Christmas Nonsense (531 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.55 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ilikesteak (View user info) at 2008-12-23 03:39:33 EST
Smoke billows in some manner in which would suggest that, were it a conscious entity; it would want to escape the fetid hellhole from which it came. Not that smoke normally isn't wont to stay and watch the fun, but the burning of corpses is only rarely entertaining, and our not-consciously-aware-of-the-world-around-it smoke wouldn't want to play the long odds that it'd be interesting.
Besides, those sexy clouds won't rain themselves.
Sadly, our smoke would have made ye olde fortune, so far as to say if it were gambling particulates, it could have become a fully fledged smog. The burning bodies were clown bodies. Santa cooks the creepy bastards and feeds them to the reindeer. A texture reminiscent of balloon animals and children's tears, annoying but delicious.
The entertaining part is, all clown suits and apparel made after 1987 are fire retardant. The cheap kind of face paints most popular among clowns are also still primarily lead based, and are generally burn resistant, but are still a grease compound to the degree that they easily catch fire. Clowns can last up to seventy two hours in the coal-and-tire fires. You could microwave them to cook them from the inside-out, but they're better clow cooked, and Prancer appreciates it.
Hooray for the man in the suit, for if not for him, I'd have one less excuse to be a cynical bastard.
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-24 03:51:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
steak, i love you
Merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry Christmas
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2008-12-24 00:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm convinced that I've achieved "That name seems familiar, but not quite popular enough to be a pseudo-household name. I should look and see what is written, and hopefully be pleasntly suprised." status.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-23 14:33:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-12-23 13:15:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nonsense indeed.
Submitted by Linus (user info) at 2008-12-23 12:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2008-12-23 09:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-23 08:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-23 04:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And yes, I spelt 'favour' with a 'u'. The right way.
__________________
That's bullshit and you know it. The addition of all those extra letters is just a British scheme to maintain worldwide Scrabble dominance.
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Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2008-12-23 08:46:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've learned so much from this yet have so many questions:
If I were to slow cook a clown what temp should my oven be at?
If I were to slow cook a clown and wanted to have a festive looking entree, say 4th of july
festive, would it be socially faux pas if I didn't match the make up to the holiday?
How well would a mime cook and taste?
If I wanted to date a clown but then the relationship ended up not working out could I cook her for santa and leave her on the mantle? Would he enjoy it?
I like fried food and cheese. Could I flash fry a clown and stuff him with cheese?
What wines go with slow cooked clown?
If the elves weren't getting there noursihment from suckling santas teets and ass boils do you think they would be interested in eating slow cooked clown?
etc. etc. etc....
Thank you!
Merry Christmas
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-23 08:22:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-23 13:18:05 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-23 04:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And yes, I spelt 'favour' with a 'u'. The right way.
__________________
That's bullshit and you know it. The addition of all those extra letters is just a British scheme to maintain worldwide Scrabble dominance.
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Aand iit worksz.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2008-12-23 08:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-23 04:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And yes, I spelt 'favour' with a 'u'. The right way.
__________________
That's bullshit and you know it. The addition of all those extra letters is just a British scheme to maintain worldwide Scrabble dominance.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-12-23 07:45:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-23 04:24:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it wrong to jerk off over Santa?
He jerked off over me once, so it seems fair to return the favour.
And yes, I spelt 'favour' with a 'u'. The right way.