True: Colors (green) (427 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.23 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JS3 (View user info) at 2009-05-18 19:03:32 EDT
(green)
"It's a mystery alright, but this is where it happened," briefed the officer to Detective Minor. Minor had been tasked with investigating all suspicious activity taking place in the upper west side of the city. Usually this quiet part of town was a welcomed change for a veteran to the investigative field of justice. The calm of the cloudy March day matched Minor's persona. He didn't blink an eye or furrow his brow as he methodically walked through the crime scene with the rookie officer.
"This is where the body was found? This close to the river? It doesn't make sense, none at all. Amateurs even know to throw the body in the water. Gotta be something else, doesn't look like a murder. Doesn't mean it's not."
To read the ENTIRE chapter, click the link below. Thanks for the support:
http://truecolorsstory.wordpress.com/2009/05/18/green
User Reviews
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-05-21 17:59:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
@HurtByTheSun:
Thanks for the critcism, glad you read it. Also, the reason I am linking to somewhere is because I need a place I can make edits later for selling purposes (yes sadly this story can be sold to some other idiots, definitely not you guys on here *wink wink*). I know, "omg we gotta click a link" is like a sin for some reason on here and pH, but hell if you want to read the story you'll read it, and if not, that's fine, I don't mind either way and just hope that if you do read it that you enjoy it.
Also, the myspace thing, while it's not your cup of tea (trust me, i can see why you might think its dumb), it's the easiest way for me to get pix to my family in other states and shit. Plus, when stalking women on myspace, they see cute baby pics, it's easier to seduce them (if you saw my picture you realize i have very little going for myself as it is, haha).
Anyway, valid comment tho, and you actually replied so no qualms with you.
@monkeys:
Hope you get around to reading it, that way the feces may be properly flung, but thanks for making this post less negative, haha.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-05-21 08:45:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a gay cat, and I shot an opossum last night because it was trying to hump him. Also, I didn't read this.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-05-20 13:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Constructive criticism:
I like the story, it's well constructed, decently paced and an enjoyable read.
The reason for my rating, and others, is that if you want criticism of a story on this site, then post the fucking thing on this site, not somewhere else. Linking it through is a pain in the arse.
Most people won't click through so what's the fucking point?
I stand by my comment about that idiotic MySpace though.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-05-20 13:36:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oops forgot to -2...
BECAUSE IT TOTALLY MATTERS.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-05-20 13:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
@Maddog: hmmm maybe once the marketing push goes in full effect, and if you want it to wear (And not catch your jizz in or to take shits on), I'm sure I can work something out.
@mystiamoon: Nah, I write here, I know all these fuckers are just fuckers for fuck's sake, but I also write on another site that's a little better (PULSEHEAD BITCHES) but still you can get fuck heads there, i don't care (And is "fuck heads" one word?)
@HBTS: Yeah that's for my family to keep up with pictures of my son, it's easier than emailing the huge ass pictures to everyone all the time, and also allows me to post video and stuff.
I know you don't care, but I thought I'd address your concern. ;)
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-05-20 12:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Also, this is heart warming:
http://www.myspace.com/superbabyjessemario
Gaylord.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-05-20 12:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nouvelle Fague.
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-19 14:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll read it .
Good on you for having the patience to do a long staory.
I have many in my head but i'm far too lazy and just not into writing enough to spend the hours typing it all out.
that's why i don't try to write here.
all of my stories are very long and complex.
My mind just doesnt have ideas in short story format.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2009-05-19 14:03:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-18 22:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm warmin' up to your promotional efforts.
Keep doin' what yer doin'.
__________________________________________________________________
I would like a free T-shirt, please.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-05-19 13:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
@Rod Berg: Well I'm glad I am at least "tolerable" now, haha...
@RoadSong: Hm, perhaps this way is better. Oh and for other reasons, like not being able to edit these down, is the main reason I am not linking to a site I can't edit down later. Hope you read it and leave me some good criticism there.
@Doodles: Actually, been on this site since 2004, and I actually WRITE good shit. Go read it, and if you disagree, comment me there and let me know, thanks.
@Genko: I think you guys secretly love Dan. heh.
@orphelia : Is that good or bad?
@F.J.Bell: You don't. Thanks for the comment.
@E.I.: Didn't you love my previous story? I am just gonna have to send you the whole bazinga once it's complete, ain't i? That's okay, I figured as much.
@scourge: fire zee missiles.
------------
*phew* that was a lot of replies. Glad a few were worthy of the time.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-05-19 13:20:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
le sigh
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-05-19 04:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-05-19 04:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't see why I should have to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-05-19 03:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You DON'T Deserve this +2, young man, but your singing made me weep
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2009-05-18 23:44:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here, it's the same as the ones I give Dan.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-05-18 23:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh, did dan tangle and that one faggot bipolar chain smoking retard have a baby?
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-05-18 22:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hmmmm....
Perhaps I visit this linkee. I did not visit the other linkee you mentioned because of General Principle. He forbade me to do so.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-18 22:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm warmin' up to your promotional efforts.
Keep doin' what yer doin'.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-05-18 22:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
haha I love that last comment. At least I know you clicked the link ;)
Oh and
"Rob Berg"
It's alright, glad for your honesty, and if you have an email I will be glad to send you a full copy of the story once it's finished.
let me know.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-05-18 21:37:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Jesus Salazar III is an aspiring writer that spends his days thinking of unique and breath-taking ways to express his most-inner thoughts. He cites his number one inspiration as being his son, whom he loves dearly..."
HOLY DOUCHEBAG OVERLOAD
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-05-18 19:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
uh... yeah. I won't be going there.
I just find your marketing obnoxious.
I'm sure the story is well worth all the effort I will never put into reading it. Good luck n' stuff.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-05-18 19:05:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"WTF WORDPRESS IM NOT GOING THERE LOLOLOLO LOSER"
I just hope anyone that was actually interested in this story won't mind my decision to post this on its own website (which once i have some more money will have an actual domain). Anyone that goes there and reads it, I hope you enjoy. Any comments can be posted there (constructive ones welcomed, shitty ones may be posted here as it's the normal for most users here)
-JS3