Brand New Products that You Should Buy Immediately (765 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.88 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Little Sally & BLT (View user info) at 2009-07-12 06:11:36 EDT
So Sally and I were sitting on an airplane the other day, and after playing a few games of gin rummy on the taxiway we discovered that this certain airline offers wireless access on-board as soon as you reach ten thousand feet. I won't tell you the name of this airline, but it starts with a D and ends with an elta. Oh boy! Wireless access on an airplane!
I've been told for years that enabling a wireless adapter or a cell phone on an airplane would interfere with the plane's navigational systems and probably crash it; yet here is an airline fully willing to take a risk in order to offer the best possible in-flight experience for their passengers. What pioneers!
When we reached the appropriate altitude I fired up my laptop and went to the most entertaining website I could think of.
LITTLE SALLY: Oh my god! What are you watching???
BLT: It's called "throat-fucking"
LS: Oh dear, that's awful. Doesn't it hurt the girl?
BLT: It sure seems to.
LS: EWWWW!!! She's throwing up all over his penis! Does that turn you on?
BLT: No, not really.
LS: Then why do you watch it?
BLT: How could you not?
MOTHER ACROSS THE AISLE WITH TWO KIDS: Excuse me, but I don't really think that's
appropriate to watch on an airline.
BLT: Aww, how old are yours? Sally here is thirteen.
Anyhow, the battery life on my laptop is only about thirteen minutes, so afterwards Sally and I had to entertain ourselves with some good old-fashioned "plane" fun. Pun intended. You all can write that one down, if you like. You don't even have to give me credit. That's a 100 carat joke right there.
So in an effort to entertain ourselves, we started flipping through the "Skymall" magazine, and by doing so we have found some products that YOU SHOULDN'T BE LIVING WITHOUT.
User Reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-07-20 06:42:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyfc10qDcR4
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-07-16 04:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha!
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-07-14 14:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I need some of that Poop Freeze, for real. I'm house-training a puppy and picking up fresh dog turds is no picnic.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-07-13 19:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
beeltea (user info) 8 on 7 = 1.14
it seems i should look at your stuff more often
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-07-13 16:30:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll take 2 orders of the truck antlers plz. One for my truck, and one for my bicycle. Do you take VISA?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-07-13 15:55:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-07-13 09:51:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-07-12 06:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, yeah.
Can I have the URL for that throat fucking site?
_____________
joeygsmom.com
----------------
3 years too late, unless you're into necrophilia........
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-07-13 14:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're a very funny young man.
i approve of your continued existence.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-07-13 13:51:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This had me laughing out loud and aisde from the Poop Freeze (it has the word Poop in the product name!) <------(just in case you didn't realize that) the biggest laugh came from the joint KFC/Taco Bell. Not sure why exactly...
Submitted by AyeCarumba (user info) at 2009-07-13 11:37:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poop freeze makes the poop go all hard to make it easier to pick up, presumably to throw at people.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-07-13 10:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Airlines only disallow mobiles because it forces anyone who wants to make a call to use the extortionate airline phones you get.
it's like hospitals, it's been recently discovered, here in the UK at least, that the companies that manage those bedside phones in Hospitals have contracts with the hospitals in which they must not allow mobiles in the wards. It's nothing to do with the equipment, it's all about taking advantage of a captive, vulnerable market.
Capitalism people. we're here to pay and pay we must.
(watched Che - part 1 last night so expect much anti-capitalism from me)
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-07-13 07:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2009-07-12 17:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Airlines have multi million dollar systems in their aircraft... beleive me its better made than what the military rides in unless you ride in something really fancy but then you have to suck some dick to get the job.
----
Little Sally wants to know where to sign up.
For the dick-sucking, that is.
She doesn't even need a job.
Submitted by spuj (user info) at 2009-07-13 06:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-07-13 09:51:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-07-12 06:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, yeah.
Can I have the URL for that throat fucking site?
_____________
joeygsmom.com
_____________
ok lol.......
but seriously what is the URL
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-07-13 04:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-07-12 06:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, yeah.
Can I have the URL for that throat fucking site?
_____________
joeygsmom.com
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-07-12 20:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahh, that's wonderful. When the missus and I are on a plane, we like to find the most expensive thing on the list, and then inquire about buying it, just to get their hopes up.
Submitted by SilentRenegade (user info) at 2009-07-12 17:13:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cell phones dont do shit to the navigation system.... I fly in blackhawks everyday with my cell phone on. We do just fine hell I even text while crewing (not piloting mind you). The GPS still gets us to where we want to go and none of the instruments fuck up. Airlines have multi million dollar systems in their aircraft... beleive me its better made than what the military rides in unless you ride in something really fancy but then you have to suck some dick to get the job.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2009-07-12 16:36:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I live in fear of the airlines allowing cell phones in flight.
true
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-07-12 09:33:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A friend of mine introduced me to the in-flight fun that is Sky Mall. I had no idea that such products were available to me. Flipping through it and picking them out is her favorite part of the flight.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-07-12 07:25:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-07-12 06:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-07-12 06:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uh, yeah.
Can I have the URL for that throat fucking site?