Your First Kiss...and Mine (4514 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.32 on 115 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by experima (View user info) at 2009-01-06 02:18:00 EST
I wrote the other day about my experiences with kissing at a Christian school. It got me thinking: What were your first kisses? And where/under what circumstances?
The kiss I had in my last post was not my first. My first kiss came the summer before I went to that school. I was 13 or 14 (har har, you say, but in my life, kissing, much less sex, was very frowned upon.)
I went to the Christian camp for two weeks that my future school put on. I fell completely and madly in love with a kid called Steven from Mississippi, whose parents also sent him to Bible camp to forge an unbreakable bond with the Lord. Kids came from all over the world for this camp, as it was a prelude to their 'missionary kids' entry to the boarding school.
Well, Steven and I had 'activities' together, like Bible study, and white-water rafting. He was by all accounts a player, and I was entranced. He was 14, tall, dark hair, green eyes, and a major flirt by any current standards.
The last day of camp, there was a bonfire. Not a fun bonfire, but the protestant version of a confessional. We were all to sit around the fire, get spiritually moved, and tell our darkest secrets and biggest fears to God whilst sitting on logs under trees.
Steven and I sat in the back row, and under cover of darkness, while most of the camp-goers were crying and admitting sins and confessing suicide attempts (one of which I thwarted, unbeknownst to me) he stuck his tongue in my mouth.
I'd only ever seen kissing on television, which my parents strictly monitored. I'd seen a soap opera, I think it was "Days of our Lives" or "Guiding Light" while I was sick at home once. I noticed that they opened their mouths and moved their tongues around a lot.
So when Steven came at me, I opened my mouth and moved my tongue around a lot.
Success!
I was in LOVE. I wrote tons of letters to him after camp, and he wrote back to me. He said, "I love you real bad!" I only later understood the grammar ramifications therein.
For a while, I even saved the lipstick that I wore (it was lavender, and very soft) that I kissed him with. I thought I'd wear it the next time we kissed.
The next year, I went to camp again, and there he was. My first love. But, player that he was, his love meant nothing and he kissed someone else. Heartbreak! I'm sure I'm not the only one here who's had their heart broken by their first love and first kiss. Seeing him with someone else really blew.
I nursed my hurt for a couple years. Somehow, it's harder to get over a fantasy when you don't see them ever again. He was so hot and sexy in my memory.
What's funny is when you connect with them on the internet years later, and find out they're in a Christian church-sponsored weight-loss program that features photos of them 100 lbs overweight, praying for strength to lose it.
So, ubers: who was your first kiss, how did it go down, where was it, and what happened to the person? Do you still love them? Carry a torch? Did you marry them? Or are you well rid of them?
User Reviews
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2009-02-02 17:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was 15, on a bus stuck in traffic in the lincoln tunnel, New York City.
We dated for two years, and she left me for someone else.
I'm still so in love with her.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2009-01-10 21:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was on the bus in 5th grade, playing truth or dare.
the girl said I had terrible breath (I had garlic/spinach omelet for breakfast)
it scarred me for life
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-01-09 03:05:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i totally had neon green ones on my nikes with the flashing red lights in the heels.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-09 02:50:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahhahaha curly shoestrings? that's awesome. i used neon ones but ONLY if the black light was on at the skating rink.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-01-09 02:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was born in the mid-80's. our social phenomenon was curly shoestrings.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-09 02:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the jams?
does anyone even remember the phenomena that was "jams"?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-01-09 02:23:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i did not mention this earlier because i was consumed with my own drama but those shorts are TO DIE FOR
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-09 02:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
whatever experiment. I have to go before bart sees me.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-09 02:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
they did
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-09 01:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh.......i thought you were just the girl that fetched diet cokes and stuff for the models......
how come they didn't use real models?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-09 00:49:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
for a certain photo shoot.
if you're unwilling to change your hairstyle sometimes you're not hired.
also, if they think you have "a look" they make you do things to yourself to support that look, whether you protest about your long hair you've had from birth or not.
i thought everyone knew that by now.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-09 00:44:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes but why did you need a haircut, and not just the models?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-09 00:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the agency i was with sent me to BH to have it done for a shoot.
jose eber.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-09 00:00:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
blinks. but why did the models need you to have your hair cut?
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-08 23:35:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, like i said that was in my punk-ish days. it was calmed down a bit for this picture.
i was quite proud of those shorts. they were called "Jams" and i was the only one in the photo that had authentic ones.
my hair was later cut short again for a modelling job. it looked much better trust me.
i prefer it long.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2009-01-08 20:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
See, now here. Your hair in this picture. You'd be fine around most any type of rotating machinery.
Not that I'd recommend hair that short. I prefer a bit longer myself, but that's only a personal preference that in no way takes safety into consideration.
That outfit, however, would allow you to go running at night and remain quite visible to any oncoming automobiles.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-08 15:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh....then....i'm glad.
:)
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-01-08 15:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what, that we broke up? i dont really care, i was looking for a reason to do it lately and it's just a fitting end.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-08 15:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, no. i'm sorry to hear that :(
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2009-01-08 15:10:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My first kiss was when I was 18. I made a bet with a female friend of mine who was a Bears fan that if the Packers made it to the super bowl, she'd buy me dinner, and if they didn't i'd buy her dinner. I know it was stupid. But in the NFC conference championship game the against donovan mcnabb and the eagles... 4th and 36 happened. Worst memory of my life.
Anyway, the kiss. We went to subway for that dinner and afterward we hung out together at her house. When we got to her couch she immediately jumped on top of me and the making out commenced. She told me I wasn't very good so we worked together to make me a better kisser. I remember three things very clearly. 1) It was incredibly boring. 2) I bought a new Axe deodorant that day (Tsunami) and it smelled like lemonheads. Everytime I smell that deodorant I think about that night...it's the strongest link I have between any particular smells and memories. 3) I tried to rip her tits off. While she was teaching me to kiss, she told me I had to move my hands around more, and then she placed them on her tits. I squeezed so hard she had to stop and tell me "these are mine, you cant have them."
Anyway she was my first girlfriend, only for a few weeks. I eventually got mono from her which she got from a different guy and it seriously fucked up my senior year swim season.
I wrote an email on the school email system to two of my friends in which I listed in detail the reasons I wouldn't be talking to her anymore. They forwarded to a bunch of people, and they forwarded, and within a week the entire senior class had read my rant calling her a cheap slut and whatever, I cant remember now what I wrote. But I got called in to the dean's office for inappropriately using the system, but I got in no trouble and in fact the dean told me it was the best rant she'd ever read.
I've met her a few times since then because we have a few mutual friends, and for some reason she still thinks I am in love with her or something. Really it's the opposite, I find her repulsive.
Yesterday morning I broke up with my most recent girlfriend after she got mono from her ex. Life goes on.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-01-08 07:44:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't blink at me poodle lover. I know your game.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-08 07:29:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
<blinks>
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-01-08 07:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh that was you? Yeah, I hated you and your stupid poodle. Rot in hell, you and your dog. No self respecting teenage boy should be seen with a poodle.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-08 07:22:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i realise that it was possibly wrong now, or at least later I will realise it. who am I kidding, HI FIVE
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-08 07:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-01-08 07:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha, I was sent to Bible camp myself a couple of times.
My first kiss, the boy came up, knocked me on the ground, and stole it. Then he went and gave the teenage boy from up the road a high five.
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ima sorry. that i let him high five me - your dad.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2009-01-08 07:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha, I was sent to Bible camp myself a couple of times.
My first kiss, the boy came up, knocked me on the ground, and stole it. Then he went and gave the teenage boy from up the road a high five.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2009-01-08 05:52:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My first kiss was when I was seven and it was with a somalian guy called Pascal. I went home and told my mum that we were gettin married.
My first proper kiss, by proper, i mean tongues. I was eleven. I did it along with 2 of my best mates and thier guys. We timed each kiss. My guys name was Darth. How awesome is that.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-01-07 16:09:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I sound like an immigrant below.
SENDING
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2009-01-07 16:00:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2009-01-07 15:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2009-01-06 20:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This reminds me of something I'd post.
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I hate you for never send me Leg, Tigerlilly.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2009-01-07 15:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2009-01-06 20:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This reminds me of something I'd post.
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I hate you Tigerlilly.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2009-01-07 15:22:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My first kiss was your mom.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2009-01-07 15:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've never written about my 1st kiss.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2009-01-07 08:43:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-07 08:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-07 06:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
then her other friend tried to commit suicide by jumping from a high place and i ended up stopping her from doing it by accident. i banged that chick the next day. that's actually an interesting story and makes me look like a terrible person, unless you have a sick sense of humor like me. maybe i'll tell it sometime
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Yeah, let's do that shall we. Chop chop, clock's ticking.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2009-01-07 06:30:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was about 13 or 14. a new girl moved into the neighborhood and she liked me but i wasn't so sure about her. i went to her birthday party and remember her parents scared the fuck out of me. we ended up walking down to the tree-covered dock and sitting by the lake behind her house and we kissed. the first few kisses were kinda sloppy, but we started getting better at it.
a few weeks later, her best friend gave me a handjob while we were sitting in the bleachers at school during a game. it was awesome. then her other friend tried to commit suicide by jumping from a high place and i ended up stopping her from doing it by accident. i banged that chick the next day. that's actually an interesting story and makes me look like a terrible person, unless you have a sick sense of humor like me. maybe i'll tell it sometime.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-07 04:35:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit man though, your cousin? That is like watching a scary film as a child, asking your parents if you can sleep with them and then having an erection and then touching your fathers unconsious erection with your own. Fucked up man, fucked up.
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berty has always been better than all of the rest of you. it's fucking true and to deny it is to lie.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-01-07 04:06:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 13:31:40 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am still horrified yet intruiged by the notion of a bunch of kids going to a 'camp' together where there is an actual designated "kissing tent". I will say it is terrible and immoral but to be honest I can only wish that my childhood was so sexually liberated.
Although, saying that, it kind of sounds like the kissing tent was some kind of twisted altar of shame which members of the group would be sacrificed too. That is kind of intruiging too though.
----
Some kind of response warranted here seeing you're so intrigued.
Yeah, a kissing tent. Everybody always ended up in there because it was the biggest tent and home to the camp jack the lads who also happened to have a grotesque amount of weed with them. Where you get a gathering of teenage girls and boys pretty much unsupervised, kissing ensues. I said 'kissing tent' which was far more polite than the name the boys gave it which was the 'shagging tent'.
That weeks camp was total debauchery for kids. As soon as the adults went to sleep or were rolling around pissed (whichever came first), we would all go wanders and come morning not wake in the place we had gone to bed.
Definitely not bible camp and thinking about it, this camp probably deserves a post of its own.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-07 00:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ps: berty.....oh, berty.
:)
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-07 00:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2009-01-06 17:58:05 PST (#)
Ranking: -2
This reminds me of something I'd post.
---------
ORLY?
link to your first kiss post!
<3
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2009-01-06 22:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-01-06 19:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit man though, your cousin? That is like watching a scary film as a child, asking your parents if you can sleep with them and then having an erection and then touching your fathers unconsious erection with your own. Fucked up man, fucked up.
_
This is the best thing that has been written on this site since 2006
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Without a doubt.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2009-01-06 20:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This reminds me of something I'd post.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2009-01-06 19:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit man though, your cousin? That is like watching a scary film as a child, asking your parents if you can sleep with them and then having an erection and then touching your fathers unconsious erection with your own. Fucked up man, fucked up.
_
This is the best thing that has been written on this site since 2006
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2009-01-06 18:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2:
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit man though, your cousin? That is like watching a scary film as a child, asking your parents if you can sleep with them and then having an erection and then touching your fathers unconsious erection with your own. Fucked up man, fucked up.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2009-01-06 18:37:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-06 15:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 09:06:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't actually have a vagina, but thanks - i think.
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-06 09:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to be the first one to kiss your vagina, if possible. Call me...you have my digits.
Not YOU, you fucking idiot...The chick who posted this.
Good grief...tards abound.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-06 15:12:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, but to answer the question, my first kiss was from a red-headed preacher's daughter, in the back seat of her friend's car, while they smoked pot in front as we drove down the road on our lunchbreak from Wally-world.
I was trying to be "cool," and was commenting on how hot this other girl was that we drove past, and she laid me out flat when my head turned round. Lasted probably....5 minutes, lots of tongue, and wasn't bad for a first kiss.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-06 14:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i was going through my 'skate rat' phase. my hair soon grew out, as you can see from the next year's photo in my previous post. i promptly stopped wearing those shorts, as well.
i didn't like neon unless it was worn to the skating rink for the black lights.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2009-01-06 14:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That is just 80's awesome. I bet you were the queen of neon everything back then.
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2009-01-06 13:59:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My first kiss was a sloppy wet kiss to some girls crotch in preschool when I tried to reenact a scene on the television that mommy said "was not for little boys." Of course I had no idea what I was doing but the return kiss on my tip was welcomed.
And yes, it was under a Fisher Price picnic table.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-06 13:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does the blonde have a heart on her left nipple?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-06 13:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does the blonde have a heart on her left nipple?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2009-01-06 13:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why does the blonde have a heart on her left nipple?
Submitted by DietCoke (user info) at 2009-01-06 11:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My first kiss was a $2.50 crack whore with an open cold sore on her upper lip. It lasted 5 seconds and there was a little tongue involved.
It was a $50.00 bet. I won. I spent thousands in therapy, and hundreds on antipiotics. But it was worth it.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2009-01-06 11:43:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It must have been a bummer to have gone to seed so quickly after this picture was taken.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2009-01-06 11:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your childhood sounds very strange, I'm glad my dad didn't force any religion on me.
So, first kiss... happened in my bed room at my parents house, we were watching a movie about some dysfunctional teen aged girl, it was also the day I first saw tits.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2009-01-06 10:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
can't honestly remember it.
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2009-01-06 09:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember kissing a dude in preschool named Chris after we went down the slip and slide.
I guess I was ancient when I got my first "real" kiss...I was 16 and his name was Luke; he was 16 also. We were at his parents' house. I ate some snacks while he finished up his chores and then we watched TV and we kissed.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2009-01-06 09:11:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
emily? I sucked, sorry.
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Change the name as needed and you have an apology you've made many times but not recently, eh d_r?
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 09:06:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't actually have a vagina, but thanks - i think.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2009-01-06 09:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd like to be the first one to kiss your vagina, if possible. Call me...you have my digits.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Her name was Lisa. She had the last name of a prominent Nazi and a slight mustache.
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so you smooched valerie too?
[varsity team, and some hookers]: "wait."
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Her name was Lisa. She had the last name of a prominent Nazi and a slight mustache.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:47:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My first close encounter was with Monique. Just because she hated...Monique (another one)
I had no idea what this kissing thing was all about. I liked the attention.
Both dissappeared after i met,(don't laugh), Monique. (again, another one)
By now, my women-spectrum has extended all across the alphabet.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nevermind, just remember I'm an arse. I wish, I could be a twat but unfortunately I'm an arse.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:31:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am still horrified yet intruiged by the notion of a bunch of kids going to a 'camp' together where there is an actual designated "kissing tent". I will say it is terrible and immoral but to be honest I can only wish that my childhood was so sexually liberated.
Although, saying that, it kind of sounds like the kissing tent was some kind of twisted altar of shame which members of the group would be sacrificed too. That is kind of intruiging too though.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:29:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What?
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
emily? I sucked, sorry.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
jeanneee did you mistake oath for josh holm? sorry my bad. And faggirl, go readdress your burn, I totallly own3d androg..and....an...asexualess girl with my pointedly disparaging remark about her being....stupid.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
8th grade, with Chris Elliott. Not the actor. Just some tool who was in high school and smoked pot so I thought he was cool and sexy. We were at the movies - that one with Kevin Kline as the president's body double... can't remember what it was called. Anyway. Yeah.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:14:47 CST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he was a nice boy, and hot for being 10.
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*sticks fingers down throat*
===
I was about his age. The difference between you and me is that I no longer kiss 10 year old boys.
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Now there's a burn.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
forgive me whorticia, I got all gah and giddy-grossed out thinking you may have been the girl in my tent, for a second, but then that would've been like assuming I'd kissed brian molko or herman munster.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he was a nice boy, and hot for being 10.
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*sticks fingers down throat*
===
I was about his age. The difference between you and me is that I no longer kiss 10 year old boys.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:11:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was entertaining and it generated this:
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit man though, your cousin? That is like watching a scary film as a child, asking your parents if you can sleep with them and then having an erection and then touching your fathers unconsious erection with your own. Fucked up man, fucked up.
thus, making it GOLD. That made me laugh hard enough to cry. Best simile I've come across in quite some time.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 08:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
he was a nice boy, and hot for being 10.
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*sticks fingers down throat*
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
First real kiss- age 11ish. In a VW microbus, playing truth or dare with a boy I met at my friend's Christian youth group. No idea what ever happened to him, but he was a nice boy, and hot for being 10.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:55:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*throat
shit, it still doesn't look right, dumb word throat. Anyway I have to go press some shirts.
Submitted by Vas_Deferens (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:54:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
in a tent. she kissed me goodnight on the forehead, I was like ten or something, and then I pashed her good.
Later, in court, the judge leaned over his judge desk as I sat nevously in the dock, "So let me get this right, you took a soft kiss on the forehead as an invitation to stick your tongue down her troat."
"no?"
"DID YOU OR DIDN'T YOU"
"ima plead the first, the first amendment."
counsel for me - standing: "your honour?"
Judge - glaring at him: "WHAT HAVE YOU CAUGHT COLONIAL"
me: "the second? I plead the second amendment?"
Judge: "YOU BEARED YOUR ARMS!??!"
counsel for me: "your honor, grammar.."
Judge: "IN CAMERA - NOW!"
me: <taps pockets>
counsel for me: [whispers - looking aggitated] "just stay the fuck here, and shut the fuck up."
"i have an itchy bottom. and I only kissed her because we were in a tent, miles from anywhere without witnesses."
counsel: [covering mic] "shut, the, fuck, up."
me: [removing hand from mic] "she only said no twice you know, why does the judge want a camera?"
counsel: "SHUT, THE FUCK, UP!"
"you know what? you're pretty rude. I'm on trial for tongue pashing, and you're swearing like a sailor."
counsel: "JESUS, PLEASE, JUST SHU.."
And that's when I kissed him, which was my second kiss.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:43:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Kissing Tent"?
WTF?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was when I was 10 or 11 and during a family skiing holiday in Aspen Colorado.
I can't remember the boys name, I just remember he was cute and 13.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. That's incest. I mean, it was all the rage during the classical era but DAMN.
I mean, I guess, well, you were all like "we like each other, what's the problem?" and I suppose for weird kinky group sex you've already thrown out most of the sensibilities so, you know, what the fuck right?
Shit man though, your cousin? That is like watching a scary film as a child, asking your parents if you can sleep with them and then having an erection and then touching your fathers unconsious erection with your own. Fucked up man, fucked up.
Still appreciate the trust and the sharing and everything.
Submitted by Banjo (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
First kiss...
I was on camp on a really hilly island called Hoy up in Orkney. His name was Roy, he was gorgeous and I was 14. I was told Roy wanted to meet me in the kissing tent, which was big space ship tent right in the middle of the campsite. I've never been so nervous, butterflies galore. So i turned up all toothy smiles followed shortly after by Roy. The tent was seales and we were left to it. It was probably the most aukward moments of my life. We kissed for about a minute and then we both left the tent all smiles and embarassment. We were both too nervous to talk again after that. Everybody was talking about it and making fun afterwards and I was too red faced to even look at him without bursting into little girl giggles. I always liked Roy though but nothing else ever happened after that. Needless to say, the kissing tent was used by others many more times that week.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
blonde hair yellow shirt gre up to be a whore.
i know this for fact
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh well, it was this time of year in 1983. We kissed and kissed and kissed.
It lasted 3 months, our kisses.
Then she started kissing my best friend.
He told me that I had knocked her up... after she had the abortion.
She had her first kid with another friend of mine not 1 year later.
3 years and one more kid later he lost a game of Russian Roulette.
Her name was Jan.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
It's all true, I mean not everything everywhere but everything that I said there.
No shame in my game.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:23:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know the internet is a toy but... well... I dunno muddy. I could see that being true.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2009-01-06 07:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My first kiss, with any sort of sexual intent, came from one of two of my cousins although I'm not sure which one and I was probably 10-11. Myself and the 2 of them used to do a lot of messing around....kissing, petting and eventually sex (it was with one of them when I learned that feeling was not me "peeing" inside her). Yes they were blood and yes it continued well into our teenage years.
Now they both have a bunch of black babies, have lost teeth to crack use...spent time in jail, etc. I guess you could say I turned them out.
true story.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2009-01-06 06:36:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My first kiss was when I was 17 with Lady Diana when she visited my cripple ward. She was rubbish, missed my mouth completely. She also refused to give me a handjob despite the fact that I told her that she had a tidy arse.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-01-06 06:20:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yes, and I must thank you experima because thinking and writing all that took the will out of me to keep writing what I was writing before I read your post. Baby woke me up about 2 hours ago and I was having a hard time sleeping. I sleep now.
Submitted by NintendoCzar (user info) at 2009-01-06 06:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hm, I had to think about this one. I grew up going to a Lutheran private school, where you basically got a public school "lite" that taught religion, made you go to church every Wednesday morning, and turned the other cheek unless something really terrible happen. My first kiss came when I was in the 6th grade. Because the school was small, the 5th and 6th graders were one class, but taught a different curriculum each. I don't know how it worked but it worked. We were considered "one class", and the school board never said anything so there. ANYWAY....
So one day our school decided to have a "Free day" and our teacher, who was also the principal at the time, took us to see a movie and write down what we learned from it. We all had to sit together but my best friend at the time and I managed to sit further away from the rest of the class, near these two girls we liked. During the movie, the girl he liked began to make out with him, and I just smiled, trying not to giggle. The girl that liked me turned and asked me if I wanted to do the same, and I told her I had never kissed. She was amazed by this, and walked me through it, slowly, telling me what worked and what didn't. I got it down eventually and I'm not sure how no one noticed the two nerdy kids sitting there kissing the 5th grade girls, but I didn't think about it too much. After a good while we stopped and finished watching the movie. On the way out I felt my pants being tighter than they were before, and I felt like everyone could see the boner that had been created by my first make out session.
The next week I asked the girl to by my girlfriend, and she said yes. By 2:00 pm that day I saw her crying and asked her why, and her friends informed me that she didn't want to be my girlfriend. I laughed and told her it was okay and that I didn't care that much. Inside though I felt very very ugly that day, lol.
So that was my first kiss and I didn't get my next good makeout kiss until I met this girl online when I was 15. She was one ugly girl when I met her at the mall, and when I attempted to leave she stuck her tongue down my throat and I had no choice but to stay, if only to get a few more practice swings. Anyway I'm sure I had more but that's all the ones that stick out.
(Fun fact: the last principal the school had, who was simultaneously the science math and everything except P.E. and History teacher, was found guilty of child molestation. He would always take a group of kids to the movies and I hated it because I always felt out of place. Now I'm just glad he wasn't my first kiss).
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT. Yeah just go -2 one of my posts if this is too long, spare the beautiful and obviously kissable experima.
Submitted by jared.melton (user info) at 2009-01-06 04:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, that Seinfeld episode kicked ass.
Submitted by jared.melton (user info) at 2009-01-06 04:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I was like...4 years old?
I never really stopped kissing girls, though. Pretty steady since then.
I did make out with a girl pretty regular when I was 5 or 6 or so that explained to me that having sex was the guy taking his shirt off and the guy and girl making out underneath the covers with their feet sticking out over the side of the bed. What a liar she turned out to be!
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2009-01-06 04:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
You are like that Seinfeld episode where Elaine's boyfriend Puddy started wearing a fur coat, and she didn't like it so she threw it out the window, and Newman found it and gave it to the super's wife, but when her husband saw it he got suspicious, so Jerry had to pretend it was his man-fur, and when the super saw him wearing it he laughed and made fun of him, saying "Me, me, me! Want me, love me! Shower me with kisses!"
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2009-01-06 04:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have already recorded the horrors of my first kiss here http://www.ubersite.com/m/118065
It really wasn't terribly nice at all. The girl became nicknamed 'the wet cycle' because of her salivating technique. I saw her recently, she looked nice, and I said hello but not much else.
On another note...I gave some girl oral sex and she must have forgotten how to shave or wax. I kept on expecting to find wildlife living in there. And in terms of access, it was particularly difficult. Anyone who's ever lost a golf ball in long, thick rough will understand.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2009-01-06 04:10:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here in Phoenix, it has been getting down to a brisk 65 degrees f.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2009-01-06 04:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You look a bit like Zack Morris Experima. What's up with that?
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your air is what
cue in mother fucker
i gotta walk ta work in the morn
so fuck -7
it might be 12
but i gotta walk 7 miles in it
plus wind
fuck you britt
i dunt wanna hear about cold
sorry
i digress
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes its 8:33 in the morning and im at work, us Brits are plucky ole sorts, especially when it was
-7 last night :(
cue some smartass to say how cold it is where they are
OUR AIR IS COLDER!!
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:31:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you had sex with your first kiss?
---
well not technically my first but yeah
the first i remembered i layed with
not my fault
she showed me the ropes
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:29:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahahaha
i love crystle.
i'm posting at midnight because i'm working past midnight on an "urgent preso"
also i love the brits and they're just up
hi, EI!
i think i'm going to go to bed now though.
happy kissing memories, everybody. x
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How come people don't dress like they did in the 80's anymore?
I mean, I still do, but that's becuase jeans and Iron Maiden shirts never went out of style.
My first kiss, wow, that was like 30 years ago...kindergarden, her name was Dawn. My first real kiss was some time later, seventh grade I think, can't even begin to think of what her name was.
But I will say, the first kiss with a new girl is still exciting
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:19:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG YOU ARE STILL GETTING YOUNGER IN EVERY FREAKING PICTURE YOU POST>
BENJAMINA BUTTON MUCH?
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, +2 for the memory.
Submitted by TheBrad (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She was a redhead named jessica. I kissed her while her dad was buying a tractor from my grandpa.
She ended up weighing 350 lbs with no kids. Still, she was 9 year old hot. Bubba understands.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:09:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm i think i was 15 nearly 16, thats old, im a gay, gay virgin :(
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-01-06 03:08:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You really shouldnt post at midnight if you're trying to poll people
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:55:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you had sex with your first kiss?
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:53:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
first kiss
some chick whilist i was in kindergarten
we had a fake marriage and everything
first kiss i really remember
middle school some slut
dunt recall her name
decent lay though
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ironically the post is kind of about not kissing her. I ended up kissing her later, but it didnt really fit with the story, so I left it out. http://www.ubersite.com/m/52112
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ps link to your first kiss post so i can read it. i've read loads of your posts but i can't remember that one.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you're right, tinactin. i am the pink shirt. i didn't think anyone could figure it out based on my other camwhores.
i was "punk" that year, cutting my hair assymetrical and spiking it up on the side.
woo!
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
god damn it bart
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:39:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're clearly pink shirt. I actually wrote a post once about the girl who ended up being my first kiss. My memory of her is that of being a 10 year old, so now thinking about her just seems creepy.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:37:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're clearly pink shirt. I actually wrote a post once about the girl who ended up being my first kiss. I think of her as a 10 year old though, so if I remember her as being hot I'm a pedophile.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're clearly pink shirt. I actually wrote a post once about the girl who ended up being my first kiss. I think of her as a 10 year old though, so if I remember her as being hot I'm a pedophile.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-01-06 02:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i had to cut off our group girl's picture because two of the girls had the logo of the school on their shirts. i'm not keen on a lawsuit.