Our Mother, Who Art In Heaven... (586 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Flash Harry (View user info) at 2009-05-21 06:53:50 EDT
There was good news and there was bad news.
The results were back, and the cancer hadn't spread. It was isolated. They could treat it, and had every confidence to believe that they would succeed. She would have a minor operation to remove the tumour, then a few sessions of radiotherapy to destroy any remaining traces of the poisoned tissue. And then, fingers crossed, she would go into remission, free to live the rest of her life.
However. The cancer would most definitely spread into dangerous areas if they didn't act swiftly. Time was of the essence. A decision was needed soon; immediately, if possible. They could book her surgery for sometime in the next forty-eight hours. Every breath she took was crucial, and for every minute that she delayed her body would continue to self-destruct.
She looked down sadly at the bump of her stomach. Her unborn child, the doctor said, would be doubtful to survive the operation, and certainly not the radiotherapy. The wondrous baby that they'd longed for, fought for, and prayed for these past four years. They'd practically given up hope! And when she fell pregnant there didn't seem to be any other plausible explanation: this child was an answered prayer. A gift from God.
And if she waited until the child was born before tackling the cancer? It would be too late.
How long would they have, as a family, with their child? Months, maybe. Weeks, probably.
What was the likelihood of her falling pregnant again, after the treatment? Nil.
There were a million parameters, but they all boiled down to one vile choice: treat the cancer and lose the baby, or let him bring their child up without her.
Her fingers could just about feel the lump beneath her pale skin. It was easy to imagine it growing with each gentle pulse, reaching out inside her body with its silent, cruel claws. Trying to spread itself as wide as possible, and shutting her down piece by foul piece.
And then her hands cupped the precious bump beneath her bosom. It was warm and delicate, shifting slowly and heavily as the parcel blossomed peacefully. The innocence and love that it seemed to infect her with were almost enough for her to decide.
She ought to talk to him about it, and indeed with her parents, but this seemed almost too personal a decision to involve others in. It was her own body that was failing this time, not another person trying to sabotage her happiness. She'd always understood that there were bad people in the world who might try to ruin her, and she tried to pity them for their bitterness, forgive them and move on.
But, what can you do when your own body is battling against you?
She lay down gently on her side and finally, and for the first time, she wept. She wept for everything she would never see: her baby's first steps, first words, and first day at school. She wept for the pain this would cause him, to do everything they'd planned together on his own. She wept for her child, who would spend a lifetime wondering what its mother was like. What drove its mother to this terrible decision? And she wept for herself. For the bittersweet holiday that she would spend with her baby, that could never, ever last long as long as she'd like.
She phoned the doctor, and told him that somebody else could take the slot he'd kept open for her.
User Reviews
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-22 04:04:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by viciousness63 (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I looooooooooved this. You wrote a woman's perspective expertly. I find it hard sometimes to write from the male point of view, so props to you.
~~~~~
Thanks! I've been experimenting with cross-gender narrative.
Submitted by bustedcompass (user info) at 2009-05-22 02:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SmalltownSally (user info) at 2009-05-22 01:27:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Without offense, I dislike the term "fell pregnant." It makes me think of falling ill, or something that happens totally by accident with no knowledge. "I just fell pregnant, and I have no idea how it happened!"
+1 not because it actually made me smile or anything (duh)but because I just couldn't get past the phraseology enough to dump out a 2.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by viciousness63 (user info) at 2009-05-21 16:06:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I looooooooooved this. You wrote a woman's perspective expertly. I find it hard sometimes to write from the male point of view, so props to you.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-05-21 13:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-21 13:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BELL, YOU FUCKER!
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-21 13:28:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-21 12:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you know what, porn does get boring
-=============================
BLASPHEMER!!!!
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-05-21 13:27:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My old friend Storyteller had this very same situation to face. She waited till her babe was born, had the surgery and treatments and she and the child are both doing well ten years later...
The way you ended your story was interesing and left the reader to decide the outcome in their own mind.
My mind decided that your story would have a happy ending...
The very best writers often are able to pull this off. {leaving an ending that leaves the reader to decide the ending}
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-21 12:58:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you know what, porn does get boring
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-21 12:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-21 12:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, I hoped you wouldn't see it.
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Unlikely as I have probably less of a life than anyone on this site.
Still, it reminded me of when I had the chat with my doctor about how children would probably never be a possibility for me.
I still liked it, though, depression inducing as it was.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-21 12:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry, I hoped you wouldn't see it.
Submitted by Squirrelly_Girl (user info) at 2009-05-21 12:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy crap you made me cry.
Why would you go and do that?
Submitted by osmosianist (user info) at 2009-05-21 11:10:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This "life or baby" scenario has been done at least three times on House, by the way. Sorry, but it was not very original.
Submitted by osmosianist (user info) at 2009-05-21 11:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I didn't care for this story.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-05-21 11:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well now I'm depressed thanks so much.
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is like one of those ethics dilemmas. I think her decision is selfish, though. She's putting herself ahead of her baby and her husband: she'd rather consign her baby to a motherless childhood and her husband to raising the little brat by himself rather than bearing the sorrow of going childless herself. Or maybe it's just her irrational maternal instinct kicking in.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I am sure, since FJ knows me, he knows why I don't like this.
really, I am entitled to an opinion and my ratings are my business
:P
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:25:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh well if criticism is welcome- You're an idiot and you smell. :)
On a side note the word criticism always looks like it is spelt wrongly.
Submitted by phuchuebuddy (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Teared up
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Only read this part:
"There was good news and there was bad news."
newsFlashHarry, you aren't Charles Dickens. Please never start a story like that again, it's like "It was a dark and stormy cytokine night when the Ebola killed the sub-Saharan African."
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:08:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you can have radiotherapy, not chemo.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is okay tuts, I don't mind. Although criticism is welcome, I mainly write for myself :o)
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-05-21 10:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-21 20:51:14 WST (#)
Ranking: 0
no
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That is putting things bluntly.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:51:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ignoring the technical parts concerning the cancer you have to admit it is a good basis for a story though- die or live on through your child. Don't you feelia?
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know, a good friend of mine's mother died in this way so I know the basic story of what happened but not the details. Guess I was exercising a little creative license over the ins and outs of it.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Also they put a special sheet over the baby so you can have radiotherapy whilst pregnant.
It is chemo you can't have
but unless the cancer is right next to the baby radiotherapy poses little risk at the early and last stages of gestation
unless the baby is the cancer??
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:44:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*sniffle*
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oooh such controvesy FJ
I just do not like it
Submitted by HeyJude (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Orphy you just gave FJ a one?
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:13:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-05-21 07:15:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-05-21 07:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*avoids making 'have the radiotherapy and have mutant X-man baby' joke*
Submitted by spuj (user info) at 2009-05-21 07:01:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
there needs to be a rating of higher than +2 just for shit like this.
brilliant writing. an excellent piece, very moving.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-05-21 07:01:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was very well written, my mum is a nurse and she always tells me that cancer and being pregnant have almost the same symptoms and both require your body to not kill cells that really arn't supposed to grow there. The only difference being that one takes your life, looks and changes your personality forever and the other kills you.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-21 06:57:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment