor!
It ain't no myst'ry
If it's politics or hist'ry
The thing you gotta know is
Ev'rything is show biz
Heil myself
Watch my show
I'm the German Ethel Merman
Dontcha know
We are crossing borders
The new world order is here
Make a great big smile
Ev'ryone sieg heil to me
Wonderful me!
And now it's...
CHORUS:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Goose-step's the new step today
ROGER:
Springtime!
Goose-steps!
CHORUS MEN:
Bombs falling from the skies again
CHORUS:
Deutschland is on the rise again
ROGER & CHORUS:
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
U-boats are sailing once more
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
ROGER:
Means that...
CHORUS:
Soon we'll be going...
ROGER:
We've got to be going...
CHORUS:
You know we'll be going....
ROGER:
You bet we'll be going...
ROGER & CHORUS:
You know we'll be going to war!!