ADD09 - Just a Glitch (765 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fey (View user info) at 2009-01-30 15:39:17 EST
Maria is a good person.
She is a personable, painstaking and precious person.
Maria is a nice person.
She is a polite, pleasant and pleasing person.
Maria is alone.
Andrew is a sweet person.
He is a kind, caring and capable person.
Andrew is a thoughtful person.
He is a considerate, candid and courageous person.
Andrew is alone.
Scott is a mean person.
He is an arrogant, affected and angry person.
Scott is a nasty person.
He is an avaricious, abominable and awful person.
Scott should be alone.
But Scott has Angela.
Angela is a reasonable person.
She is a bright, beautiful and bound person.
Angela is a hopeless person.
She is a burnt, broken and bleeding person.
User Reviews
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2009-03-17 10:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmm.... nothing real new, hope you see this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/121441#2871200
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2009-03-13 02:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2009-02-04 17:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Way to "rage against the machine" there, Fey.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-02-03 12:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2009-02-03 12:29:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fail.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-02-02 10:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, if I can convince you that I mean absolutely no harm I have an interesting and novel idea to share with you.
sicosemen.at.gmail.com
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2009-02-01 17:54:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do Simon's ratings even count anymore? It would be like allowing those Downs Syndrome folks the vote. Or allowing fungus to drive.
Submitted by hellish (user info) at 2009-02-01 08:21:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by TheGoat (user info) at 2009-01-31 17:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2009-01-31 15:24:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is sage the most stupid person on here?
I mean even more retarded than Simon?
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-01-31 14:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck 'em all
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-31 07:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-31 04:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
do you know this 'scott'
have a lovely weekend
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-31 04:09:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-31 02:23:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hon, I didn't post 'cause thing have been so hectic, but, eh... my forfeit aside, it kinda DID say no poetry.
Forgetting the word count is one thing. That can be waved off, I just wanted it in case there was some dispute over length.
But uh... I dunno about this.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-31 02:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ummm...
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-31 02:05:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Forget that other one, I was drunk of course. Here's John Prine:
My heart's in the ice house come hill or come valley
Like a long ago sunday when I walked through the alley
On a cold winter's morning to a church house
Just to shovel some snow.
I heard sirens on the train track howl naked gettin' nuder,
An altar boy's been hit by a local commuter
Just from walking with his back turned
To the train that was coming so slow.
You can gaze out the window get mad and get madder,
Throw your hands in the air, say "what does it matter? "
But it don't do no good to get angry,
So help me I know
For a heart stained in anger grows weak and grows bitter.
You become your own prisoner as you watch yourself sit there
Wrapped up in a trap of your very own
Chain of sorrow.
I been brought down to zero, pulled out and put back there.
I sat on a park bench, kissed the girl with the black hair
And my head shouted down to my heart
"you better look out below!"
Hey, it ain't such a long drop don't stammer don't stutter
From the diamonds in the sidewalk to the dirt in the gutter
And you carry those bruises to remind you wherever you go.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-31 01:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's not John Prine, by the way. It's some guy who's ancestors came from Scandinavia. I spent a night in Helsinki. Ate at a McDonalds there. It was very nice.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-31 01:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well I woke up Sunday morning,
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert.
Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes,
And found my cleanest dirty shirt.
An' I shaved my face and combed my hair,
An' stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.
I'd smoked my brain the night before,
On cigarettes and songs I'd been pickin'.
But I lit my first and watched a small kid,
Cussin' at a can that he was kicking.
Then I crossed the empty street,
'n caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken.
And it took me back to somethin',
That I'd lost somehow, somewhere along the way.
On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cos there's something in a Sunday,
Makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothin' short of dyin',
That's half as lonesome as the sound,
Of a sleepin' city sidewalk:
Sunday mornin' comin' down.
In the park I saw a daddy,
With a laughin' little girl who he was swingin'.
And I stopped beside a Sunday school,
And listened to the song they were singin'.
Then I headed back for home,
And somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringin'.
And it echoed through the canyons,
Like the disappearing dreams of yesterday.
On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cos there's something in a Sunday,
Makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothin' short of dyin',
Half as lonesome as the sound,
Of a sleepin' city sidewalk:
Sunday mornin' comin' down.
Do do do do do do do do,
Do do do do do do do,
Do do do do do do do do,
Do do do do do do do.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-31 00:42:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Danny is a ...
...
You know what? I was going to do a parody here, but I just don't feel inspired at the moment.
Quite honestly, I don't care for the poem, but there are only 3 or 4 poems in the world I like, unless you count song lyrics, which are poems, I guess. Favorite song lyrics: ...
Damn. I need to have a few more. I know there's somebody. Some John Prine song maybe. Let me look. I'll get back with you.
+1 for whatever. You're good people, I guess. That should be worth a point. I don't know. I ate some bad chili, and it's going to take I'm going to shut up.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-01-30 21:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gutless +1 giving asslick, below. . .
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-01-30 20:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pedo alert!, below.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-01-30 20:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:56:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO WORD COUNT -2!
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-30 13:31:52 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
A) I did rate this how I wanted.
B) The post would have probably deserved a +2 if it weren't for the broken rules (although I really didn't read it so I don't really know), and if so, I would have rated accordingly.
===
Okay...but you still haven't given any reason for claiming that not -2ing shows you are a happy person. I try (unsuccessfully it seems) not to read too much into uber comments but it feels like you say shit like this somewhat regularly. You're not the first person to suggest it, nor is this the first time I've said something along the lines of, "Wha'?" in response to it...I just want someone to explain this "Ratings given are an accurate measurement of that person's level of happiness" theory without looking like a complete retard.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:48:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is to make up for the dipshit duo, Scatman and Horsejaw
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:35:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this +2 is because you're Fey.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this +2 is because i liked it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:34:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this +2 is for breaking the rules.
rules are for people scared of making their own decisions.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:31:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but I am also not going to -2 you either, because fuck that. I'm a happy person and I generally like and get along with everyone.
=====
Dude, an intangible rating on the internet will not help you form an accurate judgment of someone's level of happiness. Rate these things however the fuck you want, Jeebus
*******************
A) I did rate this how I wanted.
B) The post would have probably deserved a +2 if it weren't for the broken rules (although I really didn't read it so I don't really know), and if so, I would have rated accordingly.
--------------------------
Fuck, you are a braindead cumcart. Ratings are meaningless to start, and then you go on these long tirades defending why you rated something using the most retarded criteria. "OMG, this was a +2, but you forgot a word count!!! 1!11 I have to TAKE off points like it's a kindergarten assignment since oyu didn't follow RULES!!elevenetyONE!1"
STFU, you vapid cunt.
**************************
Opinions are like assholes, Goatse.
Oh, try calling me vacuous next time. It's my new favorite word, and it's way better (and less tired and overused) than vapid.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-30 13:16:56 PST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't want to sound like a fag that looks at dudes' crotches, but he was totally pitching a tent.
===
One of my professors this quarter is an odd, tiny, 62 year old man. I like him very much, but I resent him for his giant penis. Not because of penis envy, but because I sit in the front of the class and no matter how baggy his pants are he has an enormous bulge...it's distracting to say the least.
I guess it could be his prostate, but there's really no saving grace there...
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:26:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but I am also not going to -2 you either, because fuck that. I'm a happy person and I generally like and get along with everyone.
=====
Dude, an intangible rating on the internet will not help you form an accurate judgment of someone's level of happiness. Rate these things however the fuck you want, Jeebus
*******************
A) I did rate this how I wanted.
B) The post would have probably deserved a +2 if it weren't for the broken rules (although I really didn't read it so I don't really know), and if so, I would have rated accordingly.
--------------------------
Fuck, you are a braindead cumcart. Ratings are meaningless to start, and then you go on these long tirades defending why you rated something using the most retarded criteria. "OMG, this was a +2, but you forgot a word count!!! 1!11 I have to TAKE off points like it's a kindergarten assignment since oyu didn't follow RULES!!elevenetyONE!1"
STFU, you vapid cunt.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but I am also not going to -2 you either, because fuck that. I'm a happy person and I generally like and get along with everyone.
=====
Dude, an intangible rating on the internet will not help you form an accurate judgment of someone's level of happiness. Rate these things however the fuck you want, Jeebus
*******************
A) I did rate this how I wanted.
B) The post would have probably deserved a +2 if it weren't for the broken rules (although I really didn't read it so I don't really know), and if so, I would have rated accordingly.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-30 11:05:36 PST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/120927#2854176
Lies. You like me.
=====
I just saw this.
I'm going to debate the issue in my head for the next hour or so and get back to you.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:24:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Progress, sico, that you're admitting you might not be best. Yes, I cried. And you denied it all, blue in the face, bemoaning the fact that you always get blamed for things that aren't you because of your undeserved reputation as a bad guy.
Hm.
How about that? No matter what my personal low might be, you're still below me. YAY.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:23:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. At least it was short. And no one cares about rules on some gay fucking internet contest.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:17:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Deborah was a Catholic girl,
she held out to the bitter end.
Carla was a different type,
she's the one who put it in.
Mary was a black girl,
and I was afraid of a girl like that.
Susan painted pictures sitting down
like the Buddhists sat.
Reno was an aimless girl,
a geographic memory.
Cathy was a Jesus-freak,
she liked that kind of misery.
Vicky had this special way
of turning sex into a song.
Camella couldn't sing,
kept the beat and kept it strong.
Xylla was an archetype,
the voodoo queen the queen of rap.
Joan thought men were second best
to masturbating in the bath.
Sherri was a feminist,
she really had that gift of gab.
Kathleen's point of view was this:
take whatever you can grab.
Seattle was another girl
who left her mark upon the map.
Karen liked to tie me up,
and left me hanging by a strap.
Jeannie had this nightclub walk
that made grown men feel underage.
Mary Ellen who had a son
said "I must go," but finally stayed.
Gloria the last taboo
was shattered by her tongue one night.
Mimi brought the taboo back
and held it up before the light.
Marilyn who knew no shame,
was never ever satisfied.
Julie came and went so fast,
she didn't even say good-bye.
Well Rhonda had a house in Venice,
lived on brown rice and cocaine.
Patty had a house in Houston,
shot cough syrup in her veins.
Linda thought her life was empty,
filled it up with alcohol.
Katherine was much too pretty,
she didn't do that shit at all.
Uh-uh. Not Katherine.
Pauline thought that love was simple,
turn it on and turn it off.
Jean-Marie was complicated,
like some French film-maker's plot.
Gina was the perfect lady,
always kept her stockings straight.
Jackie was a rich punk-rocker,
silver spoon and a paper plate.
Sarah was a modern dancer,
lean pristine transparency.
Janet wrote bad poetry
in a crazy kind of urgency.
Tanya Turkish liked to fuck
while wearing leather biker boots.
Brenda's strange obsession
was for certain vegetables and fruits.
Roeena was an artist's daughter,
the deeper image shook her up.
Dee-dee's mother left her father,
took his money and his truck.
Debbie-Rae had no such problems,
perfect Norman Rockwell home.
Nina sixteen had a baby,
left her parents lived alone.
Bobbie joined a new-wave band,
and changed her name to Bobbie-sox.
Eloise who played guitar,
sang songs about whales and cops.
Terri didn't give a shit,
just a nihilist.
Ronnie was much more my style,
she wrote songs just like this.
Jezebel went forty days
drinking nothing but Perrier.
Dinah drove her Chevrolet
into the San Francisco bay.
Judy came from Ohio,
she's a Scientologist.
Pomerante here's a kiss,
I chose you to end this list.
Eighty-eight lines about forty-four women.
-The Nails
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
speaking of boners....
at the last bar i hit last night, there were two ridiculously hot bartender chicks. i mean sexy as all fuck. there was one male bartender working also. i don't want to sound like a fag that looks at dudes' crotches, but he was totally pitching a tent. a really, really obvious one. it was kind of uncomfortable for me asking him for another drink... i'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and say it was from the two hot chicks bartending with him.
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but I am also not going to -2 you either, because fuck that. I'm a happy person and I generally like and get along with everyone.
=====
Dude, an intangible rating on the internet will not help you form an accurate judgment of someone's level of happiness. Rate these things however the fuck you want, Jeebus.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:13:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
also, we know that I don't really get "boners" with a tool this small.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:12:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You fucking double rule breaking bitch. I was going to -2 no matter how good your submission was because like a man I can admit that you are an immensely greater writer than I am but like a kid I love to see you squirm at losing an internet contest.
Do you remember the last contest I ruined for you and how badly you cried?
Wasn't that fun?
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Also, wasn't "no poetry" among the rules?
You and I have a rather complicated series of interactions, Fey. I'm not going to give you any points on the basis that you broke the rules via word count and type of submission, but I am also not going to -2 you either, because fuck that. I'm a happy person and I generally like and get along with everyone.
Have a nice day!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhaaha!
Sico, my dearest retard, how much of a boner did you get over the "legitimate" cause to -2 me?
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Can't you even follow rules?
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-30 16:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 no word count.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-30 15:55:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this describes so many people i know.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2009-01-30 15:44:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Damn me. 118 words.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-01-30 15:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
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