End of the Line -- OR -- Bastards in Suits (not really an entertaining piece) (428 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.62 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RyuFu (View user info) at 2008-09-23 14:59:08 EDT
"Even though I don't post on Uber much anymore, I still check in from time to time."
I put that first line in quotes since I'm fairly certain there's a bunch of folks on here that meet that could say that. I also have the other uber-cliche at my disposal: "so I just started work and i wuz randomly typing in things about boring work and found b@w and found uber and blah, blah, blah........"
In any case, in keeping with the tens of thousands of planned job cuts, I am out. Or maybe it's not considered a cut, since the job will still exist. Except it will be done by a cheap consultant in Las Vegas instead of a full-time employee w/benefits in NYC. It's been 3 weeks since the announcement, so I've had time to sleep on it a bunch and mercifully there was a friend's bachelor party thrown in there to take my mind off of it. Now I'm just contemplative.
In a global financial institution of hundreds of thousands of employees with offices in every major city and even dozens of offices just here in the Metro NY area, I've been on this same floor of this same building for over 4 years. That's effectively my entire adult life. I consider my college years to be decidedly non-adult save for the rare occasions females would let me penetrate them. In their souls...and holes. Short of a couple of 2-week vacations, I've never been away from this floor for more than a few days at a time. Now, I'm not going to be allowed back. And I had nothing to do with it. The business world is a tough, cold place. Actually, that's life in general, huh? Maybe I haven't become an adult until now.
I recently realized that I've been on Uber very nearly as long, back to my intern days. Will it seem different posting post-employment? Will I even have reason to log on, as there won't be a job to be bored by?
Ah, fuck it, enough contemplation. Here's the score: My last day here is in mid-October, after which I'll be paid regularly until mid-December. This is the period I'm given to look for a job, since my termination is not the result of poor performance. (Actually my performance this year more than likely would have entitled me to another raise and bonus). After this period I'll receive a lump sum severance package plus compensation for whatever vacation I didn't use. This effectively takes me into mid-February 2009 before I need a similarly paying job to handle my bills.
I have a question for anyone that has taken the minute to read this: what would you do with this time? What would you do with roughly 2-4 months of nothing to do, not (yet) having to worry about your bills, no complicating matters (like children, broken leg, being dead). Yes, it would be tempting to smoke up and watch ATHF for a lot of this time, but my question is directed more in a real-life direction. In other words, my plan is to re-acquaint myself with some programming/scripting languages, make a portfolio, get my old bosses' letters of recommendation and apply for a job with the government. Perks and stuff.
Of course, that's the modified version of the plan after discussing it with my fiancee. (Oh yeah, I'm getting married next June, so that's a bit of a heartache at the moment). What I really wanted to do was start working at Starbucks like the same day as my final day here. Basically, I've always wondered what it would be like to work as a barrista or cashier or something like that knowing I didn't have to be there. And after a couple months I would re-evaluate. Read the previous paragraph to see the alterations made to this plan.
Soooo....yeah, what would you do? Hmmm?
$100 to the person with the best Office Space-related plan/idea/quote/joke/etc.
User Reviews
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-09-24 07:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2008-09-24 00:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Provoke your self-talking coworker to burn down the building and make a living cleaning the rubble?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2008-09-23 22:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LEARN TO WELD!
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<3
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should get high and watch ATHF.
Dude, take a vacation if you can afford it. Take a couple of correspondent courses ans explore the city. You're very lucky to be in a good position.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LEARN TO WELD!
Submitted by monkeyswithguns (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:13:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should consider yourself very, VERY lucky that you got a severance package. I know plenty of professionals, particularly in the hard hit insurance industry who got laid off with nothing but a kick in the ass.
Still as far as being a barrista, it's fun for about a week. I did it once, when I worked as a cook for Cracker Barrel. It lasted a week, during which time I made a new herb hookup, and learned quite definitavely that I'll never ever eat at Cracker Barrel again.
Then one day, I just up and walked up to the manager and told him he'd need to look for a new replacement. He asked why, and I told him flat out with a smiling face, "Because I can do better than this."
Priceless.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
work somewhere i actually like for a start. even if it's for five hours a day. might as well chase some sort of childhood dream and get paid for it if you don't have to worry about money yet. i also recommend trying to find a mentor/apprentice set up in something you've always thought was cool but didn't have time for.
Submitted by Desz (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
since we are saying standard uber stuff...
Go kill yourself
Submitted by Comfortably_Numb (user info) at 2008-09-23 15:08:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could develop a program that takes the fraction of a penny that usually gets rounded off and deposits it into your account.