Fuck My Life (1518 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.32 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sinistral (View user info) at 2009-10-03 18:45:31 EDT
When I logged in to this site for the first time I was 15 years old. As of today I'm 20 and I feel like the oldest fucking person on Earth.
I know most of you, actually being ancient and all that, will scoff at this, but I am no longer part of the "stupid, pimple-face teenager" demographic populating Uber and it feels very weird.
When one turns 18 several things are opened up. Buying cigarettes, going to clubs, voting, etc. so I felt like I had accomplished something. Then I went to college in a town where the age limit for cigarettes, clubs, etc. was 19, so when I turned 19 I once again felt like I accomplished something, albeit the same thing as a year ago.
Today I turned 20 and nothing happened. Not that leaving the teenage world is a curse or anything, and in the grand scheme of things this entire feeling is pretty insignificant, but whatever.
You can all go to hell. I'm fucking old.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-10-08 15:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll be 31 next month and my life is pretty much completely in shambles. My advice: get all your heinous errors in judgment out of the way now, while it's still cute to be a mess.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-10-07 09:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut your mouth, enjoy your youth, young'n.
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-10-06 13:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
this site, www.fmylife.com, is far superior to this post in every concievable way.
wait, I take that back. there are some boobs on uber, so there's a point in Bart's column.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-10-06 10:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear that.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2009-10-06 10:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're still just a pup. Get on with your bad self and enjoy the next decade. It's all down hill from there.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-10-06 03:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Childhood was so very, very, very awful. Everything was all about achievement and maximising and expanding your potential and assesments and having to be all this and that.
All I wanted to do was smoke blunts and touch pretty girls. The older I get, the easier it is to do these things so I reckon that being young is rubbish.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-05 19:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know what i wish i had done more of when i was 20?
i could put something 'cool' here like 'your mom' or 'more cocaine off strippers asses' or something, but that would be predictable and i really did have something i was going to say but now this whole review has gotten totally out of hand and i don't even remember what the fuck i was going to put here, so just pretend i did say 'your mom' and we'll all move forwards towards the promise of a bright tomorrow and a future filled with hope.
yeah.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-10-05 15:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
its all downhill from here on out, trust me
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-10-05 14:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-05-17 17:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm calling your mommy and telling her to take away your computer privileges...for being a fucking dumbass
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-10-04 23:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think most of the people on here are heading to hell, without your help.
Personally I will love being eighty, farting myself to death, telling anyone who will listen about "BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS" in a too loud voice, feeding my grandchildren hard candy that chokes them. Good times, good times.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-10-04 23:50:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
People always think they're old and then when they're even older they look back and realise that they weren't actually old at all and wonder what the fuck they were complaining about.
Enjoy where you're at, because as SpecialK (I think) said, it's going to get worse before it gets better.
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2009-10-04 23:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
22 is a lame year. You realize you're no longer a fun new age like 18 or 21 and should probably start getting your shit together. 22 is the beginning of a lifetime of herding shit.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2009-10-04 20:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
20 is a shitty year. You're too old to be considered an immature little fucktwat, and you're still too young to buy a beer.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-10-04 18:33:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good for you. There are too many stupid little kids on the Internet anyway.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-10-04 16:52:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
20 feels old to you?
The whole not being able to drink legally thing made me feel pretty young when I was 20.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2009-10-04 15:10:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's going to get worse before it gets better
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-10-04 14:05:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I will not.
But happy birthday n' stuff.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-04 10:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this still sucked and your still a whiney little pussy but I felt bad and I thought, "man what if he's really happy to be old" so there you go.
this post still deserves to be off the front page in my opinion.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-10-04 10:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sinistral or left lateral movement
Movement is sinistral (left-handed) if the block on the other side of the fault moves to the left, or if straddling the fault the left side moves toward the observer.
This sucked and you will totally laugh at yourself if you make to 30 without shooting yourself in the face for turning 25 you whining little pussy.
Also, go fuck yourself too.
and I would also like to add that you should skate it off.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-04 10:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-10-03 18:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But you're still a pimple-faced virgin, right?
This asshole stole my review.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-10-04 08:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Welcome to 20, you western white male*.
*If in fact you are a western white male, you passed your sexual peak two years ago and in two years you will be as healthy and energetic as you're ever going to get. Just tossing out the probabilities for you to dismiss on your 20th birthday, since it will take until your 30th birthday to fully realize the them for yourself.
Submitted by GroundHorse (user info) at 2009-10-04 06:41:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Uber users shouldn't be allowed to enter this site untill 21.
I was 34 when i came here for the first time. And it fucked up my life.
I see you have greater efficiency in fucking up, keep up the good work.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2009-10-04 04:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Balls. You're mates will phone you for beer later and you'll cheer up.
Submitted by RotAtoR (user info) at 2009-10-04 02:45:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Congrats and all that jazz.
Gotta work on a retirement plan now you're that old.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2009-10-04 01:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
shit!!!
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-10-04 01:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get used to it. It never gets any better.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-10-03 22:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's wierd, right?
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-10-03 22:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2009-10-03 19:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My friend and I have birthdays one day apart, to the year. We made a joke that we would have liked to be 19 for two years, then turn 21. 20 is a shitty age. That doesn't mean you're old, nor does it mean you can get away with posting something as shitty as this.
_________________
You'll always be a pimply faced prick if you beleive in yourself
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-10-03 19:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You're only 20?? I've been admiring the camwhores of jailbait all this time? Jesus, I feel like an ancient pedo now. Thanks for that.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2009-10-03 19:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My friend and I have birthdays one day apart, to the year. We made a joke that we would have liked to be 19 for two years, then turn 21. 20 is a shitty age. That doesn't mean you're old, nor does it mean you can get away with posting something as shitty as this.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2009-10-03 18:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It doesn't matter how old you get, people will continue to think that you're 15 and live in your parents' basement.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-10-03 18:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But you're still a pimple-faced virgin, right?