How to be "Internet Funny" (2036 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetRating: 0.8 on 68 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (View user info) at 2009-06-03 00:38:48 EDT
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-11-04 12:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-06-03 08:34:46 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This example could have used some more "funny".
Actually, even just SOME funny.
Submitted by moopy4u (user info) at 2009-06-08 20:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cooool!!! ^_^
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2009-06-08 09:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right. I'm sorry. I am contributing to a plague on Internet comedy.
Here's a video apology for my actions: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-06-08 04:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is technically the best post ever, then?
Submitted by Jaurenlo (user info) at 2009-06-07 13:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty true here.
lol @ the demotivator though...it was funny a few years ago. Now its tired.
Submitted by renz0r (user info) at 2009-06-07 08:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IT'S FUNNY CUZ IT'S TRUE!
Submitted by sir_cowman (user info) at 2009-06-07 01:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
i like lolcats.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2009-06-05 13:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOTHING FUNNIER THAN THE TRUTH
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2009-06-04 17:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2009-06-04 14:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bitter
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-06-04 13:35:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-04 04:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-06-03 23:57:39 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-06-03 17:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
d_r is not 58
=====================
Old? Yeah, relatively speaking, some of us are. Me, Joedaddy, Shlongy, JonnyX, BigMike, MickGinny, etc.
No one seems willing to actually give their REAL age. I also doubt that DR is 58.
=====================
i'd imagine D_R is 39
===============
If so, I have children older than he.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-04 04:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-06-03 23:57:39 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-06-03 17:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
d_r is not 58
=====================
Old? Yeah, relatively speaking, some of us are. Me, Joedaddy, Shlongy, JonnyX, BigMike, MickGinny, etc.
No one seems willing to actually give their REAL age. I also doubt that DR is 58.
=====================
i'd imagine D_R is 39
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2009-06-04 01:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I lol'd.
Submitted by bustedcompass (user info) at 2009-06-03 19:39:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-06-03 19:05:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, I'm willing to bet 20 +2s that the only one on the site older than I am would be joedaddy, and I'm not so sure about that. C'mon, guys, 'fess up.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-06-03 18:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-06-03 17:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
d_r is not 58
=====================
Old? Yeah, relatively speaking, some of us are. Me, Joedaddy, Shlongy, JonnyX, BigMike, MickGinny, etc.
No one seems willing to actually give their REAL age. I also doubt that DR is 58.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-06-03 18:36:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-06-03 18:09:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BBBWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh God, my balls hurt from laughing at that!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2009-06-03 18:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how is this only a .62?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-06-03 17:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
d_r is not 58
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2009-06-03 16:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, have a +2 because I think the same thing on a regular basis, but never actually put it into words.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2009-06-03 14:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-06-03 13:12:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sadly, this is an accurate representation of 99% of the so called "humour" you find on the internet.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-06-03 11:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This example could have used some more "funny".
Actually, even just SOME funny.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-06-03 11:33:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lolcats are getting old
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-03 11:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That's nice. Complete hostility when there's no reason for it.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-06-03 11:04:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you look super old too me cro magnon all apologetic girl. and hi danny - email me when you find the internet under a rock in the desert you bearded old apache loving twatcunt.
Here's a list:
experiment,
her ring wraith, hancock, her sandfaced indiana jones nazi backwards being born guy and sardo numspa from the golden child.
All her. and faggirl makes six. or sex as e_cun_git_ewe_e_tew would say, because she is a duckhuud.
I would like to leave you all with this thought, today some idiot texted me because they can't type in a number, "Clement D. Shaney arrived safe & sound at 9:02am - 3.3kgs of dark haired cuteness :). little family all in love x"
wtf I thought? and sent them a text pretending I was their grandma.
They texted me back with thank you for your lovely thought, but you're not grandma.
No shit sherlock I thought, and then spammed them with lemon party links.
the moral of the story is don't type phone numbers into your cell that are a numeral off, because it's no necessarily grandma - it's not necessarily going to be ppf but it could just be an arsehole.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just waiting for the next 'I'm dying' post.
*drums fingers*
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:39:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
get fucked Uber!
bloody typo
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Danger Ranger is 58. Or as he says 111010
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Danger Ranger is 58. Or as he says 1110010
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:37:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HANG ON EVERYONE I'M DRUNK AND HIGH AT THE SAME TIME AND LISTENING TO PAPER PLANES BY MIA SO gimme a chance im back out into twown im utterly fucked but this may be fun
later kids.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh stop. You don't look ancient.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:31:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Not at all, FG. I understand that I am quite ancient-looking. Red meat, cigarettes, whiskey, and marriage have done this to me. And I wouldn't haven't any different. Except for the marriage bit.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:24:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:22:24 CDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Danger_Ranger is a year or so older than I am. I just look older. Damn.
====
No shit? Damn. I'm sorry Lungy! Don't hate me. :*(
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Danger_Ranger is a year or so older than I am. I just look older. Damn.
Don't forget joedaddy.
I'm seeing a commonality of awesomeness here.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-06-03 10:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're clearly not on my level yet.
Too sad.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:59:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bigmike and MickGinny would round out the list.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
retal
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:58:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and FG!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:58:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont even think this is symptomatic of the internet, its just the lowest common denominator at work - its just more noticeable because of the internet.
all of those things were once funny, they just got done over and over and over and over and over by people who arent funny. like evertyhing after page 3 on icanhascheezburger.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-03 07:58:32 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 to anyone who can name more than 5 people on Uber older than Danger_Ranger.
the old Fuck.
===
I don't know about 5, but there's
Shlongy
Lungfish
& Bubba.
How old is DR anyway? I might be able to finish the list.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-06-03 09:26:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha ha Sgt.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-03 08:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 to anyone who can name more than 5 people on Uber older than Danger_Ranger.
the old Fuck.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-06-03 08:46:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121640
oh my god I have done this...
I'Z DE FUNNIEST MUPHUKKA ON TEH INTARWEBZ
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-06-03 08:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile (+1)
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-06-03 08:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn the plebs who dare laugh at crap on the internet.
Submitted by zeppert (user info) at 2009-06-03 08:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-06-03 07:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
quite accurate
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-06-03 07:29:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck it, I laughed...
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-06-03 06:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just ignore every rating that isn't a +2.
That way, you'll have an ongoing perfect streak.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-06-03 06:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This aggression will not stand
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2009-06-03 05:46:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unappreciated genius
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2009-06-03 05:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I was trying not to like it then I saw 'The number of times the French have surrendered' and you sort of got me. Actually in retrospect I was smiling throughout.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-06-03 05:07:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
highly unamusing
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-06-03 04:04:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
eureka
fuck you bart
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-06-03 04:04:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
About a week later I was driving my kids back to their mum's house. As we waited at the top of the hill, my bad knee holding in the clutch waiting for a break in traffic, I watched some musclebound twat jog by and muttered something like "stupid fag with his stupid awesome working knees.."
"what did you say Dad" piped a little voice from the back.
"oh......nothing.....i was just commenting on how that guy can run like it's his god given right..."
I looked to my left and an elderly gentleman was walking briskly in the opposite direction to the jogger, in his......'walking' gear.
"heh" I thought, "fucking show-off I can't even do that."
"Hey Dad, you're like THAT guy now" gesturing to the old man. "You're like Poppy that guy even LOOKS like him!"
I wasn't sure if it was the revelation that stopped me from kicking them out on the footpath or my ex-wifes ensuing wrath if I did, I mumbled something about birthday presents this year, winced as my left leg let the clutch out and died a little on my insides as we inched every so slowly across the intersection because my bad left knee conspired against my good right foot, like a metaphor for the people passing by my windscreen.
The smart-alec in the back of the car that day ended up getting birthday presents, although I purposely bought him 'bad' lego star wars instead of the 'good' lego star wars he had asked for (bad being the empire and good being the fag rebels). That ended up backfiring on me too because the BAD lego I had bought him had 'battle damaged' lego 'lord VADER' in it and because I was in a mood when I bought it having to hobble around on my knee I didn't notice I was buying limited edition stuff. bloody hell and fuck it.
My knee is pretty good now, I can take the stairs two at a time and there's only some slight discomfort, so I figure on Monday I'll try running again. I've spent the last month playing FIFA '09 on my kids 360, it's pretty good and finally gives ISS a run for it's money gameplay wise. It has this 'be a pro' mode which is cool because you can start as a nobody and spend experience points as you progress and become good, it's flawed only by the fact that be a pro mode only lasts for four seasons and then you have a world cup at the end.
The flaw lies in the fact that you exponentially 'grow' as a player over only a four year period (chuckle 'period'). So I randomly select a team - not like my I ONLY PLAY FOR MILAN son or apollo who would pick a 'real' team, okay not like my son, I start with inverness and can't even break into their first team - mind you we in the reserves were doing a SHITload better than they were. At seasons end I get a few offers - mainly gay ones from england and decide to go play for Adelaide in Australia because I'll get first team exposure and finally make the national team. A year later I get an offer from chealsea (gay - and only reserves) some scandanavian lot and everton. I go with everton and we win the league, along the way my player-character scores the winner in the derby and then for good measure we spank them in the return fixture 5-nil - and we fuck over chealsea 4-1 so I KNOW I made the right decision, get an offer from man u - vomit and quickly get picked up by barcelona but by now am so fucking good we're like the harlem fucking globe trotters and have won the league half way through, the only thing I have left to look forward to is the world cup at seasons end. except for one thing.
I have picked up an injury. a bad one. I have been injured every season I have played, except now it's recurring, and it's not just for the obligatory three FIFA '09 regulation weeks anymore. If you've ever played be a pro mode you will know that you just control your player and everyone else on your team is CPU controlled, so when I come back from my previous layoff and five minutes into a game watch forlornly as my team won't EVEN KICK THE FUCKING BALL OUT SO I CAN GET SOME FUCKING ASSISTANCE i have to wonder about my longterm national team aspirations, as i writhe in agony and the Nou Camp start calling me drogba...
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-06-03 04:02:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nearly a month ago I tore the ligaments from the inside of my left knee. I'm not sure how I did it I just woke up with it one morning and it hurt like fuck. I run everyday and had been surfing and my joints aren't as young as I suppose them to be...I guess, not when I look in the mirror and think you sexy beast you're so young, so I figure I did it one of those ways but don't remember. Still the pain was excrutiating so I was a little perplexed that I hadn't remembered doing it. The beginning of my drive slopes up kind of drastically and it's the last 'effort' at the tail-end of my run and I DO remember feeling a slight twinge one evening but that was a week or so before I woke with it so I don't really know...
I stayed off it for about a week as best I could, bought a brace from the local pharmacy and tried to take things easy. I have a flight of stairs though and during the course of a day I have to climb them a fair bit, it takes forever because you have to step on each step with both feet, not the usual one foot one step, but the railings help. Still it seemed to be getting better and for those of you who exercise you'll know that it becomes a routine and routines are kind of addictive, so about a week later I thought it's feeling pretty good I can run on it. I sprayed my knee with magic spray - not the REAL magic spray the deep heat stuff (when I was 18 or something a guy in our football (soccer) team had some magic spray sprayed on a knock and when we took him to the emergency ward after the game because he was complaining the doctor said how the fuck did you get here, and Scotty (who was a Scot) said I walked up the front steps and the doctor said that's impossible your ankle is broken and sometime after that magic spray got banned because it was too.....'magical'), but I sprayed my knee with the medically condoned science version, put on the brace and stretched. I got two blocks before I stopped. Two blocks of calling myself a dickhead but persisting, because naturally, I was an actual dickhead. I hobbled home and started to panic. I had heard of these bad knees that people spoke off and started to worry that I had fallen foul of at least one of them.
"No more running? Ever?? om-fucking-GOD. THIS is how people get fat..."
I went to my GP who referred me to a physio, the physio bent my leg this way and that, up, down, all the way into the next surgery, asking me if it hurt yet. It kind of hurt a little but not so much, I told him I am very careful to stretch before running but that my quads had become a little sore and he said well your quads basically own your leg, so maybe that was the initiation. I asked him if I could get down off his bed <insert gay reference> and winced on the little step down.
"That hurt 'eh?"
"a bit yes. But I can show you something? If I do this <forward lunge - insert another gay quote>, it hurts like fuck it hurts a lot more than anything you did when I was on your bed <sigh>."
"Like your knee will collapse under your weight?"
"Yes. please help me up I hope that's your stethoscope
I'm feeling."
"Right. You need to stay off it."
"what, should I just magically tread AIR or should I just walk on my elbows."
"Did you come here for help or to just be an idiot."
:(
"Do you have stairs at home?"
"define stairs."
"like a staircase - a flight of stairs."
"yes. They allow me to traverse my bedroom-toilet-kitchen continuim. Do YOU have sta.."
"Shut up. Right. Stay off them as best you can. The LAST thing you should try and do is run on it, only a complete DICKHEAD would try and run on this, if only for two blocks. If you need to go up them get your wife or girlfriend to get whatever you need."
".............."
"......it's important you keep off them."
"okay..."
"I wouldn't say you NEED crutches but some will be made available if you want them. The important thing is to exercise your knee without overdoing it. I will give you some basic exercises to do, mainly lifting your leg against downward pressure, against a weight which is difficult - it's difficult to balance a weight on your foot I can give you a weighted ankle and foot brace if you like or you can just get your wife or girlfriend to push against it as you lift. You have a wife or girlfriend, right?"
"s-s-sure......have I got one of THOSE *CRIKEY* <makes massive boob gesture> man, who needs a brace or weight with TH0SE HEY? HEY?????! She could just rest THOSE BABIES ON MY FOO..."
"okay mr ranger I get the picture."
"will I get better? Because if I can't ever run again I'll become hideous - like sage, and unable to maintain my early-forties dreaminess, even though she didn't manage it even during her twenties.."
"Give it a month and you'll be fine. Besides, you've got your really hot wife or girlfriend who alREADY loves you very much, forGET about how you'll look."
".......okay."
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2009-06-03 04:01:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Peter, I have written you a long-winded and absorbing story, bart won't let me submit it because it's too loooooooooong or awesome, I'm not sure so I will try to....'condense' it for you or break it up, you sugar muffin.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-06-03 02:22:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
needed a funny file name really PC
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-06-03 02:21:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is shit, but have a residual +2 for this guy:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121700
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2009-06-03 02:03:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was relative weak sauce, but ashamedly I did find the X and Y axis labels to be funny.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-06-03 01:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Nope.
Sorry. Although you jerkin' off in front of your mom?
That would totally make the cut.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-06-03 01:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You forgot a couple steps:
Step 7: Come up with an online name like "Phallic_Cymbals"
Step 8: Act like a douchebag
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-06-03 01:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-06-03 00:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I bet when you constructed this pile of shit you thought it was super funny, huh?
How delightfully ironic.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-06-03 01:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You mean it's not gonna make it into "Uber the Magazine" or any of your other million dollar ideas, you fucking genius?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-06-03 00:53:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I bet when you constructed this pile of shit you thought it was super funny, huh?
How delightfully ironic.