If I stayed here with you girl, things just couldn't be the same (886 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.37 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brian Johns (View user info) at 2008-08-28 12:36:40 EDT
When I was 16 I went to a concert that I will never forget. It was Lynyrd Skynyrd, or at least a band that called itself Lynyrd Skynyrd despite half the band dying in a plane crash 20 years earlier. Regardless, it was a good concert. Bad Company opened for them, or at least a band that called itself Bad Company despite not having Paul Rodgers in it (though it did rejoin them a couple years later, not that anyone cared).
I really had not been to a lot of concerts at this point in my life and was starting to get into music a lot more. You see, in my 16 year old eyes, rockstars got chicks. In fact, at this concert I actually observed the non-Paul Rodgers lead singer of Bad Company beckon for two girls to come backstage. And they did! Some aging rocker was going to bang a couple of hot 20 year olds. Very cool job if you can get it.
But a few guys at my high school learned to play instruments and girls seemed to find that attractive. They got waaaay for chicks than me, although just one would have been waaaay more back then. It must have been their ability to play music (as opposed to the fact that they were better looking, had better bodies and even had cars). So I decided to get into music more in order to get chicks.
One of my friends was stuck in the 70's when it came to rock n' roll, so he was a big Skynyrd fan. While my preference was for more modern stuff, the band had some good songs and a concert was a concert. So we went with his older brother, who had a car, to the outdoor venue where the show was.
Mid way through the concert, which was pretty good, I happen to look down the aisle of seats to my right. My eyes immediately locked with those of a strawberry blonde girl wearing a black Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt. She smiled. Being a pussy virgin who had zero confidence, I looked away. Then I looked back. She was looking away herself now, but then turned her head back and smiled again. Finally, I smiled back.
Yes, I know. That kind of shit is meant for grade four. And no, I didn't turn to my friend and giggle. But I may as well have, because I didn't do anything about this situation. For the rest of the concert, I kept making eye contact with this girl, smiling, then doing dick-on-a-stick about it. I could have walked over and introduced myself. I could have approached her after the show. I could have given her my lighter during "Tuesday's Gone". But I didn't, because I was a pussy.
Was she cute? I thought so from my vantage point of 20 feet away. Of course it was dark and I was a horny (though stupid and scared) 16 year old. I still think about her to this day, about what could have been. About taking her home that night and sexually disappointing her with 20 seconds of dry humping followed by premature ejaculation. Maybe she would have gotten over that disappointment and wanted to be my girlfriend. Maybe life would be different today.
What would I do differently if I could re-live that moment? Nothing. Why? Because the regret from that night was a good thing. When I got older, every time I was too intimidated to approach a girl in a bar I thought of that moment. Whenever I was at the point where I needed to make a move on a girl and was afraid of rejection, I remembered the strawberry blonde at the Skynyrd show and went for the kill.
It wasn't so much that I learned confidence that night, but that I learned the most important lesson of my life. The reasons to act are almost always better than the reasons you can think up not to act. Believe me, I'm not a rockstar with the ladies or in life for that matter. But I've done as well as can be expected with the looks and intelligence I was given. All because I didn't make a move on a strawberry blonde at a Skynyrd concert.
User Reviews
Submitted by Aadarm (user info) at 2008-08-29 09:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 since I saw what passes for Skynard earlier this month.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2008-08-29 09:01:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hamgina
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-29 07:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
About taking her home that night and sexually disappointing her with 20 seconds of dry humping followed by premature ejaculation.
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One day I'm gonna go that far with a girl!
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-08-29 07:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2008-08-28 22:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A real southern band? Like what, the Beatles? They're not southern you jerk.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2008-08-28 20:14:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
go see a real southern band.
Submitted by lotuseater (user info) at 2008-08-28 19:28:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great story.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2008-08-28 19:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe you wouldnt have been stuck with that bitch who gets uptight when you talk about masturbation
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2008-08-28 18:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Haha @ Method.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2008-08-28 18:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
About taking her home that night and sexually disappointing her with 20 seconds of dry humping followed by premature ejaculation.
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hahaha that's awesome.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2008-08-28 16:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can get over 250'000 points on Freebird on Guitar Hero 2
what? Why are you looking at me like that?
Submitted by JoeAverage (user info) at 2008-08-28 15:53:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I felt sedated by this story (RAMONES).
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:46:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
R.A.M.O.N.E.S. Ramones.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:24:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:06:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OUSTED LIKE A SENATOR IN AN AIRPORT BATHROOM!
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-28 14:00:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really have to try harder to remember what username I'm logged on as.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Motorhead is awesome. Lemmy's tribute to the Ramones (R.A.M.O.N.E.S) is one of my favorite songs. Very cool that two completely different bands were such admirers of each others work.
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:58:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahhahahhaha
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Dammit
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:56:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coincidentally, "Motorhead" is Method's moms nickname
Submitted by X54 (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:49:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to see Motorhead this weekend.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:43:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Though just as I stick to the "Method's Mom is a whore" angle, you should keep the "Quint's Dad" jokes about him not sticking around. Consistency is important.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hush
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad at all. Of course, given that I'm one of your alters, you're really just making fun of yourself.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:38:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, let me try one!
One night Quint went up to his dad and asked him to borrow the car.
Quint's dad put down his paper, glanced up at him over his horn rimmed glasses and said "Well sure, son, but you'll have to slob my knob first"
Quint naturally obliged, and went to town. About halfway through he stopped and said "Hey Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"
Quint's dad responded "Well yeah, your sister borrowed the car last night"
How's that?
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, those are easy. Here's some freebies Method:
"What do Quint's Dad and the lead singer of Lynyrd Skynyd have in common? They're both not around anymore."
"Who Quint know better, his Dad or President Bush? President Bush, because he actually met him"
"Why does Quint exist? Because on one drunken night, his Dad decided to try a woman for a change"
p.s. I just noticed the picture title. Hilarious.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:25:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Cause my boss just walked in and gave me a promotion even though I spend most my day dicking off on Ubersite. He said I am management material...
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:14:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One year I went to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert hoping to see an inbred Redneck knife fight, or at least I wanted to see inbred Rednecks doing really stupid shit.
I didn't. It was one of the most well behaved audiences I've ever seen.
For fuck's sake! This was at the Missouri State Fair! Surely there should have been some amount of entertainment provided by the toothless masses, but alas, there wasn't.
Later on that same year, I went to see a Jethro Tull concert. At that concert I witnessed two drunk guys beat the oatmeal out of each other's asses over a misplaced beer.
Go figure.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:11:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't think of any good "Quint's Dad" jokes = (
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Method, speaking of clichés, did your Mom fuck the band of midgets?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i delivered pizzas at the buffalo cihp campground during the sturgis motorcycle rally, lynyrd skynyrd was one of several bands on stage while I distributed pizzas to the drunken scooter trash.
Submitted by BobSandwich (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:05:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was 16 I saw ZZ Top, Hank Jr., and Kid Rock.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:01:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When I was 16 I went to a concert that I will never forget. It was The Cliches, or at least a band that called itself The Cliches despite half the band being loud and obnoxious hook nosed midgets.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2008-08-28 13:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Skynyrd is playing here on Hilton Head in a few weeks. We are co-promoting the show.
I will not be there.
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-08-28 12:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
\m/
Submitted by MudWhistle (user info) at 2008-08-28 12:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you have to +2 Skynyrd
its like a fucking law
Submitted by sandmantate (user info) at 2008-08-28 12:49:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes.