No original content, just devisive rhetoric (627 hits)
Category: Politics -> DemocratsRating: 0.61 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hookhand (View user info) at 2008-10-23 20:10:52 EDT
I stole this
Dear Red States...
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
User Reviews
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2008-11-04 19:16:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's been too long since I've given you a -2
Submitted by EJ (user info) at 2008-10-24 23:18:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality.
Submitted by Jordan85777 (user info) at 2008-10-24 22:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-10-24 12:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-24 09:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So is there a difference in the way Republican girls and Democrat girls have sex? Or am I missing the point?
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Not being from the US I couldn't say for sure but doesn't it have something to do with Democrats not being related to the person they are having sex with?
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I was already laughing when i was reading this post and this comment made the fact that I am home on a friday just fade out of my mind.
Submitted by DanielJackings (user info) at 2008-10-24 13:47:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We get the brains, You get the bibles.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2008-10-24 12:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-24 09:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So is there a difference in the way Republican girls and Democrat girls have sex? Or am I missing the point?
=========================
Not being from the US I couldn't say for sure but doesn't it have something to do with Democrats not being related to the person they are having sex with?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2008-10-24 11:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-10-24 09:58:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So is there a difference in the way Republican girls and Democrat girls have sex? Or am I missing the point?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-10-24 06:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-10-23 20:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-10-23 20:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
old but ace
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2008-10-24 04:19:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this was linked from best of craigs list today on a certain website lolz I saw it too
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2008-10-24 03:31:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2008-10-23 22:48:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Old but right on.
It saddens and disgusts that my beautiful home is a red state.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2008-10-23 22:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It makes me glad that Florida is slowly becoming a blue state
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2008-10-23 21:49:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE GOOD POT
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2008-10-23 21:06:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had "divisive" but spellcheck changed it. True story
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2008-10-23 21:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"devisive"?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-10-23 20:52:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kthxbai
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-10-23 20:48:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-10-23 20:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
old but ace
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2008-10-23 20:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
old but ace
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-10-23 20:36:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Now you be nice.
Jesus done told Helen Marie Stuttsman to eat that entire pecan (pronounced PEE-can) pie. It ain't her fault she wears a 22W.