igtpedn,artec,bthywu - episode two: in which our hero thinks about peanut butter. (870 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.89 on 96 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by random user (View user info) at 2009-09-02 17:11:34 EDT
The first time I was propositioned by a whore - the honest to goodness variety of whore where a cash exchange precedes some manner of penile stimulation and not just some drunk chick at a bar or your mother, Trebek - was outside of the U.S. Post Office main branch on Martin Luther King Dr. She said to me, all the while making a motion that looked very like she was trying to fist herself without first taking off her pants, "You know you wanna come try you some of this pussy, white boy. It's like peanut butter."
She then quoted prices and various upgrades to the service packages she offered (that's how I knew she was a whore and not just really into me. Smart, huh?)
That was probably 16 or 17 years ago, and I still haven't totally reconciled in my mind exactly what she meant.
Would her vagina stick to the roof of my mouth?
The chunky or creamy debate takes on a lot greater significance in this context, right?
Is it like the natural/organic where you have to stir it all together first to get the most satisfying experience out of it, which would seem to parallel well with what I know about vaginas?
Or is this more of a Peter Pan 'open and go' sort of experience, which porn has taught me is the case with all vaginas?
Can you rub it on Mr. Ed's gums so it looks like he's talking?
What sort of jam would go well with it?
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-11-10 04:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOWSERS!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-10-13 14:00:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And wouldn't you know it, look who drove in the go-ahead run for the win.
The munchkin was likely lost in a frenzy of Werth-inspired diddling in the late hours of the night.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-12 18:08:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he played little league with my younger brother. they were on all-star team a few years together, and all the other kids on the team said he smelled of urine.
idk if it's true, i'm just SAYING...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-10-12 17:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The midget will be too busy weeping over not having Jayson Werth on her television screen any more if the Phillies lose to Colorado, and will be too overwhelmed to take little ol' me to task for any sort of presumed bias I might have.
He is, after all, the go-to Fantasy Phillies Sex participant of choice.
Despite looking like this BITD:
http://baltimoresun.image2.trb.com/balnews/media/photo/2008-05/39385185.jpg
Awkwaaaard.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-12 14:01:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and i'd say something about 'next year', but then i'd sound like a cubs fan.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-12 14:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
careful cheering for the rockies, orgasmo, or the midget will be along to take off your head.
and ours mirrored yours... no stick from the big boys, no fucking heart in any of the three games. except wainwright, who came out and pitched a masterful game against a damn good team. only guy who wanted to win. his spot in the order or not, he shouldn't have sat at that point. he's a hell of a good hitting pitcher anyway. couldn't have done worse than the long flyout we got instead.
so, we trot out ryan franklin, a classic april - august pitcher. get our first 2. holliday sticks his thumb in his own ass. meltdown.
we have the winningest post-season pitcher in all of fucking baseball sitting on his ass in our dugout(thanks Bo-Sox) watching as this happens, a couple of hungry rookies, and NOTHING. WTF, LaRussa? i dig letting a guy try to solve his own problems, but at some point you have to ask if you want to watch one slip away, and the answer to that question should always be a resounding fucking 'NO.'
i guess now i'm cheering for the angels and the rockies.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-12 13:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Also we, were something like 7,8 games above .500 post All Star Break "white flag surrender" mode, after dumping Holiday and Cabrera (minus the last week of the season), and with rookie starting pitchers starting a record 130-something times this year.
The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-10-12 13:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Completely devastating, all around. Here's hoping to a Rockies victory today to make a go of it.
Baseball in 30 degree weather? Colorado probably hadn't seen that many shriveled dicks since the last Ubercon was held there.
Papelbon shit his pants on the mound yesterday. Though you can't have your 4, 5 and 6 hitters rack up four hits in three games and expect to win. Ellsbury was one of the only guys playing like he actually seemed to care.
I felt bad for Holliday when I saw that play, and then as things wore on and on I felt worse for Franklin. It really should have been a great series. I can't believe that Vicente Padilla gets to advance to a championship series.
Shlong - Take heart in knowing that your boys had the most wins of any last place team this year.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:55:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Matt Holliday forgot how to catch a ball and the Cards shit the bed.
Maybe my team will pick him up in the offseason and he'll teach them all how to hit and maybe remind the bullpen how not to blow a fucking lead in an elimination game.
Brothers in division series sweeps!
---
i just yelled 'FUCK' at the television, using my 'outside voice' and then went downstairs and beat the shit out of the bag for about half an hour after that.
and the StL organization won't be able to afford/will be unwilling to pay what Boras asks for him, so you guys will likely get a shot. on the second part it's no dice though, as he fogot to teach ours how to do that.
THREE sweeps in the DS's. wtf?
how'd oakland do in the postseason shlongy? they made it, right?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You can have Holiday. MY TEAM had him for half a year and it was excrutiating to watch him hit singles and stink it out in the American League.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-10-12 11:08:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Matt Holliday forgot how to catch a ball and the Cards shit the bed.
Maybe my team will pick him up in the offseason and he'll teach them all how to hit and maybe remind the bullpen how not to blow a fucking lead in an elimination game.
Brothers in division series sweeps!
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what if you did it in a kind of homo voice that reminded you of a show tunes actor and sported a sun tan city sort of tan?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-07 11:46:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you'd have to ask bosh that one mr. poots, for that string of words is simply an old post of his which i submitted as a manly review to his manly news.
if i was to hazard a guess, it would be 'yes', as long as you snarled it manacingly.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2009-09-07 09:26:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-07 04:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Real men don't cry. Real men don't bitch. Real men, men like me, don't give a fuck about shit. Men like me learn from their mistakes, then they make 'em again just because. Then they eat a 96 ounce steak and wash it down with a nice tall glass of buttery mashed potatoes. That's what real men do.
Real men, manly men, fix all their problems with elbow grease, beef jerky, and the American flag. Real men don't drive SUV's, real men drive Dodge trucks. Real men talk about Hemis, Angus beef burgers, and Pamela Anderson. Real men don't give two shits about World Cup soccer or Lance Armstrong. Real men boo Lance Armstrong. Real men have balls.
Manly men like me don't need women. Being manly is about not needin' shit. And womens is less than shit. Me? I jerk off to my reflection and I jizz lighter fluid. Know why? Cause I'm a real manly man.
Real men smoke Marlboro reds and ride wild stallions and drop kick rattlesnakes. Real men shave with chainsaws and guzzle Jim Beam and body slam elephants and throw special ed buses over mountains. Real men punt babies and break things. Real men eat grenades and shit mortar shells. Real men read Shakespeare. Then we laugh at how fuckin' queer it is. That's what real men do.
Real manly men don't do pilates or yoga or hee-cha kung fu fuck. Real men bench press cement trucks and hunt after grizzly bears with a moldy toothrbrush. Hell, I know this sumbitch Tom Jenkins did just that. Didn't come back alive. Died like a man though. More than I can say for you. Shit.
Know what I just did? Grew a beard. Yep. Took two seconds. Damn thing's down to my feet by now. Guess what now. Fuckin' shaved it.
Yeah. Pretty fuckin' manly. Probably goin' to the Hip Hugger later. Probably see you there. If you got the balls.
I ain't got nothin' else to say. Real men don't say much. Ya'll wanna find me, I'll be out in the middle of the street flexin' my muscles and talkin' Nascar.
-------
To settle a bet could you answer a question for me? Yes? Thanks! Do real men say "bingo"?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-09-03 08:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I went to high school with a girl that we all called Skippy.
...because she spread easy.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-09-03 07:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.
Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier.
Sean Connery: Gussy it up however you want, Trebek. What matters is does it work? Will it really mighty my penis, man?
Alex Trebek: It's not a product, Mr. Connery.
Sean Connery: Because I've ordered devices like that before - wasted a pretty penny, I don't mind telling you. And if The Penis Mightier works, I'll order a dozen.
Alex Trebek: It's not a Penis Mightier, Mr. Connery. There's no such thing!
Nicholas Cage: Wait, wait, wait.. are you selling Penis Mightiers?
Alex Trebek: No! No, I'm not.
Sean Connery: Well, you're sitting on a gold mine, Trebek!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-09-02 23:58:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ima read more reviews later when I..can, but I'll start with this-
'The chunky or creamy debate takes on a lot greater significance in this context, right?'
This made me nauseous enough not to feel bad about mentioning that I'm bleeding from my vagina.
And speaking of blood..did I understand something correctly- you don't eat meat, but you enjoy black pudding? ewwwwwwwwww
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-09-02 23:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I have to describe my vagina, I would say coffee and donuts.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-09-02 23:12:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahhah so the whorzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-09-02 23:11:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:58:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck it, I laughed. And this also hit very close to home.....
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like posts about pussies and peanut butter. I posted one once myself, and I say there's not a much better combination. Pussy is better than chocolate even.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
um... i'm sorry spamuel (or whoever owns that account now.), but this post was fucking fantastic.
maybe YOU just can't properly appreciate the finer things in life? perhaps all the delicate, subtle hints in it were lost on you?
that's my guess.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-03 01:12:03 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
bubbas wife can eat shit as far as im concerned.
Proof this stupid wanker made up that whole story about his comatose wife for sympathy.
What a pathetic twat.
Right after I called Bubba out on all the inconsistencies in his story this willartstorg went to -2 portions of my most excellent catalogue.
PROOF you are both bubba and retarded, sir.
Not necessarily in that order.
He's also a paedophile.
This post was shite, btw.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wat?!
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well,you are no different than the average uber user. they all know everythiing. most of them are wrong.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH SHIT. MY BAD, DUDE.
i mean, the smell of little boy penis was so palpable it was coming through the screen so i just assumed, you know?
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bubbas wife can eat shit as far as im concerned.
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:11:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if i were bubba i might be pissed. have a +2, you misjudging moron. i said i wasnt bubba.....
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh hey! how's your wife, bubba? any more desperate attempts at escaping you via suicide?
Submitted by willartstorg (user info) at 2009-09-02 20:04:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you seem to expect automatic +2s. sorry, american fool.....
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 19:39:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck yeah you totally should linus!
last time i posted every day i went on a huge streak of one day, but i feel that i can really ride the wave this time and go probably three or four months with the proper schedule and encourgaements and applause and so on. this time i'll be a contender.
EVERY hooker i've ever talked (about 10 or 12)has called me white boy, even the white ones. now it looks like i seek out whore so i'll go back and put a number in parentheses and right after that come back HERE and explain that i've never used a hookers services but i'm not one to not talkto somebody just because they sexually service other people for cash. i talk to homeless people and crazies too. IT'S ABOUT GATHERING INSIGHT AND SHIT, MAN.
yo.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 19:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
doodles, i have no idea wtf you're talking about. this differs from the norm by zero percent, so i'm not sure why i mentioned it.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-09-02 19:18:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I should post everyday too!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahaha, peanut butter. I love hooker-talk. SEE ABOUT IT WHITEBOY.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:58:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ugh, if anyone said "tits" to me in regards to my own during a moment of "aggressive sexual intimacy", I would kick their ass right out of my bed
___________________________________
Hmmm, maybe it's just me... but I have a feeling that your idea of "aggressive sexual intimacy" and mine are DRASTICALLY different.
You seem far too... nice? normal? innocent? sane? One of those.
Same applies to the whole stripper situation.
--
uugh?!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHOOPS!
it's your fault for being fat though, really
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:38:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
caul=joker btw
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:32:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
She meant it was packed full of protein and fat.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:10:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Spic!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
GOODBYE
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:08:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ugh, if anyone said "tits" to me in regards to my own during a moment of "aggressive sexual intimacy", I would kick their ass right out of my bed
___________________________________
Hmmm, maybe it's just me... but I have a feeling that your idea of "aggressive sexual intimacy" and mine are DRASTICALLY different.
You seem far too... nice? normal? innocent? sane? One of those.
Same applies to the whole stripper situation.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
mint jelly is only for people with very small penis.
you type like i shit.
girl, you'll be a woman soon.
i wrote that poem just for you, wigger.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:05:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
okay.
i love you all.
i'm going home.
i have a big leather chair there.
i will sit in it.
bye bye.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-09-02 18:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"Do I diddy diddy dum ditty doo" I said--not sang--to myself as I took my Swiss Army (c) knife out of my pocket. Carefully unwrapping my Burberry (c) scarf from around my neck I began to unfold my Swiss Army (c) knife and craftily make a slit in the scarf. I plunged my femtopenis into the picohole forcefully and in turn ripping the scarf, after all my initial plan was to make a tourniquet; the tears wouldn't matter. I placed the (no longer Burberry (c) ) in the crotch of my elbow on one end, the other end in my mouth. I made a Rambo (c) tourniquet around my head to prevent all the knowledge from slipping out, knowledge that Fox News (c) taught me over several years in ice skating camp. Next, I pulled my lucky wolverine claw off of my neck and made a scalp incision about 3 inches above my left ear (I got an insider tip from Ron, of the famed Captain Ron (c) ) so that I could harness my knowledge, careful not to let too much go. If the carefully placed Sears and Roebuck (c) bag slipped off from under the tourniquet I would spend years trying to learn basic motor skills again as some of the knowledge I was trying to harness is "born-with" knowledge and not just learned knowledge. Accidentally the bag slipped off because I overfilled it rendering me completely helpless. Then I logged on to uber site and shit on a page, September 2nd, 2009 under the submission name "Random User" but under associated name "Scourge." Man do I hat poo on uber.
It is mint jelly, stupid dumb dumb!
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would be the worst stripper ever! I am not too concerned but thank you anywaaay
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not to say you'd ever want to be a stripper, but if it WAS in your plans you're totally fucked.
sorry dude.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:56:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that means you can never be a stripper, ballare.
NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ugh, if anyone said "tits" to me in regards to my own during a moment of "aggressive sexual intimacy", I would kick their ass right out of my bed
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
see, here's the boobies vs. titties thing:
boobies are soft and round. like a full moon.
titties are sharp and perky. smallish with little upturned nipples.
_______________________________
Interesting.
I have, in fact, heard this same argument multiple times before...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i think lots of strippers could be said to have titties.
i think roosters just do whatever they want, whenever they want.
i think i'm going to shoot myself in the foot to see if it REALLY hurts or just sort of hurts.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
not that i know, because women are evil and i would never willingly put my hands on one. you go to HELL for that.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge = AUTO +2
"Boobies" is fine in casual context. As is a simplified "Boobs."
"Titties" is never okay. "Tits," however, is good for use during aggressive sexual intimacy.
My parents do NOT live in the country. They live in a nice suburb. Regardless, one of their neighbors has a rooster for whatever reason. It is a retarded rooster. It makes noise regardless of what time of day it is. Unless all roosters actually do this and we were all LIED to as children by cartoons.
Jif Peanut Butter FTW. All other peanut Butter is inferior.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:45:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
see, here's the boobies vs. titties thing:
boobies are soft and round. like a full moon. calming and comforting and snuggly and warm.
titties are sharp and perky. smallish with little upturned nipples. they look like if you grabbed them they'd be almost too hot to touch.
i could make a case for either of these being pretty great.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:45:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:41:24 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
so to summarize:
cock-cocksucking =/= gay
boobies > titties
and peanut butter vagina is a fucking mystery
????
profit!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:41:24 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
so to summarize:
cock-cocksucking =/= gay
boobies > titties
and peanut butter vagina is a fucking mystery
---------
sounds like a good business model.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:42:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes. I think that could be said surely, scourge, yes.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:40:54 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
goodnight
-------
someone's found a rooster and a jar of peanut butter.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:41:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so to summarize:
cock-cocksucking =/= gay
boobies > titties
and peanut butter vagina is a fucking mystery
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:40:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
goodnight
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:40:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
woah, woah, woah.
Comments are getting mixed up. I can't type that fast.
Yes, that's down to alcohol.
For future reference, drinking other guys tots is not fine, but licking chunky peanut butter rooster vaginas is ok.
What?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh my gosh I just realized I never actually read the post OH MY GOSH
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
black pudding is fucking good, you heathen.
and mind the rating, children, it's climbing a bit higher than i am comfortable with.
now as far as fellating a rooster goes, i'd say the double down cock thing is some sort of reverse-o change-o thing. like a double negative. so it wouldn't be gay, just bestiality. unless you're a hen of course. their lack of lips poses some significant challenges though.
hrm.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:34:24 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
listen up, chaos-ching, if you can't contribute to the discussion any better than all of that, it's best if you just watch from the sidelines.
besides, i don't drink. imbibing in alcohol is one of the evils of Satan.
-------------
you are a lame pirate.
you could at least give a YO-HO-HO and a tot of rum.
I'll drink yours for you.
Your rum, that is.
I refer to my rooster comment.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i have only had it once kk, its not as common down south
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
tee-hee, EI, tee-hee!
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe because it's ... um paleish in colour? and it have a smell? as well as a taste? oddish lumpy bits all over the place?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU BRITISH TYPES!?!?!? BLACK PUDDING!?!?!?
Seriously, blood mixed with spices and a bit of oatmeal, correct?
Heated until it forms into a scab-like thing.
you PURPOSELY make SCABS in you KITCHEN.
AND THEN EAT THEM!
WTF!!!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh ballare..... you flirt
:P
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:34:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
listen up, chaos-ching, if you can't contribute to the discussion any better than all of that, it's best if you just watch from the sidelines.
besides, i don't drink. imbibing in alcohol is one of the evils of Satan.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:33:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here you are, scourge, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4 but you can keep the peanut butter vagina thought please ahhh I do not want to consider it any more
I too less-than-three Mr. Emissions!!!1!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:28:15 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
do you eat beans for breakfast, joey? because that's far more odd than jam and peanut butter together, whether it's from a vagina or in between bread.
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only on a sunday. baked beans form a nice, natural barrier between fried egg and black pudding.
and all of the above can be had between vagina or bread, I'm really not bothered, i just get hungry after a lie in.
I can't help with the house music though. I listen to radio 2. I press a button on my car stereo, and Terry Wogan comes on. I press the button again, he goes away.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww, Scourgey-poo got to go home from work early to get started on the booze right away!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
YES, EI. CHUNKY.
it's like creamy, only with bits in it. i think it's for degenerates and mongoloids mostly. the penaut butter machine probably needed a tune up one day, cranked some of this shit out, and they sold it as a new improved product.
fucking monsters.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how is a vagina "like peanut butter" anyway? how is that possible?
---
SEE?!
this has bothered me for a decade and a half. now it's in your brain and maybe i can be rid of it.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chunky peanut butter?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:28:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do you eat beans for breakfast, joey? because that's far more odd than jam and peanut butter together, whether it's from a vagina or in between bread.
also, i'd like it if someone could link me to some very fast paced electronic music. house music. or club music. or dance music. or whatever the fuck people younger and cooler than me call that shit now.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:28:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i (that funny heart sign) Ballare
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cover the chickens in peanut butter~
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:27:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how is a vagina "like peanut butter" anyway? how is that possible?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
im looking after 4 chickens this week
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:26:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
boobies > titties
boobies is so nice and round in your mouth: booooobiieeees
boobboobboobies
also, alas, no. my vagina is not like peanut butter, but thank you for asking!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:24:30 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
you mean like a rooster?
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I wouldn't go down on a rooster.
That would be gay, peanut butter or no.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you mean like a rooster?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:24:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It seems to have its pros and cons.
I like peanut butter, but I draw the line at mixing it with jelly in a sandwich.
I'm English, after all.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cock
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE INDEED.
what's the greatest thing: boobies or titties?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maybe one day you can get some peanut butter like pussy from a whore outside of a post office, joey? i think you're supposed to like this idea.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:21:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't know anything about erections, lady. my mom used to hit my dick with a wooden spoon when it'd get hard. she said that was the devil trying to get inside of me. true story.
is your vagina anything like peanut butter?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
But I already have that.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO LIVE FOR :(
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:19:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the prize, young joseph, is internet herpes.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:17:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8sl4tDOZ2o
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:17:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 22:13:53 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm going to post every day now, and respond to every comment, because that's how you win uber
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What's 1st prize?
I missed that in Uber 101
Is it bart?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:13:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm going to post every day now, and respond to every comment, because that's how you win uber.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-09-02 17:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the answer is strawberry or peach, of course.