Letter of Marque (695 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.42 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Indoninja (View user info) at 2009-04-15 08:22:48 EDT
A letter of marque is an official document giving the bearer permission under the flag of said govt to search, seize and destropy other ships.
Privateers, as the holders of these letters were sometimes known, were often used to attack merchants sailing under an opposing countries flag. They were also used to fight pirates.
Anyone know where I can buy one? I have a brilliant idea and all I need is a letter of marque. I know in the US they are like declaring war in that they have to be approved by congress, and fat chance of those bunch of pussies signing off on some good old fashioned fighting fire with fire on the high seas, but what about other countries?
Seems to me with all this pirate noise going on it would be a great idea to bring these back into style.
I am sure outfitting a boat, paying mercenaries/sailors etc would get pretty pricey, but here is the brillian part of the idea, it will be a godamned reality TV show.
If people watched 18 fucking seasons of "real world" how would they not watch "Real Privateers." How will sinking pirate ships and getting shot at not get more ratings than the cunt from Big brother getting cancer? Granted shows like the Bachelor would have hot slutty chicks, but how are they going to compete with pirate wenches?
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2009-04-21 11:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
saw on the news (by which I mean the Daily Show/Colbert Report) last night that Ron Paul is endorsing the Letter of Marque idea...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2009-04-20 16:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
who knew Spike Lee stole his ideas from UBER of all places!?!?!?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-04-19 20:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103071893
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2009-04-17 04:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WRONG!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/121740
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-04-16 20:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the thing is though, there appears to be a lot more to the situation with these somali pirates than some conveniently faceless movie-style 'badguys' for the US navy to blow the fuck out of with weapons that are, at last estimate, about 500,000,000,000,000,000,000 more powerful than the 'badguys'; and then masturbate all over each other (even more than usual) about how hardcore they are, and how good a job theyre doing.
south-east-asian pirates, however, are real baddies.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-04-16 19:49:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i like it. i'd watch it.
you know what i don't get? why don't these ships just mount a couple Barrett M82s and Browning M2s? problem solved. how the fuck are pirates going to even get near you if you're packing heat like that? it seems pretty retarded that everyone is acting like they can't do shit about some fucking Somali pirates. i'll bet my ass that if you gave me a team of guys with weapons training and a big enough boat with a decent radar, i could take out these pirates without even trying hard. they're teenagers with AK-47s and grappling hooks in small boats.
srsly. wtf.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2009-04-16 14:15:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-04-16 13:03:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy Fuck...
I, I think this is the first time I've EVER agreed with you 100% on something.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-16 00:08:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-04-15 23:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
basically when im 55-ish and wealthy, im gonna buy an oceangoing yacht, crew it with nubile 22-year old chicks who can handle sailing, sail to africa, buy a SHITLOAD of guns, ammo and kevlar (or whatever) and then sail back to south east asia and cruise around the bahjillion islands there, partying, fucking my hot crew and best of all - hunting pirates.
***
btdt- looks a lot better from the shore or a magazine page
==============
joedaddy was 55 so fucking long ago he can't remember it...
:D
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-04-15 23:57:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
basically when im 55-ish and wealthy, im gonna buy an oceangoing yacht, crew it with nubile 22-year old chicks who can handle sailing, sail to africa, buy a SHITLOAD of guns, ammo and kevlar (or whatever) and then sail back to south east asia and cruise around the bahjillion islands there, partying, fucking my hot crew and best of all - hunting pirates.
***
btdt- looks a lot better from the shore or a magazine page
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2009-04-15 23:27:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YEAH, OPTION THAT SHOW TO THE FOX NETWORK FOR TALL CASH, MEIN LEIBCHEN
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2009-04-15 23:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i came up with my mid-life crisis plan about 3 or 4 years ago.
basically when im 55-ish and wealthy, im gonna buy an oceangoing yacht, crew it with nubile 22-year old chicks who can handle sailing, sail to africa, buy a SHITLOAD of guns, ammo and kevlar (or whatever) and then sail back to south east asia and cruise around the bahjillion islands there, partying, fucking my hot crew and best of all - hunting pirates.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2009-04-15 21:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would definitely watch this show. Modern pirates use rocket launchers and shit, so there will be some cool explosions to keep things jumping.
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-15 15:01:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
probably a good chance of governments farming out this kind of work to security contractors. No fixed rules of engagement. Shweet!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-04-15 14:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Epic idea.
I want to be part of the crew.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-04-15 14:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you take this idea to international waters, then I imagine that you would not need this letter.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-04-15 13:46:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eye patches for sale here, cheap.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2009-04-15 13:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd like to see the us navy and air force play nice for about a week and send a submarine, loaded with a shit-load of armed predators on pontoons, into the pirate area
within about two or three days, you could proably rename the area: The Flotsam Sea
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-04-15 12:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
aye aye, el capitan.
Submitted by BadSamaritan87 (user info) at 2009-04-15 12:31:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-04-15 11:56:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-04-15 11:31:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0409/21245.html
Ron Paul agrees...
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-04-15 10:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You hardly need a letter of marque to do this. Intn'l waters have no laws, save the UN's laws of the sea, which is the equivalent of a "Please, don't litter" sign in the interior of Alaska.
Besides this, the letter of marque would only be recognized by those countries which supported the issuing country's decree and intent, and I doubt that any country harboring pirates would be friendly to any country issuing a "get out of jail free" card to those who would raid and rob their own, in their territorial waters.
Better off to just become a flat out pirate, or a vigilante. Much easier, less hassle, same risks, and better rewards since you have no-one to answer to save yourself and any higher deities that be.
Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum,
dirty blonde woman, covered in cum,
now missing one eye, but it sure was fun,
so I say yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
Submitted by JonOfMBI (user info) at 2009-04-15 10:31:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Agreed.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-04-15 10:29:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that's realistic
--------------------------
You are right.
Maybe I should compliment the queen on her hair, then my letter of marque will be a lock.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-04-15 10:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're aiming too high.
Try getting a letter of marque from some piddly country like Luxemburg or Monaco. A letter of marque is a letter of marque. It doesn't matter where it's from.
Go for Monaco, the Grimaldi's have pirates as ancestors!!
I like this plan.
A lot.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-15 10:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
point well taken Caul, you the man.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-15 10:07:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
failing below.
marque isn't even a french name. it's a word (mark).
don't be bubba-unfunny pls.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Caul, just to be clear, this ISNT a story about a letter from your lover "marque"
kisses, frenchie.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that's realistic
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're aiming too high.
Try getting a letter of marque from some piddly country like Luxemburg or Monaco. A letter of marque is a letter of marque. It doesn't matter where it's from.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Give me a Dragunov SVD rifle and count me in!
(put me on the list under "badasses")
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indo, write to QEII.
She might give you one just for a laugh.
You could be The Queen's Privateer.
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Well according tot his I can't email her.
http://www.royal.gov.uk/Contactus/Contact%20a%20member%20of%20the%20Royal%20Family.aspx#1
However I can write.
I think something along the lines of ,
"Dear QEII,
I think we have an opportunity to help each other out. As you know the UK hasn't been exactly king of the sea for quite some time now. In fact last year Iran even grabbed some of your sailors. Now I can't get you back to your great days of glory, but I know a way to restore a little shine to UK seapower. You get me a letter of Marque and not only will put a boot up the ass of pirates, but I will also broadcast it all over the world*. This is a win-win situation not only for us, but for anyone shipping near Somolia, what do you say Queeny?
*anyone with basic cable int he US."
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen while acting, perhaps, Sgt., but cowtow I do not think. I was in the US Navy on the USS Enterprise (CVN-65) at that time and it was the Cold War. There was a LOT of flexing going on. We cruised around offshore with the planes pointed at major cities pretty often.
It's getting to the point that even reality TV cannot distract people anymore. That is a good thing.
=======================
thats what I mean, during the reagan era we didnt have to worry about pissing off the countries that we owed money too, we could tell them to get fucked. Now it seems that we are the "sharp end of the stick" for the world bank.
Time will tell I guess.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Believe France might sell you one... but truth to tell (other than the reality show and any rewards offered for recovered ships and rescued crew) there'd be no cash potential. These pirates do what they do because they're dirt poor.
Still surprised we haven't burned every squalid hut for 20 miles inland.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-15 09:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Listen while acting, perhaps, Sgt., but cowtow I do not think. I was in the US Navy on the USS Enterprise (CVN-65) at that time and it was the Cold War. There was a LOT of flexing going on. We cruised around offshore with the planes pointed at major cities pretty often.
It's getting to the point that even reality TV cannot distract people anymore. That is a good thing.
Submitted by Mr.Plecko (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
you fund it b y raping and pillaging
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:58:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Indo, write to QEII.
She might give you one just for a laugh.
You could be The Queen's Privateer.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you want a reality show?
call it "regime" and record the battles in africa for power.
--
For detailed coverage that would only work in a daily format. The regime changes over there are so fast and furious a weekly show would only have highlights.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:51:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...
Also, I kind of lost interest but what happened to that U.S. boat? I know it got ported somewhere in Africa (I think) but I know they still had the captain for ransom.
-----
MLWaI discussed this the other night. We agreed that if the US President were Ronald Reagan, the news story would have been that a US ship had been captured by pirates but Navy SEALS and the Marines had retrieved the ship and turned what was left of the pirates, the port, and the surrounding countryside over to the local authorities with a little note that read, "Don't do this again."
Times have changed for the worse. Have at us, World! We are nice! We turn the other cheek! We are fuckwithable! YIPPIE-CAI-YAY MOTHERFUCKER (if it's ok with everyone, of course, and I apologize if my language has caused you any discomfiture or offense)
================================
but skrap during the Reagan era we didnt have to cowtow (sp?) to the world fucking economy.
We aren't self sufficient like we used to be. We used to be able to tell the world to fuck off because we didnt need them, we have outsourced ourselves into being the worlds bitch. Shit at this point the steel that we get to build our army comes from fucking china. We are fucked.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Also, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th....who's going to fund such a project?
--------------
The same people who fund other dumb reality TV.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:47:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
...
Also, I kind of lost interest but what happened to that U.S. boat? I know it got ported somewhere in Africa (I think) but I know they still had the captain for ransom.
-----
MLWaI discussed this the other night. We agreed that if the US President were Ronald Reagan, the news story would have been that a US ship had been captured by pirates but Navy SEALS and the Marines had retrieved the ship and turned what was left of the pirates, the port, and the surrounding countryside over to the local authorities with a little note that read, "Don't do this again."
Times have changed for the worse. Have at us, World! We are nice! We turn the other cheek! We are fuckwithable! YIPPIE-CAI-YAY MOTHERFUCKER (if it's ok with everyone, of course, and I apologize if my language has caused you any discomfiture or offense)
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:41:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting concept, bad production. First of all, who's going to willingly get on a boat when they have the chance of getting killed and secondly this sounds like a spin off on whale wars. Granted, Whale Wars is pretty tame in comparison to your idea but basically the same gist. Thirdly, and most importantly, if a government does agree with this and it IS outside of the U.S. you probably won't get exclusive broadcast rights to be in English.
Also, I kind of lost interest but what happened to that U.S. boat? I know it got ported somewhere in Africa (I think) but I know they still had the captain for ransom.
-------------------
Idiots or badasses would get on a boat knowing they would be killed. Either one alone would make good TV, putting them together would make great TV.
Might have to check out whale wars.
If the letter of marque is from a non-english speaking country I could still "cast" and english speaking crew.
The US navy had snipers shoot three of the pirates still holding the captain. He is ok, and the 4th pirate had turned himself in prior tot he shooting to treat a knife wound.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Also, 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th....who's going to fund such a project?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you want a reality show?
call it "regime" and record the battles in africa for power.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-15 08:33:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Interesting concept, bad production. First of all, who's going to willingly get on a boat when they have the chance of getting killed and secondly this sounds like a spin off on whale wars. Granted, Whale Wars is pretty tame in comparison to your idea but basically the same gist. Thirdly, and most importantly, if a government does agree with this and it IS outside of the U.S. you probably won't get exclusive broadcast rights to be in English.
Also, I kind of lost interest but what happened to that U.S. boat? I know it got ported somewhere in Africa (I think) but I know they still had the captain for ransom.