I Would Love to Serve on a Death Panel (706 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.11 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by X54 (View user info) at 2009-09-05 00:38:28 EDT
Just imagine it. The power and the glory of holding sway over someone else's life. Like serving on the jury during the penalty phase of a murder trial. Deciding whether the poor wretch before you lives or dies.
Lung cancer, is it? Well, you should of quit smoking. Didn't you ever read the warning label? I'm afraid the best we can do for you is a non-refillable prescription for cyanide.
A photograph came to mind as I wrote that of Herman Goering lying face up, eyes open and mouth agape on the little wooden bench in his cell. He took cyanide and cheated the Allies just hours before his hanging.
What's that you say? You never smoked? It was secondhand from your parents? And after them your husband? Quit making excuses! Everyone knows about the dangers of secondhand smoke. I'm afraid you'll have to take responsibility for your own decisions, young man. The chickens are coming home to roost.
I read somewhere that Goering kept his cyanide pill hidden in a secret compartment of his pipe. He must of had it all along, unless he bribed some guard into sneaking it in for him. But either way, he obviously had the means, so why did he wait so long before doing himself in?
AIDs, is it? How did you come to be afflicted by that? Oh, yes I think it does matter. Your lifestyle choice says a lot about what kind of person you are. These antiretrothingamapills are expensive, you know? We can't be handing them out to just anyone. And they won't even cure you. All they do is prolong your miserable life.
Could Goering possibly have held out hope that he wouldn't be convicted and hung? That would of required an act of faith any good religious fanatic would be proud of, like believing in 72 virgins or the Rapture. But the Nazis were atheists, not given to fantastic delusions, so it's hard to imagine Goering believing he'd escape the gallows.
Ha! That's what all you homos say. "A cure might be found before I croak." As if! The drug companies don't want to cure you, they want to milk you for all you're worth. Well we, the taxpayers, are on to that scam and we're not playing along. We're not buying their overpriced shit any more. They'll have to lower their prices if they want our business back. But until then, you're out of luck.
More likely Goering just wanted to stay alive for as long as he possibly could. The blind, unthinking will to live. Or maybe he worried about finding his victims waiting for him on the other side, thirsty for revenge.
Quit sobbing. You're all so histrionic, you people who are dying. What are you afraid of? You should welcome death as an escape from these last horrible days. But you never do. You insist on living every last miserable second. It's pathetic.
Maybe it's a mistake to think Goering had access to his cyanide pill all along. Maybe he'd of been happy to do himself in earlier, but the Allies wouldn't give him the chance. They wanted to get as much mileage out of him as possible. It would of been a public relations disappointment for the Nuremberg Trials if Goering had killed himself prematurely.
(Realistically, I doubt death panelists will have much say over who lives and who dies. They'll be following mandatory guidelines determined by a handful of appointees who are themselves subject to influence by--you guessed it--the healthcare industry. And the healthcare industry will want to keep you alive as long as the state will keep paying your bills.) Look. I personally don't buy your excuse about contracting AIDs through being forced into prostitution by your great-uncle. But the pharmaceutical lobby and the hospital lobby and the rest of them have joined up with the ACLU. They've taken pity on you for compassionate reasons and forced me to give you whatever you want. Congratulations! You'll get your expensive treatment after all. Right up until the bitter end.
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That's my prediction for the outcome of health care reform. Eventually, the healthcare provider and pharmaceutical industries will wake up and realize they've been acting like Brer Rabbit begging not to be thrown into the briar patch. We'll get our public option after all, but the healthcare provider lobby will determine the guidelines and prices. Private insurance will mostly be driven out of healthcare, except for a few high-end players that only the rich can afford. For all intents and purposes, we'll end up with a single payer system partially funded by a new, federal tax on internet commerce.
User Reviews
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2009-09-22 21:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But the Nazis were atheists, not given to fantastic delusions,
++++
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_Nazi_Germany
just saying...
unless you being sarcastic... in which case i failed "observing sarcasm in writing"
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-09-08 16:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-09-08 12:26:22 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and as for Goering, that fat fuck really did think he's beat the rap until the very last minute. He was hoping to do more smack and sell his mis-begotten art treasures that he stole.
He was the #2 guy in the Reich though, and with no Hitler to hang, he had to swing for it. Even though at the end of the war he was a fat joke with no air force to command.
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"During five months of preparations [for his trial], the Reich marshal [Goring] lost sixty pounds and underwent withdrawal from an addiction to forty paracodeine pills a day." (From the Time-Life Books series, The Third Reich)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-09-08 15:26:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-09-06 22:22:31 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just read that the next big trend in investment vehicles will be second-hand life insurance policies. Companies will buy life insurance policies from old people who don't want them any more. Then they'll sell them to the same banks and financial institutions that bought all those subprime mortgages. These banks and financial institutions will securitize them by slicing them up into little bits (figuratively speaking), bundling them together and selling them off to other banks and financial institutions for a premium. Then, when the original holder of the life insurance policy kicks the bucket, the benefits are paid out to the current holders.
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Goddamn son, that's the Next Big Thing...now I gotta dig up Billy Mays and get him to sell that shit for me.
Oh, and as for Goering, that fat fuck really did think he's beat the rap until the very last minute. He was hoping to do more smack and sell his mis-begotten art treasures that he stole.
He was the #2 guy in the Reich though, and with no Hitler to hang, he had to swing for it. Even though at the end of the war he was a fat joke with no air force to command.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2009-09-08 14:52:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Could of been better.
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-08 14:01:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did anyone google praerie fire like i asked? see what kind of guy william ayers really is?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-08 11:03:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i think i have lung cancer.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-09-07 22:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-09-07 01:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I just read that the next big trend in investment vehicles will be second-hand life insurance policies. Companies will buy life insurance policies from old people who don't want them any more. Then they'll sell them to the same banks and financial institutions that bought all those subprime mortgages. These banks and financial institutions will securitize them by slicing them up into little bits (figuratively speaking), bundling them together and selling them off to other banks and financial institutions for a premium. Then, when the original holder of the life insurance policy kicks the bucket, the benefits are paid out to the current holders.
Stay with me here and Follow the Money. Now the banks and financial institutions which are holding all these securitized life insurance policies have a vested interest in seeing the original holders die off as quickly as possible. And these banks and financial institutions have a lot of pull with the government.
Depending on whether these banks and financial institutions believe Obamacare will extend or shorten people's lives, they'll either lobby against it or for it. Which, depending on your point of view, explains either a) the resistance to health care reform; or b) it's raison d'etre.
This sounds like a real business opportunity for all you industrious kids out there. All you need is a line of credit for buying the first round of life insurance policies. Hell, you could probably get your dad's or your granddad's with no money down if you play your cards right.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-07 00:52:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure that with all the shit that went down with the global economy (yes Americans global, the shit you do does affect the other countries), I think that Obama should be allowed to have a little national debt. Besides aren't you happy that he is going to implement policies that will raise social and welfare standards for your fellow Americans?
Not that you should ask me, I'm not American and I'm prolly a flaming red commie.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-09-06 23:51:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 lungfish
...in a completely hetero way, of course.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-09-06 23:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
forthewin, your review is confusing. yes, he is quite good at manipulating stupid people, such as the horde of teenagers that voted for him. but is he a good president? hell no. the worst this country has ever had, look at what he's done to the deficit in only 8 months. close friends with bill ayers, a known terrorist.... google Praerie Fire (or however the fuck that's spelled) a book by William Ayers.
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Dude...
Let me play.
1) Look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:USDebt.png
Ronald Reagan *quadrupled* the national debt, almost doubling it in terms of percent-GDP -- a feat Obama is unlikely to match, by anybody's reasonable estimates. (Original source: whitehouse.gov during GWB's term.)
2) If I may use the same guilt-by-association logic that you employ, Ronald Reagan sold arms to Saddam Hussein. Saddam Hussein is worse than Bill Ayers.
Ergo, Ronald Reagan was worse than Obama.
Ta da!
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-09-06 20:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I swear this cheerios fellow gets stupider all the time. If it was all an act to rile people up on the Internets that would be one thing... But he actually believes the shit he spews. A perfect example of the American idiot.
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
forthewin, your review is confusing. yes, he is quite good at manipulating stupid people, such as the horde of teenagers that voted for him. but is he a good president? hell no. the worst this country has ever had, look at what he's done to the deficit in only 8 months. close friends with bill ayers, a known terrorist.... google Praerie Fire (or however the fuck that's spelled) a book by William Ayers.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-09-06 19:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think Obama is amazing at his job. At the same time, I really dislike him more every day. Not because he's a bad president, but because I disagree with him, and he is far too good at manipulating stupid people.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-06 14:20:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would love to tour the Southland
In a travelling minstrel show
Yes I'd love to tour the Southland
In a traveling minstrel show
Yes I'm dying to be a star and make them laugh
Sound just like a record on the phonograph
Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago, oh yeah
I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
'Cause he looks so fine upon that hill
They tell me he was lonely, he's lonely still
Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago, oh yeah
I stepped up on the platform
The man gave me the news
He said, You must be joking son
Where did you get those shoes?
Where did you get those shoes?
Well, I've seen 'em on the TV, the movie show
They say the times are changing but I just don't know
These things are gone forever
Over a long time ago, oh yeah
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-09-05 13:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Just say NO to Obama and his plans for "health care reform".
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-05 11:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would love to serve waffles.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-09-05 09:48:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you americans got no clue as to how this works in civilised nations?
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-09-05 05:12:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
His name was Hermann Goering.
Jack Wheelis did get very friendly with him once he came off the morphine.....
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-05 03:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I could be on a death sentence jury :(
Stupid British legal system.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-09-05 00:54:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fear that you're only partly right. Or, I'm glad that you're only partly right. Or, we're all dying from the day we were born. In any case, cigarettes are good for you, silly. Well maybe not for you, but for me and Dad they are.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-09-05 00:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops: http://www.ubersite.com/m/115839
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-09-05 00:39:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shooter's Ninth: http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_review.cgi?message=125212550854664809