In The Year of the Tiger (793 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.56 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by S.I. Co. (View user info) at 2009-04-08 13:02:18 EDT
It may be ironic that in the year of the tiger a person born in the year of the monkey with hair as ferocious as any tiger and just as brilliant will be reborn. This hair, this rapturous beauty is complimented with two perfectly placed dollops of chocolate ice cream for eyes, a brown resolute enough to crush boulders into pebbles.
A face this perfectly shaped would be a perfect silhouette if placed on any horizon, yet in the year of the tiger it will have reached full maturation. Ripened with soft skin smoother than the finest silks, a pair of lips screams at anyone lucky enough to be within eyeshot to come closer. And it's not here that the beautiful woman from the year of the monkey stops beckoning you. Oh no, not even close.
In the year of the tiger the woman from the year of the monkey exhibits all the current traits. A wise, almost prophetic oration pours from her mouth like a siren praising her lord through a hymnal. Anyone within earshot is drawn like a blank paper being filled with scratches and scribbles. And it is there, that if possible to make it past the aura surrounding the head, a person will see the awe inspiring beauty that shapes the woman from the year of the monkey.
During this year of the tiger people will be lined up waiting to snatch a perfect reflection of innocence and knowledge. The curves that shape her shoulders are more perfect than any radii or pi mathematics can explain an arc from a circle. Only the delicate freckles sporadically placed can truly gleam the knowledge that defines pi to the nth degree. And it certainly refuses to stop there.
Shadowing two stalwart clavicles hang two orbs more perfect than Michelangelo's Pieta or Leonardo's Mona Lisa. No, art can't even convey the beauty that this woman born in the year of the monkey displays in the year of the tiger. Abdominal muscles sturdy enough to use as a buffet table, but not too muscular give the perfect platform for a decorated body. Legs reach from the trunk in a methodical precision, each angle a perfectly emitted shape to leave the eye of the beholder smitten. A derrière more plump and delicious than a stuffed turkey makes a great accoutrement to the legs and to study. In fact, the entire backside from head to toe looks like a plaster mold was busted while being created. This is the power of the woman born in the year of the monkey who has come to me now in the year of the tiger. Yet, and still, it doesn't stop there.
The mind of the woman born in the year of the monkey has become tops in affluent intelligence. My, how the woman can crush diamonds with her knowledge, balance a tack on a razor blade with her sharpness, and even beat an elephant in a game of memory is far too much for the ordinary mind to comprehend!
Altruistic to the core, she puts everyone in front of the next making sure not to leave a soul untouched. The amount of kindness bestowed by the woman born in the year of the monkey will never come to an end but in the year of the tiger one person will feel the wrath of everlasting love. In the year of the tiger I hope to be chosen. I'm confident that it is me who is to be chosen. As it has been said, there are others all lined up; it is me that was handed the baton, however. It is me that was given the okay.
The woman, for all her glory, beauty, and mindful intelligence was born but with one flaw. Tragically, she can't help herself from loving. Loving so much so that only one person is destined to love her back as much, and that is where I come in.
In the journey looking forward the roads I will cross will be steep and littered with dangers far too grave to be left alone. I will have to travel with extreme caution, looking both ways before I cross, avoiding wrong turns that cause me to back track, meeting the right people, avoiding the wrong ones, and hurdling all obstacles. One obstacle is for sure. Time is my obstacle and time is my torch, the torch burning as bright as the hair of the woman born in the year of the monkey; hair the color of the woman coming to me in the year of tiger.
User Reviews
Submitted by 8bithero (user info) at 2009-04-20 12:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-04-13 10:09:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And you wouldn't have teh herpes if you didn't suck so much dick at the food court.
What's your point?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2009-04-13 09:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
GO STEELERS!!111
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yes, I get it. Ape/Orangutan/Primate etc. Well, when I googled "tiger monkey" that's what came up.
AND NOT EVEN YOU CAN ARGUE WITH GOOGLE!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:21:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The orangutans are a species of great apes.
I think that may have been TTOM's point.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Orangutan if I had to guess.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:14:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What species of monkey is it Sico?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
TTOM, get your glasses fixed. It's right there hugging the tiger....duh!
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2009-04-09 16:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see no monkey
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-04-09 11:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm just going to assume that this was influenced by the long arm of battle orangutan.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-09 09:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Icarus, if you weren't a hack troll who logs on to rate a sico post you might have a better function in life than to be my door mat.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-04-09 09:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This isn't -2 worthy, far from it. -2 just because you are who you are.
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Did you not read this?
Are you blind, or mildly retarded?
This was shit.
Someone who consistently posts shit is a shit writer.
As such thew will recieve shit reviews.
Ergo, yes, he is being rated for who he is as a human being.
Shit=shit.
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2009-04-08 22:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like strange and orangutans. In Indonesian orangutan means man of the forest, so not actually a lady.
I'm a rat.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-04-08 19:35:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
someone take the computer off THIS monkey.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-04-08 19:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:54:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Passover!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjIFc6YjyE8
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a dog. We're the best.
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SAGE!
what are you thinking writing this?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:32:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is the accent on weird or on freak or neither or both?
*********************
I'd put the accent on weird. And if you were German, you'd just be "veird".
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GENUINE LOL @ BELOW...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
I'm a dog. We're the best.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Year of The Cock!
Right here ladies. Oh yeah! Thats right.
YOTC
**adjusts fly and strikes an aloof pose while waiting for the chikas to come on over**
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More like the chemistry between the two.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is the accent on weird or on freak or neither or both?
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a weird freak.
</>
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-04-08 16:10:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:55:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goddamn cute animals. didn't read it, purely rating the pic.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
True, Toddler. For those that rated based on the post and not the poster, I'd agree. However, some people like Redskies and Icarus (even though I love them both) will ALWAYS rate Sico -2 no matter what.
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Until Sico isn't a dick, he's always a don't bother.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The Year of the zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I disagree. Ratings may mean something to the site but to some users, like me, they don't mean anything. I know what to expect when I post things under this account.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:09:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha! I ranted and didn't rate.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
True, Toddler. For those that rated based on the post and not the poster, I'd agree. However, some people like Redskies and Icarus (even though I love them both) will ALWAYS rate Sico -2 no matter what.
And everyone needs to stop with the "b...b...but ratings dont MEAN anything!!!" FUCK THAT NOTION. Yes they fucking do. If they didn't mean shit, Bart would take them the FUCK off ubersite.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:06:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lady, there's no "appropriate" rating; s'all subjective.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 15:03:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you people really that fucking narrow that you can't appropriately rate someone's work?
Really?
I guess you were right, Sico. I thought the people on here were a bit less...well, I can't think of an appropriate word, really. Less PETTY, maybe.
This was really well-written. Very descriptive.
Submitted by Toddler (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't care; this was boring as fuck.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:29:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of my friends used to say it all the time and I found it hilarious.
Just thought I'd share it.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You fat baby dick.
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They have a word for this... redundant or something like that. But yes, yes I am.
Submitted by SkullBiter (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You fat baby dick.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:25:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely picture.
Submitted by HeyJude (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:11:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i am not you, don't say that again you piece of rotting donkey cock cheese. that has AIDS (the gay one)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2009-04-08 14:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z192/xTeeHeeX/314ez60.gif
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
didnt read this, because it looks boring and probably is, so i was all ready to -2 this until...........
i saw the monkey
damn you and your sneaky tactics
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:48:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh, that checkers...
mum said I wasn't allowed to play anymore....
you know why....
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No sign ups. Meet in the park...you know which one. I like to play in the sun.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:43:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This reminded me of Solomon's description of the woman he loved in Song of Songs 4.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:43:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
More a 1.5.
Yeah, where do I sign up - checkers?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:41:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Banjo, that's precisely it. Sage and I discussed before posting this what would happen. I've posted my other "writing" on this site for 2 months now with a pretty high success rate. Not that I care any more, because let's face it...hits are everything.
I also like the attention that the trolls give me. Wanna play checkers?
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This isn't -2 worthy, far from it. -2 just because you are who you are.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and another.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Watching you write is like watching Helen Keller try to play the piano. I also have no doubt that she could write more accurate and vivid detail. She'd at least know what the words meant.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:17:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 18:16:00 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh look, a troll named red dedicated to me. Who can I thank for such a wonderful gift?
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Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-08 18:14:58 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
>>Mystic Meg ?
-2.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh look, a troll named red dedicated to me. Who can I thank for such a wonderful gift?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:14:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Mystic Meg
-2.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
tl;dr
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Admit it...you want to hammer my penis down your gullet and that is what you have to say?
Did you like it or dislike it? Criticism or was it just that awesome?
============================
this post made me wanna hammer your gens... with my fist.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114671
fucking freak you.
No I thought this was interesting. Sadly I dont know that YEARS these are actually implying in numbers. So alas I was a bit lost.
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was born in the year of the monkey, and while I'm not particularly obtuse, something tells me that I can't crush diamonds with my intelligence.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Admit it...you want to hammer my penis down your gullet and that is what you have to say?
Did you like it or dislike it? Criticism or was it just that awesome?
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-04-08 13:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really have nothing to say...