The Story of Falcon Heene - Balloon Rider and Skydiver sans Chute (718 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.77 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Stabkill (View user info) at 2009-10-15 16:16:57 EDT
On October 15, 2009, a young child named Falcon Heene decided to climb aboard a homemade balloon crafted by his nutty parents. At some point he decided to bail out without a parachute and now he's dead.
Richard and Mayumi Heene were his parents and they were certifiable. They go to sleep in clothes ready to rush out and chase storms, these wackos didn't want to let little things like safety and common sense get in the way of their selfish lives. What do they have to show for it now? An episode of Wife Swap where their idiotic lifestyle was on display for everyone to laugh at.
Sometime earlier in the day, young Falcon and his older brother Ryo decided to act like their father and fill up the experimental balloon with helium for a quick ride in the yard. Since they lived their lives loosely, there was no second-guessing any concerns about their well-being as they filled the balloon with helium tanks left out in the open. As always, the kids had access to dangerous items because they were well trusted.
Falcon got into the balloon as it began to rise off the ground. Ryo just looked up as the balloon soared into the sky. If he was older than 8, it would have warranted the classic "Oh, shit." comment, but instead it was probably something like "Oops."
An hour later, the media and law enforcement scrambled to cover the incident. The balloon traveled for many miles before a soft landing. But when the sheriff department opened the hatch, there was no boy inside.
Why? Because while the balloon was at 10,000 feet and little Falcon was freezing and inhaling helium, he decided to skydive back home. He was named Falcon for a reason and he believed he could fly. The following picture of Falcon proves that wasn't true.
I better call law enforcement to remove this stinking corpse from my backyard now that I'm done posting on ubersite.
User Reviews
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-10-21 12:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That from Mythbusters?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-10-19 00:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-17 22:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-16 16:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you.
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Fuck off.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-10-16 20:16:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/24403
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-10-16 17:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That kid looks like he was drug by a pick-up, not like he fell from the sky... is there something you'd like to confess to?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-16 16:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-10-16 15:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the injuries on that body are not consistent from those normaly received from a free-fall
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-10-16 14:47:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-16 10:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone do me a favor- tell Bubba to shut the fuck up.
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Shut the fuck up, Bubba
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2009-10-16 12:14:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"sums" even.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2009-10-16 12:10:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-10-16 11:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The entire US media was clowned by a six-year-old.
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I think the entire US media was clowned by a six-year-old's father. "You said we did it for a show" pretty much somes it up.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-10-16 11:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking awesome
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-10-16 11:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The entire US media was clowned by a six-year-old.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-16 10:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Someone do me a favor- tell Bubba to shut the fuck up.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-10-16 08:16:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-15 22:13:49 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone here is a PC pussy. THIS is ubersite.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-16 04:24:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto dead baby +2
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-10-16 02:45:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
People play golf because they are attention-starved?
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-16 00:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-15 23:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I called this as "a fakeout" before 5pm.
The parents have been on "WifeSwap" twice on ABC- they're obviously attention starved nutcases.
=
Then they should live in S. Carolina, on a fucking golf course.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-15 23:16:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I called this as "a fakeout" before 5pm.
The parents have been on "WifeSwap" twice on ABC- they're obviously attention starved nutcases.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2009-10-15 18:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The kid's alive asshole.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2009-10-15 18:14:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was a hoax, the boy is alive. What a scam.
I'm so disappointed there won't be a funeral for this shitty family.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-10-15 17:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-15 14:13:49 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone here is a PC pussy. THIS is ubersite.
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yeah...I really do feel bad for that kid, but my brother sico is quite correct in his assessment here.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-10-15 17:43:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-10-15 17:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The herd has been ever so slightly thinned.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-10-15 17:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
classic
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-10-15 17:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That episode of Wife Swap was HILARIOUS. The father is a prime example of a man-child.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-10-15 17:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Everyone here is a PC pussy. THIS is ubersite.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2009-10-15 16:55:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the picture..... the line has been crossed
means you must now be anally raped with a broken bottle
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-15 16:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by skee (user info) at 2009-10-15 16:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I agree they should have shot the freakin balloon out the sky, then they would have known long ago that this was a hoax or some dumb ass idea.
but ur an ASSHOLE for that pic
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2009-10-15 16:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dude... WTF?