THUPA Round 2; I quit. (402 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 2 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shadow (View user info) at 2008-12-23 22:56:38 EST
I need a pair of steel buckets, four pan lids, and a 1997 Epiphone bass...
Now gimme a beat
I only took this position
to gain some recognition
to pad the resume quick
with some accounting bullshit
I never dreamed that I'd be
on the clock a year later
with a slow rising paycheck
surrounded by haters
(Oh... yeah)
Chubby bitches shoving pastries
down their ever-gaping maws
slurp decaffeinated coffee
mocha-latte with a straw
Can't believe I got stuck
with an office full of whitey
busting outta this dump
and I ain't going lightly
This means I've got to quit
I've had enough of the bullshit
Step one: don't get caught
putting fingers on supplies
stashing staplers in my draw's
under heavy lidded eyes
Step two: lay a five
in the security guard's hand
so he looks the other way
when I sneak shit to my van
Step three: just make a mess
in the filing cabinet bins
d'you know Cleveland's in Alaska?
Holy shit, well now it is
Step four: leave a memo
to your boss before you go
signed "Underpaid Nigga"
like the bitch didn't know
Keep it going...
Urinating on the plants
in your posh office lobby,
defecating on the fax
so I can send you a copy
Leave a bread-crumb trail
from the lounge to the printer
so you can pick out the raisins
left behind by the critters
Cash your 401k
blow it all on k-y
switch it with the mop and bucket
watch the chubby bitches fly
Stick the elevator doors
send the car to the top floor
watch the boss take a fall
she won't be bitchin' any more
Last thing before you go
remember the token office hottie?
Drop that ass a quick note
saying "meet me in the lobby"
Get the hottie out the door
slam it shut and make a pass
Don't forget to show your colleagues
one last glimpse of your ass
Peace.
User Reviews
Submitted by RoadSong (user info) at 2008-12-27 19:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2008-12-27 18:32:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2008-12-24 20:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nigga takes care of his child'rn's
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-24 15:10:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-12-24 00:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
does playing a bass guitar hurt your fingers less than a normal guitar?
______
Actually, yes. The guitar I usually play has steel strings and high action. After a while my fingers are red and raw (Takamine). The bass strings on the Commodore's Epiphone are (in my experience) easier to hold down, so the pressure of thin bits of metal on skin is much less.
But it's going to vary a lot by make and model, and I'd be lying if I said I was anything close to an expert on such things.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-12-24 14:46:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-23 23:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No no, not a forfeit. I realized moments after posting that the title might be misconstrued, but I'm putting my faith in the intelligence of the users.
...
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*deep breath*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you've got red hair now? i'm contemplating a mowhawk.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2008-12-24 10:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Step three: just make a mess
in the filing cabinet bins
d'you know Cleveland's in Alaska?
Holy shit, well now it is
You silly son of a bitch.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-12-24 09:28:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ol School.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-12-24 08:35:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funky
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-12-24 04:49:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-24 03:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Suck my white chocolate balls.
Merry Christmas Shadow.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-12-24 01:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2008-12-24 00:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
does playing a bass guitar hurt your fingers less than a normal guitar?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-24 00:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-23 23:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
kk, why are you up so late?
Oh, nevermind.
_______________________
'Cause I have no life. **weeps**
Also, it's only a bit after midnight here right now.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-23 23:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No no, not a forfeit. I realized moments after posting that the title might be misconstrued, but I'm putting my faith in the intelligence of the users.
...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-12-23 23:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Was that a forfeit or not?
If so, best forfeit EVAR.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-23 23:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
kk, why are you up so late?
Oh, nevermind.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-23 23:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Impregnate me.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-23 23:00:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
East Coast Style.