THUPA Round 1; The Night Before Ubermas (679 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.64 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shadow (View user info) at 2008-12-16 22:00:11 EST
'Twas the night before Ubermas
and all through the web
odd creatures were stirring
and infecting our heads
And the hearts of the geeks
were quickly infested
with alien parasites
who consumed and digested
until all the land
was void of geek love
from Silicon Valley below
to Mac Nazis above
And in this dire time
of bloggers and whingers
of shit posting losers
and chemical fueled gingers
There was but one hope
for the gathering masses
but to earn his dear favor
kindly show all your asses.
No wait, I am mistaken
just the laydiez get nude
to the rest of you blokes
he'll say something rude
And then it's tee time
that "tee", not "tea" jerks
when you have a massive checkbook
you enjoy all the perks.
And so the cry went up
all over the nation;
"Uncle Shlongy, please donate
to my college education,"
And while you're at work
go ahead and set right
all the internet nerds
who are itching for a fight.
And Shlongy did come
and sing a great tune
titled "STFU dipshit,"
and drank cocktails 'til noon
when suddenly the geeks
awoke from their stupor
and climbed back to their websites
on laptops and computers
And joy did spread
through the digital land,
from DeathJester's pint
to Bart's loving right hand.
And now Berty is rambling
on humanity and war
and orphelia is gestating
a few babies or more
and ghola is writing
her thoughts in short prose
sandmantate is off sniffing
MVA asses with his nose
And F J Bell is composing
more love notes to chicks
and apollo is slapping
his Jew Princess with his dick
and Indoninja is ranting
"A racist, I am none!"
while FALLEN and kaos
consume sweet sticky buns
corn_nugget seeks employment
and redskies catches the flu
HighVoltage battles zombies,
and he'll battle you too
TToM minds the critters
and makes movies of short
JMG is long gone,
Icarus is back, they report
Razor has returned
but no stories are up yet
katy's vending your porn
on the vast worldwide net
skrapmetal uses his tools
to bring joy to girls and boys
when making a canjitar
and other rockin' toys
but keep little ones away
from the site you call home
NSFW is our motto
and we'll change it for none
And so peace has returned
to Ubersite this year
For the holiday is coming
and I'm drinking some beer
And if I failed to mention
a name or a few
just remember I love you
like Jonukah, you silly jew.
User Reviews
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-22 09:41:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-19 14:35:47 GMT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope your Christmas is full of festive cheer, that love and peace surround you through the holidays.
:o)
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-12-19 13:03:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you didn't break any rules. You're free to write about whatever you want.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-19 07:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The poor Violinist is sporting triple Ds that spill out of her tops, we can only speculate cruelly how pendulous they may become.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, can we?!
*daydreams*
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2008-12-19 00:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
generally i would be against this sort of namedropping but you made it funny.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-18 21:16:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Methinks the alter doth protest too much.
Maybe, anyway, it's hard to understand what you're typing with your dick in your hand.
It's cool man, the rating I left for you stands. I do not believe in the retal -2; it's Christmas after all. Or Hanukkah, if you prefer. Kwanzaa? Yule? Eh, Happy Holidays.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2008-12-18 21:06:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
noalter. I'mme an you blow.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-18 20:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whose alter is billrhine? It's so hard to keep track these days.
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2008-12-18 20:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-18 17:30:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, it's difficult to judge height since she's draw in platform heals. Those puppies would probably be about six inches, so we may be closer.
Honestly though, my boobs are not that big. Unless a "special occasion" bra is in use. They do, however, resist the pulls of gravity. The poor Violinist is sporting triple Ds that spill out of her tops, we can only speculate cruelly how pendulous they may become.
Her back muscles are quite fit, though.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-18 17:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-18 07:40:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this what you look like, ish?
_______
I'm shorter, with a softer face and longer hair.
Big blue eyes.
Submitted by YourNameHere (user info) at 2008-12-18 14:49:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2008-12-18 13:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm maybe I will write a story.
Submitted by Offspring (user info) at 2008-12-18 09:55:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-18 07:40:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this what you look like, ish?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-17 20:58:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PS. This better win.
The entire contest, I mean.
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-12-17 20:49:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-17 19:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 for not mentioning me
:(
___________________________
It was late, I was drunk (it was my birthday, you know), and you know I lurve you.
In wrong, wrong, dirty ways.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-12-17 14:28:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DID YOU STEAL MY IDEA FROM A PREVIOUS CONTEST????
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100534
Wise move. I won that round.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2008-12-17 14:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
win
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2008-12-17 14:17:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2008-12-17 13:07:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very nice. Can you make up one about my aunt before her stump removal surgery? One that will induce a massive coronary please. That bitch needs to die.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-12-17 13:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmm....
sticky buns!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2008-12-17 10:11:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was a fun read.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 for not mentioning me
:(
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-1 for not mentioning me
:(
Submitted by sage104 (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:38:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2008-12-17 09:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmmmmmm....
sticky buns!
Submitted by rubbermaid (user info) at 2008-12-17 08:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Namedropping has lost edge for me, especially when I have none.
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-12-17 07:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good grief, shadow. I'm going to compose an extra-special love note for you in light of this!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-12-17 07:14:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
meh
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-12-17 07:00:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
excellent
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-12-17 06:59:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should really name drop me, its all the rage
plus 2 for my future name drop
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-12-17 06:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I's already decided to +2 this before I even got to the serious namedropping, and then...
+2 Namedrop
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2008-12-17 03:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2008-12-17 01:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-12-16 23:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
quickly scrolled and saw the namedrops. ctrl + f'ed. cried a little.
decided to read and LOL'ed
my favourite line was maybe the indoninja one. i think it was penned to try and fit in with a general meter and line scheme, but the 'racist, i am none.' captured his occasional trouble with the english language when he's on a roll. unintentional hilarity?
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-12-16 22:20:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a modern day Freddie Mercury with muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch better teeth.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-16 22:17:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course, how silly of me.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-12-16 22:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I'm simply adorable.
Duh.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2008-12-16 22:13:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I also love forensic, Doodles (though I don't know why), and Sacrilious who is my slightly northern hottie neighbor.
More love to come, stay tuned.
By the way, who's tried the Sam Adams Chocolate Bock? I bought myself a bottle for my birthday (which was yesterday) but I left it at the Drummer's house. Odds are I'll need to buy a new bottle, but I want to know what kind of quality I'm buying (again).
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2008-12-16 22:06:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"control +F" "doodles"
...
:(
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2008-12-16 22:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where's the love?
*weep*
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-12-16 22:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful! A new Christmas classic.