ADD09 - Bugs for Breakfast (618 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.94 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Fey (View user info) at 2009-01-19 14:32:02 EST
She waited, placidly, for my response. Obviously, she'd imparted all the information she was planning to, and now the matter rested with me. She either didn't see or didn't care about the blank look scrawled across my face, didn't appear to grasp the totality of my incomprehension...
Nah, too pretentious. "...the totality of my incomprehension"? Pfft. And anyway, he'd always sucked at writing like a chick. The fan droned in the background as Andrew leaned back in his chair, hating the high summer heat. The willing but decrepit ergonomical backrest creaked slightly as it bent over backwards for him. He hooked his thumbs into the elastic waistband of his sweatpants and stretched, airing his musty groin, releasing his pants with a weak "thwup" of tired elastic. He scratched at his scalp, causing drifts of dandruff to float peacefully down to their final resting place on his desk and floor.
Andrew leaned forward, struggling to focus sleep deprived bleariness at the screen. A confused blowfly, groggy, buzzed briefly around his face. Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, oh shit, undo, undo, undo. The coffee in his cup, ignored for the better part of the last two hours, made a pilgrimage to his mouth and ended up sprayed across his lap and keyboard, fuck cold coffee. He lit a smoke but couldn't be arsed holding it, so he left it in the corner of his mouth, screwing his face up and squinting with one eye to avoid the curling blue smoke.
He reached out an absent hand towards yesterday's bowl of muesli, pulled it to him and ladled a spoonful of muesli, day old milk and weevils into his mouth.
Now, back to the bestseller... I can always self-publish...
Word count: 288
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NO JOHN MOZELIAK = AUTO -2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-23 18:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/u/kaos-king/l/add09
Submitted by OscarZAcosta (user info) at 2009-01-23 06:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Mr_Trollope (user info) at 2009-01-22 10:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Disgusting
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2009-01-22 01:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by audie_murphy (user info) at 2009-01-21 06:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cliched, gay and pansy. plus two.
Submitted by StarBelliedSneetch (user info) at 2009-01-20 22:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Good, but cliche.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-01-20 14:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ewwww
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2009-01-20 13:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<3
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-20 11:25:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've not washed my my only pair of denims since last March.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-20 04:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2009-01-19 19:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kinda made me throw up in my mouth a little.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-19 18:29:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-19 16:58:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting imagery.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-19 16:52:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hang on, im against you. Hmmmmmm.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-19 16:49:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhh this is really good. Love the images it conjures in my mind.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-19 16:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, my groin isn't musty. If I had to assign a word to it I might use "Aromatic".
If fact I may even go so far as to say it has a certain je ne sais quoi.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-19 15:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Replace the dandruff with pure bolivian flake and the cold coffee with rotgut battery acid moonshine and you could be looking at my life!
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-19 14:41:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If I try to lose this competition for you will you promise to fly off the handle like last time?
Only after you answer that will I give my honest reaction to this piece. Or I won't. Who cares? Do you care?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2009-01-19 14:38:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Imagery. Well done.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2009-01-19 14:37:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Replace the dandruff with flakes of pure gold and the cold coffee with champagne and you could be looking at my life!