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Today's Headlines (1199 hits)

Category: News

Rating: 0.95 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Jack_McCallum (View user info) at 2009-04-23 17:42:48 EDT



'Craigslist Killer' finds lawyer on Kijiji

Confused John Kerry forms Senate Committee to consider military action against The Pirate Bay

Freddie Mac Executive suicide not linked to market downturn. "He was just a loser" says inside source

Apple removes "Slap That Bitch Around" App after protests

Poll; 4 out of 5 American teenagers think waterboarding sounds "cool"

FDA to approve night-before pill; "It stops you from doing anything really stupid, Merck spokesman says

Miss USA first runner-up Carrie Prejean thanks God she was not asked about "wetbacks, niggers, chinks or retards"

Increasing frequency of Spontaneous Testicular Disintegration a growing concern for Surgeon General.

Dead Florida polo horses accidentally ingested Flintstones Gummies Vitamins; FDA scrambles to find ketamine shipped to elementary schools in upstate New York

African American activist questions Obama's choice of Blackberry over iPhone or Android wireless device; "Self-stereotyping is now endemic"

American public's capacity for eating shit appears boundless, say scientists


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User Reviews


Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-24 18:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

'American public's capacity for eating shit appears boundless, say scientists'

Agreed.


Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2009-04-24 16:08:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

meh

Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-04-24 14:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

i'm doing this again, and you're not:

http://www.miramarevents.com/dreammachines/aircraftrides.html

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-24 12:14:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I sneered. I don't know what sneer means :(

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-04-24 12:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

God, I fuckin love the Onion.

Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-24 11:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Onion highlights on my iGoogle:

[audio] Hypothermic Stripper Nearly Dies Inside Ice-Cream Cake

In Focus: Bankrupt Motivational Speaker Adds Word 'Failure' To His Vocabulary

Opinion: Well, There Goes Our Dream Vacation To Somalia

Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-24 11:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-24 10:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LOLOL it's like The Onion only meh!

Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-04-24 10:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Stolen from the Onion or original? Either way, quite funny.

Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-24 10:36:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2


Kindergardeners in a K-Hole!

Eddie Izzard FTW!!!




Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-24 10:10:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LOLOL it's like The Onion only meh!

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-04-24 10:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I was in tears the first time I saw Dressed To Kill. What made it even funnier was I was watching it with someone who had no idea what he was talking about and was rather confused as to why I was laughing so hard.

"I don't get it."



Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 10:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

he was hilarious, bit up his own arse and commercial since he got his own sitcom.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Eddie Izzard is hilarious. At least to me he is.

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

http://wondermark.com/guest-randall/ is particularly disturbing today. Disturbing in that I got it. Disturbing in that the text "Today's strip comes to us courtesy of Randall Munroe. If you don't know who he is you are probably not on the internet for double-digit hours every day. Good for you!" follows the strip and it doesn't apply to me because I know who he is.

I think maybe I'll turn off the computer and go outside and play.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Sgt you were the one who got all prissy on me in the first place, i merely said this is where the humour levels differ. not a controversial statement at all. you then got all sarcastic on me, defending your comedies (which i wasn't attacking) and proceeding to lay into a couple of our comedies.

and

fg

That's coz we're never sure if you're insulting us or not.

:D
------------

i didnt insult anyone! see my first statement, just said senses of humour differ on certain things.

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-24 13:41:50 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i think this is where the humour levels between americans and english fall down
=====================
yeah god knows we can't compete with AbFab reruns and that fucknut Russel Brand
---------------------
Saw him live 2 weeks ago and he was on about the MTV awards he held. irony/sarcasm is never well received huh
====================
What FG said EI, dont be such a priss. Im not saying he doesnt have funny moments but most of his stuff just doesnt appeal to my sense of humor. Or humoUr as it were. I like alot of brit comdedy though, remain calm.

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:43:07 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i know it can, i wasnt saying that FG. just saying differing senses of humours either side of the pond. you lot are so defensive.

=====

That's coz we're never sure if you're insulting us or not.

:D

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-04-24 13:42:48 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 07:31:56 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i think this is where the humour levels between americans and english fall down

====

You can sneer all you want but Brit humoUr can be strange and inexplicable to us.
entered my first year of grad school. I only knew him for 2 semesters (plus some summer work) but
I need to write a post about Nigel, a Brit I went to school with. He was finishing up when I he left an impression. White British guy with dredlocks and a libido that was nuclear powered.

Impossible for anyone to be that horney all the freakin' time. Something was wrong with him
---------
i know it can, i wasnt saying that FG. just saying differing senses of humours either side of the pond. you lot are so defensive.

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-24 13:41:50 BST (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i think this is where the humour levels between americans and english fall down
=====================
yeah god knows we can't compete with AbFab reruns and that fucknut Russel Brand
---------------------
Saw him live 2 weeks ago and he was on about the MTV awards he held. irony/sarcasm is never well received huh

Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-04-24 09:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:42:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 07:31:56 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i think this is where the humour levels between americans and english fall down

====

You can sneer all you want but Brit humoUr can be strange and inexplicable to us.

I need to write a post about Nigel, a Brit I went to school with. He was finishing up when I entered my first year of grad school. I only knew him for 2 semesters (plus some summer work) but he left an impression. White British guy with dredlocks and a libido that was nuclear powered.

Impossible for anyone to be that horney all the freakin' time. Something was wrong with him.



Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:41:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i think this is where the humour levels between americans and english fall down
=====================
yeah god knows we can't compete with AbFab reruns and that fucknut Russel Brand

Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

i think this is where the humour levels between americans and english fall down

Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-24 08:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

laugh laugh laugh

Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2009-04-24 07:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

FDA to approve night-before pill; "It stops you from doing anything really stupid, Merck spokesman says

------

This is why we need universal health care...everyone should take 2 a day of these.

Submitted by Littlebint (user info) at 2009-04-24 04:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Well that made me laugh a wee bit

Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-23 21:43:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LOLOL it's like The Onion only meh!

--

haha
-----
We'll call it The Radish

Submitted by captainrads (user info) at 2009-04-23 19:41:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Wasn't there a "Shake the baby" app too?

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-04-23 19:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I LOL-ed, silently at some of these.

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-23 18:40:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Spontaneous Testicular Disintegration
============
That's the acute form. The chronic form is called old age.


Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:56:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

That shaking baby app is the funniest thing I've ever heard. I'm deaf but you get the point.

Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LOLOL it's like The Onion only meh!

--

haha

Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2009-04-23 17:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

LOLOL it's like The Onion only meh!


Marge: I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the Bible
say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you
do unto me...?"

Homer: Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say, "Thou shalt not take
moochers into thy hut?"

The Otto Show