By the time you read this... (758 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.23 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (View user info) at 2009-04-08 23:10:29 EDT
welcome to hitsville.mov (581 kB) [video/quicktime]
User Reviews
Submitted by reginajacks (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:50:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
?
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hits are overrated
Everything you ever wanted to know about Quint
User id: 19296
Registered on or around: 2005-05-28 18:32:48 EDT
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 1339
# Times these posts have been reviewed: 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:18:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever, have a good easter, you cat-herding wannabe rapist.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:15:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And so Jack started along the long road to Two Million Hits having to do very little, once he realized he was able to sit back and let his inane sidekicks do the heavy lifting.
The End
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are an ambitious one. That, or a pathetic, lonely dweeb.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-04-09 12:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
clearly you haven't picked up a hobby since your wife left you
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Holy shit, he had a wife? LOL
===
yeah apparently the poor woman got tired of picking up dirty flannel shirts and red hair everywhere. i also hear their sex life was inexistant cuz jack kept letting the cats into the bedroom and talking about his writing "career".
word is that she left him for an immigrant, which would explain his seething hatred for them.
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2009-04-09 14:57:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-04-09 12:19:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
clearly you haven't picked up a hobby since your wife left you
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Holy shit, he had a wife? LOL
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-09 12:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Right on.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
clearly you haven't picked up a hobby since your wife left you
Submitted by HellRazer (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:( couldn't see it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Blackberry (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, what a fucking loser you are
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Remind me again, how many alters have you created before this one?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Didn't look at it.
Submitted by Blackberry (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Wow, what a fucking loser you are
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2009-04-09 10:46:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hm. I was NOT expecting that.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-04-09 10:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
*Bart steps out from behind the curtain, grips the microphone tightly and with a broad sweep of his arm shouts*
"Tell him what he's won, Don!"
*A booming, sickly-sweet voice begins*
"Jack, you are going on a tropical retreat to beautiful Chicago, Illinois [audience (i.e., Bart's goldfish and hamsters) begins to applaud] where you will bathe in the adoration of AT LEAST two Uber users for a minimum of five minutes!!! But wait, Jack, THERE'S MORE! While you are there, you will enjoy the luxurious accomodations of Bart's basement and the spaghetti-Os him mom prepares for breakfast, lunch AND DINNER! Congratulations, Jack, you are today's big wiener!"
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-09 10:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-09 07:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The interesting thing is this, skrap-- the fiction takes time and doesn't get much in the way of hits. The 99% of the big hitmakers took an average of 5 mins (including this minimovie) and the trolls flocked to them. Welcome to the internet.
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I know, I know. If Uber was A Serious Hitgrabbing Forum®, there'd be nothing but Ha Ha Rabbit and boobs on this site. Mostly boobs. Lots and lots and lots of boobs, of every shape, size and description. Where was I? Oh, yeah. But it's A Serious Writer's Forum, and you have achieved your 0.001 Terahit goal. If it's hits you still want for some reason, I suppose you could post your Serious Writing a couple paragraphs at a time.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-09 09:19:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats Jack.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-09 08:30:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-09 08:14:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
bit too much fighting on this site at the mo, even though i find caul amusing.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-09 08:12:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
congrats jack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-09 07:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The interesting thing is this, skrap-- the fiction takes time and doesn't get much in the way of hits. The 99% of the big hitmakers took an average of 5 mins (including this minimovie) and the trolls flocked to them. Welcome to the internet.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-04-09 07:51:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So what happens when you get to one million hits? Do you get a small plaque from Bart? A congratulatory email perhaps? Penis grows another inch? Or maybe it's like when your car turns over 100,000 miles and you get out and do a little dance by the side of the road, except it'd be by the side of your computer. Or is it more of a personal milestone, something to reflect on as you sit by the fire, brandy in hand, and look at the conservatively yet elegantly framed and matted printed screenshot of that portion of your "My Uber" page that says "# Hits: 1000073"? No, it's not that, else there wouldn't be this post. Is it nothing? Smart money says it's nothing. But in this case, smart money is wrong. You get this:
Congratulations on garnering 1,000,000 hits, Jack.
Now, then: ceremony's over, back to work everybody. McFiction please.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-04-09 03:02:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YESYESYES
-2ING THIS POST FEELS SO GOOD
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-09 02:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
pusehead - > where failed ubers go to die
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-04-09 01:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
huh, thought "johnny.b.dumb" was an alter of some sort...
anyway, Jack, just leave this hellhole and come over to pH, where you will be bowed down to and have red carpet beneath your feet. And the carpet's not red because i'm on my period.
At least, not that part of the carpet.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2009-04-09 00:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You've turned into a real fucking loser, Champ
Stick to writing your boring stories so I don't bother clicking on your posts anymore.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-04-09 00:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Uvt83YWWWY
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-04-08 23:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't do links to links without more info re: why I should.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-04-08 23:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2009-04-08 23:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-08 23:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
....you'll have killed yourself? Is that too much to ask? foad, you talentless excuse for a dog turd.
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Everything you ever wanted to know about johnny.b.dumb
# Hits: 5078
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-08 23:12:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
....you'll have killed yourself? Is that too much to ask? foad, you talentless excuse for a dog turd.