The Guilty Pleasure Of Bad Movies Part 17 - Transmorphers (No This Isn't A Typo) (642 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: -0.53 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by frankthebear (View user info) at 2009-07-13 17:09:54 EDT
TransMORPHERS!
Shitty C.G.I!
TransMORPHERS!
Makes me want to die!
Sweet Christing fuck! Even if this isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, it's definitely in the top 10. It's not just poorly written, it's poorly made. The computer animation is the cheap, shitty quality you'll find on "SyFy" channel, the sound effects are all messed up, the editing is choppy and confusing, sometimes the ADR (additional dialogue recording) is missing, so you see people's lips moving, but nothing's coming out.
So anyway, the movie starts out with a very brief explanation that humans discovered another planet with intelligent life, sent a message of peace, and five years later, the alien robots sent an invasion force to take over the earth. Flash forward 100 years, and the humans have set up a resistance stronghold to battle the "Zbots." I don't know how or when they come up with this name for them, but there it is. The whole human resistance thing borrows strongly from both Terminator and Starship Troopers.
After this, nothing really makes sense. The hero is some guy named Mitch, who was frozen in suspended animation for a 100 year sentence for treason for no explained reason. So this is staling the basic plot from Demolition Man. Also there's some bullshit about his old girlfriend hooking up with the general (female) who charged him with treason. I don't know what they were thinking.
Then there's some kind of plot where they want to capture one of the bots so they can use it's power pack to send a signal to the bots main tower to send a shutdown signal. Apparently, these power packs are multi-functional: they power the bots (obviously), send homing signals, transmit signals and messages, and so on.
Some more incomprehensible crap happens and eventually we get to the final battle. Somehow it gets established that Mitch is a man-made Zbot and is able to gain access to the tower to transmit the shutdown signal, but only after we establish that doing so will mean sacrificing himself. What a fucking hero.
Naturally the tower "transMORPHS" into a giant robot, and the tower, or Tower, leads the main attack against the human stronghold, and at the last second (of course) Mitch shuts down the army, laying down his so-called life and saving the humans. The End. OR IS IT?!?!
There's a sequel which I haven't seen yet, but I shudder to think how much worse this must be. This movie is a waste of time, space, and dimension. It is an affront to the entire fabric of reality. Check it out.
User Reviews
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-07-14 23:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus christ, frank.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-07-14 20:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-07-13 15:25:00 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sjCcg123Y8&feature=related
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hhahaah...good vid!
+1 for the image.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-07-14 13:15:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Never heard of it.
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2009-07-14 10:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
AHAHHAHAHAH
Transmorphers and several other movies with titles "similar" to movies about to be released are nothing more than bids to get people who are fuckingretarded to rent their pieces of crap from Blockbuster.
Simple scene: Grandma is walking with the little shits she's been forced to watch, their screaming about Transformer and just to shut them up they grab something that looks/sounds like the title the kiddies want.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-07-14 09:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Frankthevirgin -2.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2009-07-14 07:02:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't even sit through a good movie.
Submitted by cheerios (user info) at 2009-07-14 02:11:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-14 00:05:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol @ apollo and messmind
-2 @ frank
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2009-07-13 20:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 20:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you ever watched even ONE movie that I have seen?
(That's a rhetorical question...I really don't give a shit).
--------------------------------------------
Star Wars?
I've honestly never seen it or any of the sequels (prequels?).
What I HAVE seen is this- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugk37TvIR8E - numerous times.
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Pfft, I own the DVD. His Hollywood Squares stuff is a billion times better.
Anyway, the first transformers sucked. Who could watch the second one after seeing how bad the first was? That's like complaining that the turd you covered with cheeze whiz still tastes like shit.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 20:11:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you ever watched even ONE movie that I have seen?
(That's a rhetorical question...I really don't give a shit).
--------------------------------------------
Star Wars?
I've honestly never seen it or any of the sequels (prequels?).
What I HAVE seen is this- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugk37TvIR8E - numerous times.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sjCcg123Y8&feature=related
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:21:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you ever watched even ONE movie that I have seen?
(That's a rhetorical question...I really don't give a shit).
--------------------------------------------
Star Wars?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:13:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Have you ever watched even ONE movie that I have seen?
(That's a rhetorical question...I really don't give a shit).
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-07-13 18:10:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
okay.
rated, virgin.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:55:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I saw this one. It sucked.
Submitted by frankthebear (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die you cunt.
no this isn't a typo.
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rate the post, not the poster
fucker
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-07-13 17:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
die you cunt.
no this isn't a typo.