Serious Writers Only Pls (200 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.4 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by icarus (View user info) at 2009-10-07 17:27:20 EDT
When I was just a squeaker, my friends and I would meet up after school, pool our halloween costumes, hoist my parent's 30 lb VHS camcorder on to a tripod, and restage Ghostbusters or Mega Man or whatever the hell else was popular when we were 10.
It was absolute shit. I never made it to Cannes.
I never became an oceanographer or survivalist either, though I had a sweet 30 gal aquarium and I'd invest loads of free time hiking about the park reserve abutting our grounds, getting to know the trails and local wildlife.
So, here's the thing.
Don't get mad now.
If I'm not a filmmaker, you're not a writer. Yes, I'm absolutely certain you can spell and punctuate. I'm confident you've memorized Freytag's formula, and know several synonyms for words like "gaudy" and "blue". You've probably posted your writing online, and someone who went online at work looking for something to read probably told you that you are the best writer evar on the webz.
Yes, I'm sure they meant it. What? Well, *I* believe they weren't you. Why would I think you would fellate yourself with your own alter(s)? There's really no reason to get all huffy. We're all pals here.
Yes, I know you paid some company to make your work available on Amazon or B&N to forever cement your status as a "published" author. I'm not really sure why. Have you made your money back on the deal? No? Well, that's your own business.
The thing is that there are a lot of writers out there. Some of them are great and some of them are whores who spawn whatever the parent company tell them to. It's all in opinion and how you look at it. What is firmly tangible is the fact that all those writers, good and bad, make a living by submitting their work, just as all proctologists make a living examining the rings of your anus. You don't.
You can talk about famous exceptions; people who were only well known after they died, but do you have a following of tens of thousands? Is your writing pimped in most High School lit courses? No.
So you're not, in the career-sense of the word, quite on the level of this guy http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0681.html or this guy http://www.kanemiller.com/biography.asp?sku=42. So what? Who cares? Writing is something you enjoy, right? You like your characters and story archs, correct? So why would you want to rip them apart at the seams because some cocksmith of an editor or marketing middle-manager thinks the whole thing's not [insert jingoistic catchword] enough? Why do you want to slave over something you currently enjoy?
Try as you like, chances are you'll never become the next Cervantes or Hemmingway or JK Rowling. If you do, chances are even worse you'll do it without turning into the literary Dano Plato. So seriously, why not just enjoy what you're doing without the whole ego thing?
I know it's got a lot to do with society. When you're eight or twelve it's perfectly acceptable to have not-for-profit pursuits. You can join little league, take up the piano... hell, even in college you can take up oil painting or rock climbing. Not so in the adult world. It wasn't a week after I bought my first sailboat that I was told to join the company yacht club.
Seemed it was unthinkable to own a sailboat in our company unless you planned on spending your weekends with coworkers you already found annoying, racing around little bouy-marked triangles. Same went for any .NET skills (So you do web design on the side???) and the Canon Rebel I own (you must do wedding photography!) I quickly found that the concept of having an interest that was neither competitive or profitable was basically unheard of.
Sad, really. One of the few traits that really mark us as a species is the ability to cultivate and adapt new skills. The things we need are fairly standard; it's the things we do for self expression that make us unique. Every society fishes and hunts and hits other societies about the head. Not every society has Lourdes or the
So what I'm really saying is that you don't have to be a professional writer. Just enjoy and share the freedom and self-expression that your medium provides, and perhaps someday you'll catch your break and make it big. Until that time, please try not to top it the knob.
Thanks and have a wonderful tommorow!
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-07 19:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ONE POST PER DAY, DIPSHIT NOOB.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EGADS! the stupid is spreading all over the front page!
run to the shelter, kids, take some toilet paper, you'll need it
AAIIIYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wait, willart isn't jack, it's bubba, why is iccy insisting it's jack?
oh i am really behind with uber, it's so political nowadays
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"toss the pot into my twat, you ancient sot."
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Feely, I'll buy the pot if you'll toss. ..
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wankboy? that is a new one on me.
i like tosspot, you can't go wrong with tosspot.
imagine, a pot of toss.
=========
Imagine, a boy who wanks. A pedo's dream. . .
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
cuntdesk
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wankboy? that is a new one on me.
i like tosspot, you can't go wrong with tosspot.
imagine, a pot of toss.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:10:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
whinging cunt
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:10:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
twat
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:10:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ponce
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wankboy
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:09:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
idiot
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 18:08:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dumbfuck
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-10-07 17:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree that some enjoy writing, regardless of lack or presence of talent. The rub comes when less talented dirtballs -2 everything just to be assholes. Seldom do you see a piece of writing that is totally devoid of all merit. Yes, it does happen, but rather infrequently. Give the wannabe authors the benefit of doubt, and try not to be so harsh.
Also, old Ernie is rolling in his grave because of the extra M you added in the middle of his last name. Thassa joke.
:D