Masturbating @ Work (1665 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.2 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steven XXXX<bombtek187.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2009-04-29 17:48:46 EDT
I was just wondering what your opinions/views on this was. I am personally of the belief that choking the bishop at work not only increases productivity, but also raises morale of all employees. I was contemplating putting in a "Great Idea" to my company to sponsor this form of jobsite amusement.
Perhaps Masturbation Stalls equipped with lube and porn?
Increased Privacy for Cubicles?
Any of your input would be greatly appreciated as my proposal is still in its infancy, and I would like it to appear as polished as possible when I submit it to the Regional UW Manager. Thanks.
P.S. I also need an estimated annual cost vs. benefits of accomplishing this.
User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-06-06 17:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You suck. Your mama sucks. Your daddy swallows. Get over yourself.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-05-05 14:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA!
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2009-05-05 14:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-05-05 14:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Posts about masturbation are not acceptable content on Ubersite.
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well...i....umm...
Shit I'm on the wrong site then.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-05-05 14:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Posts about masturbation are not acceptable content on Ubersite.
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Haha, Yeah Right.. Acceptable Content. I just read a post about someone dropping a turd on their balls. pff.
Submitted by dantangel (user info) at 2009-05-04 15:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enjoy yourself
Beat him like he stole something
ftw
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-30 22:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-04-30 20:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Posts about masturbation are not acceptable content on Ubersite.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-04-30 19:13:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't read your post, but in reference to the title: Done it!
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-04-30 17:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2009-04-30 11:46:12 CDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I do this already.
I fashioned together a couple of leather gloves into a verticle slit (vagina) into the bottom of my desk. I lube it every morning with a jar of ear wax I've collected from my dog. When nobody's looking I slip it in and fuck my desk.
My productivity has gone way down... sorry.
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*Bows*
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2009-04-30 12:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I do this already.
I fashioned together a couple of leather gloves into a verticle slit (vagina) into the bottom of my desk. I lube it every morning with a jar of ear wax I've collected from my dog. When nobody's looking I slip it in and fuck my desk.
My productivity has gone way down... sorry.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-04-30 10:25:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-04-30 09:16:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah and while they are they maybe they should provide prostitutes and beer.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2009-04-30 08:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
UW as in University of Wisconsin?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-30 08:18:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100515
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-04-30 07:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I vote yes.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-04-30 06:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-04-29 23:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-04-29 22:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There was a time I could get away with such things. Now I can't even read ubersite at work.
Holy shit! What an amazing turn of events! It's so interesting you should mention it in every review!
===
Where are all these reviews you speak of? Besides my own post, you've barely read a review from me in the past week and a half, which is how long I've been back to work. So if you're going to keep track, please try harder!
Submitted by JonOfMBI (user info) at 2009-04-30 02:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Although i'm not really sure about increased productivity, masterbating makes me tired, Your cost would be rather low. Increasing the privacy of the bathroom stalls would seem like the best idea. This can easily be carried out by extending the divider wall from floor to cieling. Add in the cost of lube which you can put in a hand sterilizer dispenser and thats pretty much your cost. You don't have to worry about tissues because you can just use the damn toilet paper. Oh! Make sure everyone cleans up after themselves too....
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-04-29 23:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-04-29 22:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There was a time I could get away with such things. Now I can't even read ubersite at work.
Holy shit! What an amazing turn of events! It's so interesting you should mention it in every review!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-04-29 22:53:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There was a time I could get away with such things. Now I can't even read ubersite at work.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-29 22:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
heh
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-04-29 19:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm all for it.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-04-29 18:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He was talking to me. JoeyG = jg.
Quite simple really. Go away, and come back later when you've learnt teh internetz 4 realz.
==========
My apologies, kind sir. My ignorance radiates like a fat, white lady at a public swimming pool.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-04-29 18:04:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-04-29 22:55:44 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 16:50:45 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus wept.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 16:51:48 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you idiot...
v
v
v
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 16:52:21 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha. No offense, jg.
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Who the fuck are you talking to?
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He was talking to me. JoeyG = jg.
Quite simple really. Go away, and come back later when you've learnt teh internetz 4 realz.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:57:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was an excellent post.
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 16:50:45 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus wept.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 16:51:48 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you idiot...
v
v
v
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 16:52:21 CDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha. No offense, jg.
==================================
Who the fuck are you talking to?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 22:52:21 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha. No offense, jg.
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none taken.
server time lapse 4tw
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Idiot? 4 Y>??
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha. No offense, jg.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you idiot...
v
v
v
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:51:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah, people choke the chain at work.
ya could'a put some effort into speaking about it though.
Submitted by BadCompany (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:50:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This has already been done. Somewhere, I can't remember the country, a company needed to make more money so they had all of their male employees donate sperm during lunch.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-29 17:50:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
jesus wept.