Light Skinned Dark Girl (3005 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.44 on 121 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by loveinbrevity (View user info) at 2009-02-04 01:06:42 EST
I didn't have very many friends in middle school. I was an outcast and was picked on relentlessly. My teasing wasn't unwarranted. I was a weird kid. When we were studying Romeo and Juliet for an honors class, I went an entire month speaking only in Shakespearean English. I ate my lunches by myself in the courtyard with a copy of The Catcher in the Rye and whenever anyone made the mistake of talking to me, I bored them to death with discussions of religion, politics, or comic books. I thought I was clever. The rest of Newark, New Jersey's 2001, 7th grade class thought I was an asshole.
Although I was a nerd, I was still a 13 year old girl wrought with insecurities. I was miserable and friendless. I spent many nights in front of a full length mirror crying over my appearance. I was 5'8, but weighed only 93 lbs. On top of my pathetically skinny body, was a head of thick, unruly, curly blonde hair. Behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses was a set of dark green eyes. I had pasty pale skin and my face was dotted with zits. I was young, insecure, and impressionable.
One afternoon after school I was sitting on my swing set alone. The red-headed neighbor girl poked her head over the fence. She had lived next door to me for years, but we had never spoken. She went to the catholic school across town and I never played outside so there was never an opportunity for conversation. There was also never an opportunity for her to realize what a nerd-o I was.
"Your name's Amanda, right."
"Yeah" I said "How'd you know?"
"I can hear your mom yelling at you sometimes."
My face reddened with embarrassment.
"What are you doing out here by yourself?"
"Nothing" I said, "I'm just kinda hanging out."
"That's cool. My Friend Cody and I are going to go walk the Ave. Wanna come?"
"Yeah" I said, trying not to show my excitement. "Let me go tell my mom, I'll meet you out front."
I ran inside and gave my mom some story about going to the movies alone. She gave me ten dollars and I ran out front.
"I'm Hannah. Let's go. Cody lives right up the block."
We walked up the block and met up with Cody. I found out Cody was short for Dakota. Dakota was tall, blonde, and beautiful. She was everything I wished I was.
Cody, Hannah, and I walked the few blocks to the Ave. Along the way we chit-chatted about school and boy bands. I liked N*Sync, but they were Backstreet Boys fans so I pretended to be one too.
We stopped outside of the local quick check. The girls wanted to buy cigarettes. They argued back and forth over who would be the one to ask the bum to buy them for
us. I didn't smoke, but I wanted the girls to like me and to think I was brave so I approached him. I gave him the ten and told him he could keep the change from the cigarettes if he bought them for us. Of course he agreed.
I sauntered back to them, beaming with pride over what I thought to be my greatest accomplishment. I was expecting praise, but received none. They had already changed conversations and were beginning to loose interest in me.
The bum came back with our cigarettes. We walked up and down the Ave with our chests puffed out smoking cigarettes and doing our best to look sophisticated. We smiled and flirted with the boys as they passed on their bicycles. I was nervous and didn't really say much of anything. I found the more I agreed with them the more they liked me. In an effort to maintain my new friendship I simply smiled and nodded.
A black Toyota, Camry pulled up alongside of us and rolled down its windows. Inside was a man in his late twenties. He had dark skin and a thin pencil mustache. He was lost. He asked for directions in Spanish. I was about to open my mouth to answer him when Cody yelled.
"Get away you Dirty Fucking Spic!"
"Yeah, you fucking filthy beaner. We don't want to buy any tacos asshole. No speaky the Spanish. Learn some fucking English asshole. This is America A-MER-I-CA." Hannah yelled along side Cody.
I was shocked and said nothing. The man rolled back up his windows and continued down the road.
"What do you think that spic wanted?" asked Cody
"I don't know, he was probably trying to kidnap us or something, you know how those dirty fucking Mexicans are. When did they start letting them drive. It should be illegal for a spic to have a license." Hannah retorted.
"What do you think he said?" Cody asked me.
I paused. I was shocked. What would they say if they knew I was Cuban? It was obvious they'd never speak to me again. I wasn't worried that they'd hurt me. I was worried they wouldn't want to be my friend. I didn't care that they offended me and my people. All I knew is that I wanted to see these girls again. I wanted to go to the movies on Friday nights. I wanted to gossip and have sleepovers. I wanted to stay up late and braid each others' hair like the other girls at school did. I wanted to be liked. I had to pretend that his language was not my own.
"I don't know" I said. "Hannah's right. He probably wanted to sell us tacos or something stupid."
The street lights came on which signaled it was time to go home. Dinner would be ready soon. We walked Cody home and then Hannah and I walked the rest of the way together.
"What're you doing tomorrow after school? Hannah asked me.
"I don't know, I was gonna study I guess."
"Screw studying. Tell your mom you're going to the movies again. We're going to walk the tracks and see how far we can get. We gotta take the long way though. We can't start at Elm Park, too many niggers hang out there. We'll have to cut through the bushes and get on the tracks a few blocks up the road."
"Alright I said. Cool. I'll come by after school."
I walked up the steps and into my house. I could smell that dinner was almost ready. I walked into the kitchen where my mom was bustling around hurriedly putting the finishing touches on dinner. My mom was short and petite. She had short blonde hair, and a long thin nose. Her skin was the same as mine only a bit more olive tone. She spoke with a slight Spanish accent that I had become so accustomed to that I usually didn't notice. Except today, today I noticed it.
"Hola mijita, how was your movie."
"I didn't go to the movies."
"Si no, entonces ¿qué hiciste?"
"I hung around with the girl next door. We were window shopping on the Ave."
"Que bueno, it's good to have friends. Maybe now you won't sulk around the house."
"I don't sulk mom. I mope, there's a difference....what's for dinner?"
"Arroz con pollo. It's almost ready. Why don't you go upstairs and wash up?"
"I don't want arroz con pollo mom."
"No? I could have sworn that just yesterday you said it was your favorite."
"That was yesterday mom. It's today now." I said with the attitude that so frequently accompanies adolescence. "Do we have anything less....ethnic?"
"Ethnic? Que Ethnic. It's not Vietnamese duck embryos. It's fucking chicken....make yourself some macaroni and cheese then. I'm not cooking anything else, this is not Burger King."
When she said Burger King she pronounced it booger king and it made me cringe. Yesterday I would have smiled, but today I was embarrassed for my mother. I walked over to the microwave and made some Easy Mac.
"I'm taking this to my room."
"Porque? You don't want to eat with your family? Your dad is coming home any minute and he was looking forward to spending time with his daughters. You have homework?"
"Yeah mom, I have a lot of homework, you'll have to eat dinner without me."
"Que vas hacer, you have homework, school is the most important thing in your life."
"I know, I know, it's my only job, blah, blah, blah I remember."
"Watch your attitude missy"
I took my food into my room which was the finished attic. I walked over to my boom box and rifled through my CDs. I decided on Beck and I played it loudly. I ate my mac and cheese and began to mull over my day. I liked these girls. They were cool and sophisticated, but what would happen if they found out I was Hispanic. I could never let them figure it out. I could never invite them over my house. We all looked white enough, but the second my mother opened her mouth it would be game over.
I had always had trouble with my ethnicity. The white girls at school didn't like me because of my last name. The Hispanic girls didn't like me because of my fair skin, light eyes, and blonde hair. It didn't make that big of a difference to me, because no one liked me anyway and I say by myself at lunch. I didn't have to worry about which table I would sit at. To look at the cafeteria in my school, one would think segregation was still
being applied. The tables were color coded. Where you sat in the cafeteria defined your social status. It was a system of hierarchy in which I had no place.
Since these girls didn't go to my school, they weren't aware of my loser-status. It was important to me that they never find out. This was my only chance of friendship for the rest of my school career. All of the kids from middle school were going to transfer to the same high school and my reputation would only follow me there. This was my one and only chance at acceptance and no matter what, I had to make it work.
I began to think about race. My mother had always taught me to be acceptant of all people. She told me that race, gender, sexual orientation and creed were not important. What matters was the person. She taught me to take each individual on a person by person basis and make my decisions based on them and not on many. Was she right? Did none of that stuff matter, or was she wrong. God knows she'd been wrong before. What if this whole time Spanish people were inferior and she didn't want me to know. Maybe she was trying to keep me from developing a complex. She'd hid things from me in the past. This could be one of them. These girls, Cody and Hannah, they were smart. They knew things I didn't. They were cool, they smoked cigarettes; they had to be right. I decided right then and there that I hated niggers and spics too, myself and my family included, and that no matter what happened, I'd never let on that I was a member of this inferior class of people. I would take my secret to the grave.
The next day at school was pretty typical. After third period I had to go to the bathroom to pick the spit balls out of my curls. I was tripped on my way down the stairs and ate the last three steps. I tried the cafeteria at lunch, but someone yelled something disgusting, they suggested that I masturbated to comic books. I took my lunch in the courtyard and ate by myself reading my well-thumbed copy of Catch in the Rye. When the dismal bell rang I ran home. I didn't stop the entire 6 blocks. I threw my book bag down on the kitchen table. I ran around the house wildly.
"Mom, Mom are you home? Mom where are you?"
She hadn't gotten home from work yet. I looked at the clock and realized I had made it home twenty minutes faster than I usually did. I left a not on the refrigerator that informed her that I had finished my homework at school and that I was going out with the neighbor girl to do more window shopping. I would be back when the street lights came on. I ran back outside teaming over with excitement. I flung open the front door and saw Hanna sitting on my porch. I tired to collect myself and appear cool and nonchalant.
"What took ya?"
"I had to leave my mom a note."
"Oh, well lets go, Cody's waiting for us."
We walked up to Cody's house and from there we headed over towards Elm Park.
"Let's just check Elm Park out. Maybe the niggers won't be there yet. It's still early. What's the point in walking three extra blocks to avoid niggers that aint even there?" Cody said
"Alright, it's worth a shot." said Hannah.
When we got to Elm Park it was empty so we started to walk across it.
"Stay on the side walk. Don't cut through the grass. The niggers chill here so there's probably heroin needles and stuff in the grass."
I didn't know that all black people did heroin, but because Cody said it, I accepted it as fact and dared not show my ignorance.
We got onto the tracks and began to walk them. We each lit up a cigarette and started talking about the boys we liked in school and how they compared to characters in our favorite TV shows. We talked about which celebrities we would marry and where we were going to move after high school. These were conversations that I'd seen take place on TV and that I've heard the other girls in school having. I was ecstatic to actually be partaking in them instead of just listening. I was the happiest I'd ever been in my life. I was being rebellious. If my mother knew I was on the train tracks she would have had a coronary heart attack. She would be afraid of me being run over by a train even though they only ran once an hour and if one came all I had to do was step aside and let it pass. She would probably murder me if she caught me smoking too. There was no doubt in my mind that my mother would literally end my life if she even suspected that I thought about smoking. This made my tracks adventure all the more alluring. This was by far the most fun I'd ever had in my life.
We walked the tracks for what felt like miles before we decided to turn back. The tracks were in the brush, and we couldn't see the street lights from where we were. None of us was wearing a watch, so we had no concept of time. We walked back much more briskly than we did there. All three of us were nervous. We all silently prayed that the lights hadn't come on, but none of us let on that we were afraid of our parents. We each tried to look cool in front of each other, but from the pace of our walk and from our lack of conversation it was obvious that each of us was as scared shitless as the other. When we got close enough to civilization we saw that the street lights were in fact on, but we had no way of knowing how long they'd been on for.
We got to the corner of Midland Ave and Chestnut St. Normally, we would make a left on Chestnut and walk Cody the block to her house, but today we split at the corner with a very haphazard goodbye. Cody went left, and Hannah and I went right. Hannah turned up her stairs and I turned up mine. She paused halfway up them and yelled to get my attention.
"Hey!"
I stopped to face her."
"Tomorrow Cody is sleeping over my house. I'll ask if you can too. Ask your mom alright?"
"Alright" I said and proceeded to run up the stairs.
Any punishment from my mom would be worth it now. I'd finally reach the pentacle of preteen girlhood, a sleepover, the holy grail of friendship. My head was immediately filled with dreams of popcorn, hot chocolate, movies, and braids. This would prove to be the high point of my life I thought.
"You're late" my mother said barely looking up from the table she was sitting.
"I'm sorry."
"Just don't let it happen again. Help me set the table."
I had gotten away with it. What else could I get away with I thought as I laid silverware out on the table.
Dinner was ready not too long after. My dad sat at the head of the table with my mom to his right. My older sister sat next to my mom and my little sister and I sat across
Perez, 6
from them at the table. We ate our meal over casual conversation. Everyone went around the table and told how their days went. It was my turn.
"I went window shopping on the Ave. again. I'm going to save my allowance and buy this pretty blouse from Mandee's." I paused to take a bit out of my lechon asado. I chewed slowly and just as my sister was about to speak I blurted out with a full mouth.
"Can I sleep over Hannah's tomorrow?"
The question hung in the air. None of us had ever made such a request before. My father was a firm believer of not burdening other people. He always made sure he never overstayed his welcome and tried to teach us to be the same way.
"I don't see why not, Leida is it alright with you?"
"It's not a school night."
"There it's settled Amandita. I'll call her parents after dinner and make sure it's ok with them."
Shit I thought. If my dad called her parents they would hear in his accent that he was Hispanic. It would blow my whole cover.
"You can't call them Daddy."
"Why not. I'm not very well going to send my daughter to someone's house without obtaining their permission first.
"They have to be up for work very early daddy, they'll be upset if you call."
"Well if I don't talk to them, you're not going."
I weighed my options. I finally decided that maybe if my dad called her parents, they wouldn't tell Hannah he was Hispanic. It's not like it would come up in conversation. I mean how would Hannah's dad bring it up? It's not like he'd very well say
"That nice Hispanic man called asking if Amanda would stay over."
No, that wouldn't happen. My secret would be safe as long as it stayed among adults, one grown up to another. Besides, what choice did I have?
"Ok Daddy. You should call them after dinner.
I stayed up all night. I was too excited about my sleep over to sleep. I kept imagining all of the exciting things we would do. I wrote a list of things to say so that I would never appear boring. It was 8:00am by the time I got to bed.
By the time I woke up the next day, my parents had already left for work. It was three o'clock in the afternoon for Christ's sake. I showered and tried to comb my hair just right, taking care to place an equal amount of frizz serum to each curl. I packed my over night bag as if I were packing for war. I took care to pick out my best pair of pajamas, my pink tooth brush, my day of the week underwear, taking special care to make sure I grabbed the right day. I made a list and checked it again and again making sure that I had every necessary item in tow, even though if I forgot something I would only be right next door.
I ran next door and rang the bell. Hannah came outside taking special care to close the door behind her as she stepped out.
"You can't sleep over."
"Yes I can" I said happily. "I asked my dad, he said it was ok."
"My dad said no. He said you're dad is a spic and he doesn't want spics in his house. I'm sorry, but my dad said no. I told him it's not true. You're dad isn't a spic is he?"
My eyes began to fill with tears. I couldn't hide my disappointment. I blinked and the tears began to fall uncontrollably down my face.
"Yeah, he is, and so is my mom."
Before she could say anything, I turned my back to her and ran back to my house. I threw myself on the bed and sobbed uncontrollably for hours. I thought nothing, no emotion could ever replace my sorrow and disappointment. I thought that I would feel this sadness for the rest of my life, and every other emotion would just be a distant memory until I head the front door open. Suddenly my pain was replaced with anger.
I marched down the stairs and met my mother at the front door.
"Que paso carino, why aren't you at your sleepover?"
"You can speak English mom, why don't you use it. This is America you know."
"I know what country this is, but this is my house and I can use whatever language I please."
"The American's were nice enough to let you move into their country and buy a house on their property the least you can do is use the right fucking language mom."
"Their country? The last time I checked they stole this land from the Native Americans. I'm a political refugee...and this is my fucking house. I work to pay my mortgage, I don't see any Americans handing me shit and you better watch who you're talking to, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm you're mother and you will respect me."
"How could I ever respect a spic?" the word spic sounded as if I had spit it out of my mouth.
My mother's face contorted into the most horrible image I have ever seen. You could see the hurt in her eyes and the shock in her expression. She pulled her arm back and hit me across the face so hard my lip broke and blood began to trickle down the corner of my mouth.
"If I'm a spic, than you're a spic too." She grabbed my wrist and shoved it into my face pushing it into my nose. "My blood, this blood," she said shoving my wrist further into my face so that my nose felt like it had a million pounds of pressure on it and I feared she would break it. "This blood runs though your veins. This is the blood of a proud, hard working, good people. This is blood you should be proud of. She dropped my wrist and my arm hung like spaghetti on my side.
"Go to your room and wait for your father."
I kept my eyes on the floor and turned silently and slowly walking up the stairs. I lied in my bed face up. I didn't want to think of what my father was going to do to me. I didn't want to begin to fathom the possibilities. I just laid there blank awaiting my fate
After what felt like an eternity, I heard the front door open and I knew it was my father. I grew tense with fear. I was honestly terrified. I tried to imagine what my mother was telling my father. Why the hell was it taking so long for him to come up here? I wished he would just shoot me. Quick and painless, that's the best I could hope for.
After what felt like an eternity I heard my father climb the stairs to my room. It felt as if each step took him an hour. I'd never seen someone walk up the stairs more slowly in my life. He opened the door and came in. He was holding a book. His expression was blank. He threw the book at my feet.
"Read this, and don't come down stairs until you're done."
I picked up the book. It was a leather-bound journal written by my grandmother. In it was the story of my family. It told of how my grandfather was active in a political rebellion and how in the middle of the night he was taken from his home. My grandmother had to flee the country in the middle of the night with her 3 children. It told of my families struggle with racism in America. I cried from cover to cover. I didn't know how strong of a person my grandmother had been. I was filled with pride and guilt at the same time. I hated myself for being so weak and allowing myself to be swayed by the opinions of others.
When I finished the book it was well into the early morning. I crept down the stairs and into my parents' bedroom. I curled up in bed next to my mother and wept like an infant. My mother took me into her arms and held me until I fell asleep.
When we woke up the next day, no one said a word about the incident. My mother got up and made breakfast. My father kissed me on the forehead and got ready for work. The rest of the day went on as usual.
When I came home from school on Monday I saw Hannah leaving her house. I was sitting on my front porch reading The Catcher in the Rye.
"Hey Amanda"
"Hi Hannah."
"I'm going to go meet up with Cody, do you wanna come?"
"Nah" I said "I've got a lot of homework."
"Alright, maybe next time."
There was no next time. I still saw Hannah from time to time and she always smiled and waved, but we never exchanged words again.
User Reviews
Submitted by Cacoo (user info) at 2009-02-10 07:22:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I think it was quite interesting
Submitted by loveinbrevity (user info) at 2009-02-09 00:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this guy kidding?
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2009-02-08 12:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Too goddamned long to finish reading, because I'm starting the day with sierra mist and vodka. Anywho, tell me... If Americans go to Mexico, is it expected that they learn some Spanish to get by? You'd think that would work both ways. It's not a matter of making it easy for others. Learn the fucking language to make it easier on yourself. Don't get pissed off because motherfuckers aren't catering to your imported ass. That's probably why the little shit's got angry about spicola the spic. Too fucking stupid to adapt to his surroundings.
That is... if that's even the point of the post. I just know I saw the word spic and became kind of happy.
And that avoiding learning English shit... Isn't that predominantly dumb mexy bullshit? I've dated chicks from South America and they were talking about how Mexicans are just fucking (mentally) lazy,(sure they can build shit, but when it comes to things involving not being a dumb bag of shit they're fucked) and that's why they don't learn english.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2009-02-08 09:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-08 08:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I may have mauled my boyfriend but I guarantee he still outshines you in the looks department.
Doodles - a face only his Troglodyte mother could love
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-07 19:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
by "boy friend" manbearpig, of course meant what remains of the man from animal control who tried to bring her to the pound
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 18:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool!!!
COOL!!!
You have no bloody idea how COOL it is!!!
In the last 2 hours about 6 ft of snow has fallen. I've tried to make by bf go outside and build a snowman but he's having none of it at midnight.
Doodles is the moronic son of King Kong's inbred sister.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-07 18:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 17:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this and didn't think about the spelling or formatting until I read some of the reviews below. Anybody who doesn't give this a postive rating is a fucking moron i.e. doodles. You didn't lose my attention once.
--------------
Well, lookie there, Doodles. Even Scotland knows that you are a fool. How cool.. . . . . .
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-02-07 17:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this and didn't think about the spelling or formatting until I read some of the reviews below. Anybody who doesn't give this a postive rating is a fucking moron i.e. doodles. You didn't lose my attention once.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-06 23:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
actually, I only turn my computer off for updates, or when I'll be gone for an extended period of time.
I'd be suitably impressed if you could get into my computer without me allowing it.
I also don't have itunes.
A regular generic mp3 player works fine for me.
I'll once again say feel free to post my ip address.
hope you fags had fun today with out me.
I won't be on much tomorrow either, i'm afraid.
You'll just have to find someone else to fail at arguing with.
Submitted by therealgeddylee (user info) at 2009-02-06 20:02:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what would be cool? If the entire story were on 1 single, long line. It would have probably been easier to read that way.
Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-02-06 17:38:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The goat and I had been on a number of dinner dates prior, it's not like it was a one night thing.
jeeze.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-06 17:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She'd kick YOUR ass first.
Wait, what pictures?..
=============
How quickly they forget...
Orphelia and the goat? Ring a bell?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:32:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She'd kick YOUR ass first.
Wait, what pictures?...
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gee thanks for the first name drop, asshole. Just remember that I have names and pics, as well. I don't doubt that your sister will kick your ass if her info got dropped around here.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-06 12:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's right, Jack. Just remember that I made you. In that you're my alter and such.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-06 10:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I wasn't worried until now, but you keep naming dropping on me.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-06 10:16:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You getting nervous, Sandy? You afraid someone's going to learn your real first name, Mr. Webber?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-06 10:14:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What threats? And why did he turn off his computer? I WAS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNLOADING HIS ITUNES LIBRARY!!!!!!
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-06 09:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Icarus, it's obvious that Doofles is not going to fall for your threats. Don't you realize that he is operating on a higher plane than everybody else?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-06 08:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Foodles, but neither NAT nor port blocking are bulletproof defenses. There are eight year olds out there that can defeat residential firewalls.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-06 00:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles, thinking he's good enough at pissing people off to have them try to find him.
Now, THAT'S pathetic.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 23:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
On a side note, if my power goes out/ i cut power to the central hub and wait roughly five minutes, i'll receive a new address.
ten minutes of work.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 22:57:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
because, simply put if I have any sort of firewall you couldn't access my computer.
i do.
you can't
ergo the only value it might have is general location of where i live and/or my provider.
Except that you can't get a definite address.
So that your veiled threat is pretty useless.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 22:42:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamnit
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 22:41:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why would I care where you live? I mean, sure you could use an IP address for that certainly, but unless you want to invest in a plane ticket, hotel room etc, you could just use an IP address to gain access to an admin share on someone else's computer. Especially if they didn't set a password on their local administrator account. Which most people don't.
An IP lease is also generally good for weeks, so it's not like it's a terribly simple thing to change.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:56:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Although I liked Milk more than the wrestler.
Milk might be my favorite movie this year. At least it is, so far.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
IF you liked movies more on the line of Milk and Frost Nixon, it's worth seeing.
If you're into underwolrd/push et. all you'll be bored.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:54:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh no, it's fun
unless you're referring to your situation
THAT is tragic.
or if you're referring to your boy friend
THAT is also tragic.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles, was "The Wrestler" over-hyped or pretty much what they say it is? 'Cause they're pimpin' it like it's THE movie of '09. Nevermind that it's only Feb.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
tragic, below
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:48:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
But THAT is where you're sadly mistaken
See lojope, jack, mystia, bubba and now kaos for proof.
what is TRUE is much better than random generic insults (RE: stunned cunt, insipid, etc.)
it's okay sandy, when you spend all your spare time blowing old men for pocket change you can't learn the intricacies of internet arguments.
---
At least you're not as pathetic as your other half. I guess if dressing up in wigs and pretending you're from 1700's is your idea of 'fun' then you might take the internet pretty seriously.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 19:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118838 is what makes you gay.
Do you know why your mother left you? It was because she couldn't stand the thought of having a fucking faggot for a son.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118838#2785155
This is what makes you pathetic. In case your head hurts while you try to comprehend I'll spell it out for you: believing that you've "called me out" by repeating things that I posted (which I've never tried to refute) is retarded. Trying to hurt somebody by throwing their own words back at them is pitiful. Imagining any different is tragic.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:34:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It was a pretty good movie.
I like how you're trying to threaten me with my IP address.
it's not like it's hard to get, super hacker.
post it if you would like to, it'll help you find my internet service provider and let you know the vicinity (give or take 10 miles) of where I live.
Also that I use DSL
Did I miss anything?
you look so much like simon/maltese/oathmeal right now, it is hardly funny.
did i strike a nerve?
i mean osmeone who doesn't care about me obviously wouldn't go to any trouble on my behalf now would he?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2009-02-05 21:11:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I do.
Send it to silvrwolf.at.gmail.com.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 20:24:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Be sure her wears a condom, Bret. OMG THE SECRET'S OUT.
Seriously, who wants Noodle's IP Address?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 19:31:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well as much as I've enjoyed this, I'm seeing the wrestler tonight.
I'll be sure to let you all know how it is.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 19:26:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118838 is what makes you gay.
Do you know why your mother left you? It was because she couldn't stand the thought of having a fucking faggot for a son.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-05 19:17:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
O NOES! DOOFLES CALLED MEE GHEY! IT MUST BEE TROO!
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 19:07:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm afraid you're not making too much sense champ.
What am I jealous of?
And regarding you, I'd prefer to not "take it" in any way, queer.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-05 19:05:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sure, Doodles, if that's how you want to take it.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 19:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What am I jealous of?
Your broke flaming fag sex?
I'd prefer to not get AIDs actually
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-05 18:57:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw, Doodles; your jealosy is pitiful.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 18:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
by the way, i love how you both take ratings super cereal. -2 spamming is sooooooo 2006.
that and you couldn't get into my computer/network if you tried.
I like the OMG IM AN 1337 HAX0RZ bluff though. good one.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 18:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
icarsu's last two commets = fail
honestly i thought you were supposed to be the smart one.
if you can't come up with anything good/funny/amusing just walk away now please.
sandyag you were drawn in because I love that you're his ball sucking. cum guzzing, cock whipped bitch boy.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 18:40:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAVE ANOTHER DAMN SCROLL MOUSE THING
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 18:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH NOES
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 18:40:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I had no idea what the dumbfuck was talking about, besides perhaps engaging in his own private world of homosexual uberotica. There's loads on his hard drive, by the way. Want his IP address? He left his admin password blank, the stupid fuck.
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2009-02-05 18:33:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 20:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 18:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the thing, Noodles: nobody gives a shit. The fact remains that you are an anal retentive, petty douche and that the world would be a better place if you sliced your own wrists. Get to it now, you dumb fucker. Chop chop.
---
Evidently, you DO care. See, if a post deserves a +2 I'll give it one, if it deserves a -2 I'll do that to.
I didn't read this
Nor will I read this until she learns how to properly space a post.
Uber has gotten much too lovey-dovey
However, I DO find it admirable that you must defend sandy's honor. It is very chivalrous of you.
Most men today don't know how to treat their women.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How did I get drawn into this, you brain dead twit? I like how you imagine that you've "called me out". It's calling somebody out if it's something that they are trying to keep secret or pretend didn't happen. Rather, I posted it of my own volition.
You are making yourself look pathetic and ignorant, but you aren't calling anybody out.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 17:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 15:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 08:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You misunderstand, Noodles. I'm not saying no one cares about the post. The post is fine if you know how to imagine a space here or there.
I'm saying that no one really notices you.
You're one of those schtickless, homogenous blobs that orbits somewhere in the outer periphery. You're sort of like Pluto in that no one really cares whether you're a planet or a moon or a yellow cartoon dog. The only reason we push your buttons is so that we can get you to write lengthy defenses of your grammar-naziism (complete with misspelling and crappy punctuation), and then OOOOO insinuate homosexuality if people don't think you're Livejournal's answer to Simon Cowell.
---
Firstly, your response was far more lengthy.
secondly, n this situation I've pushed your buttons by baiting you into this conversation
thirdly, I'm no where near a grammar nazi. a formatting nazi if you must. Those two are FAR from inclusive. (grammar deals with the inner workings of sentences, as I hardly ever punctuate or capitalize, my grammar is poor. HOWEVER, I do spend the time to double-click the enter key for easy reading.)
fourthly, you haven't denied that sandy's your bottom, and he has openly admitted to being a gay whore. Therefore I will take that to mean that you are in fact his daddy, for the moment.
thank you, come again
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'
You must get loads of babes.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-05 15:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 08:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You misunderstand, Noodles. I'm not saying no one cares about the post. The post is fine if you know how to imagine a space here or there.
I'm saying that no one really notices you.
You're one of those schtickless, homogenous blobs that orbits somewhere in the outer periphery. You're sort of like Pluto in that no one really cares whether you're a planet or a moon or a yellow cartoon dog. The only reason we push your buttons is so that we can get you to write lengthy defenses of your grammar-naziism (complete with misspelling and crappy punctuation), and then OOOOO insinuate homosexuality if people don't think you're Livejournal's answer to Simon Cowell.
---
Firstly, your response was far more lengthy.
secondly, n this situation I've pushed your buttons by baiting you into this conversation
thirdly, I'm no where near a grammar nazi. a formatting nazi if you must. Those two are FAR from inclusive. (grammar deals with the inner workings of sentences, as I hardly ever punctuate or capitalize, my grammar is poor. HOWEVER, I do spend the time to double-click the enter key for easy reading.)
fourthly, you haven't denied that sandy's your bottom, and he has openly admitted to being a gay whore. Therefore I will take that to mean that you are in fact his daddy, for the moment.
thank you, come again
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-02-05 13:56:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
loved this
Submitted by TheStitch (user info) at 2009-02-05 13:52:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Formatting: sucked
Content: genuine and superb
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-02-05 12:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 08:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 20:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 18:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the thing, Noodles: nobody gives a shit. The fact remains that you are an anal retentive, petty douche and that the world would be a better place if you sliced your own wrists. Get to it now, you dumb fucker. Chop chop.
---
Evidently, you DO care. See, if a post deserves a +2 I'll give it one, if it deserves a -2 I'll do that to.
I didn't read this
Nor will I read this until she learns how to properly space a post.
Uber has gotten much too lovey-dovey
However, I DO find it admirable that you must defend sandy's honor. It is very chivalrous of you.
Most men today don't know how to treat their women.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You misunderstand, Noodles. I'm not saying no one cares about the post. The post is fine if you know how to imagine a space here or there.
I'm saying that no one really notices you.
You're one of those schtickless, homogenous blobs that orbits somewhere in the outer periphery. You're sort of like Pluto in that no one really cares whether you're a planet or a moon or a yellow cartoon dog. The only reason we push your buttons is so that we can get you to write lengthy defenses of your grammar-naziism (complete with misspelling and crappy punctuation), and then OOOOO insinuate homosexuality if people don't think you're Livejournal's answer to Simon Cowell.
******************************
I laffed. <3 you Ic.
Still, author...PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD edit and properly format your posts. Shit...if you email them to me I'll fucking do it FOR you. astrasoleil.at.gmail.com
<3 Sage
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-02-05 11:55:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't get a chance to read this untill now. Very good. Very moving.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-02-05 09:13:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a great read! But in the future, please, for the love of God use some spellcheck and editing.
Otherwise it was a great story, and kudos on the length, there aren't enough people writing long, coherent, and cohesive stories here these days.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-05 09:03:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm changing my rating because too many people are mislead. This post is mediocre at best.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-05 08:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 20:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 18:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the thing, Noodles: nobody gives a shit. The fact remains that you are an anal retentive, petty douche and that the world would be a better place if you sliced your own wrists. Get to it now, you dumb fucker. Chop chop.
---
Evidently, you DO care. See, if a post deserves a +2 I'll give it one, if it deserves a -2 I'll do that to.
I didn't read this
Nor will I read this until she learns how to properly space a post.
Uber has gotten much too lovey-dovey
However, I DO find it admirable that you must defend sandy's honor. It is very chivalrous of you.
Most men today don't know how to treat their women.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You misunderstand, Noodles. I'm not saying no one cares about the post. The post is fine if you know how to imagine a space here or there.
I'm saying that no one really notices you.
You're one of those schtickless, homogenous blobs that orbits somewhere in the outer periphery. You're sort of like Pluto in that no one really cares whether you're a planet or a moon or a yellow cartoon dog. The only reason we push your buttons is so that we can get you to write lengthy defenses of your grammar-naziism (complete with misspelling and crappy punctuation), and then OOOOO insinuate homosexuality if people don't think you're Livejournal's answer to Simon Cowell.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2009-02-05 05:54:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-05 00:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
haha, scrath that, i'm fucking retarded.
good show.
====================
Hey! It was an honest mistake. Istaros, Icarus, wtf.
My GOD, I just supported Doodles. Imo kill myself. . . .
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:58:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
obviously, i started replying before you posted your own reply. and yes, a failure is you. maybe i will spam your posts now after all
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:56:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if you look below you'll see WHY i'm retarded.
a failure is me :(
and i was just preaching reading comprehension a few days ago.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH
the POST gets a -2 you drooling MORON
i wasn't talking to you, nor have i even been here in fucking forever. my suggestion: pull your head out of your ass and look at reality, it's not that hard to stop seeing the world only through its effects on your ego. sorry you're butthurt, but again, i don't care, particularly since it's of your own doing. jesus christ.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
haha, scrath that, i'm fucking retarded.
good show.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
says the man who is -2ing the same post he bitched about me -2ing
and the same one who spammed me with -2s
seems you have the grudge, not me.
come now, surely you MUST be a more worthy opponent than your girl.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what the fuck are you even babbling about, idiot? is there some GRUDGE you want to express? cry about it to someone else because i don't even know who you are, much less give a fuck about you
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
---
And you said I was stupid.
I like how my unrelenting torment of your uber-girlfriend caused you to -2 several of mine.
it's okay, same principle as fighting the guy who looks at your girl in the club.
except i doubt you've ever been to a club.
you seem to be rather introverted and antisocial.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2009-02-04 21:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
how sweet
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 20:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 18:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the thing, Noodles: nobody gives a shit. The fact remains that you are an anal retentive, petty douche and that the world would be a better place if you sliced your own wrists. Get to it now, you dumb fucker. Chop chop.
---
Evidently, you DO care. See, if a post deserves a +2 I'll give it one, if it deserves a -2 I'll do that to.
I didn't read this
Nor will I read this until she learns how to properly space a post.
Uber has gotten much too lovey-dovey
However, I DO find it admirable that you must defend sandy's honor. It is very chivalrous of you.
Most men today don't know how to treat their women.
Submitted by phuchuebuddy (user info) at 2009-02-04 20:09:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 18:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
out of her last 5 posts, 4 have been improperly formatted.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/120964
http://www.ubersite.com/m/120459
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118122
and this one.
Sorry to get the writer's brigade collective panties in a twist.
not really.
also you all evidently care about ratings.
good for you, i guess
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's the thing, Noodles: nobody gives a shit. The fact remains that you are an anal retentive, petty douche and that the world would be a better place if you sliced your own wrists. Get to it now, you dumb fucker. Chop chop.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-04 18:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles, still responding to my bullshit. . .
:D
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-02-04 18:14:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Doodles is right, the formatting issue has been mentioned before on previous posts and ignored.
It was a pain to read, however this time worth the struggle.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 17:58:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How was I "wrong"?
I stated a verifable statistic.
www.dictionary.com
wrong   /rɔŋ, rɒŋ/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [rawng, rong] Show IPA Pronunciation
-adjective 1. not in accordance with what is morally right or good: a wrong deed.
2. deviating from truth or fact; erroneous: a wrong answer.
3. not correct in action, judgment, opinion, method, etc., as a person; in error: You are wrong to blame him.
4. not proper or usual; not in accordance with requirements or recommended practice: the wrong way to hold a golf club.
5. out of order; awry; amiss: Something is wrong with the machine.
6. not suitable or appropriate: He always says the wrong thing.
7. (of clothing) that should be worn or kept inward or under: You're wearing the sweater wrong side out.
definition #1,3,4,5,6,7 don't work in conjunction to your sentence. Not that they would work in regards to this "argument" and I use that term loosly, you dimwitted half-breed, because, to be honest a numerical vale can't evil.
Saying "doodles, you're wrong as always" doesn't make sense.
Saying "doodles, it is wrong of you to give her a -2 just because she doesn't know what an enter key lloks like" would have been a correct usage of the word.
thanks for playing.
Submitted by Sidivan (user info) at 2009-02-04 17:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I read this twice. I settled on a +1 because while the story was great, the formatting, spelling errors, and misused words took their toll.
Proofreading this would have fixed almost all of the errors. A pentacle is a pentagram. The word you're looking for is "pinnacle".
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-04 17:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Acarnis, the conjugation is proper upone rereading but the dialect is not one that a Cuban would use.
Also, she calls them black people after using this sentence: "I decided right then and there that I hated niggers and spics too, myself and my family included, and that no matter what happened, I'd never let on that I was a member of this inferior class of people." If that was concurrent with the tense it would be redundant since they wouldn't be black people, but niggers.
It's a small, really miniscule thing I picked up on but I don't think this is as good as every one is making it out to be, especially since this story has been told no fewer than 1 million times.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2009-02-04 17:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rubbermaid, I'm wondering just out of curiosity. What Spanish in the post isn't conjugated like a local dialect? Also, if not "black people," then what should she call them in that sentence?
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU Bubba
==========
FOAD, Method.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
STFU Bubba
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:41:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Doodles, you are wrong, as always. You can't give it up, can you? Almost everyone else sees the value in the post, but you, being the brainless dolt you are, cannot. Just call your mom and tell her you are sorry that you turned into a piece of shit. She will likely forgive you, although you don't deserve it. Shoot yourself in the face, little boy. THAT you deserve.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:36:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice.
use enter key next time though. he's your friend.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
out of her last 5 posts, 4 have been improperly formatted.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/120964
http://www.ubersite.com/m/120459
http://www.ubersite.com/m/118122
and this one.
Sorry to get the writer's brigade collective panties in a twist.
not really.
also you all evidently care about ratings.
good for you, i guess
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:25:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-02-04 16:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 12:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 10:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
To be honest you have an awful habit of not spacing out your posts.
so, i'll be abstaning from reading them
and you'll get a -2
untill you learn how to double space
because, seriously, what the fuck
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You self-important, anal little pissant. This was beautiful, rock-solid writing, but you -2 on reflex because "OMG IT WOULD TAKE TOO MUCH EFFORT TO ACTUALLY READ!"
Kill yourself, Doodles. It's the only fucking way out.
=================
Doodles, please pay attention to Icky, since you won't listen to me. He is correct, you are a little pile of shit, sucking up to whomever by going with the crowd. You've NEVER had an original thought in your short life, so please shut the screaming FUCK UP!!
PS: abstaning and untill. Get the point, little boy??
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-02-04 15:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is true isn't it?
Its too perfectly written to not be. I know because I write about my life truthfully.
Yes, formatting could be beter but there are some here that format perfectly and can't grab people with what they write..
You grabbed me and I had to read on.
Well done.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-02-04 15:38:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok I read it.
Fantabulous
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-02-04 15:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright Fine. That was pretty good.
Having summarily dicked you for the hideous formatting I looked a the other reviews and decided to give it a shot. I'm guessing it's not a true story since it's a bit of a brick to the forehead in writing as far as getting across a message we've all heard before. Still, I look forward to more.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2009-02-04 15:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
blah blah blah formatting and what everyone else has already said. other than that i liked it
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2009-02-04 15:20:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brev·i·ty
n.
1. The quality or state of being brief in duration.
Irony?
WTFIdidntRAT
for the effort
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-02-04 15:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it.
Submitted by raining_jade (user info) at 2009-02-04 15:03:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a great message, I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-04 14:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'll get scalded for this, but I read it so...
Formatting sucked.
There were little errors that a proper proofreading could have prevented.
Your Spanish isn't conjugated properly or if it is, it is in castillian which a Hispanic wouldn't speak. Local dialect and even country dialects are different forms of Spanish.
It was an overall good read, despite the ending being so incredibly boring and un-epic. I would suggest that after you wrote "I hated niggers" that you wouldn't refer to them as "black people" in regards to heroin. That kind of clashes with your previous statement.
+1 I guess.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-02-04 14:09:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-02-04 04:24:07 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay I've read it again, and I still think it's a good story; but I have one gripe.
THE WORD IS SPELLED LOSE.
"Loose" is free or misplaced. "Lose" is to misplace something, or the opposite of win.
I don't know why this common misspelling bothers me so much; but every time I see it I go fucking ape shit.
===
It's because people like me, who dropped out of high school, still know the fucking difference between the two.
This was not exactly riddled with errors, but the awful formatting mixed with somewhat frequent misspellings and somewhat unrealistic (in my opinion) dialog lowered it to a +1 for me.
Also I remember thinking, "Fuck you and your Conquistador ancestors." at parts.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-02-04 13:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your formatting sucks but this was an otherwise great read.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2009-02-04 12:49:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
didn't read it, looked painful
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-02-04 12:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 - This was amazing.
#2 - Doodles is a bloody cunt rag.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 12:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 10:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
To be honest you have an awful habit of not spacing out your posts.
so, i'll be abstaning from reading them
and you'll get a -2
untill you learn how to double space
because, seriously, what the fuck
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You self-important, anal little pissant. This was beautiful, rock-solid writing, but you -2 on reflex because "OMG IT WOULD TAKE TOO MUCH EFFORT TO ACTUALLY READ!"
Kill yourself, Doodles. It's the only fucking way out.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-04 12:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The way you layer and fuse the internal and external pressures in this story reminds me of the way they work damascus steel. Beautiful writing. I think it's the best serious piece I've seen on this site.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2009-02-04 12:05:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
push the enter button twice and you'll get a +2.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-02-04 12:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very good. clean up the formatting a bit, make it easier to read, etc.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2009-02-04 11:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-02-04 11:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A good story, but FIX YOUR FUCKING FORMATTING. Paragraphs and spacing are your friend. It would have been more enjoyable if it wasn't so damn hard to read.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2009-02-04 11:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this a lot, but some spacing would have been easier on my eyes.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2009-02-04 10:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-02-04 10:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
To be honest you have an awful habit of not spacing out your posts.
so, i'll be abstaning from reading them
and you'll get a -2
untill you learn how to double space
because, seriously, what the fuck
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2009-02-04 09:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-02-04 08:57:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really glad I read this.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2009-02-04 08:44:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-02-04 08:22:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2009-02-04 08:00:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Paragraphs, PLEASE. It's just hard on my old-ass eyes.
Great story.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-02-04 07:24:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay I've read it again, and I still think it's a good story; but I have one gripe.
THE WORD IS SPELLED LOSE.
"Loose" is free or misplaced. "Lose" is to misplace something, or the opposite of win.
I don't know why this common misspelling bothers me so much; but every time I see it I go fucking ape shit. It's probably because I'm neurotic; but if you ever make that mistake again I'll give every single one of your posts negative twos for eternity.
But really, really, great story. And you bucked all uber advice about formatting and spacing. that makes you a maverick.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-02-04 07:03:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
tough read but well worth it.
Submitted by jared.melton (user info) at 2009-02-04 06:47:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-02-04 05:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this, thought it was pretty engaging, if a little long-winded.
The formatting is a problem, and to be honest I'd prefer if uber allowed you to indent paragraphs, rather than taking an extra line. Ho hum.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-02-04 04:50:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the whole thing, and it was awesome.
Formatting sucked balls... but I still made it through.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2009-02-04 04:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was a great read
Submitted by bozznc (user info) at 2009-02-04 04:32:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this on my Blackberry, and the default spacing where the word-wrap didn't transfer spaced it out nicely.
In the whole, a very nice read. My father's story as a 2nd generation Scottish transplant reads similarly. Keep up the good work, your writing flows nicely and I look forward to more.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2009-02-04 04:06:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this is very different to your other posts
grammar, spacing, spell check
hmmmm
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-02-04 03:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just learn to space, makes it easier to read but +2 for the content
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-02-04 01:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alright
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2009-02-04 01:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the story. You're going to be bitched at for not spacing it out, though; white space in between paragraphs makes things on a computer screen easier to read.
See what I mean? The enter key is your friend. Seriously though, if anybody actually reads this whole thing they'll find it's actually quite well constructed.